Tobias and I fell asleep around the same. It startled me when I first woke up, framing his face with my hands in panic, but he was still breathing and seemed to be fine, even the color had returned to his face, so I just dropped my face against his chest and fell back to sleep for a few more hours. The next time I woke, Tobias was raking his fingers through my hair.
He was talking with Bryn, who had taken a seat to the left of the bed, and I had to keep myself still so I could pick out their words. Unfortunately they were talking in German, so I only caught a few words like "funeral" and "angry".
My body felt heavy while my head felt light, my vision blurring a bit as I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, Tobias' hand squeezing my shoulder, "Good morning, darling."
"Hm," I rubbed my eyes with the base of my wrist and looked directly at Tobias, "How's your head?" I asked before anything else, and Tobias smiled.
"No headache yet, but there's still the rest of the day," he sighed, his eyes shifting to the side, "They're holding a briefing in a bit, I was just waiting for you to wake up so we could join them."
"Oh," I breathed, as I'd momentarily forgotten about the briefing, but Tobias kept me from panicking by pulling me closer and kissing me quickly on the lips.
"Change your clothes. You're still wearing what you wore yesterday, the coat is damp even."
I straightened and felt the front of my coat, wincing at the slightly dampened but oddly warm feeling. It was kind of gross, and I was annoyed at myself for not realizing it was still kind of wet. I probably got the comforter wet too. Maybe that was why I felt so heady, because I was getting sick. God I hoped not, I didn't do well when I was sick.
Part of me wanted to take a warm shower before getting dressed, but decided to save it for later and just changed into drier, warmer clothes. My throat started to hurt when I left the bathroom and lifted an arm to cough into, wincing.
"Carter, are you getting sick?" I heard Tobias ask before his hand was on my shoulder, another hand holding my face, and I grumbled.
"I'm fine."
"You're forehead is warm," Tobias argued, and I shook my head.
"It's nothing. I can't get sick right now. I have to be at the briefing like everyone else."
"He's right," Bryn offered, "It'll be fine. Even if he's getting sick, he can rest when this is over."
Tobias sighed, looking fully against the idea, but he didn't complain or argue, instead putting an arm around my shoulders to lead me towards the door, "Fine, but I want you to stay in bed after this until you're feeling better."
"I'm feeling fine, really."
That might've been a lie, but I really couldn't afford to miss this. They were going to bring up Cormac, and I was the only one who really knew how he died or why. They needed the information I had. Even if explaining it would be difficult. I hated it, but it seemed like my time had run out. I needed to tell the rebellion what I knew about the new government.
I clung to Tobias' hand as we entered the conference room, thankfully empty for the most part, though Josie and Logan were there, standing on the far side of the room talking in sign language. Josie was moving his hands insanely fast, and though I didn't read sign language myself, I was pretty sure he was cursing, if his expression was any indicator.
Whatever they were arguing about, it couldn't have been good, but I tried to block their presences as I sat down to wait for the rest to show up. I couldn't help but wonder how this would go, making guesses and trying to figure out what I was going to say. Unfortunately for me, my thoughts continued to think of worst case scenarios that ended with me getting shot, so I decided as long as that didn't happen, it would be a good meeting.
"It was a complete and utter failure of a mission," Josie was happy to start the meeting, arms folded and head bowed, "At first it was going okay, until Oliveira decided he was better than us and tried to leave. It got worse when he demanded Manuela follow only for him to straight refuse," he lifted his head to glare at Tobias, "Maybe if we'd given the fucker back then we could've negotiated, huh?"
"I don't negotiate if a human life is the price," Tobias stated simply, then looked over at Kailas, "When it was made clear Diego would be staying with the Syndicate, Oliveira lost it and pulled a gun. Naturally everyone reacted by pulling their respective weapons to counter, and it would have been either a shootout or a stand down, but luckily a bomb went off and the roof collapsed. Unfortunately two of the soldiers we brought along were crushed under the rubble, as was Oliveira."
