Chapter 31: Du jour au lendemain
It was peaking the witching hour of midnight. The rain felt lighter than the air, and Alex sat outside, with his back to the door. With every breath he took, it got easier and easier to lose focus.
The lock clicked open behind him and he didn't make any effort to move. He heard the shuffling of feet and he presumed Faye was moving away from the door. After waiting for the moment to pass, he got up from his feet and let all the wet rain that had puddled itself in his clothes fall to the floor. His hair had been soaked and the droplets on his eyelashes made it so that no one could make out he was crying. His tears had mingled in with the rain.
He touched the doorknob and pushed softly, although it felt like that took all of his energy. He saw Faye lying in bed with the blanket wrapped around her and on top of her shielding her face. Her body was turned away from his and his lip quivered as he felt her faith in him had gone.
They had a week of camp left until they all broke up for half term break, then the second semester would start after. He was running out of time... No. He had no more time left.
He could feel it. The sand wasn't slipping down fast in the hourglass, the glass itself was shattered. He needed to make her understand, he needed her to be on his side, he needed her.
He walked to her side of the bed, and saw her body tense underneath the white blanket. It felt so weird how just this morning, that blanket was on the floor and they were....
Fuck, he thought.
He kneeled down in front of her and brought his hand out to touch her shoulder, but before he could, Faye spoke in the most cold and detached voice that he would never forget.
"Ne me touche pas" (Do not touch me)
He removed his hand from her space and sighed. He couldn't find the words, and he had lost all his energy to begin scrummaging for them. She had heard everything he had to say, he had been screaming it from behind the door through the storm.
He closed his eyes and exhaled softly, he got up from his knees and walked over to the side of their cabin. He did not take off his wet clothes, didn't even shower. He went to the first corner of their cabin where he slept on the mattress the first week of camp. He looked back once at his small slice of heaven slipping away from his fingers, turned back around and collapsed on the cotton.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The days trailed on, the storm passed and the weekend finally blew over with a haste goodbye. Alex felt a little bit of his heart being chipped away with every dismissal of eye contact and every movement to create space that Faye conjured up.
It was a monday morning and he was in their bathroom, tying a towel around his waist. He looked up at the foggy mirror and swiped his palm over the middle cross section so that he could look at the mess he became over the past couple of days.
Faye hadn't spoken a word to him. She barely ever interacted when the meals came around, and when the final call out for the storm passing over and regular lessons came out last night, she held a stoic face like none of it phased her.
Jonathan was under 24 hour surveillance and had to plug in every meal he had and his dietary intake. Thats the last Alex had heard from Marie, but none of it was certain because he would only come back to camp in the next few days. Everything was on thin ice and all Alex wanted was the one person that made his heart beat a little faster to look at him just fucking once.
He sighed and opened the door behind him. With his eyes on the ground, he walked out and into the main space of their cabin. He stopped short when he saw Faye near her closet facing away from him. She had just taken off her top over her head and her whole body froze under the scrutiny of Alex's eyes. With her arms above her head and her t-shirt in midst of being over her head, Alex couldn't help himself. He scorched her skin with his eyes as he looked from her shoulders to just above her ass.
She had two dimples at the bottom of her spine and all Alex could think of was tasting the skin there. As if she could sense where his thoughts were headed, Faye quickly put the top back on and dusted off imaginary dust from the material at the bottom. She coughed a ragged breath and turned to walk away.
She made her way to the door and just as her hand reached out, Alex dashed from his position near the bathroom entrance to the door and slammed it so that she couldn't get out.
Faye gasped and looked at where his hand touched the wood. She frowned and looked up at him. Faye had creases under her eyes that shared her secrets of lack of sleep and how the last couple of days had a toll on her. Alex wanted her glow back on her skin and the rosiness back in her cheeks. Yet standing here, with her eyes full of anger and confusion - she still looked beautiful.
"Pourquoi est-ce que tu me fais ça?" Alex whispered (Why are you doing this to me?). As soon as the words left his mouth, her eyes glazed over and any revelation of feeling left her system once more. She shook her head slightly and her chin quivered slightly as she looked on the ground and then back to where his hand was.
She pulled the door open and this time Alex didn't stop her on her way out.
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Kitkat