"I need to talk to you." Junmyeon spoke, and Chanyeol sighed in relief. Not like he was expecting someone to really attack him but he still startled.
Junmyeon's hair was messy, his eye bags were too big and his he was wearing his clothes from night before too. He looked like he didn't sleep at all.
"About what?"
Junmyeon let go of his forearm, like he forgot that he had even taken him by it.
He took a step back, looking at his own feet.
"What are you trying with Baekhyun?" he finally lifted his head up to meet Chanyeol's eyes, hoping that he could find an answer in them.
"W-what?" Chanyeol's heart started thumping and he felt like someone discovered some big, ugly secret about him. He didn't consider that a secret, mainly because he didn't think about it that way. He only thought of Baekhyun's lips and wanting to do it again.
He wasn't even sure what that thing with Baekhyun was, after all.
"I saw you two last night."
Uncomfortable silence filled the hallway.
"Oh." Chanyeol mouthed.
He had never felt guilty for kissing someone or even fucking them, but seeing disappointed in Junmyeon's eyes made him feel like shit.
Both times he had kissed Baekhyun were sort of accidental, and he didn't actually have intentions to make a move on the brunet. But having Baekhyun pressed against him made him feel all kinds of things at once, and he was so confused. On the other hand, if it was just a phase, or pure lust, it wasn't worth hurting Baekhyun.
Maybe it was actually wrong.
"He's not one of your toys." Junmyeon said harshly. "He went through so much and the only thing he needs right now is another dissapoitment."
Wait, dissapoitment? Why would Baekhyun be dissapointed, it wasn't serious...
"Please, don't hurt him." Junmyeon said with pleading eyes, looking at Chanyeol like a victim begging the killer to spare his life.
After pulling away Junmyeon walked away, leaving Chanyeol alone in the hallway, wondering what it would be like to have a friend like Junmyeon.
----
The sun breaking through thin curtains woke Baekhyun up.
Or maybe it was the sun combined with the worst headache he had felt in his life.
He groaned, rolling over in bed and kicking the blankets off of him.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and it took him few moments to realise where he was, how he had got there and what day it was.
Oh, right. New Year's eve, Tao's house in Pyeongchang, Chanyeol.
Chanyeol.
He remembered his dream from previous night. He was kissing Chanyeol in the snow in it. It felt so real that Baekhyun could easily recall the feeling of Chanyeol's warm lips moving against his. Uncontrollable heat rushed through his body on the mere thought of it, and he slapped his face to get those ideas out of his head. It was probably alcohol, anyway.
He noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes as the day before and his boots and jacket were neatly placed under the bed.
His phone was laying on a night stand, and next to it there was little white pill and a note.
I think you might need this.
Junmyeon
Baekhyun smiled at the note even though smiling made his head hurt even more. So it was Junmyeon who took care of him and his hangover.
He didn't know what he had done to deserve a friend like that, but whatever it was, he was grateful.
-—
"I'm never doing this with you again. Three people were wasted before midinght came, and I can't even look at Sehun without remembering last night." Kris spoke with a dose of frustration in his voice while furiously making a sandwich.
After Chanyeol had carried Baekhyun to the bedroom, things downstairs kept moving in the same direction. Minseok was so wasted that he couldn't stand anymore, and he fell asleep on the floor under the table.
Sehun on the other hand, threw up all over Kris, who was on the verge of strangling him with his own hands because that shirt was Tommy Hilfiger!!
The rest who stayed sober either went to bed or continued to chatter, wondering here and there why Chanyeol didn't come back down but chose to stay in the same room with Baekhyun.
"Maybe they're fucking, leave them alone." Jongdae said when Tao had decided to check up on them, but on those words he just sat down, not too pleased with that image in his head.
"We'd know if they were, Baekhyun is quite vocal." Kai said out of nowhere and Junmyeon shot him a deadly glare, making him turn away from elder's scary expression.
"Like you'd know that." Yixing scoffed at Kai.
"I heard that from his ex." Kai stuck his tongue out at Yixing, and the latter just rolled his eyes.
"I was not that drunk." Minseok made a statement arrogantly, holding his head up like that would help him making his point.
"You usually sleep under tables, Minseok hyung?" Luhan asked rather innocently, but a playful smirk that danced on his lips gave him away.
"Aish, you little brat-" Minseok grabbed him by the arm, turning it upside down.
"Ow ow ow ow-"
"Good morning to you too." someone's raspy morning voice said loudly.
Chanyeol, who had been staring at his cereals and thinking during whole breakfast, finally lifted his head up, his eyes meeting Baekhyun's figure.
