Duty, above all.
I believe in it.
It was this thought that made me willingly commit my life towards my noble job. But it wasn't easy.
The things in civilian life that people take for granted?
Waking up in a cozy bed every morning, binge watching movies late into the night, just relaxing in the peaceful silence the afternoon brings?
I had to toss them all aside.
Military life is anything but simple, even more so for a special force operative such as myself.
Because it required sacrifice.
Sacrifices I happily made because at my core I believed I was born for a higher purpose in life.
That is why I prefer to remain distant towards my family. Emotionally I am not exactly connected to any of them, but I wasn't entirely cut off and detached either.
I was able to receive a notice during the classified deployments about my sister's wedding, I really didn't know whether I could abandon my duties, the fireteam I commanded just so I could go to this....social event.
Then I realized, family is precious. I knew despite my absence from their lives they still considered me as one of them.
I had to return the favor, even if it's just for once.
======
So here I am, seated inside a wedding church watching what was no doubt the most important day for my sister.
Everyone knew what the priest was going to say next.
"You may kiss the bride."
Time seemed to take a brief pause as the Groom and bride sealed the deal with a kiss. An action I've seen plenty of times but never before done, sparking a small flare of curiosity.
"How much value is behind it?" I wonder with a slight tilt of my head, feeling more than a little mystified about the enigmatic display of affection.
The crowd erupts into cheers and clapping, eventually I join along by unfolding my arms to add to the applause, even if I do not enjoy being here, I do have to at least give them that respect.
The resulting staccato echoes off the white walls of the church, filling everyone with delightful joy on this special day.
My sister then throws a bouquet into the crowd, from the corner of my eyes a young girl could be seen, perhaps in her early teens frantically reach out to catch it.
As expected of wedding traditions. An amused smile would have graced my lips had I not taken the effort to maintain my current demeanor.
I didn't care to know what happened after. Shifting my gaze away in dismissal, I turn towards my sister and her husband with intrigue running rampant in my eyes.
Their faces showed nothing but absolute bliss as they wore never fading smiles, with their hands interlocked and with the head of my sister subtly resting her head on her husband's shoulder.
This view is the embodiment of what every person desires in their life, to find your one true love and spend the rest of your days together.
I am the exception to this rule, the odd ball.
That supposed epitome of life means nothing to me, having given up on that ideal long ago.
Love was nothing but a base ingredient for weakness.
I am a member of the United Nations Special Operations Group, what I am witnessing right now was everything I never wanted to become.
Marriage and intimate relationships are wholly irrelevant, not belonging to my vocabulary in any way. And it will remain that way as far as I'm concerned.
Satisfied with my inner self-affirmation, I focus my attention back onto my surroundings, immediately noticing the subtle expressions the guys nearby are making.
It is clearly written on their faces, they are no doubt smitten by my sisters beautiful looks.
Internally I scoff at them, allowing only a quick chuckle to escape my stoic facade, seeing the other guys so easily affected by beauty is quite tragic but also a tad bit amusing.
However, I have to give them some slack.
Married or not, her beauty is undeniable, her hair which she usually keeps in a pony tail is untied and free, cascading down her back much like a waterfall.
Despite all those affectionate gazes from the males, it is clear she wasn't at all affected by it in the slightest as her attention was more or less reserved for her husband.
"You made the right choice." I whisper to myself, happy for her as a brother would.
Civilian life is interesting, even from this perspective, but my way of life will always be superior.
======
The wedding ceremony went well into the afternoon boring me to the point where I questioned my decision of coming to my sister's wedding.
There were quite a few beautiful women here and there, and I've seen quite a few eye me up due to my physique. But I think nothing of it.
None of these ladies even know me by name, judging only by my looks. Would their opinions of me change if they knew of the confirmed kills under my belt?
Justified it may be, but a life is a life. I really dislike the way those women acted. Their shallow behavior gave me all the more reason to internally pummel them with insults.
Several hours pass by unnoticed to the majority as they celebrate this occasion. The thing that irks me was how carefree and ignorant these people were, it was as if the life they had was all that mattered.
They don't know of the classified missions the governments of the world tried to hide, United Nations Operatives such as myself have a duty that goes beyond our own personal sphere of influence.
Men like me can't afford to look away from the bigger picture of the world, we are not naive let alone ignorant.
