day 22 ➜ to someone I want to give a second chance to
Dear Mum,
You know what. I don't want to start this letter in a pleasant way. I want to start this with what's really on my mind every time someone brings up the word, mother.
Where were you?
Where the fuck have you been Mum?
You never found me, and right now I'm surrounded by four cement walls.
I always thought the reason Dad came to leave me at Aldertree and not both of you was that it was too hard for you. I always believed that.
I always deep down believed that when Dad had told Aldretree he'd be back for me, it meant you too. That my Mum wanted me back too, at some point.
But Mum... why did you have to wait?
Why?
Why did you wait so long?
It's been so long and I can no longer reach you like a normal person. You'd have to get visitation rights. That's how long its been, Mum.
But no matter what.
You carried me, for nine months you carried me.
I refuse to believe you felt nothing for me.
Or that I meant nothing to you.
So I'll always wait for you, Mum.
You'll always get a second chance with me, Mum. Because you gave me a chance at life.
There was this one time, must be, what? Six or seven years ago, that Christine and I were walking to the park where there was a box of abandoned kittens. We took it to the nearest church, and we helped the altar server settle them into blankets.
There was this one kitten, and it reminded me of myself.
When all the other kittens went towards the other cats to get milk, they accepted they'd been abandoned and that they had to move on. But that little kitten didn't he just sat there. It refused to drink anything.
It was being a stubborn fool, and I was worried about it.
I went back to check on it every Friday with Christine. By the third Friday, it had already died.
It refused to drink or eat anything from a cat that wasn't its mother and it died suffering, starving and in pain.
That little kitten was like me, I refused to be fostered or adopted because I waited for you guys.
After that kitten died, I realised my stubbornness was futile. And I realised I was a fool. A fool for you, Mum.
Like a kitten waiting for its mother's milk.
Kitten like human, huh?
All the love, Harry.
// author's note //
unedited.