Chapter 42: Left
*insert the sad song up* hihi
Arriving back at the headquarters, I broke down inside. Soaked in wetness from the acid rain that stings my skin. Eyes were too heavy and blurry to even sight. Voice were cracked to even speak. Heart tired to even pound after how much it crashed.
My back hit the cold wall as I cried just by the front door. Luckily, no one has already arrived yet. They've probably be staying at the camp for nearly hours after the storm passed.
It's just a miracle... just a miracle for me that I've even reached the way back while storming. I was just...- I am not lucky.
The moment I hear the rain fall down harder, my tears rushed hader. Letting out all the feelings I was avoiding.
"Why can't I become so strong..
" I murmured to my own.
"Why do I have such a sensitive ass?!" I yelled, echoes rang on my ears.
I cringed at the thought.
"Why does we have to become hurt...? Why does people have to..."
It was all such dumb questions... But it was also such stupid things that happened to me.
I ran to my room, locking the door and decided to shower and help to refresh my mind. Once I was on the state, I grabbed a pen and a paper that I always bring everytime and sat on the table on my terrace to start writing.
This is the only way to relieve myself. I've been through so much distress... and it's just really difficult to cope.
Time had passed, I kept on watching the rain pour from the terrace when my phone rang.
I fished out my phone from my pocket to see a contact calling.
Incoming call: Mr. James.
I hesitantly picked up, hoping that this was something but not the latest issue back at the camp.
But unfortunately. I was wrong.
"Yes Mr. James?" I ask. Trying to hide the husks of my vocals.
"(Y/n)! Where have you been? We can't contact you lately... we were so worried that you suddenly got lost..."
Get lost.
Levi's words suddenly flashes back to my head.
"Excuse me Mr. James for not letting you know but I've already went back to the headquarters..." I took a deep breath. "I suddenly got migraine. Maybe due to my previous memory illness... I'm so sorry."
"Oh no, it's fine, dear." Mr. James sighed. "And thank god that you were safe. It was such a hard rain lately..."
I took a gaze outside, the rain slowly weakens... But it's still dull as it was outside.
"Yeah... Don't worry about me."
"Okay. But I've got bad news," He stated slightly down. "The last two scenes. We couldn't make it. Petra's leg was really bad. She's injured and we needed her to the last so we have to revise the next scenes and make a new ending."
She was ill. And probably Levi will be there for couple of days as well to take care of her, of course.
"I understand." Those simple words only left from me.
"And we wouldn't be taping anymore. We'll take care of it. Maybe the last scene shot will be our basis for the new ending which is... sadly. Petra and Levi's part. And they should be the one to get together since we can't add another takes. I'm really sorry (y/n) if it wasn't you, we just have to fix this-"
"I do understand," I was tired. My voice became a little uninterested of what I've heard. "I know that we need to adjust this especially that Petra wasn't able to recover that fast. I understand, Mr. James... Please, do you best for this film. I-I'll support anything for the sake of this movie."
It breaks me while saying this things and I know. I know, It was the only way to save everything. It wasn't just for me. It was for the sake of the accomplishment...
I wanted to see Levi smiling when we accomplished this. It's also one that matters.
"Thank you for your consideration, (y/n). But we still apologize... we're very happy for your support." It was audible at the next line how elated Mr. James is.
"No problem." Actually there is. A lot of it.
"Alright. We were already cancelling the taping. Thank you very much for participation. You can now have your deserved rest."
"Thank you, Mr. James." I immediately ended the phone call.
It was enough. It was enough for me to hear another news. It's way too much and my heart is tired.
To be honest. I was literally tired. I need to rest. A lot of rest.
I went back to my room and lay down to the bed we once made with sweet memories.
I'm tired enough to let another tears flow from my eyes...
I slowly close my lids...
I hope this will be enough.
-
Timeskip~
The large open windows made the sunlight enter my room, making me instantly get up early in the morning.
I shot a glance on my bundoir, seeing my eyes blood shot red makes me feel sick. No, shook it off.
Another day must be another hope.
I left my room, observing the empty hallway. I walked down to the main living. People weren't here yet. Probably stayed at the camp overnight.
I made myself a tea. Reminding me of Levi again.
I sat on the empty dining table. Obviously alone so I broke the silence.
"I wish Levi was here..." I muttered. "So we could have this little times again."
I gripped tightly at my cup, trying to hold back the tears attempting to fall. Tch. I'm such a crybaby.
I get up, trying to soothe myself and fortunately it worked. I washed the cup, went back to my room and asked Mr. James if I could go back to Japan that he answered yes.
I packed my things up and booked a flight that day. I returned back, making my way back home.
I just needed space. I need to be alone. A lot of it.
I left France alone. Sitting at the plane with a certain stranger next to me was much better than a paparazzi who wants to ask a lot from the broken hearted woman who got embarrassed in front of everyone in the tape.
I can't bear to go home with others because they seemed to be intrigued about the incident and probably became curious so I went home by myself.
Now here I am standing, back at the house I live just right next to the cold stoic, socially awkward frienemy of mine. Levi Ackerman.
Why did I always thought of him? He's nothing but just a man of my dreams before.
I laughed at the thought.
Idiot.
I know that if Levi was here, you say otherwise.
True.
I shooked everything away and went inside my house. I tried to leave all of the tragedies that happened back at France. I always thought that we'll be having memorable experiences.
And we really had. Just a memorable and heartbreaking memories.
I sighed and slumped my tired self on the couch. I wish I could turn back time...
Revise it all when I'm still just a simple fan who was trying hard to reach my idolized person.
I wish I was still the fan I used to before... so I was living completely fine just like how my family and friends told me.
Unlike now.
Yes. I could touch my idol.
We even kissed.
But everything hurts.
And breaks me down.
So I would rather freely yell his name at the concert, cry and love him from a far...
at least I could never get hurt by his lies.
Than touch, hug and kiss him like we own each other together but living in a whole game and white lies.
But I'm no deity, nor god and majesty to do such things...
The only thing that I thought of was...
I hope we will stay as everything used to be...