He heard the twins breaking out in another symphony of hysterical cries after he had slammed the door so hard.
Was it really the point where his and Taeyong's ways needed to part. Was it really over because of something so stupid.
Jae was trembling when he reached a crowded promenade along the beach found a bar ordered whiskey, he emptied the gasses with two large sips asking the barkeeper to leave the bottle.
He tried his best to calm down but he couldn't, even the alcohol burning in his system wasn't giving him release.
He remembered his exciting time with Mark in New York, their meaningful talks in LA, he remembered how alive he had felt, while here, the nightmare of Ten and Rachel's life he was looking at was crumbling the hair on his head. And Taeyong was sitting there babysitting the twins that were crying days and night, cleaning any singing stupid songs instead of touring the world, instead of performing in front of sold out stadiums, a dream Jae has always had but never achieved. He had a small fanbase, a fanbase enough to make a few concerts her and there in clubs or theaters, but he has never reached the level of Taeyong or Mark, the A class worldwide superstars. How could Taeyong give this in, give in everything Jae has ever wanted for nothing.
I think we should part ways, said his mind. Although he had promised himself he will never break up with Taeyong again.
He was ready to go back to tell Taeyong they needed to quit it but his insides began to ache. He loved Taeyong, yes he couldn't watch how his love was wasting his life that way.
Jae left the rest of the bottle on the counter, paid, then walked out down to the beach, lot of tourist had come to see the sunset, so Jae sat down in the sand looking how the red ball was sinking behind the horizon. He was considering it all, will he really be able to live without Taeyong again, since he had met him there were only this short periods they had been apart, these three times he had broken up but Taeyong was everything, Jae has alleys found a way back to him and the past four years were one golden phase of happiness, he thought they ware so strong, he thought it will last. He wanted to call Taeil to cry into the phone but he knew it's up to him, the decision is the one he had to make alone.
The sun set into the ocean but its was still warm, some couples were walking down the beach making photos with flashlights. Couldn't him and Taeyong be here in some five star resort in a private bungalow all alone, have passionate sex above the stars, maybe even a private beach were he could take Taeyong in the waves as he has never had sex one the beach with Taeyong just with Sicheng, this memory was like a knife. It was dark when Jae got up, the pain and frustration were in him again when he was walking back to Ten's house, ready to pack and leave. What will Taeil say when he will appear back on tour so quickly, what will Mark do. Will they fall into a crazy row of clubbing getting wasted, will some other people happen. Jae shivered, he opened the door carefully to not to wake the twins up, he saw that Ten and Rachel were gone probably asleep only Taeyong was lying on the couch watching TV that as on very quietly.
Taeyong noticed him so he sat up pulling the blanket tighter over himself, his face was troubled his eyes carried despair.
"Jae," he whispered.
Jae was shivering when he walked to the couch sitting down next to Taeyong trembling like crazy till Taeyong's hand landed on his back.
"Pease don't even consider breaking up with me for the forth time, it's something I'll never ever stand," said Taeyong causing Jae to nearly break out into tears.
"We... it won't wofk this way. We have completely diffefent needs," said Jae turning to Taeyong but these dark eyes melted the ice in him.
"Remember how you were the good boy who was living with his terrible mum when I was the rebel rapper, partying as hard as Mark is right now?" asked Taeyong.
"It was diffefent we wefe seventeen just getting to know each othef," said Jae.
"You accepted me then the way I was," Taeyong moved his face so close Jae felt his hot breath, Taeyong's lips brushed his so briefly Jae's skin filled with goosebumps. "And I tried my best to change for you, to work so hard till I was calm enough to be with you."
"Stop," Jae moved an inch from Taeyong.
"Now I'll work hard to make you happy again, I'm sorry my Jae I should have never told it it was just hurting inside me I became so depressed, even my music stopped making me happy only you are."
"I'm not anymofe," said Jae. "Taeyong if you want someone else it means my love stopped being enough."
"Do you think Ten and Rachel's love stopped being enough?" asked Taeyong stunned.
"I don't know if the thing between them can be called love have you seen them?"
"Something keeps them here together despite all the hardship," said Taeyong.
"But they'fe not happy!"
"You see them tired and frustrated but deep underneath it they're happy."
"You'fe delusional Taeyong," hissed Jae.
"Delusional yes?' Taeyong raised his voice then looked up scared.
He was inhaling sharply while Jae was watching the carpet Taeyong had definitely been mad now.
"I was in a stfip club in New Yofk with Mafk," said Jae.
"What!" Taeyong moved from him. "But but..." he stuttered.
"We we'fe escaping ffom the police because Mafk's new ffiends wefe doing an illegal gfaffiti," Jae continued. "We hid in the club a guy gave us costumes we went on stage but in masks wefe dancing," Jae felt heat on his cheeks.
"Naked?" asked Taeyong his voice very disappointed.
"Yes, hey it was dancing naked I nevef allowed anyone to touch me," said Jae.
"But they had all seen you," Taeyong's voice cracked.
"And?" Jae shrugged. "I was posing shiftless fof a magazine covef a few houfs eaflief."
"It's different."
"Feally?" Jae looked at Taeyong whose eyes were so sad.
"Why are you doing it?" he asked.
"Because I want to live I want to explofe to have fun, Mafk is fight if we won't do anything now we will become old and bofing. Besides I wanted to pfactice and see..." Jae bit his tongue.
"Practice what?" asked Taeyong.
"I have this idea fof my comeback video, I want a fake sex scene in it, aftistically shoot with diffefent lights on the naked bodies of the lovefs who will kiss and touch on the bed," said Jae feeling the heat and fear are making it hard for him to speak.
"You want to be one of this people in tis video yes?" asked Taeyong his voice very strange.
"Yes, I want to explofe my wild side it's an aftistic vision," said Jae lying his hand on Taeyong's.
"Yes it's just a video, yes..." Taeyong sniffed. "Have you chosen an actor who will play it with you?" asked Taeyong causing Jae's stomach to twist.
"I actually though you will agfee," Jae swallowed loud.
Taeyong's jaw dropped in shock. He was watching Jae with such a stunned face Jae was ready to run away.
"Fofget we... we'fe done hefe, I'm going to the hotel."
Thank you for the love and support, you are the best😘
What do you think about Jae's struggles and Jaeyong's conversation? Is this the end of Jaeyong?
Much <3