Amelia
"I'm really confused dad, you think you could help me figure out what I'm doing?" I ask looking at the picture of him, me and my mom that we had in a frame at his grave.
I was currently sitting talking to him, I hadn't been here in ages because it always made everything even more real every time I came here.
"I keep going over it in my head and everything's kind of blurry as if I was drunk. I don't know whether or not I overreacted and then all of a sudden just dropped it, but I had only realised I liked Niall and then he gets a girlfriend and I just wasn't in the mood to talk to him about anything."
"Oh my god I'm confusing myself."
I smile at the photo. "I wish you were here to give me some advice, even if it was the worst advice in the world."
A tear escapes my eye and I quickly wipe it away.
"Joan's weddings on Friday. Me and mom are going for you." I laugh. "Even though I know she was as much of a judgemental person to you, but I know you loved her and she loved you so that's enough to keep me putting up with her. I don't think she really understands that what she's saying people take seriously."
I sit and talk to my dad for awhile before standing up and wiping the dirt off me.
"I'll come see you soon, promise. I'm going to sort my head out and make you proud."
I walk back to my car before driving home and I spend the rest of the evening thinking.
The next morning I got to school a little earlier so that I wouldn't be late for assembly again. I had been lost in thought since yesterday evening and everything was going in a kind of haze, like I knew what was happening but it was as if I wasn't really there I was so lost in thought.
I was sitting in assembly when Matt finally spoke to me since the weekend.
"Hey Amelia." He says quietly almost as if he was scared to talk to me.
I look at him with s small smile. "I'm not annoyed at Niall so I can't be annoyed with you."
His face breaks out in a grin. "Thank god, I've been worried that you'd go all pissed Amelia on me. Niall came back late to the class after lunch yesterday and he puffed, I thought ye had a shouting match."
I shake my head. "It wasn't me who tired him and I'm pretty sure it wasn't shouting either, well actually it could've easily been just not the same way as you thought."
Matts eyes widen and he smirks. "That sounds a lot more like Niall, going to go apologising to someone and ending up getting caught up with another girl."
The rest of the group walk in, adding on Caroline and her two minions, and sit down all around us.
I watch as Caroline sits on Niall's lap and he smirks before kissing her.
Matt whistles and Niall and Caroline turn around to look at both of us.
Matt makes a comment about how the old Niall is back while Caroline just stares at me with a smirk.
"What about you two? Both here so early, what were ye doing?" Caroline looks between me and Matt.
"Talking." I say at the same time Matt says. "We have never slept together."
"Oh how silly of me to ask, I should've known there's a reason your known as virgin girl." Caroline says, and I knew she had that planned all along.
Niall almost choked on the water he was drinking and Matt tried to cover up a chuckle with a cough as did Jake and Seth.
Both Lauren and Bethany hit their boyfriends, well I'm not sure if Beth and Jake are officially going out.
"At least I'm not known as a desperate slut, sweetie your going to need to do a lot better than that to get me out of the picture." I fake smile sweetly. "But don't worry I've no plans on trying to take Niall off you so don't be so insecure."
With that I turn around to Lauren and Bethany and start talking to them.
"Where'd you get to yesterday? You skipped last three." Lauren asks.
"I went to my dads grave, I just felt like something was telling me too." I explain and they nod their heads understandingly. "So what's going on with your love life Beth?"
"We're like a couple but not official yet, if you get me." She says. "I'm sure we will be official soon though, I think we're just trying to get our heads around it."
"Well I think you two are the perfect match." Lauren tells her and Bethany smiles happily. "While we're talking about love lives, when the hell did Niall and Caroline happen?"
"Yesterday at lunch. I was unfortunate enough to be told by the witch herself." I tell them. "Followed by her trying to kick me off our table."
"What a bitch! That's been our table since freshman year, if anyone's going it's going to be her and Niall." Lauren says.
"Don't worry about it I doubt Niall will stick to one girl for that long." I answer.
"Caroline's desperate enough to stay with him anyway." Beth joins in.
"Which makes this week even better." I say sarcastically before the teacher walks into the classroom and every goes quiet.
~~~~~~~
It was currently lunch and my classes had been uneventful.
I was currently sitting beside Lauren and Seth while they and the rest of the group were having a conversation, except for Niall and Caroline of course. Since there wasn't enough seats she decided that she'd have to sit on his lap and the minions would have to pull up to spare chairs beside them.
She was whispering in his ear as he smirked at her.
I roll my eyes turning my attention back to the conversation between everyone else.
"All I'm saying is sometimes secrets are okay." Matt says.
"I think it depends on what type of secrets they are." I join the conversation.