This is my place in life, right here in the military, not in the civilian world. I've gone down this path far enough to know I will never be able to fit back with society, there simply is no coming back.
My dedication to military service will forever be the part that defines me.
===3 hours later===
Being the ever patient soldier, I was able to tolerate the social norms by wearing a fake mask of my own to fit in, fake smiles, fake compliments, the list goes on much to my dismay. This stupid masquerade made me feel ill to the core, I really don't belong here.
The sun slowly descends further down as the afternoon drags on, people begin to head to the exit out of their own accord, eventually thinning the crowd until almost everyone had left.
This includes the priest after he gave his farewells, with a genuine smile on his wrinkled face.
The moon appears over the cityscape, creeping up the darkening skies to signal the arrival of evening, I take solace in the silence it brought, turning to face the windows to capture the beautiful shades of dark blue the sky currently has.
I didn't say much if any words in the past hour, feeling like an outcast surrounded by a mob of civilians, making me wish I am still on duty alongside my comrades.
The only remaining people in this church could be classified as my family, whom are my only ties to the civilian life I once had. So much has changed since then, more so than I can put into words.
Mother, Sister, Brother in law, who are they to me now?
Based on my reflections, I know I still regard them as important to me. Things change, but my relation with them will remain as it is. However, my absence in their lives over the years has placed the validity of that statement into question several times.
As if sensing my lonesome presence, a voice called out my name. Looking behind me, it was Mom.
What does she want? I wonder, briefly puzzled as I walk towards the woman who bore me into this world.
======
She wanted to spend some time with her Family, which definitely includes me, to celebrate this big and eventful day and as much as I wanted to refuse the offer, I just couldn't.
I owe her this much at least. There's nothing to lose by being courteous.
Trailing behind a few meters, I let them lead the way into a nearby restaurant for dinner.
After getting myself a quick bathroom break, I made my way to the restaurant scanning the area for three certain individuals, looking for signs of my sister Catherine, her husband and my mother.
I weave through a couple of people and taking a few short turns, managing to find the wedded pair seated near a window over looking the streets down below, illuminated by various street lamps.
I move to stand next to Catherine and my brother in law.
"Congratulations on the marriage sis, John for what it's worth I'm happy for the both of you," I say to the both of them once they turn to acknowledge my presence.
I really mean it from the bottom of my heart, showing the two my capacity to still be genuine.
They shower me with radiant and confident smiles. "Thank you.."
After the congratulations are given, I take a sit directly opposite of them on the table.
From there, my eyes turn to the windows to admire the urban scenery outside.
My job as a UN special force operative meant I rarely have the time to relax and enjoy the peaceful silence.
Being a top tier special force asset made me extremely valuable to the higher ups, there was always that next assignment, mission or target for me and my team.
John Anderson, and now my brother in law is the first to break the temporary silence.
"So, Jerome," he calls out to me in a subdued voice, uncertainty evident in the tone.
I pry my eyes off the window, giving him my full focus. With my attention more or less on his uneasy form, I impatiently wait for the words to leave his mouth.
"Why do I get the feeling that you had the least fun out of everyone in the wedding ceremony?" He looks at me expectantly, braving my indifferent look.
I lift my eyebrows at his statement. "You could tell?"
The awkward tension on the table begins to dissipate as my sister joins in. "Jerome....you didn't exactly made an effort to hide your displeasure."
"Fair point Catherine." I reply in a solemn tone.
My sister sends me a look of concern, briefly catching me off guard.
I decide to rectify that, placing both my clenched fists onto the table to add to the no nonsense demeanor I have put up.
"Even though the media keeps implying global terror is on the decline, in reality there's still a lot of action going on behind the black tape, of which I'm part of you see." I begin, preparing to go into detail.
"The situation in Africa is anything but stable, I'm sort of worried I wouldn't be in any position to help, you know....being here instead of there." I add, hopefully justifying my solemn mood to them.
The responsibilities entrusted to me are numerous. The life I have is anything but simple, no doubt my family knows that.
But...
They don't know the full picture of my current job, and how it ensures the safety of everyone around the world. To them, I was still part of the 75th Ranger Regiment.
They don't know how many people whose lives I willingly put an end to for the greater good as a United Nations Special Force Operative.
But off course they don't need to know any of that, the mere minimum being said is enough for me to receive looks of understanding.
