Alicia's P.o.v -
- flash back -
"Ow" I complained grabbing onto my lower abdomen softly.
"Aren't you happy we showed up?" Chris whispered just as Ryan and Ashli sat down at the table with us.
"Yes of course we couldn't miss this you know how upset both Austin and Nicole would have been" I answered moving slightly in my seat.
"Hi Licia how are you feeling?"Ashli questioned locking her hand with Ryan's.
"The baby is defiantly kicking my ass but I wouldn't have it any other way" I half smiled feeling chris place his hand on my bare thigh.
"I'm so sorry we are late !!!" Alexandria screamed running in dragging cody along with her.
"Relax you aren't late , Mona isn't here and she is always late" I mumbled and he wrapped his arms around me.
"If Mona is here before you that's when you know you are late" Ryan added taking a sip from is beer.
"I know you are not feeling well we won't stay much longer alright" he sighed and I recieved another pain.
"Still not feeling well huh?" Alex frowned slightly.
"Yes doctor said it's normal during this trimester to be the worst since my body isn't use to all this and also because it is my first pregnancy" I explained seeing Nicole and Austin making their way to us.
"Does Austin and Nicole know?" Alex spat out stupidly throwing me under the bus.
"Does Austin and Nicole know what?!" she qustioned as Austin slung his arm around her waist.
"This is why I didn't want to say anything this is your guy's day not ours" I mumbled placing my hand on the small bump.
"Come on Alicia! tell us !" she squealed placing her hands on my shoulders.
"No really guys it can wait today is all about you two , you just got freaking married!" Chris testified.
"Seriously common nothing is more special then actually being called Nicole Barnes , now tell us!!!"she argued now locking her hands with Austin's.
"Well I'm pregnant" I chuckled watching her eyes get wide and she had now began to jump up and down with exciement.
"I can't belive it Christopher you are going to be a dad!!" she squealed hugging both of us.
"Congrats you two" Austin added hugging us now as well.
"How far along?" she asked looking down at my stomach.
"Four months and three weeks" Chris answered placing his hands on the bump.
"Oww" I cried now putting my hands on top of his large ones.
"You okay?" he asked this time with a hint of more worry in his voice this time.
"I need some water or something" I mumbled getting up slowly feeling even more pain in my abdomen and now my lower back.
"Is everything alright?" Nicole questioned as both Cody and Chris went off to get me water.
"Yea , the doctor said it is completely normal for me to have pain like this" I lied now beginning to panic myself.
I met eyes with Chris as he made his way back quickly to me.
I watched as he went to adjust my chair and he had gone into a complete panic.
"Baby you are bleeding" he mumbled breaking halfway into his sentence fumbling with his words.
"We have to go to the -" I managed too get out before I was cut off by another sharp pain.
I watched as Chris had become frozen in one zone.
He shook uncontrollably trying to pull his blazer off of his body.
He had finally succeeded to get it off and tied it around my waist under my small bump.
He then proceeded to drag me out of the hall where Austin and Nicole's party had been going on.
I had been in too much shock to even realize what was occurring.
My body had shut off my emotions.
The drive to the hospital had been one huge blur to me.
Things had finally kicked in once we reached inside.
"My wife she's in a lot of pain and she's pregnant , we were at a wedding and she began to bleed , she needs to be seen I have no idea what's going on!" he cried holding me tight in his arms.
"What's her name?" she sighed typing away at her computer.
"Alicia Taylor , I mean Ramirez" he stuttered.
"We will try and get her in as soon as possible - " she tried to get out just as he had cut her off.
"No you don't understand there could be something seriously wrong with her and our baby!" he screamed and I could see his eyes now beginning to water.
"Baby look at me It's okay" I managed to get out cupping his cheek.
"We are going to be okay" I lied putting his hand on my little bump for some reassurance.
"Let's go sit down and wait" I continued allowing some tears to fall myself as I wiped his away.
"Okay" he let out guiding me through the people.
We sat down and he wrapped his arms around me and immediately lied his head above my stomach.
I closed my eyes slowly running my fingers through his hair and the pain had continued to get worse.
The light snores of Chris filled my ears as I sat there loosing it.
Loosing my baby.
