He has no perception of time. Everything was white, a welcome oblivion. The void stretched on forever, and he floated along with it with no resistance. Everything was quiet and at peace.
Then the scene shifted.
He was floating in an ocean, a manifestation of his grief. Lightning crackled above him, briefly illuminating the water before plunging into darkness once more. He was struggling to swim as the tide threatened to pull him down. The water was salty - salty with his tears. A tsunami wave suddenly slammed into him, and he was pulled under the waves.
Wake, voices whispered urgently. And the dream changed again.
He was in a forest clearing. Wind blew through the canopy, spreading the scents of the forest - pine trees, flowers. And rain. Lots of rain. The smell hung to the trees constantly, as if it were a reminder that cloudy days would never go away.
A blurry figure stood in front of him. He squinted blearly, trying to make out a shape, a form anything.
Ajax, it whispered. The entire shape flickered like mist in the wind. Ajax.
"Tas," he muttered thickly. "Is that you?"
The mist wavered. Move on...
An earthquake shook his dream. The landscape started to fall apart. The fog was sharpening. He could see Tas' face now, heavily burred but still there. He was crying. Wherever his tears fell, the grass would wither and turn black, smoking. Red stained the floor. Blood.
"Tas!" He shouted more forcefully. "I'm here! Tas!"
Move on!
The earth was breaking apart in earnest. Chumps of land fell away and collapsed into a never ending ravine. The edge was drawing closer and closer.
"I'm not leaving," he answered forcefully. "I'm not leaving you."
You must go!
"I can't, Tas. I'm not letting you get hurt again."
You don't understand! Red was bleeding into the sky like ink, and he had a chilling sense of deja vu. Get out! Get out!
"I'm not leaving you! I'm not losing you again!"
You've already lost me, he whispered. His figure suddenly sharped into focus. Bruised and battered. A hole in his chest, right where the Raptorik hit him. Wings practically torn to shreds. Eyes crying blood. He was mutated, horrified. As he watched, the ice blue of his eyes started to turn black.
"What's happening? Tas! What's happening to you?"
Seek the stone. The entire dream lurched, slowly fragmenting apart. White cracks pushed through Tas' figure, spreading out like a spider web from his heart, but he lunged forwards, grabbing onto Ajax's arm. Cold, slimy scales slid over his hands. He recoiled at the touch. Tas was visibly starting to melt, but he still grabbed on. The fire still burned in his eyes - the courage and respect he'd grown to know and love. Seek the stone! When all has perished and the land is barren, the stone will still stand...
"Tas?" He asked fearfully. "Tas?"
The cracks were wider now, almost touching the edge of his figure. Don't look for me. Whatever you do, don't look for me. The Harpy knows.
"Knows? Knows what?"
The cracks reached the edge. The Wildclaw let out a blood curdling scream, the ground shattered at his feet, and his dream was ripped apart.
***
"Ajax."
Cold air blew above him. There was something sticky and uncomfortable plastered onto his face. His bones ached wearily.
"I-I don't know how much more of this I can take. You've been out for days. They say you're in a coma, a-and that you might never wake up..."
The ocean pulled at him, wanting to drag him back down into its depths. He was already slipping again, but he fought against it.
"I - we've already lost Tas! I don't know what I'd do if I lose you too!"
Tas.
He could see the surface, the sunlight streaming through. He reached out towards the air.
He bolted upwards, breathing heavily, and Stella scrambled backwards from the bedside, screeching. "Oh gods! Ajax! You're awake! You're awake!" She threw her arms around him and practically crushed the air out of his lungs. "Oh gods!"
"Ack! Stel - can't - air - ribs -"
She quickly dropped her arms, taking a step back. "Right. Sorry."
"Wh... how?" A large amount of his vision was obscured by white. His hand went to his face, and he felt a bandage. "What happened? How am I still alive?"
"The ambush at the Croft." She pulled a chair over and sat down at his side.
"I remember that. But..."
The memory stabbed into his mind - screaming, fire. Falling.
"Wind mages saved you." She turned away. "Literally just in a nick of time. It was too late for the others though..."
The guilt, shame, and grief slammed back into him. Thousands dead. They failed to drive back the enemy. And Tas...
She hugged him again, and her tears slowly dripped onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" He cried. "I'm the one who lead them into that mess. I'm the one who's at fault."
"But you didn't know it would happen," she sobbed. "None of us did."
"No," he answered, another wave of guilt crashing into him. "I thought it was a trap, but I ignored it. I followed orders blindly."
"You couldn't do anything. I'm not saying that it was your commander's fault. But fate chose it to be this way -"
"What if I payed attention?" Tears ran down his face, and his wounds started to sting from the salt. He didn't care if he was seen. He was done - done with everything. "If only I payed attention to Sakura. She's right - I'm incompetent as a leader. I'm a failure."
"Ajax, please."