With that being said, I notice a distinct lack of a certain someone, namely our mother.
"Anyways where is Mom?" I inquire, my voice laced with a hint of curiosity.
"She went to to the bathroom just after you, as you know girls take much longer than us men," John answers with a slight smirk.
In response my sister lightly smacks him on the shoulder with a smile on her flawless face. Watching that exchange, made me feel at ease with the world as if it no longer mattered at least for the moment.
The corners of my mouth slides upwards, allowing me to give a smirk.
"It is one advantage we have over the women." I joke, finally deciding to loosen up, might as well enjoy this wonderful evening.
======
"I'm so proud of you Catherine, you are grown up now!" Mom smiles and continues to shower Catherine with well deserved praises. Warm sweetness in the form of words.
Being with family feels pretty good to be honest, I thought while watching the spectacle from the sidelines. How many months has it been since we gathered as one.
More than a year I concluded. So I decide to butt into the conversation to add my comments.
"Same sentiments here, looks like you are about to have a great future ahead of you." I say, giving what I hope was a dashing smile.
"Besides I have full faith in john to take care of you." I shortly added giving a brief nod to John, my eyes locked on his.
And with that being said we proceeded to order our dinner.
Having dinner didn't at all stop everyone besides me from actively conversing about everyday things, but I did occasionally join in whenever the conversation was directed at me, my answers are short and straight to the point, a clear reflection of my personality.
I am almost done with my meal, preferring to eat in silence when I feel my phone give off a short vibration, indicating I have an incoming message.
I shift my hips slightly to retrieve the phone.
Looking back up, it seems the other three did not notice me, too immersed in their conversations with each other.
Once the screen flared into life, I immediately tap on the message icon, being a little puzzled as to who would message me this late into the evening.
I have zero friends I have contact with...
The message appears to be from an unidentified number, further increasing my suspicions.
As I open the message, my eyes widen, causing a hitch in breathing as my attentive eyes rake through the contents.
---
Priority Code A-06-9394
UN special command hereby activates United Nations Special Force Operator code named :
Desert 01-20090913-Alpha
Effective Immediately
This is a Priority One Recall.
Please report to the nearest United States Air Force Base for immediate Transport.
Under UN security Protocol 15, you are required to delete this message immediately after it has been acknowledged.
---
"At this time, seriously?" I mutter, too surprised to formulate a complete sentence.
I had to take multiple reads at it, what the hell happened that would warrant the immediate order to recall despite me being on leave.
Based on the contents of the message, it definitely is from UN Special Command so that definitely rules out a prank.
If I am being recalled for deployment, the rest of my fireteam must have also received this order, our previous mission must have been given to local forces.
I am well aware that the fireteam I commanded is notable within the unit for mainly being assigned to unpredictable missions, often that would be in the African continent, where things are pretty nasty.
It made us one of the more accustomed teams to working deep behind enemy lines in hostile terrain with no contact with a command structure.
That probably is the main reason me and my team are chosen. I mused, for whatever assignment UN special command has in mind.
And here I was thinking I could use my leave time of four days to visit my sister's wedding and basically have a nice R&R. I should have known better.
The grip on my phone loosens, allowing it to plummet a short distance onto the table with an audible thud, catching the attention of everyone as they noticed my sudden change in mood.
Confused gazes are being sent to me by all 3 of my companions. With my mom's being the most noticeable.
With a deep inhale to push aside my reluctance, I begin informing everyone. "Not to sound....rude but I gotta bail out now, my leave has been unexpectedly cut short. I've been activated."
After whose words, the cheerful and relaxed atmosphere vanished leaving only silence and the stares of confusion in its wake.
I am a bit annoyed I had to cut my leave short but in the end, this is my job. I would rather die than to ignore duty calls, I have a fireteam to lead after all.
"Isn't there a way to cancel it Jerome?" Pleaded my mom.
I narrow my eyes in response to the desperation evident in her voice. "Not possible."
"Even if I wanted to mom, it doesn't change the fact that this is my job, I can't just ignore duty calls." I tried reasoning with her while placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, as her strands of hair tickled the ends of my finger tips.
With determination I am able to push aside my hesitation and force myself to stand up, with the phone firmly secured in one hand.
"Thank you all for the evening, I wish I could say more but....." I briefly pause, holding up the phone to show them the existence of the unexpected message.
