Dun dun dun the winner is….marshmallow ninja!
Marshy, you know me to well and it’s kind of scary. As they say 'awesome minds think alike.' Congratulations you win…a dedication and an invisible cookie, better than a car, right?
Chapter 46: Gwen and Kyle Adventure In The Kitchen!
“Well, no one told me it was a costume party; I would have brought my superman outfit.” He said making me want to hug him.
He has a superman outfit!
Wait, hold up. Did the fourth most richest man just say that he wants to dress up with us? Is he serious?
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked getting excited my hands wanting to flap around like a mad woman.
Don’t tell me you’ve never done the flap. You know, the flap where you are so existed you try to fly.
I cannot help doing it; it’s a natural reaction to me. You can say it’ Gwen, you are not normal’ I already know. Also, stop lying to yourself; you totally want to do the flap. (If you did, you are beyond awesome!).
Ben looked me up and down and frown on his beautiful face “Gwen my dear, I'm loving the new look. You look,” he paused scratching his chin “Tasty.” He finished and I smiled “Kyle you too look weirdly tasty.” He said and I laughed.
He glanced at Aunt June his face a mask of ‘what the hell’ and ‘why doesn’t she come to work in this’. I coughed standing in front of her, blocking him from the view of how short the dress is.
“I didn’t know you were coming for dinner today Ben, could you wait a second while I go on upstairs and get changed.” I smiled politely and turned to Kyle “Kyle keep your dad company.” I said while grabbing Aunt Junes arm, leading her towards the door.
“But dinner.” She hissed, I ignored her and practically pushed her out of the door.
“I need to get changed too.” Kyle voice drifted through the half shut door.
“No, keep your dad entertained, roll around or something.” I said closing the door fully on him.
“Aunt June what were you thinking, wearing something like that with all these people around?” I asked pushing her up the stairs. I stopped when I noticed that there were two men in a black standing by the door, when they see me a small smile pulled at their lips. Great , I'm even a laughing stock to the men in black.
I was about to climb up the stairs behind my aunt and on second thoughts, I think I should lead the way, I don’t want to see another glimpse of her butt, not even for a second.
“He wasn’t supposed to be here so early and it’s not my fault I have great bum cheeks.” She said rubbing it in.
“I have great bum cheeks to.”
“No you have a peanut butt.” She said making me huff.
“I do not.”
“Gwenpee. See I added ‘pee’ at the end of it.”
“Are you telling me that the name Gwenpee has been made because of my butt?” I asked annoyed that she had assaulted my bottom.
I glanced behind us “If you keep staring at my aunts black hole like that I will make sure she sucks you in and not in a good way!” I shouted to the agents who were staring at my Aunt’s ass as if they hadn’t seen one before.
Well I’ve never seen a yawning hippo in person before, not until recently that is.
They both glanced at me, smirks on their faces. One of the even had the nerve to wink.
“You didn’t tell me Ben was coming over for dinner?” I said when we stopped outside her room, she glanced downstairs to were the men in black suits stood, sending one of them a flirtatious wink.
“ It was a last minute thing. He works all day and his wife hardly even talks to him and I said that we could all have a dinner together. However he is early…really early.” She said and d…did she just scratch her bum?
“Okay you go get change; I will meet you in the kitchen.” I said and made my way to my bedroom.
I grabbed my favorite pair of jeans and just about pulled them up over my knees when the door opened.
“Kyle!” I hissed and he glanced at me.
“I should run in here more often.” He said smiling. I made a retarded jumped as I pulled my jeans over my bum and buckled them up.
“You’re such a perv, where’s your dad you’re meant to be keeping him company.” I began rummaging through my draws to find a random top to wear..
I let out a frustrated sigh and turned on Kyle “Why is all your stuff in my draws? Ooh on second thoughts, I like this top.” I place the black Mickey Mouse shirt over my vest top.
“Hey that’s mine!” he said coming over to me.
“Yeah, everything’s yours.” I pointed out and watched as he tugged himself out of the burger costume leaving him standing in brown tights. I smothered a laugh as I referred to him as a ballerina .
“Kyle, copy me.” I said raising my hands above my head in an arch.
“What, no.” he said and I pouted.