The doctors continued to tell me that it was normal even though I damn well knew that it wasn't the case.
I closed my eyes as I continued to receive more and more pain.
I could feel my tears breaking from my skin before I looked down at my thighs that were now completely covered in blood as Chris still lied fast asleep.
"Alicia Ramirez" they called just as I began to shake Chris lightly.
He popped up quickly "what !? what happened!!?" he mumbled rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"We lost the baby" I answered and his eyes widen.
"No no baby what are you talking about that haven't even seen you yet?" he answered doing whatever it took to convince himself otherwise.
"Alicia Ramirez?" they called once again , Chris waved her down and now had tried to pull me up.
"Chris look" I mumbled wiping the blood from the side of my thigh to show him.
I placed my bloody hand over my bump beginning to cry now.
"Nurse please come!" he screamed pushing my hair behind my ear with one hand and putting his hand over mine with the other.
"What seems to be the problem?" she questioned right before I showed her that I was now bleeding out.
"Oh no - can you get her in a room immediately?!" she asked looking at Chris and he looked towards me for the okay.
"Baby I'm going to pick you up alright" he explained now placing his arm around my back and now under my legs.
He picked me up without any hesitation and began to run following the nurse.
"I'm so sorry" I managed to get out in between cries.
"Sorry for what baby?" he questioned and he had now been crying as well.
"For not being able to protect our baby" I cried clutching onto his dress shirt.
"Alicia.." was all he managed to say in at moment.
- end of flash back -
I sat there replaying the horrible event all over again. I had so many questions.
So many questions as in why this happened to me.
"JUST WHY!!" I screamed getting up and grabbing the empty vase that once held flowers.
I threw it without any hesitation.
The sounds of the glass breaking echoed throughout the room.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD!!" I went on now beginning to break everything in my sight.
That's when the sound of Chris heavy footsteps had caught my attention.
He had ran in without any hesitation trying to stop me from doing anything stupid.
"Alicia! Alicia stop!" he shouted grabbing me by my waist.
"ALICIA RELAX!!" he screamed making his grip around me tighter.
"Why" I cried falling into his arms.
"It's all my fault I should I have went to the doctor sooner , I should have done something" I mumbled letting all the tears fall from my eyes.
"Alicia don't say that it's not your fault , you can't keep blaming yourself for listening to what the doctor said" he explained as his chin rested on my head and I held onto his torso tight.
"Then why did you go to her" I questioned pulling away from his grip and looking up at him.
His blue eyes carried a glossy red film over them as he continued to cry to now.
I hadn't cried this hard since the miscarriage.
Something that nobody knew was I went on to have multiple miscarriages.
Since the doctors told me how unlikely it was to get pregnant , or even be able to carry a child ever again.
How my little spect was my only chance and it was taken.
That mine and Chris's plan to have kids could never be a possibility.
"You can't even answer me" I scoffed remaining still close to his unclothed body.
"Tell me ! tell me you fucking went to her -!" I shouted angrily just as he cut me off.
"HOW COULD YOU THINK I WOULD TRY AND BRING ANOTHER CHILD INTO THIS FUCKING WORLD WHEN I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT THE ONE I WANTED THE MOST! FUCK YOU FOR THINKING THAT ALICIA! SHE WAS A MISTAKE !! THAT FUCKING BABY SHES CARRYING NOW WAS A MISTAKE!! BUT I HAVE TO OWN UP FOR MY MISTAKES AND TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY! SO DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT I WENT TO HER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT!" he screamed pulling away from me.
"Chris.." I sighed trying to grab onto his arm.
"I wanted that baby too you know! I wanted to hear them call me dad , and I wanted to be able to teach them how to play baseball! I wanted to do everything in my power to be the best father could to that baby and I wanted to be able to have baby with you" he got out sitting onto the bed.
"Don't ever think that I don't feel as horrible as you do for not being able to protect our baby" he continued as I forced him to lay down.
"What are you doing?" he questioned as I pulled the blanket over us.
I scooted closer to him yanking his arm over my body.
I reached over shutting the light off.
"Alicia.." he sighed kissing my hand before inner locking them. I shut my eyes quickly falling fast asleep.