"From the looks of the message, it sounds extremely important." I explain, hoping to gain their understanding.
"For what it's worth, I apologize," I say with my head slightly bowed, with guilty eyes cast at my own two feet as they begin to bring me to the exit.
Hurried but quiet footsteps enable me to quickly make my way out onto the streets. Sparing a glance up at the evening sky, my eyes can only see a dark veil of black.
The night has over taken the sky coating it almost black with only faint traces of red near the horizon.
Barely visible clumps of grey clouds loom overhead on one side of the horizon threatening to break into a storm at any moment.
That foreboding look of the sky combined with the evening chill makes my isolation seem more apparent.
My increasing pace brought me into a jog as I begin heading towards the nearest bus terminal, where I can grab a ride towards the nearest US Military Airbase about an hour away.
My eyes, containing traces of remorse were casted slightly downwards as I got into the rhythm of the jog.
"Duty above all." I solemnly whisper, attempting to convince myself I am justified in turning my back to them.
I didn't know why but the sudden urge to take one last fleeting look at the restaurant prompted me to unexpectedly stop.
Looking up at the second floor, highlighted by the surrounding darkness was the sight of both my brother in law and sister through a window. At first glance it was all smiles and laughter, most of it came from my sister. It seemed as through she was unaffected by my sudden absence.
But I easily see through the happy mask she put up. Living with her since her birth has allowed me to see through the cracks of that facade.
She is upset, due to my sudden exit. That revelation broke my stoic expression as the corners of my lips turn downwards.
But she has the support of others, now more so then ever.
"She is in good hands now."
Lowering my gaze back to the front. I steeled my resolve and continue onward.
No one is here to accompany me aside from the twinkling stars that hang above.
Just like the distance from me to these far off stars, the distance between me and my family can only be measured in light years.
The peaceful silence will hopefully wash away the guilt circulating in my heart. Walking away from the people I consider family is a hard thing to do.
But I knew, deep down in my heart, it had to be done because above everything else, I am a soldier. I will never forget who I truly am in my heart.
===US Military Airbase===
I went inside the briefing room, and sighted a man who had a calm and collected demeanor. Sporting a slight frown that continued to persist even as we begin exchanging looks.
The two soldiers who were escorting me to the room now stood outside, after they closed the door.
"Sir." I begin, saluting the uniformed man who looked to be in his early 50's who I am told would act as my liaison on behalf of the Airbase commander.
He looks at me with mild surprise as he sat on a chair across the table, reciprocating my salute with a curt nod of acknowledgement.
A brief flare of irritation registers in my mind, however I will not hold it against him. I assume seeing someone clad in civilian clothing doing a crisp and professional salute would incite such a reaction.
"What is it son? What is so important that you had to request a meeting with Air-flight Command so close to midnight." The man inquires in a no funny business tone.
Not dropping my salute, I recited my reasons.
"Sir, this is in response to an urgent recall by United Nations Special Operations Command." I immediately explain, as I felt his eyes searing my forehead with its intense focus.
"My Operation code is Desert 01-20090913 Alpha, UN Special Forces. Reporting as ordered in response to UN priority announcement Alpha-06-9394." I hastily add.
The aged man then gives me a surprised look.
"This is strange but, alright I'll have your operation code verified, then we'll see if you are the real deal...." He mutters to me as he tapped furiously on his military datapad.
After a brief silence, his eyes widen in mild surprise, sparing a quick glance to me. I can tell he now looks to me in a slightly more respectable manner.
"UN Special Operations Group, not what I was expecting." He remarks as he continues to read whatever is on his datapad, probably a Low-Level dossier about me.
Relaxing my salute I move both arms to my back, gently clasping them together, awaiting his response patiently.
I'm back to having that military mindset it seems, it just feels so natural after many years in the service.
After a nod he faces me, putting aside the datapad.
"Alright, you'll get your flight ASAP, and make sure you use the washroom, it's gonna be a long flight," He informs me, as he gets up from his seat.
"My... Destination sir?" I ask, almost apprehensively. The tone he used definitely implies something out of the usual.
"Antarctica....." he immediately answers, placing a hand on my shoulder.
My eyes widen at that revelation.
What the hell?
===End===
-Get focused on love and you will miss out on the rest life has to offer.