o17 | I was happy

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day 17 ➜ to someone from my childhood

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day 17 to someone from my childhood

Dear Shelley,

I didn't like you as much as per say, Mike, but I liked you for what represented in my life. You were the closest thing I had to a mother-figure in my life. You spent a good ten years at Aldertree. You saw me grow up, and you saw me change. 

Even after you left in 2012 to go and start your own family, I missed you. You were that stern voice I found annoying in my childhood. That voice that kept me sane (although since I'm in prison for a double murder some might say not). 

So Shelley I really appreciated you when I saw you at my rehearsal dinner. Your words were comforting to me, to say the least, and even if you may not want to remember the child you raised that turned into a prisoner. 

I remember you.

And I cherish your memory.

Even if you try to forget that young, fresh-faced Harry you met years ago. Because it's too painful to process what I've become.

What I've tuned into. 

A wretched young man. 

Underserving of a family.

Underserving, yes, that's right. 

The world got it right. Right from the start.  No parents to call family. 

You'll probably never read this Shelley, so I might as well be honest here. Secretly, deep down at Aldertree, just as I saw Mike as my father figure... I wanted to see you as my mother figure and even when you scolded me and punished me, I was never really upset because you cared enough to discipline to be a better boy and I was happy. For those small young and fleeting moments, I was happy. Because you were the closest thing I had to a mother.

And somehow I feel like you really liked me back then, so whenever you'd heard the news of my current state I can't help but wonder if you were hurt when you heard I was incarcerated? If you cried?

If you did feel hurt or cry, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. I miss you and I wish you and your family well.

All the love, Harry. 

// author's note //

unedited



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