"Would you not just want to be straight up though." Seth says.
"I mean if it's about someone you like it's not going to kill them not to know about it." Bethany says.
"But if they know and they turn you down at least you don't go hoping for something that's never going to happen." Lauren says.
"Sometimes it's better for people if they don't know certain things." One of Caroline's minions, Gemma, contributes.
"Secrets are fine as long as they don't turn into lies." Jake adds.
"Sometimes when you keep a secret for so long you start to believe the lies your telling." I say and the whole table looks at me realising what I'm talking about. "But secrets and lies are two different things so one here and there won't kill a person as long as it's nothing serious."
"I agree." Lauren says.
The topic changes to something a little less serious for the rest of the lunch.
It was now the end of the day and Lauren was coming over to my house for a few hours.
She had got a ride with Seth to school so I was currently driving us both to my house.
"So what your saying is you like Niall?" She asks after I explain yesterday to her.
"I wouldn't say like."
"Beth didn't say a name. You were the one who said Niall."
"Yeah but that's only because she was insinuating it."
"Really because you didn't look to impressed with Niall and Caroline at lunch."
"That's because they were putting me off my lunch with all the lovey dovey shit."
"Niall definitely doesn't like Caroline."
"Then why did he ask her to be his girlfriend?"
"Maybe he's trying to make another girl jealous."
"Don't make me laugh Lauren."
"Your so naive sometimes."
I roll my eyes before pulling into my drive.
When we go into the house we get some water and snacks and go up to my room.
"So what are you doing for your hair and makeup Friday?" Lauren asks.
"I practised some eye looks at the weekend but I've no idea yet because it needs to suit my dress and I'm not sure what type of colours I want to do, and for my hair I'm thinking of curling it."
"You'll look bomb anyway. Send me and Beth loads of snaps since we'll be in school all on our own."
"I could ask my mom does she need help with the cake and rest of the desserts and you and Beth could be like her employees. I don't know why I didn't think of this before because otherwise I'll have no one to talk to."
"Only if she needs help though."
"I'm sure she will she had to take Thursday off from the hotel because she's so much to bake. Will you parents let you?"
"Yeah they don't care, and I'll do it for free too because I'll get to get off school and see you and Seth instead of being so boring on a Friday."
"I'll ask when she gets back."
We change the topic and before I know it it's late and I'm driving her home.
"Great study lesson." She jokes.
We had told her parents we were studying and that's why she was over but in truth we hadn't touched our bags since we walked into the house.
"I know right I get all of that algebra now."
My car starts making annoying beeping noises to tell me that it's running low on gas so I pull into the nearest gas station to where we were.
"Can you fill up the car? Put 20 dollars worth in it and I'll go get us some chocolate and pay." I ask her and she nods.
We both get out of the car and she starts to fill it up while I walk into the shop.
I'm deciding on what chocolate to get when I hear a familiar voice.
"This is the stupidest plan I've ever heard." Pause. "She's not an idiot she'll realise this is all to make her jealous." Pause. "No I'm not telling my girlfriend to lie to her best friend." Another Pause. "If you'd just be honest and not keep secrets like we were talking about at lunch no one would have to lie."
The face to the voice turns around to look at me and shock fills it. "I've got to go I'll talk to you later." And he hangs up the phone.
"Hey Amelia." Jake says.
"Seemed like an intense conversation you were having."
"It was nothing." He says but I know he's lying.
I raise my eyebrow. "Why exactly would Bethany have to lie to her best friend?"
"I'm in a rush so I'll call you later and explain everything then." Jake explains and I nod my head. "See you around."
"Later."
I pick up a bar of chocolate and pay for it and the gas before going back out to Lauren in the car.
"Hey did you meet Jake in the shop. I seen him walking out on the phone." She asks.
"Yeah he was in a rush though so it was only a quick hello." I lie.
Only when I dropped off Lauren at the house and was half way back to my house did I realise that I had lied to Lauren without a second thought.
Jake called me later that night.
"So what's up then?" I ask.
"Well when I said Beth would be lying to her best friend I was over exaggerating it's just Seth wants to surprise Lauren and he wants everyone to help. So can you please keep this a secret for a little while, all will be revealed soon I promise." Jake explains.
"Of course I can. Anyway I'll talk to you at school tomorrow I need to ask my mom something." I tell him.
"Alright talk then." He says and hangs up.
I had already asked my mom could Beth and Lauren help her and text the girls when she agreed to it as long as their parents did too.
I didn't have to ask my mom anything, but I didn't want to talk about secrets and lies anymore because over the last week I felt like they were taking over everyone's lives.
Taking over my life again.