I was beginning to regret telling him. He just kept on staring at me with a load of sappy devotion like he was about to burst! It was like he couldn't believe that I was here.
And there was the questions. Endless questions that seemed to go on forever.
"How did you get so strong?" Was his latest question.
"I trained." I replied with a sigh.
There was a pause, and I leant my head back against the wall, relieved that I had some time to myself in my mind.
It didn't last long.
"What really happened to you?" He asked me.
I sighed, I guess this part was pretty unavoidable, and he had done well to hold it back for more than 10 minutes since he figured it out.
"I dont even know where to start."
"Why did you run?" he asked, his voice trembled, like he thought it was because of him.
"Everyone was staring... I didn't know why... It was like they were digusted with me, i couldn't handle it.... I had to get away." I took a deep breath, "So I ran, i saw my reflection in some water and realised why everyone was so shocked, I came back, I didn't see the signs... all I saw was my pack dead on the ground, then Blaine came, I didn't know him but my wolf seemed to. He helped me in many ways, he helped me controll my... gifts."
"right... your gifts. Uh, how many of those do you have... exactly?" He asked, curiosity leaking into his voice.
"I'm not entirely sure... they just tend to appear when I need them."
"When you need them?" He sounded wary.
"Yeah well," I stopped to chuckle before continuing, "this one time a group of rogues came while the families here were playing in the lake, they thought they could defeat us in the water, they had come from the south where they had plenty of aqauatic training-"
"Wait, there are families here?" Axel burst in, sounding surprised.
"Well yeah... it is a pack" He nodded, but still looked a little surprised, "Well anyway, I saw them approaching and I got into the water, I took a deep breath and swam pretty low so i could see what they were doing from below, turns out a few of the rogues had the same idea and they managed to drag me further down and I lost my breath." I looked towards Axel, shock was evident on his features "In the shock of it all I accidentally breathed in some water, but... as it turned out I could go without oxygen for a pretty long time, even with all the water in my throat."
"Guess i don't have to worry about you drowning then," He said, not even a hint of a joke in his voice.
I frowned, "You wouldn't have to worry about that anyway, and that wasn't even the best part." I shook my head, "So as I could fuction in the water, and the rogues began losing their own breath, I killed the ones around me, but then I looked up and saw that one of them was about to grab this little girl, Stacy. I couldn't do anything before they had pulled her under, they weren't exactly doing anything to her, just drowning her, which was good because all of a sudden this... burst of energy came out of me and well, it went to all my pack member struggling in the water, and then they had the same kind of resistance that I had, so instead of my pack dying.... the rogues drowned instead."
He was looking at me, I could see something swimming in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what it was. "You care about your pack?"
I frowned deeply at him, "Why the hell wouldn't I? These people have given me everything."
He looked down for a moment, "I guess, but this isn't really what you want."
"What?" I snapped, shocked that he would think that.
"Avery," I frowned at the name, but let him continue, "I know you, you're the type to cry when a duck falls over, you love helping out, being with your family, you love life! You can't even hurt a fly!"
I was shock still for a moment, before I looked up to him (he was at least a foot taller than me) "Listen here, and listen closely." I seethed, "My name is Skylar, Avery is a dead girl that was no use to anyone! I hate to tell you Axel, but I am not that weak little girl. I am Skylar Williams, can't hurt a fly? I've killed so many people and you've seen me do it with your own eyes!"
"She might be a 'dead girl' but believe it or not she is in there somewhere! I know because I see her in you every day! In the way you always fidget with your hair when your happy, the way you smile like you're the happiest girl in the world, and I know she is in there because I loved her, and seeing you like this ..." he paused, looking me up and down, his face fell as he did so, i narrowed my eyes waiting for him to speak, "Well it makes me love you even more."
My mouth fell open, "What?"
Before I could say anything else Axel grabbed me and brought his mouth to mine, kissing me slowly but passionately with desperation.
I couldn't help the way my body reacted to him, my mouth moved hungrily against his, seemingly even more desperate than he was, before i knew what was happening my hands were tangled in his hair, gently tugging on his strands of golden silk. His hands wound around my back and pulled me closer.
No! What was I doing?
I froze, my hands stopped, and before he could do anything I had them out infront of me shoving him away.
"No no no!" I shouted, trembling, "This is not happening!" my hands went up to my hair, dragging it back before letting it fall, hugging my arms to myself.
I took a moment to look up at Axel, he looked hurt, "Skylar..." He reached out to touch me.
I jumped back, "This doesn't change anything!"
I turned and ran, before long I could hear the screeching siren in my head trying to keep me close to Axel. I ignored it and carried on running. Axel was nowhere near me, and I could sense that he was far away, trying to find me but not succeeding.
That was when I let myself go, I dropped to the ground in tears. Why was this happening to me? Why did I have to react like that, why did I have to hurt him?
Why couldn't he have found me back when I came back to the pack all those years ago?
I didn't want to hurt him. He see's the good in me that nobody else does, I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to be selfish and accept him, I wanted to spend my life with him and all that crap but I couldn't!
I wouldn't do that to him.
I wasn't good for him.
I had composed myself by the time Axel found me. He seemed realieved to be back, he breathed a sigh of relief when he was close enough to me for the sound to stop.
He seemed like he was holding himself back from hugging me, when he stepped too close I glared at him, however much it hurt me to do so.
But I only had to wait out these two last days, and then it would be over.
"Skylar?" Axel said cautiously.
"What?" I snapped back.
"Sorry if I upset you it's just... I don't want to reject you, i take it back and I'm sorry. I want to be with you, I want to mate you."
I said nothing, just stared at him while he waited for a response, "You don't need to apologise." I began to say, and seeing his happy face made me want to run over and kiss him again, "Nothing happened." I said, as I watched his face fall.
Looking down, I backed away, turning and walking, he trailed after me like a lost puppy, like he wasn't sure what to say.
"Why don't you want me?" He asked after a while in a small voice that made me want to take back everything i'd said to him.
"Axel." I warned.
"I deserve to know." He tried again, "Please."
"Axel you are a pain in my ass!" I whipped around facing him, surprise was etched onto his features before he composed himself.
"I can be."
"Axel I swear to god." I replied, not impressed.
"You could just accept me and-" he started
"no." I cut him off.
"And you could come to my pack-" He suggested.
"No!" I turned around again, "I would never leave me pack! And you would never leave yours!" That's just how things are Axel. You belong there, and I belong here. It would never work."
He was silent after that.
I think that he wasn't sure what to say. What argument could convince either of us to leave our packs.
He knew that I was right.
I would never leave my pack, he would never leave mine.
He would not be welcome here, and I would not be welcome there.
It didn't make any sense for us to be together, and it never would. Maybe it used to, but times have changed, we are different people now.
And that's the unfortunate truth about life. It's all fair if you think about it. Why? Because life's unfair to everyone.