Do not go gentle into the night.
RAGE, RAGE.
Against the dying of the light.
~Dyland Thomas
***
What are you going to paint Lexie?
A cloud.
Good. Good Lexie. Tell me. Describe to me how you'll paint the cloud.
Blue. I would start with a pale blue for the sky.
What next Lexie.
You wouldn't expect it, but I would dab the middle with grey. A dark grey, to create the background of the cloud.
Go on.
It will make shadows. And be the underside. Then I would add the white. I would put it above the grey and bring it down to mix the colors.
And then?
White. I would need pure white. I would clean my brush. Or maybe get another one. A smaller one that had thicker blend to it. And I would add the pure white.
Good Lexie. Good. Keep thinking of that. Keep thinking of that cloud for later. For when you get back to your paints.
Okay.
***
I open my eyes, taking in the surface of the concrete ceiling.
Clouds.
I envied clouds.
No one could touch them.
They were always so high up. So free.
I turn my head to the sound of the door opening.
It occurs to me then that I've not eaten in the past days.
I figured, since I've already thrown up in the room, Cal could handle any other of my body's fluids. And no one had taken me to the restroom. I ignored the smell from the corner. It didn't matter anyway.
The door continues to open until it's fully ajar. Cal stands there, smiling down at me.
I don't move.
Part of it is because I am weak.
Weak from hunger and dizzy from the pain on my face and in my body.
"Maya," he walks closer. He doesn't comment on the smell. His eyes never leave my face.
In one motion he is on top of me, straddling me.
I gasp and jerk away, shuddering from the feel of him. From the pressing weight of his body on mine.
"Maya, I've waited long enough."
I can't help it.
Even though I know it will make him happy, I still feel tears roll down my face.
He sighs and leans forward, scooping the liquid up with his tongue, the rough texture scraping away my composure.
"You are so beautiful when you cry."
I shiver at his words.
He rips away the rest of my coat, exposing me.
I thrash under, trying to get him out- away- anything.
But he grabs my hands, pinning me down and to my horror is pulling off my winter gloves, exposing my paint stains for his eyes to see.
He freezes when he realizes what it is.
I watch him, holding my breath and not daring to move as those green eyes slowly travel down to my face.
"What is that Maya."
My body is shaking.
"It...It...." I bite my tongue, the taste of blood filling my mouth. I can't control the trembling motion of my lips.
He leans forward, and grabs one of my hands, raising it so he can press it against his face. Taking in its scent.
"Paint."
His eyes turn golden as he looks down at me.
"Wolfs don't paint Maya."
Then they flicker. I feel my world crumbling down because all at once I'm transported back to those woods. That moment. That flicker. I knew what that meant.
And suddenly he's there.
Cal.
The real Cal.
The broken Cal.
He blinks twice at me, the haze of his mind releasing its claws from him.
And a single tear lands on my face.
"You're not Maya."
My eyes widen. My breath is hitched- stuttered. Uneven.
Cal lets go of me, his hands going to his hair in confused frustration as he grabs a handful with each hand.
"But...But if you're not Maya then..."
He takes deep uneven breaths, his own now matching mine as we both look at each other.
"She wouldn't want this."
It's the only words I can think of.
Unfortunately, it's the wrong words.
Those golden eyes spark up again, flashing at me in anger.
"You don't know Maya! You're not her!" His head falls on my chest, sobs wracking his body as he screams into me, "I need Maya!"
I feel tears of my own drip down.
I'll fight this time.
I slowly raise my hand. It's shaking so much that I almost think I'm having a seizure. A fit.
But I manage to rest it on his head and give a soothing sound as I stroke his hair.
It's not enough.
He raises his head and I know, as he looks down at me- it's not enough.
Without warning he backhands me.
I scream, the pain too much for my face and already broken nose. I feel fresh blood drip down from it because of the impact.
"You'll have to do I guess."
"No, please, please."
Begging. I was begging now. Anything. I would do anything to keep him away.
"Shut up."
His claws come out and slowly, rip away at my shirt, leaving me exposed.
He sighs.
So much like the last time.
This was so much like the last time.
"Maya was more beautiful."
He runs his claws down, letting them slide down the side of my body and create long shallow cuts before he snaps the middle of my bra- letting it fall down.
"Maya's breast were more beautiful."
His hands go towards my own breasts as he roughly kneads them with his fingers.
I scream from the contact, and throw my hands at him, trying desperately to sink my nails into his eyes.
He catches them though, looking down at the stained flesh before spitting out, "Ugly."
I'll fight this time.
I sob at my silent chant.
I wouldn't let him take me so easily.
Cal shakes his head, "Don't you remember the words I told you last time? I'm going to ruin you so that no one else will want you."
I moan my anger, sorrow, and suffering and cry violently as he repeats the words of my demons back to me.
"You are so-,"
His words are cut off by a sudden gurgle.
I stop and freeze as I watch blood pool in his mouth and drip down onto my face.
I scream, a bloodcurdling scream, when his body lands on mine.
Suddenly though his body is roughly pushed to the floor, the weight no longer crushing my lungs.
Atlas.
The thought is the first thing I think, but looking up, I don't see Atlas.
I see Daisy.
She is already wiping her knife on her shirt and putting the blade back in a holder that rests on her hips.
Silently tears fall down me, as she wordlessly approaches me.
Without hesitation, she embraces me.
It seems like the last thing anyone should do after what just happened to me, but I fall into her warmth. I sob at her touch and wrap my own arms around her. Not caring at all that I am naked on the top and dripping with blood.
I don't know how long we stay like that- me clinging and sobbing onto Daisy as the body of my demon lays cold and unmoving beside me.
I'm so sick urgh. I literally had to crawl out of bed to my computer to update for you guys (now I'm going back to moaning and crying in my room over how awful I feel)
Have a good day/night
Hope everyone enjoyed the update ♥