noel
We had fallen asleep in eachothers arms. I woke up with his arms around my waist and his head in the crook of my neck.
I slowly crawled out of Carl's bed, sure not to wake him up, and headed downstairs. I checked the time on my phone and it read 12:46 pm. I decided to make us both some lunch and checked to see if the Gallagher's had anything in their fridge.
Suprisingly, they did. They had a ton to make and eat. I can't remember the last time their fridge was this full, I guess Fiona really was doing well at Patsy's.
I pulled out the jelly and grapes and then I found the bread and peanut butter and began making sandwiches.
"What'd you leave bed for? I was comfortable," Carl groaned as he walked down the stairs, startling me.
"You scared me," I said as I rested my hand on my chest.
"Sorry, babe," he smirked, sitting himself down at the counter across from me.
"It's okay. Want a sandwich," I asked him. He nodded his head slighty and I began making him a sandwich as well. "How are you feeling?"
"A lot better," he said. "How about you?"
"Yeah, me too," I said. "But, um, there's something I still have to tell you." I put both of the lids to the jars back on the peanut butter and jelly and put them back in their places. I handed Carl his plate and took a small bite out of my sandwich.
"You gonna tell me or what," he asked, throwing a grape in the air and catching it in his mouth.
"I'm going back to Florida," I blurted out.
"As like a vacation," he asked, the tone of his voice unchanged. He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.
"If that's what you want to call it," I said. "My grandma is sick. Really sick. Like, deadly. I'm leaving Monday and I don't know when I'll be back." Carl slowly set his sandwich back down on his plate.
"If you had to guess, how long would you be there for," he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice.
"Months," I stated. "She doesn't have much longer to live. When she passes we have to do the funeral and get rid of all her shit. Depending on who she leaves the house to..."
"She isn't leaving the house to your dad is she," he asked in a panicked voice. "Because you're not leaving me."
"I don't know, Carl. Even if she does, I don't know what my dad will want to do," I told him. "I'll be back for sure within a couple of months, but I don't know if I'll be back for good or to pack the rest of my shit up."
There was a long moment of silence. Carl was staring down at his feet, slowly shaking his head.
"Fuck you," I heard him mumble under his breath.
"What," I asked, my stomach turning.
"Fuck you," he half yelled. "You come back, make me happy again just to fucking leave me for who knows how the hell long?"
"You're seriously pissed at me for something this stu-" I tried to speak, but he just interrupted me.
"Just fucking leave," he yelled. "I can't deal with this shit right now!" He ran up the stairs, leaving me there shocked at his words and actions. Then, he came back down and threw my coat at me. "Go, now!"
"Are you fucking kidding me," I yelled at him, picking my coat up off of the ground. "It's not my fault I'm leaving! I don't have a choice!"
"I'm fucking serious, Noel. Fucking leave, now. Fucking hate you," he mumbled those last three words so low, I thought that I was just mishearing him.
"What," I asked in disbelief as I felt the tears in my eyes build and try to burn their way out.
"I said I fucking hate you," he stated. He didn't yell this time. He said it in such a blank voice I couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling or trying to express.
I stood there in shock for a moment. Then, I finally began to make my way out the Gallagher's front door.
•••
Luckily, no one was home. I've used a half of a box of tissues just from wiping my tears away. My eyes are puffy and irritated from the tissue.
I know that he didn't mean it. He couldn't have meant it, right? Everything that we've been through...
I shook myself out of my thoughts and pulled my phone put of my pocket and found Tucker's contact.
El💜: hey, tuck. i'm sorry i haven't talked to you in awhile. stop by my house after school today? we've got a lot to catch up on.
If we're being honest, I don't deserve Tucker. He's a great friend, he's looked out for me since the day we met. It's clear that he truly does care about me, but all I do is push him away. I hate that about myself. I've pushed everyone I care about away. I don't know why I do it.
Tuck😋: of course. there are some things i need to talk to you about, too. it's bad.
El💜: how bad?
Tuck😋: BAD bad.
I could feel my stomach drop down to my feet. What else is everyone going to throw my way to make my life even the slightest bit worse?
•••
I heard a knock on my front and ran down the stairs right away to open it. Once I did, I found Tucker standing there, his hands in his pockets. I could see the worried look on his face.
"Hey," he said, walking right in. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Tell me what you wanted to talk about first," I negotiated. "Then, we'll talk about what I needed to talk about."
"Okay, but, you may want to sit down," he stated.
"I'm fine," I argued.
"Noel, believe me. I know how you get when you're angry," he told me. "Sit." I didn't argue anymore and I plopped down onto the couch, Tucker sitting down right next to me.
"Okay, I'm sitting. What is it," I asked, feeling anxious.
"Was Travis over here anytime last week? Like, in your house," he asked me.
"Yeah, why," I asked, becoming a little impatient.
"Well, there are rumors that you cheated on Carl with Travis and that's why Carl isn't talking to you and that's why neither of you are at school," Tucker told me.
"Tucker, that's stupid," I stated, narrowing my eyebrows at him. "Who's been saying this?"
"Is it true," he asked me, caution in his voice.
"No, of course it's not true," I answered honestly.
"Then, why was he over here? What did you guys do," he asked me.
"He wanted to come inside. We didn't do anything," I began to explain. "He was over at the Gallagher's with Debbie when he saw me. I let him come over and he met my aunt and got scared off. Tucker, who's been saying this?"
"Everyone," Tucker told me. "I just wanted to make sure it wasn't true."
"Well it's not," I all of a sudden felt like getting defensive.
"Okay, okay. I believe you," he said, putting his hands up in defense. "Now, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"
I began to tell Tucker everything. Every single thing that's happened since we've stopped talking. Well, since I stopped talking to him.
By the end of my whole explanation, I burst out into tears. He pulled me into his chest and began to rub my back.
"I-I don't-" I began, but he just interrupted me.
"Shh," he said, "Just relax. Don't talk. Relax."
And I stayed in his arms, sobbing into his chest until he had to go back home.
-
a/n: so, here is the chapter that has basically made up the title of the story.
this wasn't how i originally planned for it to go, but i honestly have no idea how i would've gotten to the point where i wanted to be. so, you'll have to settle for this.
lol i love you guys so much! thank you all for 12k!! that is AMAZZZZZZZING ❤️