Baekhyun was wearing oversized blue hoodie that was loosely hanging on his shoulders, paired by simple sweatpants. His hair was ruffled and messy, but his eyes didn't look tired. He seemed concious enough to notice Chanyeol's stare on him, and after replying with his own for few moments that seemed like forever, he turned away, sitting down.
Chanyeol's heart was beating too fast. He didn't know what to expect from his next encounter with Baekhyun, and he was bothered by it.
Please, don't hurt him.
Junmyeon's words were ringing in his head repeatedly like a mantra, and it only made things harder for him.
During past months he became close to Baekhyun, and he knew that even though it was unknowingly, the smaller appreciated having Chanyeol by his side.
Something about Baekhyun made him feel... Important.
It sounded stupid even in his head, but helping Baekhyun made him find a purpose. Yes, he had goals like playing volleyball professionally or travelling the world, but seeing Baekhyun's smile that was caused by him made all those thing insignificant in a blink of an eye.
He had to find a way to clear things out with Baekhyun, because he didn't want to lose the friendship they were staring to build.
"Earth to Chanyeol." he heard a voice call him, and the next thing he felt was stab of a fork on his forearm.
"Ouch! What the h-"
"We are dealing with serious business here, pay attention." Jongdae scolded him.
"What is it?"
"Looks like this evening there will be a snow storm here, my parents called to inform me that we have to pack right away and take the first bus back." Tao sighed, making everyone frown and whine in disapproval.
The boys were supposed to spend at least 2 more days there, and Chanyeol was dissapointed just like everyone else.
"We should clean everything and pack as soon as we finish the breakfast." Junmyeon said.
"Okay, mom." Baekhyun replied silently, with a sly smirk on his face. Junmyeon gave him a poisonous stare, but in reality he was happy to hear old Baekhyun speaking up.
It took them two hours to clean everything around the house. It was a living mess, with empty bottles and bags of snacks everywhere, dirty dishes and clothes all around. Chanyeol was recruited to the kitchen area with Baekhyun, who polished glasses while Chanyeol washed them.
They were working in silence, both of them drowned in their own thoughts.
Baekhyun couldn't get that stupid dream out of his head. He was staring blankly at Chanyeol's defined arms that were showing up with his sleeves rolled up, and he remembered Chanyeol's fingers holding his face so clearly, he could remember how his touch had felt that it almost annoyed him.
It was too real.
He lifted his head up to examine Chanyeol's face closer. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as if he was really focused on his thoughts, creating a cute small curve on his forehead. He was clenching his jaw too, which made his dimple pop up. The weirdest thing were his ears though, that were red on the tips and slightly curved outwards.
Everything about Chanyeol was just so incomprehensible.
The fact that those lips were kissed by dozen of people. The fact that it was Baekhyun that Chanyeol wanted to be friends with, trying his hardest to get his attention despite them being enemies in the past. Especially compared to their relationship in the past, when they didn't know much about each other but loved to insult and tease just because it was fun and they had similar personalities when it came to lifting up the atmosphere.
Baekhyun realised that he didn't know many things about Chanyeol.
Random things, that made people know each other.
He didn't have any more reasons not to try to find out. He wanted to know Chanyeol better. He wanted to understand him.
"What do you want to do after high school?"
"I'm sorry about last night." came out of Chanyeol's mouth at the same time, and they stared at each other, Baekhyun confused, at Chanyeol suprised when he saw the latter's expression.
"What are you sorry about?" Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows.
Chanyeol stopped, cursing himself for not thinking before blurting out nonsense.
Baekhyun didn't remember their kiss.
"About... I pushed you in snow last night and you passed out since you were drunk." he said. Every time in situations like that one he was thankful for his ability to lie flawlessly, making it sound convincing.
"Oh. I don't even remember you did it." Baekhyun said, but he was lying too. He did remember snow, and Chanyeol, but in his mind there were Chanyeol's glimmering eyes looking at him from above, and soft, gentle touch of Chanyeol's fingers and the warmth that Chanyeol's body was passing onto his, making the cold simply vanish.
Maybe that accident was what had caused his wierd dreams about the giant, so he tried to shake those thoughts off.
"I thought you wouldn't remember but still, I'm sorry." Chanyeol's eyes found his, and Baekhyun felt like there was something unspoken behind that apology.
"Did you put me to bed last night?" Baekhyun asked softly, gratitude hiding behind his voice.
"You looked like you were gonna get sick, so I took care of you." Chanyeol shrugged.