"Dead before we could get him to sign the alliance," Josie sighed in frustration, running a hand over his face, "We were trapped in the warehouse until Logan broke down part of the rotting wall. We would have suffocated or been crushed if he hadn't of shown up," he dropped his hand, glaring at the table, "Imagine our surprise when we got out only to realize the Asper weren't the ones who set the fucking explosives."
"To be fair we should have known that," Tobias offered, "Why would the Fer-de-Lance bomb themselves?"
"You're not helping the situation," Bryn hissed under his breath, and Kailas waved a hand.
"What happened then?"
"Con Rồng," Demi answered before anyone else could speak, and I glanced over at him, standing next to Kailas' seat, leaning against it so he was essentially sitting against the arm, his arms folded and his head bowed, not bothering to lift his head as he added, "There's no one else it could have been."
The room was silent for have a second before Kailas continued, "Who shot Cormac?" he asked, "Did he die before the bomb?"
"I don't know," Josie stated, glaring at me with a nod, "ask him."
I lifted my head higher as everyone looked over at me, tensing up under their stared and pressing my lips together, ducking my head to hide my eyes, "Ba- Blu... Blu shot him," there were curses, and I felt Tobias' hand on my back, "It's my fault, he-."
"Yea, it is your fault," Josie quickly interrupted me, and I gaped at my hands as his next words cut through me, "That psycho came looking for you, not the rest of us. What was it again? Thee leader of the Con Rồng, and your connection to him? You never did tell us, but I think we need to know, now, unless you want me to tell everyone for you?"
I couldn't blame his anger at me, really. After getting Cormac killed, after learning who I really was. He was taking all his anger at the Con Rồng and at Bay and throwing it onto me because of my connection to them. At a psychological standpoint, it made perfect sense that he hated me this much, and I pinched my eyes closed in preparation for more of that hate.
"What are you talking about?" Kailas demanded, and Josie happily answered.
"Carter here, the enemy we've been harboring and protecting, is more connected to the Con Rồng than we thought. He's not just some high ranking weapons expert and trainer, he's the younger brother of the sociopath who runs the entire thing."
I could feel something in my chest crack as the room hushed, opening my eyes and peering up through my bangs. Everyone was staring at me with wide eyes, but Dakota was glancing off to the side, and when I followed his gaze I saw he was sharing a look with Demi. While everyone else in the room was speechless from shock, they didn't look even a bit surprised.
"Brother," Dakota repeated, still looking off to the side, "You mean Blu's? Are you sure? I mean, I've seen Blu, and they don't exactly look alike."
"Logan said when he showed up he called Carter his brother," Josie explained, folding his arms again and shutting his eyes, "I trust Logan, so yea, I'm sure."
"Maybe they're related by marriage?" Orion offered, and Lailani leaned forward.
"I don't see how it matters! He's clearly a magnet of bad luck, if we continue to help him then the Con Rồng will just come down on us harder than before!"
"Maybe we can give him back," a new voice suggested, and immediately the table began to hum with voices, suggestions, wondering what to do with me.
"He's that connected with the enemy, we should throw him in a prison cell!"
"Just give him back, maybe we can make a deal with Blu!"
"I can't fucking believe we've been willingly harboring the harbinger of the end of the fucking world!"
"Maybe if we kill him it'll satisfy the devil and the world will go back to normal."
I felt dizzy, my breathing was coming out shorter and shorter, hands shaking, and Tobias was getting more and more tense by the second, finally snapping as he abruptly stood up, prompting the rest of the room to quiet.
"Might I remind you that the person you are talking about is my husband. If anyone in this room, anyone in this rebellion, tries to harm my husband in any way, either physically or intentionally attempting to return him to the people who nearly took his life, if anyone here so much as mentions putting him in a position of danger, then I will immediately end all support that I have given you up to this point, and return to Austria, cutting all ties with you, and the rest of this country."
No one spoke, they looked speechless, some looked embarrassed, Bryn lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, and Kailas slowly stood from his seat.
