"You look lovely," Kelsey complimented her daughter, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.
Toni gave her mom a small smile, stepping into the house. Her mother invited her over for and impromptu lunch. Pesto and cheese toast was always Toni's favorites and she wanted to spend time with her mom.
They made themselves comfortable at the table while Kelsey had the bread in the toaster oven. "I have another appointment today," Toni stated, her voice hollow compared to how she used to be. "That's great! I was wondering when you'd be going again. Will you know the gender?"
"Yes."
"Which do you want? A boy or a girl?"
Toni thought but in her mind, she knew it didn't matter. Either way it'd be loved by her and neglected by it's 'father'.
"Either one sounds fine."
"What about Kyle? Does he want a boy?"
"Kyle doesn't even want kids," Toni mumbled. Kelsey frowned, noticing the change in Toni's posture.
"Has he told you this?" "Yes, more than once." And not just verbally. Toni shuddered at the thought of Kyle being aggressive with her. Even now that she was four months pregnant he still hit her. She's never told anyone because Kyle made it known that if she did there'd be major consequences.
She'd yell that she couldn't magically reverse her pregnancy and when she was still in her first trimester he'd threaten to make her miscarry.
Toni didn't know how her parents couldn't see Kyle for who he really was and just figured that he was good at hiding that part of himself.
"He'll change his mind once he sees the baby." "I hope so."
While they were eating her father came home from work for his lunch break. He saw the two in the kitchen and greeted them with a curt nod. "Don't you have an appointment, Antonia?"
"Yes, in a couple hours." "You should go now since the specialist is pretty far away."
She just nodded, keeping her word content low with him. She's still not speaking with him after all these months.
Toni waved by at her mother and made her way out of the house. She got in the car she only got a few weeks ago and drove off. She was still new to the road since she got her license and every little movement made her nervous.
She didn't bother calling Kyle about her appointment because he was the one who set it up. He also made it very clear that he didn't want a girl. Toni felt trapped in her infested bubble with Kyle. She cried often and spent numerous nights with an icepack pressed to some parts of her body.
An hour later she was at the office and they did a routine checkup before asking her to wait for her doctor.
"Hello Mrs. Anderson, how are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Now," she said, reading over her chart, "we're here for a checkup and... possibility of the sex?" "Yes, ma'am." "Alright, if you could just lie down."
Toni got herself situated before lifting up her sweater. "It's mid-August, why are you wearing such winter clothing," Dr. Sully joked.
"No reason."
She put the cold gel against Toni's tummy and then spread it with the wand. There were a few moments of silence before a heart beat was heard. It was the third time she's heard it and it still amazed her.
"You see that right there?" The doctor asked.
"What?"
She pointed at the screen, "right there."
"Oh, yeah. What's that thing sticking out?"
"His penis" Dr. Sully giggled.
"A boy?" Toni smiled.
"Yup, a bouncing baby boy."
***
"Mom, I'm...I'm gonna go and visit Lun,a" She shakily spoke through the phone.
"Oh, honey, that's not a good idea. Your father and I wanted you to leave that life behind."
"But I haven't seen her in months and I want to spend time with her."
"Antonia-"
"Mom please. I just need a night." "A whole night?" "Yes, please." "And what will Kyle think?"
Angry, annoyed, over the top.
"He won't care. I already told him." Lie.
"Fine, but are you sure you don't want a driver? Parks wouldn't mind taking you."
She sighed and agreed, knowing she wouldn't win this with my mom.
Toni dropped her car off at her parents and met Parks, their driver, there. Parks was a middle-aged man with salt-pepper hair. Very handsome.
The drive was very long and Toni tried to keep a conversation with Parks. Her earlier excitement and the events of the day tired her out and she fell asleep in the car. She woke a few times do to motion sickness but she took deep breaths to get rid of her nausea.
When they arrived at the campus Toni put on her sunglasses and walked inside of the girls dorm but not before telling Parks that she planned on staying the night.
Even though Toni packed light she still had her mind set to stay as long as possible.
