HORIZON
three | they don't know
"AFTER OUR LAST session, I went to the movies and met someone." Savannah confessed, uncrossing her legs from each other. Her body leaned forward, clasping both hands together. Almond eyes stared at the grey carpet underneath her feet.
She didn't see it, but Mrs. Kelley's eyes widen at her words. Clearing her throat, she sat up straight and clicked her pen. "You did? Tell me about it."
"I was, uh, sitting in the lobby and just watching everyone around me like I usually do. And I saw this...girl sweeping the floors. I felt like I was going to vomit since she kept inching closer to me without realizing. Then I might've squeezed my cup so hard that it exploded all over me and it just went on from there." Savannah explained, hoping her therapist wouldn't ask her to go into detail about her and Carson, or just Carson in general. It was one thing to fantasize and slightly stalk the girl but it was another to actually talk about it.
Mrs. Kelley paused for a moment, writing something down in Savannah's file. This was the first time she ever heard Savannah go out and meet someone. The girl had such bad social anxiety she would always find excuses not to do something out in the public. A soft, proud smile spread across her face before looking back at her patient. "Has anything else happened or was it just a one-time thing?"
"I bumped into her in the bathroom at the theater a few days ago." She admitted, purposefully keeping out the desire of wanting to talk to Carson again. Butterflies flew around in her stomach at the thought of the fiery red head. Now that she clearly heard Carson's voice, it was on repeat in her head. "I gave her my number and we've been texting back and forth, that's it."
The second she placed her phone to the side, Savannah stared at it with a finger nail between her teeth. When it lit up again, her heart stopped but it kept beating when seeing it was just a notification from a game app she never played. Sighing, she turned her body on the bed, both hands running through her hair multiple times.
Her and Carson had been texting ever since the day she gave the girl her number. As soon as Carson was off work, she began the conversation with a simple; Hey J. It went on from then. The only times they stopped was when night shadowed across town.
Knowing Carson was into girls; Savannah would occasionally bring up attractive celebrities. This was to see what the girl's type was. It was harder than Savannah thought since Carson would change the subject to something else immediately after answering.
Carson: ya! i've been listening to their album all day finally
Carson: and i'll be honest, i started when you mentioned it
Tired blurred Savannah's vision. She rubbed her eyes with her fists, trying to stay awake but eventually ended up falling asleep before replying to Carson's message.
"That's great!" Mrs. Kelley cheered. The proud expression on her face said more words than a Stephen King novel. Of course, Savannah didn't elaborate on how she felt towards the "friend" she was talking about. But she knew it was going to be the next thing to leave her therapist's mouth. "So, where do you want the relationship to go? Just a friendship or...something romantic?"
The thought of Savannah and Carson becoming something romantic was the only thing the she thought about. It was insane; she had only seen the girl a total of two times! How could she fantasize about someone when she didn't even know their last name? Sure, this happened often when she made an interaction with a pretty girl but never thought about them this much. Maybe it was because Carson was the one who insinuated to continue talking on a daily basis and it got into Savannah's head.
Somehow, she managed to steer the conversation into another direction. The peach color tinting in her cheeks revealed what she had wanted and Mrs. Kelley noticed.
When the session came to a close, they said their goodbyes and Savannah made an appointment for the next week. As she strolled out of the building, a weight once again lifted from her shoulders, her phone buzzed in the pocket of her jeans. Usually, she would have it on full volume but always muted it when at therapy.
Furrowing her eyebrows together, she detached the phone. Her eyes went back and forth between the parking lot she was walking through and the small device. She knew it was a message due to the specific vibration she had set. But, no one ever messaged her this early. It was odd but sort of exciting.
Right the second she closed the driver's door of the car behind her, she immediately darted to the message. The name that appeared on the screen made her heart do back flips and her skin warm against the cool air. She softly smiled when reading what was sent.
Carson: hey! i don't have work today so i was wondering if you wanted to hang out today? unless you're at school or something cause that would be totally awkward
A light chuckle left Savannah's lips, sinking into her seat as she held her phone close to her face. This would be the first time the two actually hung out. When the realization flowed through, anxiety crept its way onto the back of her neck. She would have to be face to face with someone, have to talk to them, with words!
For a brief moment, she began to panic, typing some excuse to shadow over anxiety talking her out of living life once again. But then, she stopped herself, deleting the paragraph of bullshit and stared at the screen for what seemed like hours. Slowly, her thumbs wrote a message.
Savannah: haha i do online school so i'm pretty much free all the time so ya, let's hang out today! when do you wanna meet??
A large breath she didn't realize she had been holding released itself from Savannah's body. This was a huge step. It was less than rare for her to actually commit to plans with another person, let alone a pretty girl. Even though her insides were screaming, a wide smile as she started the car, beginning to drive to where her and Carson planned to meet.
When Carson suggested the place, Savannah had zero idea where it was. There were only a few locations she visited around town but this was farther than she expected. Possibly the girl lived near it and assumed Savannah did too. The last thing she wanted was to cause an inconvenience to a new friend.
Briefly, she was glued to her seat. Eyes stared at an old book store. It was a small, rusty, brick building, the entrance door's paint fading into the original brown. A stand-up sign sat in front with bright neon written words that she couldn't quite catch. Through the large glass window, she noticed cherry orange hair leaning against the first shelf with a book in her hands.
Her fingers shook against each other as Savannah walked inside the store. A little bell hung above the door, ringing once she pushed it open. The pace of her heart sped once artic blue eyes met her almond ones. Something she didn't expect was for the girl standing only a few feet away from her grinned at her presence.