"If anyone in this room holds negative opinion of Carter, please stand and leave the room."
I saw a few people scoff, like they were going to refuse to leave, until Demi pushed away from the chair and stood straighter. Immediately half the table stood up and shuffled for the door, heads bowed. Seeing so many people willingly leave... because they hated me...
"Lailani," Kailas addressed the woman with a soft voice, "You too."
She stared at him with a blank expression before shifting her eyes to me, and I tensed under the cold gaze as she stood up and turned, leaving the room without a word. In the end there were only a few of us still at the table, including, much to my surprise, Logan and Isagani.
"I apologize for that," Kailas said on a sigh, and Tobias sat back down, though the heavy look remained in his eyes as he folded his arms.
"You guys aren't leaving?" I heard Dakota ask, and lifted my gaze again to see he was speaking with Orion and Beckett.
"He did save your life," Orion argued, "Twice. I hate that sorry excuse for a government with a burning passion, but that doesn't mean I have to hate Carter," Beckett nodded his agreement, wincing when Orion abruptly continued, pointing across the table towards us, "Although I do seriously hate the Syndicate for harboring that piece of shit."
We all turned to look at Diego, who was pointing to himself, a look of false innocence on his face, "What did I ever do to you?"
"Let me shoot him," Orion insisted, standing, but Beckett and Dakota both grabbed one of his arms to pull him back into the seat as Kailas chided him.
"Manuela is no longer our concern, nor our responsibility," he said, sitting back down and letting everyone settle into a calm silence before starting again, "I understand that this is difficult for you, Carter, and if you want to take a bit more time then you're welcome, but this is a serious fact if it's true. The rebellion already have doubts about you, but if it came out that you were related to the man who runs the Con Rồng, tension might just get worse."
Tobias rubbed a hand down my back, but Bryn was the one to finally break my unease and desire to run and hide, "Telling them might help your position," he offered, "If you're useful, maybe the soldiers will leave your relation with that man be."
"If I'm useful," I repeated in a whisper, staring down for a long time before swallowing the lump in my throat, "We're related by marriage," I stated, "Bay and I. He's my older brother."
I lifted my head to watch the reactions, but they were essentially the same, and Demi muttered, looking of to thee side, "Figured it was something like that," he admitted, and Kailas looked up at him.
"You already knew?"
"I knew he had a deeper connection to Blu than I first assumed," Demi clarified, and Dakota hummed.
"We figured they were either childhood friends or family, but they don't look anything alike, so the whole family theory didn't last long."
"You knew too?" Cass asked the younger man, who nodded, and Cass held a hand up, "How? Intuition?"
"Dakota went rummaging through Carter's stuff," Demi revealed, and Dakota smacked his hands against the table-top.
"Hey you looked too!"
"We saw the picture of you and Blu in that locket," Demi said, looking directly at me, and I lifted a hand to my chest, surprised for half a moment when I didn't feel the pendant but calming down when I remembered I'd stopped wearing it.
"So it's true then," Isagani offered, "You're related to the leader of the Con Rồng."
"By marriage," I insisted, dropping my head again so I could stare at my hands, palms lifted up, "My mother died when I was still young, most of my memories of her are from her death. A few years after she passed away, my father met a woman from the United States. She was from a wealthy family and married into equal wealth, an heiress by reputation, with one failed marriage under her belt as well as a son. Her first husband, he wasn't a good man. Controlled her every move, neglected and emotionally abused their son, when she finally got out of it she moved as far away as she could and put a restraining order against him to make absolute certain he wouldn't come back into their lives.
"I'm not surprised she chose Wales of all places to move, honestly, barely anyone knows it even exists. You could ask a Brit if they knew where Wales was and they might get confused, God knows the Americans wouldn't know which country to turn at to even begin looking for us. She met my father there, they were together for a few months, maybe years, truth be told I didn't know my father was even seeing someone until he told me he was getting remarried.
