Getting into the airplane, Edward and I haven't really spoken to each other since we left the house. I bid my father and Kate goodbye once again since they were up early. Sitting on our seats, I took my earphones out as I went straight to my playlist, just as Edward closed his eyes, wanting to continue sleep.
He didn't look as if he slept yesterday - he left the room in awkward way.
I truly didn't want to believe that he was cheating on me or anything but Edward is the type to hog on his phone. He barely takes his phone out and he often gets pissed when I'm on my phone so for him to be on his phone 24/7, that's just .., rare. I may not know him a lot, but he's my boyfriend. - Edward is like an open book. That's what I thought when I first saw him. He's an open book that I could read all the time and would never get bored of.
But I guess some pages are stuck to each other and I don't have enough strength to tore them apart.
He loves his dad, though he doesn't want to do things the way his father wants to. He also hates people who are anti-social due to their phones. He likes to go to pancake house, though would never really eat them and he tends to work out when he has time to.
I watch as he covered his face with his cap, before looking away, minding my own business. Looking out the window, I noticed as the sky was grey. Just as the seatbelt mode was turned on, the pilot told us that the weather wasn't good. Gulping, I decided to close my eyes as I listened to my playlist, my heart beating faster. I don't always fly on airplane but when I do .., things like this tend to happen.
Leaning my head back, I felt someone reach for my hand. I looked at Edward as he held my hand, though nothing left our lips. Looking away, he licked his lips as he went back to sleep. I blinked before letting my hand go as everything went back to usual. Biting my bottom lip, I heard as a sigh left Edward's lips, along with a small fine.
***
Sitting in his car, we've arrived in LA and he was sending me back home. I looked out the window as he hit the steering wheel, making me surprised.
"Are you mute? Can't you speak?" he asked.
"I-"
"Why can't you just talk to me, Chloe? What's the matter with you?"
"Excuse me?" I asked. "What's the matter with you? You've been hogging on your phone a lot and you're not the type to-"
"Oh, please-"
"Don't cut me when I'm speaking, Edward Collins." I warned as I eye-d him. "You've been on your phone lately and I guess, you fell out of love with me?"
I heard a chuckle left his lips. "Do you actually think this is funny?"
He looked at me "Frankly, I do. Are you telling me that I fell out of love for you? Heck, I didn't go work to follow you back to fucking Melbourne and I went on a search for your mum."
"I didn't tell you to." I spat as he looked at me, anger his face.
"I don't get people like you, I really don't." he said. "I placed my time and effort and you're just going to tell me that you didn't tell me to do it? You're unbelievable." he spat as he halted the car at the gas station. "I'm going to fuel up." he said as he left the car, leaving me alone. I hissed as I took my phone out, just remembering that Maya wouldn't be home since she's having her break.
Turning the radio on, I tried calming myself.
As Edward got in, he continued on driving. I looked out the window, not wanting to look at him. He was also not interested on talking to me anymore. Clearing my throat, I knew my house was getting near.
"Just be honest, Edward. Is there anything you're hiding from me?" I asked. "About another girl?" I elaborated.
"There isn't another girl." he said as I sighed, noticing him halt his car.
"Alright then." I said as I felt the car stopped. He helped carry my bags before sending me to the front door. "I'll see you some other day." he said as he cupped my face, pecking my forehead. He looked at me as he was leaning to my lips just as I looked away, making his lips land on my cheek. "It's getting colder. You should go home." I said as he pulled away, looking at me.
"Yeah .., bye."
Getting into the house, it felt cold. Turning the heater on, I went straight to my room to organise my items. Placing my family picture next to my bed, I sighed. Sitting on my bed, I noticed as a familiar number sent me a text. Blinking for a few times, I hissed.
Let's meet.
It was from from Jonas.
Ignoring the text, I went to the bathroom for a quick bath.
Leaving the text, I noticed as another text got in, making me roll my eyes. Getting dressed, I dried my hair as I heard my phone buzz again. Cursing, I went towards it as I reluctantly opened the other two texts.