"Hey!" Carson greeted, closing the book and sliding it back to its place on the shelf. The first thing Savannah noted was that Carson wasn't wearing her uniform. Obviously. But, in defense, the uniform was the only outfit she ever saw her in. Red and white stripes hugged her chest, the shirt tucked into a pair of Mom jeans and beat up vans. Stepping closer, her hands shoved themselves in the front pockets of her jeans. "So, have you been here before?"
Glancing down at her own outfit; which was a light brown cardigan covering a white tee shirt and black skinny jeans with a mistaken rip right under the knee, Savannah felt insecure. Sure, she liked her clothing. But, Carson's was so...unique and different from everyone else in their town. Never in her life did she see someone dress 80s as a style. It matched the girl's personality, from what Savannah knew so far. "Uh, I, no I haven't." She laughed shyly, scratching the back of her neck to just do something other than stand there awkwardly. "It's really nice. I thought I've been to every book store in town...I guess I was wrong."
"Wanna check it out before we head out?" She asked, thumbing towards the rest of the store behind her. Lightly, a laugh escaped her lips at how shy she thought Savannah was. She found it adorable, as most people did. When Savannah nodded, Carson motioned her head as a way to say, 'follow me' as she began strolling to the back of the store. "Come on, I want you to get to know the place you'll always be in."
Tilting her head to the side in confusion, Savannah followed the slightly taller girl's lead. Both arms found each other behind her back, unsure what to do with them. "Huh?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Carson questioned, chuckling at herself. "My parents own this place, so, we're going to be hanging out a lot here."
A blush tinted her cheeks. Carson wanted to continue to be around Savannah? They don't even know each other's last names. What if she didn't like how Savannah took a while to warm up to someone? Or anything else about herself? Pushing away her anxiety's pounding questions, she looked down every aisle of book shelves they past to calm herself down. "That's pretty cool. I may take advantage of that."
An hour or so later, Carson ended up showing Savannah the attic of the store. So currently, they were climbing up a latter that led to the dark area. At first, Savannah was suspicious to why she was being shown a secret spot but decided to stop overthinking and take in the moments she was having with a beautiful girl.
She expected the attic to be filled with old antiques and dust but boy was she wrong. It looked more like a bedroom than anything else. Posters of musicians and vinyls were nailed against the wooden walls. A full-size bed sat in the corner, a stack of books next to it as a nightstand which held a small lamp. Tee shirts and folded pairs of jeans hung from a rack beside a large window. And lastly, a desk with a closed laptop and notebooks was placed beside the entrance of the attic.
"This is...my room." Carson announced softly, seeming embarrassed. Not every person you meet lives in an attic above a book store. It was rather odd. Her electric blue eyes faded into cloudy grey as she waited for Savannah's reaction.
Without hesitation, Savannah walked deeper into the room/attic. "Holy shit, it's awesome." She spun around to catch every inch before turning face to face with Carson. Her heart melted when she saw the smile of her face. "But, why do you live here? If you don't mind me asking."
"No, it's fine." The ginger said, waving her hand in dismissal. The color of her eyes faded back to their original state with relief. She sat upon the edge of her bed, expecting Savannah to do the same which she did. They were now sitting only a few inches away from each other, causing her heart beat to increase. "At the moment, my family is kind of broke. With everyone reading books on their phones, it's taking away customers. So, we had to sell our house to buy food. My parents are staying in a storage unit they forgot they had while I had to beg them to let me live up here."
To say Savannah was surprised with the openly honest girl was an understatement. She was honored that Carson was comfortable enough with her to share something so vulnerable. God, they've only each other for a few days and they felt like it's been years. It was better than nice to have someone to have deep conversations with who wasn't her mother. "Shit, that sucks. I'm sorry. Is that why you're working at the theater so often? To help out?"
"Yeah. My parents didn't want me to worry about it but I can't help it, you know? I felt so useless while they got other jobs so I got a job at the theater. They don't know; they'd freak." Carson explained with a gentle sigh. Nothing from her state expressed embarrassment or sadness; she was quite difficult to read. Standing up from the bed, she showed the notebooks on her desk and confessed she also did online school to have more time on her hands to help.
Although it seemed as though she was listening, Savannah wasn't. As bad as it sounded, she couldn't help but admirably stare at the girl standing in front of her. Since she moved to town, which was years ago, she hadn't made a single friend. She didn't want to take advantage or slowly fade away. She wanted to be present; always and forever.
She couldn't accept someone actually wanted to hang out with her. Depression and anxiety held her by strings like a puppet. They were the masters, controlling her every move and emotion. It led to her losing her friends back in her home town.
Once starting therapy and erasing the stressful/toxic people and things from her life, she had been much happier. That didn't mean the depression faded away completely. Episodes would come and go, leaving her to believe she would never be truly happy.
Then Carson walked into her little bubble and she hadn't had an episode. It was like the girl was a distraction—similar to a television show or book. At first, Savannah was frightened that she would become dependent on Carson to try to lift her depression or believe she held the power and could take it away. She did this in the past and regretted it every single day.
Loneliness surrounded Savannah. But now with Carson standing there, talking to her, gave her the sense of hope she prayed for. She was grateful that she was no longer alone and had a friend.
"Hey, you okay?" Carson giggled, waving her hand in front of Savannah's face. "You've been zoned out for like, two minutes."
"Yeah, I'm okay."
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hey! i hope you enjoyed this chapter. cute/soft shit will be happening soon.
thanks for reading!!!! <3