Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Six
—
"And don't believe narcissism, when everyone projects
And expects you to listen to them"
Sick Boy | The Chainsmokers
—
Lilla
[Two Weeks Ago - April 24th, 2018]
Me: I'm still in shock. That was pure insanity, I send to the group chat I have with my friends, sitting on my bed with homework sprawled out in front of me. But I'm struggling to concentrate after the days events.
Bianca's response buzzes in first.
BiBi: Me too girl. I'm so sorry that u got caught in that. Fucking Jason needs to chill
After reading the message, my heart plummets to my stomach. I read over the text more times than I've listened to Adele's 25 album. Over and over until I finally get some kind of a grasp on what Bianca just said.
"Fucking Jason needs to chill."
"Needs to chill."
"Fucking Jason."
The sound of my stomach churning is drowned out by more vibrations from my phone. Allie and Shayla.
Allison Alexandra Alana: I second that, B. Y doesn't he just leave ppl alone? What a dick.
Shayyyyyyyyyyyy: tru dat. Poor Charlie. His nose is broken, right? He had a great nose. Oof
My hands are shaking. My head is pounding. I'm filled with a fire and an anger that can't be expressed over text, and won't even be covered by all caps. They don't know what happened. They're judging, they didn't see it, and they don't believe that it was the stupid popular guy who is the most obnoxious, annoying person in our grade, but everyone thinks he's funny.
Unpopular opinion: He's an infuriating, insecure prick.
Me: what the hell is wrong with you guys?! Charlie started it. I was THERE. He brought up Jason's brother and you dumbasses don't even try to imagine that Jason is in a shitty place. Imagine if you were in his shoes that night. This is disappointing.
I hit send before I loose my courage. Some might say that what I said was harsh, but I'm a harsh person when I get pissed.
Then, I remember another thing, and my fingers dart across the screen of my phone, typing out a final message before I ignore the tsunami of texts I know are coming.
Me: Charlie also threw me on the ground, as you saw when you came outside. The scrape in my knee hurts like a bitch and is fire truck red. Thanks for asking.
I throw my phone to the end of the bed, aggressively, and it hits the big decorative pillow I keep there, sliding down after the thud of hitting the pillow. The phone vibrates over and over and over, and then a new vibration tone comes in, telling me I have a call coming in. I recognize the pattern as Piper's, so I hesitantly answer.
"Pip?" I mumble, suddenly emotionally exhausted and unprepared to deal with her telling me she's on the girls' side.
"Oh my God, Lil, my phone has been blowing up. I've been at the paper, and I look at my messages to see more notifications then Beyoncé when she announced she was having twins. I looked at the messages, and I'm horrified. Are you OK?"
A shaky sigh comes out of my mouth, and I throw my hand over my eyes, reflecting on the past ten minutes.
"Honestly, not really. But that doesn't matter. What matters is: Our best friends somehow got really clouded judgement. I'm so pissed at them. Have you talked to Gavin? Has he seen the messages?"
"I don't know," she says, and I feel my phone buzz in my hand, and I see that it's a private text from Gavin.
Gavin Degraw: if you want, I'll cut a bitch. Anything u need, I am here to help u.
"Actually, he saw it," I sigh into the phone. "He just texted me saying something along the lines of causing them physical harm... Sometimes I am concerned for that boy."
"Don't be. They deserve it. And he texted me the same thing, BTW. Let's just... Not talk to them for a bit. Maybe they'll apologize, maybe they won't, but we don't wanna open a window in a burning house."
While Piper says this, I go to the text thread and scroll through some of the messages the girls sent after my response. It's not pretty.
BiBi: Jason is a big boy, he should be over it by now, or at least bury all of his angsty teen thoughts into an untouched place in his brain. Charlie didn't ask to get punched.
Pippy: guys wtf is going on?!?
Shayyyyyyyyyyyy: princess over here lost her damn mind when we said that the fight was Jason's fault. He was picking a fight, wasn't he? Everyone except Lilla that was there said Jason started it. Charlie didn't deserve it.
Allison Alexandra Alana: ^^^
Gavin Degraw: Whoa whoa whoa when did you guys stop trusting the word of literally the most trustworthy person you all know
Pippy: I can't believe you guys. How insensitive can you be??? And when did yall suddenly get so obsessed with following the herd???? Poor Jason, no wonder he is so antisocial. I would be too if I had to listen to people like you talk like that daily
Allison Alexandra Alana: hold up. We aren't being insensitive, we are being real. And we aren't following the herd, but I don't think Lilla saw as much as she thinks so we're choosing to believe the people who know what happened.
Gavin Degraw: BUT HUNNY, THEY L I E D. remember, lil said they tried lying to Kinley? They want people to think of Charlie as an innocent king but he's really a lying freak if he's trying to pull this off. And everyone who believes him is a freak, too.
Shayyyyyyyyyyyy: call me a freak one more time, please. The floor is yours, FREAK.
I wince when I read that, and the anger burns in my head. Gavin has always been pretty open about his sexuality, being pansexual and pretty flamboyant, and as a younger kid he got made fun of for things he'd do. There was a group of assholes in 6th grade who I'm pretty sure had some bad home issues, and gave Gavin shit for the whole year. Something they called him, just about daily, was a freak. He was so strong, but nearing the end of the year, I knew that he was wondering how long it would go on. In May, I accompanied him to the principals office where we spilled the beans about everything. Because of Greenfield Middle School's zero tolerance policy, the boys were not invited back the next year, and they all ended up moving away by the time we hit high school.
Seattle is the most accepting place, and as we got older, that became clearer and clearer, especially to Gavin. I don't think he plans on leaving.
"Lilla?" I hear through the speaker. I break out of my trance, the fury towards the girls coming back.
"Shayla is such a bitch," I think aloud. "She called him a freak. Who the fuck does she think she is? She knows what happened. Allie and Bianca too. I just can't believe that they would— That they'd—" About to cry, I reach for the tissue box on by bedside table. "They don't know anything," comes out in a harsh whisper. Piper understands the double meaning, I think, and shifts the topic.
"How's the knee? You got maggots crawling outta that bad boy yet?" The thought makes me laugh hysterically, and I worry if my mom came in that she'd think I've actually lost it. I probably look so ridiculous. Good thing she's at work.
"No maggots, yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if some eggs got in there while I crawled around on the ground. I'm going to have a family! Children!" Pip's high pitched giggle rings through the speaker, and my cackle escapes loud and obnoxious, but I don't care because I would rather laugh than hate the girls. Laughing with Piper makes me happy, and we could both use some joy.
"No, you're only 16! I know that you idolize Lorelai Gilmore, but I'm not sure you should take it to such an extent."
"Lorelai Gilmore is iconic and nothing will change my mind."
We pause for a moment, taking deep breaths, and I think about everything that just happened. I'm pretty sure I'm down a few friends now, but honestly, if that's who they really are, then I want nothing to do with that.
"Lilla? I gotta go. Get some rest, and I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"
"Sounds good. Love you."
"Love you too."
We hang up, and I scoot down the bed until I'm fully lying down. The silence that surrounds me is a gift, when my phone vibrates.
I'm seriously starting to hate that sound.
Maxwell: piper just texted me, she said that there were some arguments and fights today, something about your friends having fucked up morals? She texted all the guys about the thing w ur friends I think, just to tell them to kinda freeze them out until "they get it together". Idk. It sounds like you've been through it today, tho, and ik we were just together but if you want me to come over, say the word and I'm there :)
I ponder the offer. Most of my homework is done, I can wrap it up later, and the opportunity to not think about school sounds heavenly.
Me: I would love it, actually. I'll be waiting ;)