SUMMERTIME SADNESS P.2.
It was a few months later that you finally jumped back into Tommy's life down the back alley of a local pub. There was irritation in his eyes, his jaw tense and face flushed. You stood across from him, a cigarette hanging from your lips as you observed him fiddle with the wedding ring on his finger. Tommy had believed that he was over you and your seducing antics but the moment he saw you lingering in the corner of the pub, laughing and talking to another man, the rage and anger built up. He had no reason to be green-eyed, he was a married man with a wife at home, but it didn't stop him from storming over and demanding that he saw you outside straight away.
"Not living up to your expectations?" you finally asked, referring to what you had said to him on the day of his engagement party. Tommy eventually looked at you and blinked a few times, to some extent not believing that you were there. Your hair was designed into big bouncy curls, your lips painted red and the tight dress that you wore was unacceptable, but he didn't care. When he didn't reply, you sighed and took a drag of the cigarette before continuing. "So, how's married life?"
"How's your boyfriend?" he murmured causing you to snicker.
"Tommy Shelby, are you jealous?" He raised one eyebrow, there was no point denying it. "He's not my boyfriend, I only met him tonight. Where's your wife?"
"You looked pretty cosy, anyone would think that you and he are fucking."
"Jealousy doesn't suit you."
"Can't be helped," he said. Tommy stifled a laugh before standing up straight, his body looming over your small physique.
"How do you think I felt? I was the other woman for nearly a year," you snapped back, taking Tommy off guard for a moment.
"You loved it," he stated. He wasn't wrong, there was something thrilling about sneaking around with an engaged man, especially as it was Thomas Shelby, but it didn't stop the bitter feelings that you had whenever the thought of him and Grace came to your mind. You were almost frustrated at how calm Tommy had become, acting as if there wasn't any unanswered feelings and issues. His body posture allowed you to know that he was no longer angry, still jealous, but he had calmed down slightly after learning that you didn't know the man. "Didn't you?" he asked, taking a step forward and placing his hand on your cheek.
"You keep avoiding my questions, where's your wife?"
"At home, waiting for me probably or doing some business, who knows?"
"Do you not think you should go home and be with her?"
"I could be with you."
"Yeah?" You stood tossed the cigarette on the ground and removed Tommy's hand from your cheek, ignoring the way his skin felt on yours after so long. "Well, I don't want to be with you." It was all lies, and Tommy could sense it, but he nodded slowly and allowed you to leave, his eyes not leaving your body until you had turned the corner and gone home.
+++
The following day in the afternoon, a heavy knock brought you away from the morning newspaper. A smile rose to yours lips, knowing full well that it was Tommy who had come over to see you. He couldn't keep anyway, no matter how much he tried. The 'relationship' that the two of you shared was backwards and forwards, a catastrophe and so much more but there was something there, deep down you both knew that it would never end between the two of you.
"Twice in the space of twenty-four hours, how lucky am I?" A grin was on your face as you leaned on the door frame, a cup of tea in your hand.
Tommy chucked lowly and nodded his head towards the cup of tea. "Do you have any of that going spare?"
You invited him in before walking over the kitchen, moving to pour Tommy a drink. "Before you got married, you would come over here and ask for a Whiskey, not a cup of tea. Has married life tamed you?"
"Before I got married, I would have come over here and took you to straight to the bedroom, thing's change."
"No, you've just got boring." You slammed the cup of tea down on the table, harder than anticipated, the tea spilling slightly onto the tablecloth. "What do you want, Tommy?"
"To catch up, is that an issue?"
"It is when you interrupted me reading the newspaper, I was reading a good article."
"And I'm the boring one?" he teased with a smirk. "Is that my shirt?" he asked, pointing over to the pile of wet washing that was drying. A blush rose to your cheek as you looked down at the cup of tea, your mind going back to the time that you and Tommy were nearly caught, and he had to rush out into the cold winter air in hardly any clothing. His shirt had remained in your wardrobe for months until you finally decided to wear it as a reminder of what could have been.
"No, it's this lads that I've been seeing," you joked, enjoying as Tommy turned to look at you with raised eyebrows.
"He has expensive taste," he replied, catching on to the sarcasm.
"Shame his taste in women is poor. I mean, apart from me." Tommy stayed silent after your remark, mentally debating what he wanted to do. "Does your wife know that you're here?"
"I told her that I was doing business."
"Do you ever feel guilty, Tom?" His nickname brought back memories - the sound of you breathing his name as you came in the hallway of his house during the engagement party. It had only been a few months, but it felt like an eternity.
"All I feel is regret," he answered honestly.
"Wow, was I that much of a mistake?" you said with a scoff. Tommy shook his head rapidly and leaned forward so his eyes were staring straight ahead into your own. He reached over and placed his hand over your own before sighing.
"I don't regret what happened, I regret not making you mine when I had the chance."