“I won’t kiss you for a whole month.” I crossed my hands over my chest, daring him to argue with me.
He stared at me his mouth open wide “A whole month! Why…why not a whole hour. Yeah an hour.”
I shook my head a smile on my face.
He placed his hands above his head; I tipped my head to the side as I eyed him up and down. “Now stick your left leg out. Yes that’s it.” I smiled and as quick as a flash I took a picture of Kyle in his ballerina pose on my camera that I had sneakily got out of my draw when he was taking his burger off.
Ha, taking the burger off!
“Did...did you just take a picture of me?” he asked appalled.
“What me?” I pointed to myself, one hand behind my back, hiding the camera from his view. “Why would I want a funny picture of you in a ballerina pose in skin tights?” I asked him, smirking.
He made his way over to me slowly; I gulped when he stopped directly in front of me.
“Are you going to give me the camera, or am I going to have to take it from you, by force. Hmm?” he asked, his eyes smoldering into mine.
I wanted to back away and tease him more; my body on the other hand wanted him. wanted his touch. I wanted to run my hands through his silky hair (he definitely uses girl shampoo) like I have so many other times. His hands snacked around my waist pulling my closer to him. His shallow breathing was enough to make my body calm. I angled my head up forgetting about the camera that was momentarily behind my back. Kyle's face was just as breathtaking up close; his eyelashes casted a dark shadow onto his cheek bones making him look more handsome than usual.
Ooh, listen to me, handsome! Such big words for a little girl.
My body practically molded against Kyle and I couldn’t stop the sigh of bliss that escaped my lips. A small smile pulled at his lips and I met him half way by standing on my tip toes. Are lips crashed together sending sparks through me and my body tingle in places that I didn’t want to think of right now.
One of my hands ran through his hair as I melted in pleasure. He brushed his tong against my bottom lip asking for entrance, which I gave him. His arms slid down running across my ass, griping it for a second before tracing my curves back up. I felt him smile against his lips when the door opened and someone shouted “They’re having sex!” I pulled away to glare at my aunt and frowned when Kyle ripped away from me, camera in hand.
The sneaky son of a bitch! He totally did that on purpose.
“Aunt June, we are not having sex!” I said turning a bright shade of red.
She pointed at Kyle “With your tong’s.” she looked at us like a possessed person.
“Is she being serious?” I asked.
“You had tong sex didn’t you? Well just in case I brought you a variety of condoms’. Did you know they do glow in the dark ones? And look they have strawberry flavored.” she looked behind her, lowering her voice “And they actually taste like strawberry.” She said excitedly.
“La la la la!” I clasped my hands over my ears and glared at Kyle when he rummaged through the bag of condoms’.
“Aunt June, you are not meant to be encouraging me.” I said throwing my hands in the air.
“Don’t be silly, I hear you both in the middle of the night. Make out sessions are getting a bit kinky aren’t they?” she waggled her eyebrows. I stuttered looking around for something to throw at her.
“That’s it out! Everybody out! Now.” I shouted ushering them all out.
When they didn’t budge, I stomped my foot like the child I am. Kyle casually made his way to the draws pulling out a plain white tee.
“And Kyle damn your ass is looking sexy in those tights.” She smirked and I steeped in front of him, blocking her view.
I winked at her and mouthed ‘all mine.’
She smiled and mouthed back ‘I dare you’ and then she made a squeezing motion that looked like she was squeezing someone’s butt.
I shook my head and pointed at her. Her eyes widened and she pointed to herself while mouthing ‘me’.
“I don’t like these jeans. Oh, what about these ones, no. Wait, I have bunny boxers?” Kyle muttered as he through clothes out of the chest of draws. My eyes widened when a pair of boxer landed on my desk they were blue with pink fluffy bunnies.
Okay, not what I was expecting.
I looked at Aunt June who looked at the pants with affection in her eyes. I guess my aunt likes bunnies.
No way in hell was she getting them, she would most probably sleep with them at night time. I shook my head at the image of my Aunt in bed with them, drool dripping from her chin.
“Oh my favorite Gucci jeans.” Kyle said ad I turned to look at him.
“Gucci is a girls make, isn’t it?” I asked frowning.
“No they do male jeans, expensive once at that might I add.” He said and I looked at the jeans that looked oddly normal.