"I should be thanking you, then." Baekhyun said, giving him small, but warm smile. "Thank you, Chanyeol-ah."
A memory from night before when drunk Baekhyun had pulled his sweater, snuggling against him and calling him like that crossed his mind, and he smiled back.
Something about Baekhyun's small gestures made his whole being smile in joy, and in that moment, he didn't even want to suppress it anymore. It just felt so good.
Please, don't hurt him.
He didn't want to. In that moment Park Chanyeol realised, that he would do anything to save Baekhyun from being hurt ever again, especially by himself.
----
Soon after winter break had ended, things went back to normal for Baekhyun, if his life could even be considered normal since he used old headphones to talk to his dead brother.
He spoke to Kyungsoo less then before, not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't have time, and if he did, he would be too exhausted and just fall asleep right after coming home.
The Qualifiers were only days away and all they did was training, but besides that Baekhyun had to keep up with his medical studies and even more important, prepare for the interview with Harvard legate.
His whole future depended in that interview and he was nervous. Every time he studied, at some point his thoughts would wander away into principal's office, with legate sitting in front of him, and his mind would create all the possible scenarios.
He was going crazy.
In volleyball he found both tirement and mental rest, a way to let everything out when slamming the ball the hardest he could against the court.
"You were good today, boys. Go home and have some rest, that's part of training too." coach Lee said, tapping their backs as they walked past him towards the dressing room, all sweaty and exhausted.
"You're staying again?" he asked as he saw Baekhyun picking up a ball, stepping behind serving line.
"Yeah. I'll be careful, don't worry." he assured his coach with a small smile.
"You know you can't fool around with a knee like that. It might cost you both Qualifiers and Nationals." coach Lee warned him. "And you know the team's chances are much lower if you're not playing."
"I know. I won't overwork myself, I promise."
"Good." coach nodded and left the gym, leaving Baekhyun alone, but not for too long.
As soon as coach left, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol's head peeking in. He was still in his training robes too, and he didn't even bother to wipe the sweat off his forehead.
"Again?" he sighed, looking at Baekhyun as the latter landed from his jump, his shoes making sound of gliding against the court and his chest lifting up and down, panting for air.
"You didn't even make a break after the match." he said, making Baekhyun finally look at him.
"You won't get anywhere if you get hurt." he added before Baekhyun could speak up.
"I won't get hurt, Chanyeol." Baekhyun sighed. "I won't get anywhere if I stop improving my serve, either."
"Like you need to improve it." Chanyeol huffed. "No one in our age group is even close to your level."
When Baekhyun didn't reply and just kept doing what he was doing, Chanyeol sat down, watching him practice. His eyes travelled all over Baekhyun's thighs and legs, his sweaty brown hair that looked sexy while the smaller pushed it back from his forehead with his fingers. Baekhyun leaned on his knees to catch his breath, giving Chanyeol the best look he could get at his perfectly shaped, fit ass.
Chanyeol gasped silently, fighting with his own dirty thoughts.
"Hey, Baekhyun?" he called when he was sure his voice was stable again.
"Yeah?"
"Do you wanna go and hang out after you're done? I think you really need both mental and physical break, you're overworking yourself."
Baekhyun stopped in his tracks, thinking a little bit.
"Sure." he gave Chanyeol a little smile, earning a wide, toothy one from Chanyeol.
----
"So, what do you wanna do?" Chanyeol asked after they left the gym.
They had both taken a shower ( separately, of course) and put on some warm clothes before going out, because January in Seoul was merciless.
"You're the one that wanted to hang out, so you tell me."
"I'm not the one that needs a break, though. C'mon, is there anything you'd like to do?"
Baekhyun kept walking, closing his eyes for a moment before looking up at Chanyeol.
"Suprise me."
Chanyeol gave him a suprised look before smirking devilishly, a newborn idea occupying his mind.
"If you say so."
----
"I'll hate you forever for this." Baekhyun muttered, pulling his fingers through his freshly dyed silver hair.
Chanyeol had dragged him to hairdresser's because apparently he needed to dye his hair black again because it had faded already, and then made Baekhyun do it too, even choosing his colour.
Even though he didn't want to admit it, Baekhyun lowkey liked it. He looked different. It felt like taking another step towards his old self. His brighter, confident self.
"You said you wanted me to choose what to do." Chanyeol chuckled, zipping his jacket up and wrapping his scarf around his neck. "You didn't try too hard to refuse, though. I think you secretly wanted some change." he smirked.
"Not true." Baekhyun mumbled.