She went up to the familiar room and knocked on the door, praying that Luna would be here. The door opened and Luna stood there a moment with a tired look. Toni took off her sunglasses and Luna's eyes widened. "Toni!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her. She lightly laughed, gratefully hugging her back.
"How have you been?" she asked, her face buried in Toni's shoulder.
Toni sighed, "Sorry for myself."
Luna stepped away and scanned her eyes over her. "I've missed you," Luna croaked. Toni shook her head and whispered, "Please don't cry."
Luna led her in and they stood in the kitchen with glasses of water in their hands.
"I've been so worried about you. You haven't called and you don't answer your phone. I've emailed you, skyped you but I couldn't get ahold of you. I'm glad you came."
"My dad took everything away and I'm always alone. Unless Kyle comes home from work early I don't see anyone all day."
"Kyle?"
"My...um" Toni's lips trembled, not ready to say her next word because she knew it wasn't true. "My husband."
"Husband?" Luna whispered in shock. How could Toni have gone off and married, leaving all of them behind? Leaving Darren behind.
A tear fell from Toni's eye and ran down her cheek as she sniffled. "My dad made me marry him," she cried, letting the hot tears go freely. Luna took her glass and set it on the counter next to hers before taking Toni in her arms. "I couldn't even say no," she sobbed. "I don't want to live there. I wanted to be here with you."
"Sh, I know."
Toni pulled away and wiped her tears, smearing the makeup off of her cheek in the process. Luna gave her a wet cloth and helped Toni wipe the rest away.
Luna loved Toni's natural look but there were some misplacements on her cheek.
"Is he hitting you?" Luna murmured, her thumb skating across Toni's jaw.
"No, that's ridiculous," Toni said, swatting Luna' hands away.
"Then what is this, Toni," she snapped, angling Toni's head so the bruise caught the light. "I'm just clumsy," she retorted, taking her face out of Luna's grip.
Over all of the commotion they didn't even hear the door open. Jeremy and Darren looked at each other once they heard Luna yell.
Luna lifted Toni's sweater and looked over her pregnant stomach before her eyes landed on yet another bruise on her side.
"He's beating you," she nearly cried out. "You're pregnant and he's beating you!"
Toni slapped her hand away and pushed her before yanking down her sweater. "Stop it!"
"Toni."
She snapped her head to the side and met eyes with Darren. She whimpered and stepped back.
Darren looked around and saw her bag at her feet. "Are you staying? I-I mean, are you coming back?"
She shook her head, "No."
Stares of longing were passed between the two and Toni hated herself for 'choosing' Kyle instead standing up for the one she loved.
"We're glad you're here...to visit," Jeremy spoke up. Toni looked back at Luna who had tears in her eyes.
"Don't cry," she whimpered.
"How am I not supposed to cry when my best friend doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
"That's not true and you know it." "How am I supposed to take it then?"
"I...I never wanted to leave." "I know but you went and got married and...You're not happy."
"Married?" Darren whispered.
"I came the first chance I got," Toni said, trying to block the hurt in Darren's voice. "I've been trapped in that house for months and now that I'm here you're gonna judge me?"
"You're prgenant-"
"I was pregnant before I left!"
"No! I mean you're pregnant and in an abusive relationship!"
"You know what," Toni said, picking up her bag and putting it on her shoulder. "this was a mistake. I'm gonna go."
She paced out of the kitchen, pass the two guys, before leaving out of the door and down the hallway.
"Toni wait!"
She wanted to go faster but knew that Darren's voice was holding her back. Darren grabbed her by the arm and turned her around, pressing her against the wall.
"Don't leave like that," he murmured, looking down at her but she was too nervous to meet his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his nose into her hair. "Just let me hold you."
Toni sighed and dropped her bag before wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"It's been so boring without you here," he hollowly laughed.
"I'm sorry."
He took a deep breath and stepped away from her, letting his arms hang at his sides. The hurt in his eyes made Toni hurt even more and when he took her left hand she nearly sobbed.
His thumb grazed over the ring, and he gulped down his sorrow. "I don't love him," Toni whispered, taking her hand from his.