“How much is expensive?” I asked curious.
“$1000.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. I swallowed looking at the jeans; I could buy a car with that!
He froze and looked at the jeans, his faces inches from the material.
“Would someone like to explain to me why there is a giant big stain on one of the legs?” he asked his questioning gaze landing on both Aunt June and I.
I scratched the back of my head and laughed nervously “A stain? Where, don’t be silly.” I said glancing at the place where I had used to put my Raspberry Popsicle on a couple of weeks back.
Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that they were Gucci and cost over $1000! He could have at least put a warning note on there or something! Or an even better thought, he should have left them at home, that way I wouldn’t get the blame.
“Pip Pip guys, we got to go make dinner.” I clapped my hands together and made my way to the door, grabbing Aunt Junes arm on the way.
“It smells like Raspberries.” He was still holding it his nose in the fabric.
“Ha ha, dinner people.” I said making Kyle glanced at me.
“You d-“ he started.
“Actually you two are making dinner so, I suggest you hurry up. We don’t want to keep your dad waiting.” It was June’s time to clap her hands together.
The little- rawr I can’t cook, I burn everything! And she even knows it.
“Now let’s go. Ben is a very impatient man.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me from my room.
“This isn’t over!” Kyle shouted and I smiled at my aunt who had just saved my life.
“You were joking about the whole cooking thing, weren’t you?” I asked glad that I didn’t have to cook.
“No.”
“No?” I asked my mouth falling open.
“You,” She poked my nose “and Kyle are going to cook a nice meal.”
“But…but I burn water for Christ sakes!” yes, I actually burnt water once.
****************
“Kyle, what is that?” I leaned over his arm and watched as he poured some substance that looked like sugar into the cake mixture.
“What does it look like, its sugar.” He shrugged. “It says here 150 grams. What the hell 250 won’t hurt.” He tipped the packet even more, grains of sugar piling into the bowl.
He placed the packet of sugar on the counter as he began mixing the ingredients, his delicious muscles working smoothly. As he worked, I sneakily picked up the packet and read the front.
“Kyle, you idiot, what does that say?” I showed him the packet and his face fell. I laughed when his eyes went from the bowl to the packet, he did this for what seemed like an hour (he only did it 3 times, what can I say? I'm a very impatient woman.).
He had in fact added 250 grams of salt to the cake mixture, not sugar.
“This is stupid who invented salt that looks like sugar, where they color blind or something and thought that the salt looked blue or something? Why why, I bet restaurants’ don’t have this problem.” He grumbled as he emptied the contents in the bin, I couldn’t keep the big fat smirk of my face. My food was going perfect. We had decided to go for an easy roast dinner.
But, since we are completely awesome, we decided to make the cupcakes first. Cause we are awesome like that. The first lot of cakes where already done and I was placing the icing onto the top. However, there wasn’t a lot since…well, um, I had eaten it all.
What? Don’t look at me like that, it was just too delicious. Also, we had no sprinkle because they accidently fell into my mouth. I know, I should be more careful. So, I decided to use Smarties instead.
I had one cake left and all that needed doing was placing the smarty on the top it took me a moment to realize that the damn smarty was not sticking. I smiled and as soon as Kyle began mixing with his ‘new and improved’ ingredients, I licked the smarty and stuck it on the cake. It no longer moved.
“Kyle this one is yours okay.” I said holding the licked cake up to him.
“What have you done it?” he asked and I smiled at him sweetly.
“What do you mean; I haven’t done anything to it.”
“God help you, if you have put laxative in it or something because you won’t be able to sleep in your bed buy the time I have finished with it.” I pulled a face at his words.
“No, it’s just I think this is my best one yet. So, I'm giving it to you.” I said in my sweetest voice I could muster.
He grunted and I stuck my tong out at him when he turned around, engaged in his mixing.
“Uh Kyle, how long does a chicken take to cook?” I bent down and looked into the oven where a huge chicken lay cooking.
When I say huge, I mean it’s bigger than Kyle's head huge.
“I don’t know, when it goes brown, maybe?” he asked and I shrugged agreeing with him.