Don't ignore me.
I still have your pictures, Chloe. It isn't hard to spread them.
Gulping, I bit my bottom lip as I knew what he was talking about. I noticed as Toby called me, making me answer it.
"Chlo ..," he blurted. "Jonas gave me some old pictures of you .., again." he told as I sobbed.
"What am I going to do?" I asked.
"He said he'll give some to other people if you won't meet him .., just meet him. I'll go with you." he said as I cried.
"I still don't fucking get it why he must do this?! Why me, Toby?!"
"I don't know, Chloe .."
Quickly getting dressed, I wore a hoodie with sweatpants as I waited for Toby downstairs.
Getting into his car, my stomach felt so sick. This matter wasn't something I would want people to know - especially Edward. I had never talked to anyone about this, other than Toby, since he was there for me when it happened. "I'm going to hit that bastard's face, really fucking hard." Toby hissed as he drove towards the place Jonas wanted to meet me at. Parking the car, we spotted him instantly.
Getting out of the car, I watched as he had a sly smirk on his face, making Toby punched him. I held Toby back, not wanting him to make Jonas pissed. Jonas got up, the smirk still on his face. "Nice to see you too, Tob." he said as Toby pushed his hair back, not wanting to hear his sarcastic greeting on his lips. I watch as the male sat on the chair, "I thought I invited Chloe, only."
Looking at Toby, I assured him that it'll be alright before telling him to get back into his car.
Toby held my hand, his lips moving towards my ears.
"Don't let him take over you."
Nodding my head, I watch as Toby went inside his car, lighting up a cigarette. Sitting in front of Jonas, I felt my heart thump a little bit too fast. "I never loved you." Jonas told as I nod my head, letting him say what he wanted to. "I just wanted you for your body."
"I know."
"But I see you have a new boy. Edward Collins, isn't it?" he asked as he chuckled.
"I thought we made a deal, Chlo ..," he said as he drank his water.
"That deal where you can live while I'll suffer alone? You know, fuck that deal."
"Oh?" he raised his brow, his eyes on me. "Since when you cursing? The Chloe that I know couldn't even kill a bug - let everyone take over her while she hides in the corner of the room. The Chloe I know is a coward, let her best friend be with her own boyfriend. Couldn't even say shit about it and just left." he said as I held my own hand, wanting to punch him. "But the past is the past, now, our deal."
"I thought you promised you wouldn't find another guy?" he chuckled, as I looked away.
"Chloe .., baby." he called as his hands went towards mine, making me pull away.
"Wow, you truly moved on, haven't you?" he asked. "It's up to you, then, baby. Don't think your boy Edward is a nice guy - you barely know him."
"So you think you do?"
"Fiesty." he said. "Let's see what he'll do when he sees these pictures. Plus, he'll be thinking about his ex fiancé." he told as I widened my eyes.
"He won't"
"Oh, no. I'm not talking about Kayla .., I'm talking about the other one." he told as I looked at him.
"Oh, he didn't tell you? Pity. She died, he killed her."
I watch as he laughed, tears appearing on my eyes as I looked over to Toby. He noticed me crying, making him leave his car, walking over to Jonas, instantly throwing another punch. Toby took Jonas's phone as he smirked. "I'll keep this," he said as he took Jonas's memory cars, throwing his phone in Jonas's water. I watch as Jonas screamed as I held Toby back.
"Let's just go ..," I said as we walked towards Toby's car. leaving.
Sighing to myself, I drowned myself in the cigarette smoke. "How did I let this happen ..," I cried.
Toby held my hand. "It's alright ..," he said. "I'll explain it to Edward if you can't."
"Who is Edward's ex fiancé? Jonas told me he killed her!"
I watched as Toby's eyes were kept on the road. "I .., don't know."
***
I'm not perfect - nobody is perfect. They may be perfect in the way they look, but not in the way the act.
Jonas and I were friends during high school. Yes, after we left school, we were still friends though Jonas had this thing where he liked to control every act I do. Soon enough, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I rejected him.