"WHY?" He screamed, voice cracking from the strain. Stella winced. "WHY, WHY, WHY?" He buried his face in her shoulder, practically howling.
He heard the hospital door slam open, and a quiet voice spoke. "Is everything alright in here?"
"Blowing off steam," he heard Stella answer. "Leave us alone." There was a click and the door shut again.
"How do you cope?" He demanded. He pulled out, his eyes and face stinging. "Do you not care about him at all? How do you keep moving on? How?"
She turned away from him. "I was never as close to him as you were, and I never will be. But I do care. I.. just have to learn to accept it."
"I'll never accept it," he seethed. "It's betrayal. I'll bring him back. I don't care how! And if you don't want shit about him, then fine!" He roughly pushed her away, venting out all his anger at once. "Get out of my fucking sight! I'll do this on my own!"
"You can try," she reasoned softly. She was still crying, but she met his gaze with unswerving determination. "But he's gone. Not even the deities have power to bring back someone from the dead."
"Then I'll find myself a Gifted! They have more magic than the gods combined! They can do something!" His energy and fight suddenly drained out of him, and he collapsed back on the bed. His head was buzzing. "They can do it, right?"
Stella had become rigid whilst he shouted, but when he started to calm down, she sighed. "The Gifted bloodline died out thousands of years ago. Most of the truth about them has been twisted around ever since. Do they even exist? How does a dragon have more magic than the gods? It doesn't work, Ajax."
"I don't care about their history. I just want Tas back."
She turned away, knowing that there was no use arguing with him. "Some people heal faster than others. I'll just have to wait."
"What on earth are you talking about?"
She closed her eyes. "You have to stay here. Your wounds are extremely deep, and will probably leave scars. I've tried by best to close them, but even so..."
"You used magic on me?"
She twisted her bracelet around her arm. "Just a minor healing spell. Only stopped the bleeding."
"Better than nothing." Fatigue was creeping up on him again, even though he'd already slept for Warden knows how long. "How long was a out?"
"Three days. I was losing hope."
He stared down at his feet. "And Sakura?..."
"She was livid. She wanted to cut off the allegiance immediately, but the commander hold her that it was your first. She finally called it off, although I don't think she ever wants to see your face again."
"Great." Tears pricked at his eyes again. "Just great."
"It was an honest mistake -"
"'I couldn't have done anything.' Yeah, you've already said that." He buried his head, ignoring the stabbing pain that shot through his face. "I'm just going to sleep."
"You've already done that."
He flared. "I'm just trying to rest so that I can get back on the field again!"
She froze, and he suddenly got the impression that he was missing something. "Oh my Warden. I forgot. I forgot."
"What? What did you forget this time?"
"You can't go back on the field, Ajax."
"Why not?"
She swallowed, looking away. "I overheard Sakura and Zane arguing the other day. About the allegiance. They eventually reached a compromise, but... Sakura wants you gone."
"And?" He already had a sneaking, terrible suspicion, and it was only confirmed when she met his horrified gaze.
"Zane had to do it. Don't blame him."
"I'm expelled," He whispered. No longer a soldier, stripped of his title. Suddenly, four years of his life had been ripped away from him as he realised that all of his training had been in vain. "Son of a bitch. That's it. I'm killing myself."
"DON'T!" She screeched suddenly. She lunged forwards, and practically dislocated his arm again, clinging on for her dear life. "DON'T DO IT! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STAND IT IF I LOSE ONE MORE FRIEND I'M SERIOUSLY DO NOT AJAX I SWEAR TO WARDEN I WILL COMPLETELY DIE -"
"Sheesh sister, calm down!" It was the first time he had actually acknowledged their relation. Slowly, he eased her back into her chair, still shaking from her outburst. "I'm just... stressed." Sadness enveloped him, and his wings drooped. "I need some time."
"They never found the body."
"Excuse me?"
"All of the dragons who died. None of their bodies were recovered. It was almost as if though the centaurs cleaned up the battlefield."
He wasn't sure why this bothered him so much, but he decided to ignore it. He sniffed again, and she sighed.
"If you ever need me..." She paused. "I'll be visiting twice a day, in the mornings and evenings."
"I... thank you." He turned away again. Their talk had distracted him from the pain, but it was all rushing back now. Everything. Eveything...
"Sleep if you need to." Stella stood up slowly, giving him one last look of longing. "Stay safe, okay? Don't try anything crazy." She gave a long, drawn out sigh. "We're both going to survive through this. Someway or another." Her voice was pained. "Please. Promise?"
He pulled the covers over him, turning to the side. He was still depressed, but with time...
He knew that he was never completely recover. Tas would always be his greatest regret. The bloodstained face of the deteriorating Wildclaw flashed into his face, and he shivered.
There was something else at play here. Something beyond what they ever knew. And he would do anything to find out what it was.
"I promise."
~Word Count: 1929
~Total Word Count: 16689