I began cutting up vegetables, I even mistaken my finger for a carrot. I watched as Kyle leaned forward onto his tiptoe’s to put the big bag of flour onto of the top of the cupboard, his shirt ridding up showing his flawless muscles.
No Gwen, stop, no perving on Kyle in the kitchen when making an important dinner.
It then occurred to me that I have never met Kyle mother. When I ask Kyle, he usually clams up or pretends he didn’t hear me.
Weird, I know.
Now, what does Aunt June used to make her vegetables’ tasty? Ah, salt and pepper.
I moved towards the cupboard and pulled it open. I jumped away in time to miss the bag of flour that would have fallen on my head. I closed my eyes when the flour spreader around the room consuming the room in a white fog.
“Well great.” I said looking at the food on the counter that was now covered with white flour. And then the worst thing happened, I watched in shock as the plug socked flashed and popped, cutting the cooker off.
“No no no no, this cannot be happening! The poor chicken.” I flapped my hands about and leaned down to look at the chicken
“Aren’t you meant to say that when the chicken is alive?” Kyle asked, waving a hand in front of his face.
“Shut up Kyle this is your fault.” Well now, I wasn’t going to blame myself.
“How is it my fault? Oh Gwen look at me for a sec?” I looked at Kyle and was blinded by a flash of a bright light as he took a picture of my flour-filled face.
“Rawr!” I stomped my foot in anger.
“She’s a dinosaur!” he screamed and I threw a carrot at his head.
“Help me clean this up right now, mister.” I said and he smiled.
“You didn’t say the magic word.” He sang and I counted to 3 in my head as I attempted not to explode.
“Clean this up before I hit you in the tennis balls.” He swallowed and his hand went to cover his manhood.
Victory to Gwen!
He began sweeping the flour into the bin while I put the vegetables’ into the steamer.
I screamed when my butt was slapped, hard.
“Asshole what was that for!” I screamed looking at my poor bum that held a giant flour handprint.
He began laughing like a mad man; I smiled and took the opportunity to shove flour in his mouth.
He coughed sending the flour back into my face stinging my eyes. I screamed, Kyle attempted to scream but it ended out coming out as a violent cough.
“Ah, I'm blind, my eyes, my precious eyes!” I screamed clawing at my face.
“Wait. I can see, I’m alive.” I screamed touching my head and hair.
I can see, I'm not blind!
I looked up to see Kyle gulping a cup full of water.
“You shove it in my mouth? I could have died.” He rasped out.
“Damn, I'm joking, I love you really. Jesus Christ its Jesus Christ. He’s given us a sign!” I screamed and pointed to the picture of Jesus made out of the flour on the kitchen counter.
“Oh my god he’s telling us that where going to hell.” Kyle grabbed my arm dramatically.
“How can it talk if it’s a picture Kyle?”
“Oh yeah, right.” He let go of my arm and went towards the picture.
“The almighty lord himself can’t even resist me.” Anyone want to slap him. Here’s his head, feel free to slap him:
<( ^.^)> ß yes he does have big ears and a fat head!
“Enough, I think he is trying to tell us we need to cook and fast. Oh Jesus Christ the chicken!” I ran towards the cooker and got the cold chicken out, placing it onto the floured counter.
“Gwen, I don’t think it’s wise to Jesus’s words in vain.” I clamped my mouth shut.
“Kyle, I'm going to have to use your cooker.”
“I love how she demands, instead of asks.” He muttered to no one.
“Kyle, the lords not here, so stop talking to yourself. I will be right back, you tidy up the mess. Got it?”
“Yes ma’am!” he gave me a salute; I rolled my eyes at his silliness. He was such a kid at times like right now for instance.
“Okay, I'm going to save the chicken!” I attempted the superman voice and failed epically, might I add.
“Save this chicken.” Kyle echoed.
I grabbed the tray that the chicken was placed on, and made my way out the backdoor that was positioned on the far end of the kitchen. When outside I made my way to Kyle’s house, slowly.
Now, we all know how bad my luck is, and at this particular moment in time where I was walking, there was a slab that screamed ‘trip Gwen up!’ and you want to know something…it did.
I watched in disbelief as the chicken flew off the tray and began rolling down the hill.
Crap, we have a chicken on the run!
The funny thing is, I expected this from a live chicken; not a half cooked one!
Chloe.