All of sudden, he got angry that he started to throw all his things around since we were in his house during the event. I got scared as he started to cup my face, throwing cuss words at me on how he 'loved' me. I wanted to run away but he caught my hands, getting even more pissed.
'Alright, alright. I love you.' is the first lie I've ever said about love ; it was so easy faking love.
He knew I was lying so he hit my head on his wall. I became dizzy and I don't know what that happened that night and also, I don't want to know. The next morning is that I was in his room, naked and my stuffs like my clothes, make up, charger, every important things was in his house. I didn't believe in psycho ex-boyfriends until that happened.
I lived in hell for three years, I covered my body up for three years, I spent nights trying to escape for three years but no matter how much I try to leave, I couldn't and I hated him. I hate him so much that I would just kill him, yet I don't have the heart to. I told Toby all of this after the 'break up' and told him to keep it as a secret - it's embarrassing. Not that my family has a good name, but I don't want to pollute it any further.
I couldn't leave his side - he was too depressed. He'll love me at some nights and hate me on the other. I admit, I fell for his sweet words and soft sinful touches. Some nights he'll show me the pictures he took me, bare, and told me that he'll spread them if I ever leave.
After the break up. I would lie to people, making them think it was just another normal relationship. In those years, he would let me out but he would send me to work and pick me up too. I tried ran away once during the work hours.
He found me and got even more pissed.
In those three years, Jonas found Aria and I don't know if this could be seen as cheating but he 'cheated' on me. He threw me out the next day. And I had to live with Leah for a few weeks.
I don't know why, but I loved him.
I don't know why, but I got sad when he cheated on me.
I don't know why, but I spent nights crying over him.
I don't know why, but I thought he could actually love me one day.
I don't know why, but I still do.
I don't know why, and it doesn't even makes sense but I'm stronger now. I may have lied to everyone but I have a reason to - would you actually fall for a character who is as broken as me?
Walking into Toby's house, I covered my face with the hood on my hoodie. I noticed as Jade was in Toby's house, making me even more embarrassed. "I need to smoke." I exclaimed as I went upstairs to Toby's toilet. I took out a cigarette. Slowly lighting it up, I hit my head back on the door, thinking about what kind of an idiot I am.
I left his bathroom after 30 minutes on drowning myself in smoke. I walked down,
"I want to go home." I told as Toby got up. "No- please don't. I want to walk." I said as I left the house.
"Don't be ridiculous." Toby said as I shook my head, "Please .., let me be. I need to, think things through." I said as I looked inside, "Bye, Jade." I said as I waved at her, leaving.
Walking, I played my playlist as I thought of what went wrong in my life.
Who is there to blame - my mother? my father? my brother? Jonas? His parents? Aria? Myself?
Unknowingly, I walked into a bar. Unknowingly, I drank more than I should. Unknowingly, I drunk texted Toby as my mind wanted to click on Edward's number but I couldn't. I'm too embarrassed. Laughing to myself I watch as a familiar figure walked in.
"Hi Edward guy." I laughed a I watch him pay. He carried me out as I laughed. I sat on the passengers seats as I looked at his blurry face.
Pouting, I laughed all by myself. Walking into my house, I pulled him in with me. "Don't leave me." I said as I closed the door, feeling my body and face getting hot. "My house mate isn't here, we can do a lot of dirty things." I whispered as I chuckled all by myself.
Looking at Edward, I cupped his face. He wiped my face as he pulled my hoodie up, slowly kissing me as I close my eyes. My hands went towards him, slowly playing with the end of his shirt. His hands went under my shirt, slowly caressing my skin as I groaned, pulling away from the kiss.
"I-I can't." I told as he looked at me.
"You might be drunk and you probably won't remember this," he said. "But I love you, Chloe." he confessed as I looked at him, trying to focus as I chuckled.
"That's funny. Nobody can love me." I said.
"I'm unworthy of your love." I continued.
"I'm unworthy of anyone's love."