"I met Bay at the wedding. I didn't like him much at first, but as the months passed I got used to him, got used to having a brother. The first few years with him and his mother were... normal. I think... I was around thirteen when she was murdered. Attacked in the middle of the street, raped, strangled. That's why Bay is so fascinated and obsessed with assault, because that's how his mother was killed."
I curled my fingers in towards my palms, "My father drank to drown his grief, became violent, but through it all Bay tried to protect me. The last time, my father might have killed me, but Bay... got him first. Killed my father and ran off with me. Injured, but he didn't take me to a hospital. Instead when I woke up I was in a house I didn't recognize, with two adults I'd never seen before."
"Vinet and Rupert," Demi helped, and I nodded.
"I honestly have no idea how, when, or where Bay met them, but they influenced him, took a mind already twisted up from abuse and trauma and made him so much worse. Rupert gave us guns and Vinet gave us information, they fueled Bay when he ranted about starting a war, gave him ideas and even supplied him with the means to go through with his ravings."
I paused there, taking a breath in, "Vinet had access to classified Russian documents and information. Alliances beyond the press, weapons... men of science and politics who had power," I lifted my head to look directly at Demi, "Vinet was the reason we found you," I revealed, but Demi didn't look even a little surprised, "She found your father first. Professor Hoàng Ennis Inou, a political scientist and teacher at the University in the town you grew up in. Through the classified files Vinet accessed we found confirmed documentation detailing an attempt at stabling the economy of both the United States as well as Russia. There were trade recommendations, tax cuts and tax increases, more funding to medical and educational branches and a cutback on military, and it could have worked," I shook my head, "Your father was brilliant."
There was something like fondness in Demi's eyes, but he quickly cast his gaze down so I wouldn't see it. I considered my next words before continuing, my eyes staying locked on Demi, as if he was the only one in the room. No, he wasn't, but he was the one person who needed to hear this. More than the rebellion, more than the Syndicate, Demi needed to know why Bay chose him.
"Bay thought if he could trick or manipulate him into joining our cause instead, then he could start the war he so desperately wanted. We came here to the states, tracked him down at his work, and Bay asked him to join us. Inou, for all his brilliance, made a stupid decision and laughed at Bay. He though Bay was just some stupid kid playing a prank, didn't take him seriously. Bay saw a family photo sitting on Inou's desk, and Vinet... she recognized your mother," Demi finally turned his head, eyes locking with mine, "I don't know the details of what she said to Bay, but they decided to go after your mother, thinking Inou would do just about anything to get his wife back.
"Vinet warned us it wouldn't be easy, that Lailani was possibly the strongest woman alive, but Bay just shrugged off her words. We stalked the house, waited, memorized Inou's schedule and waited until he was gone. Then that night... when you left the house with your friends. Lailani was alone in the house, Bay figured it was the perfect time to try and grab her, but at the last second Vinet changed her mind.
"She decided that while Lailani was a good captive, they wouldn't ever be able to subdue her, not in this life or the next. She was too skilled, too strong and trained... but a kid... a kid wouldn't have been able to fight back," pain crossed Demi's face, but I kept talking, "Vinet decided, you had the same blood as Lailani, the same potential, but your mind was a clean slate. Not only could we manipulate Professor Inou, but we could keep you, mold you into a mindless fighter we could use to start a war with.
"In the end, Bay forgot his original plan to manipulate your father and blackmail him. He was too distracted by the thrill of... having control over someone helpless. A few years passed and Vinet brought forward this memo from her intel in Russia, about a Professor Inou being featured in a political gathering. He was going to reveal all his plans and research, and we all knew it would work, which meant Bay's dream of a world war would be bust. So he sent an assassin to get rid of the road block," I whispered the last part and Demi turned, walking a few steps away before stopping, "The end of the world, this world, was not your fault," I said sternly, "You were a victim, and any guilt you feel is unwarranted. Victims should not have to feel guilt.