They were walking by Han river, lights of the city already painting the view in most beautiful colours, mixing with warmth of winter sunset dressed up in pink and purple. Baekhyun found himself mesmerized by the scenery, and he realised that it had been a while since he saw the sun setting down behind the river. He used to do that all the time when he was younger, with his family.
"Don't be so boring, Byun. Besides, it looks pretty on you." Chanyeol complimented in low voice, pulling his fingers through Baekhyun's moonlight silver hair, keeping his hand resting against the back of smaller's head for few seconds.
Baekhyun turned his head towards Chanyeol, looking into his eyes as if he was searching for something in them. A proof of something he couldn't define, a sign of something he wanted to feel.
"Your hand is cold." he said quietly, and Chanyeol pulled his hand back.
He brought both his palms together to his mouth and puffed his breath in, warming them.
Then he put them both on Baekhyun's cheeks, making him face him and squeezing his cheeks.
"Better?" he grinned, and Baekhyun's eyes just widened at suprise at giant's unexpected act.
"Mhm." Baekhyun managed to mumble before Chanyeol let go of his cheeks and grabbed his hands together, bringing them close to his face and puffing his breath in them too.
Baekhyun stayed still while Chanyeol attepmted to make him warm, staring in the latter's soft, warm eyes. Chanyeol looked at him too, his eyes smiling.
Some pleasant, unknown feeling started building up in Baekhyun's chest, blooming like a rose in spring, fed with rain. His whole body felt warm, like Chanyeol succeeded in making not only his hands and face warm, but his blood too.
His blood turned into fire, flowing through his veins and bringing pleasure all over him.
"You know I'd never hurt you, right? Chanyeol whispered, his lips brushing against Baekhyun's knuckles as he spoke.
When all Baekhyun gave him as an answer was a confused look, Chanyeol continued.
"I know people's past often defines them, and I know mine is not the prettiest one, let's put it that way. There are things I feel sorry for, but there are things I don't regret. Coming to this school and the reason I got expelled for are someting I'd do even if I got a chance to go choose again. You may think I'm just a fuckboy and I know you and I were enemies before but I didn't know you then. Besides for the facade you put on as a volleyball player and your confidence I didn't know what you're like as a person. Now that I know that, I'm glad that I got the chance to meet the real you. I'm glad that you let me in, too. I just want you to know... That in this short time we've been friends, even though you don't know it, you've changed many things about me."
Chanyeol's eyes didn't leave Baekhyun's for the whole time he was speaking, and he noticed Baekhyun's expression changing from confusion to understanding.
"What have I changed about you?" he asked, his voice soft as feathers.
"You gave me a purpose." Chanyeol answered. "It might sound cheesy or something, but I find it my own mission to bring you hope again. I just couldn't set down with the the thought of you being sad and seeing all your happiness had drained. I remembered you from before, and I just couldn't accept what you were doing to yourself. I stopped sleeping around, because I don't feel a need for it anymore. I have something more important to occupy myself with."
Baekhyun froze.
Chanyeol's words sounded so genuine, he could feel that they were coming right from the taller's heart.
Emotions were mixing inside him, and he was confused by Chanyeol's intentions. He knew that the giant wanted to become his friend and fit in the team in general, but this was different.
It sounded like Chanyeol cared for him, and a gentle sparkle in his eyes was something Chanyeol never gave to anyone but Baekhyun. He didn't look at anyone but Baekhyun that way.
His heart was thumping like mad and he felt butterflies going crazy inside his stomach.
What was this feeling?
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing anything on you. What I'm trying to say is that I want to be there for you. I want to help you get out of this mess because it's not your fault and you don't deserve this."
Chanyeol's hand left Baekhyun's, just to travel up to cup his cheek again, wiping a single tear running down his face with his thumb.
"You deserve all the best things in this world, Baek. Please, just let me try to fix you."
More tears started rolling down Baekhyun's pale, porcelain skin and soon he was in sobbing Chanyeol's embrance, creating a wet stain on his scarf. He cried because of Kyungsoo, because the past year of his life, because all of the things he could've said and done but he hadn't, because in all his misery God still didn't forget him and gave him people like Junmyeon and Chanyeol in his life, and even his parents.
He cried because he was endlessly thankful for Chanyeol, for his arms around his small body, for his comforting words.
He cried because for the first time in a year, he felt happiness again, and thought that maybe there was still some beauty left in this world.
____
A/N
I'm sorry. Again.
I know I promised to update ever weekend but all my final exams were this week and I didn't have time to do anything besides studying.
Christmas is coming and so is more free time and more updates! Stay tuned ;)
All my love, Eun Ji :)