"Then why...why are you with him."
"My dad-"
"My god, Toni. Are you gonna let your dad decide everything for you?"
"No, I-"
"You can't be there if you're putting yourself in danger," he pleaded, laying his hand on Toni's belly. She gasped and tried to move back, only pressing herself further into the wall.
That was the first time she felt a kick.
"Toni..."
"Darren, you should've never waited for me," she rushed out.
"What-"
"You should've gone to LA instead of waiting on me to come back."
"I made that decision and I'm not going back on it. I still have hope..."
"Hope for what? That I'm gonna stay? News flash Darren, I'm not staying!"
She breathed deeply, hot tears flowing down her cheeks.
"I can't stay. You have a life and you should go on with it. Without me."
"So you're gonna be with this guy even though you're pregnant with someone else's baby?"
"Yes..."
He bit his lip and looked down at the ground. "Does he even know?"
"No," she whispered. A tear fell from his eye, and she had to force herself to look away. She grabbed her bag and rummaged through it and pulled out a copy of the sonogram.
She gave it to him with shaky hands and breathed out relief when he took it.
"It's a boy."
He faintly smiled and ran fingers smoothly over the picture, "A boy," he repeated.
"He's gonna look just like you," Toni awed. He lightly laughed, "I doubt it."
She reached her hand up and stroked his cheek, making him look into her eyes. "I'm sure of it." She leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth.
"You don't have to go," he choked out, "you can't."
She let out a shaky and unsure breath before softly saying, "I'm so sorry."
He blinked a few times and reached out his arm to give her back the copy. She shook her head, "Keep it."
She turned and kept down the hallway but smiled when she thought of her parting line.
She looked over her shoulder, glad to see him still there, and said, "I'll be cheering for you."
***
Somehow Parks knew she'd be coming back so when she got in the car they set home.
It was nearly two in the morning once she got back and she prepared for Kyle's temper. Yet, no matter what she expected, Kyle always found a way to surprise her.
She thanked Parks and grabbed her bag before getting out of the car. Without making a sound she grabbed the spare key under the flower pot and unlocked the door.
The only sound she heard was of her heartbeat but when she heard a soft click and the dark room light up, she knew she was caught.
"Where have you been?"
Another surprise. Kyle was drunk.
"I was visiting a friend," she softly said, trying to coo him into leaving her alone.
"At two in the morning?" he lazily laughed.
"We got caught up in conversation and we lost track of time" she easily lied.
He clumsily stood up and paced towards her, leaving the empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. His face hardened as he pushed her up against the wall. "Why don't I believe you?" he growled like the animal he is.
"You're drunk, babe. Come on, let's go to bed."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
She flinched away from his harsh tone and set a soft hand on his cheek, "I'm not. You look like you've had a rough day and I want you to rest."
He slapped her hand away and grumbled a fine before leaving upstairs. Toni was very relieved and even rubbed over her tummy to tell her baby it was safe.
She followed behind him up the steps to their bedroom as he shed piece by piece of clothing.
She closed the bedroom door behind them and she turned to the ensuite when- Smack!
"You think I'm stupid!"
Toni nearly fell, stumbling back a few times until her back pressed against the wall. "N-no, I never said that" she trembled, pressing a shaking hand against her cheek.
"But you were thinking it!"
"Kyle please-"
"Shut up!" he yelled, "I come home and there's no dinner in the oven or a bath waiting and you have the nerve to beg me to...to what, Antonia? Tell me what you want so badly."
For you to go, drop dead.
To stop hitting me and care about the child I'm carrying.
To stop losing your temper for once!
"I just want you to sleep," she whispered.
"Since you care so much," he sarcastically laughed and got into the bed. Toni righted herself and quietly changed into her night clothes.
She crawled into bed and met eyes with Kyle's cold ones. "Keep me warm" he mumbled, roughly pulling her to him. With her back to his front she covered her face and silently cried.
At least in his slumber she can express her feelings and even shed a tear.
"Shh," he snapped.
Or so she though...