"This was my fault. The whole reason Bay wanted this world to be destroyed was because he was sick and tired of losing things he cared about. His father treated him like garbage from the moment he was born, and the one person who seemed to care about him, his mother, was murdered in a horrific way. A man he'd come to view as his father turned on the both of us, began to torture and beat me, and all he could think to do was kill him and take me somewhere safe. He started a world because he wanted to wash away all of the soiled people, all of the bad things, because he thought he was keeping me safe. He labelled himself as the ruler of this new world because he thought there was no one better to rebuild it, molding it in such a way that it would be safe for me.
"Now that I'm gone, Bay has no reason to rebuild. This broken world, in his eyes, shattered when I betrayed him, because I ripped out the final piece of human sanity he had left. I know Bay. With no one to protect, he won't care about what happens to the rest of the world, the survivors, the innocent. He'll set another fire, start another war, and this time he won't want to step in to take control after that war ends. He'll continue to add fuel to the flames until all this world is, is ash. Because he's lost his mind. Because he's demented and disturbed, and because I'm not there to stop him."
The room was about as quiet as a cemetery crypt, but I didn't remove my eyes from Demi as he kept his back to me, head bowed. He was silent for so long that when he finally spoke, I nearly jumped.
"That's why you stayed all those years, even after meeting Tobias," he stated, and my shoulders sagged in exhaustion.
"Yes," I agreed, "but not just that. I didn't just stay for Bay. I knew me being there kept him somewhat under control, kept him from losing control, so I stayed to make sure he didn't really hurt someone... but I also stayed to keep an eye on you," I laughed dryly, "You really think I wanted to take you from your home? Your friends? I didn't want that. I wanted to part of it, but I had no thoughts that were my own. At the time I was consumed with my own self-pity and deprecating thoughts. I hated everything, but nothing more than myself. I just wanted to stop breathing, and when I played a part in kidnapping you, my self-hatred just got so much worse.
"I detached myself from everything happening, I ignored you and what was happening to you, I told myself I didn't care, and every night I considered the pros and cons of killing myself. The only thing keeping me alive was the fact if I was gone, things would get so much worse for you. Then I met Tobias...," I trailed off, my mind wandering to that day.
Captured by the Syndicate, sitting in a chair with Klaus and Kiefer guarding the door as Adalwolf tried to check the injuries I'd sustained after falling on a case of guns in their warehouse. Tobias walking in, and my first thought being that I wanted to kick him as hard as I possibly could. It was amazing how things could change in just a few weeks of knowing him.
"I tried to look after you more after that," I admitted, "Though I'm sure I didn't do a good job of it. After Tobias and I managed to successfully get you away from the Con Rồng, I stayed to gather as much information as I could and sent it to Austria, to keep Tobias safe and ten steps ahead of Bay. There really wasn't any remarkable hidden secrets I found in all my years snooping around, no secret weapon or contingency plan, Bay was literally going with the flow and has no idea what he's even doing. That lack of planning will make him erratic and dangerous, especially now."
"So basically what he's been doing is going around eliminating threats that could put you in danger?" Cass asked, and I nodded slowly, dropping my eyes.
"Everything is on my shoulders. Every bomb that fell that started the war, every innocent life that was taken by Demi's hands, every death in the Rebellion and out of it, is my fault."
"You shouldn't give yourself so much credit," Demi decided, turning so he could glance back at me, "Victims shouldn't have to feel guilt."
I felt a knot tie in my throat, and the hand Tobias had kept securely against my back moved up, "We're done here for now," he decided, pushing his chair back and standing, "I hope this was satisfactory for you."
"I think we all understand a lot more now," Kailas promised.
Tobias set a hand on my shoulder to prompt me to stand, but immediately my vision blurred as a rush came over me. I could feel my knees buckling beneath me as I swayed to the side, remembering how awful I felt this morning, and the fact Tobias said I had a fever. It had probably gotten worse from all the stress.
I vaguely heard Tobias cry my name before I fell against someone, my mind barely registering a black shirt before my eyes closed and I fainted from the exertion on my mind while already suffering from a fever.