Chapter Sixty
I can't remove the betrayed look on Alex's face from my mind. The look of devastation, like I'd cut his chest and ripped his heart out. The image scars my mind and poisons my thoughts. Does he really feel this way? He should have known we wouldn't work on music together forever, we're separate artists and individual people. He's also in a band with members that are relying on him. This arrangement couldn't last forever, it just couldn't.
The sound of someone knocking on my dressing room door pulls me from my tangled thoughts. I place the make-up brush on the dresser in front of me, and then turn my attention to them.
"Who is it?" I call out.
"Nathan," he shouts out.
I smile at the sound of Nathan's voice. Grabbing my mask, I pull the fabric over my face and head towards the door. I yank the door open and find Nathan standing there with an arm behind his back and a large grin on his face.
"What's up with you? Why are you all smiley?" I ask.
Nathan bites his lip to stop himself from grinning, which makes me insanely curious to what's happening to cause such a reaction,
"Nothing." He shrugs his shoulders and points to his left eye.
It takes me a moment to register what he's trying to tell me – I've only finished applying one eye of my make-up, how embarrassing. Spinning on my heels, I dash to my dresser to address the situation. I grab the make-up brush and continue to apply the eye-shadow to match the other eye.
"It's okay, nothing I haven't seen before." Nathan sounds distant. As I look in the mirror, I catch his gaze. His eyes flicker away and a small smile appears on his lips. He then shakes his head and holds up the bag from behind his back.
"I brought food."
"What kind?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Well, I uh- hm." He scratches the back of his head, "Pancakes, ice-cream and syrup. I thought you might have been hungry and well, I like pancakes," he says.
"Starving actually," I correct.
Nathan places the plastic bag on the coffee table in the middle of the room and begins pulls the containers out and setting them around the table. There's a large container for the pancakes, a small tube of ice-cream and a bottle of syrup. I abandon my make-up and join Nathan at the coffee table.
Despite laying the pancakes out on plastic plates, it doesn't stop him from presenting the food in a beautiful presentation. He stacks up three pancakes, drizzles the syrup so that it covers the first one, which creates a puddle around the edge of the plate. Nathan then skilfully scoops out perfect ice-cream balls and places them in the centre.
"This looks amazing." I lick my lips.
Once he's finished, he pushes the plate in front of me and hands me a pair of matching plastic knife and fork.
"It might not be that hot, but I tried to get here as quick as I could," he explains.
"Don't worry. This all looks so good," I compliment.
"I think you're supposed to compliment the chief after you've tasted the food." He winks.
"You cooked these?" I ask, eyes wide open.
"Yeah, I kind of want to be a chef." He starts to get shy.
"How did I not know this? That's even more amazing Nathan." I clap my hands for him.
"Come on, let's just eat now." I roll my eyes playfully, and then nod my head. Picking up my knife and folk, I then quickly start cutting into the food. I shovel in a large piece soaked in syrup. It sloshes in my mouth as I chew into its fluffiness. Nathan should defiantly become a chef, I would support his dreams - at least my stomach would. I've yet to taste main courses by Nathan, but I bet he would be amazing with desert foods.
"So good," I mumble, going for a second piece. By the time I get to the last bite, there is a puddle of syrup left on the plate. My stomach starts to gurgle, and then out of nowhere, I burp.
My cheeks instantly begin to pool a deep shade of red. Did I seriously just burp in front of Nathan? As I continue to spiral down with my moment of shame - I curiously look into the depths of his blue eyes, waiting for some kind of reaction. Is he seriously going to leave a girl hanging here?
Nathan bursts out laughing. "I think that means; compliments to the chef." He grins widely.
"Well, it was a very enjoyable meal," I agree.
We both continue to giggle about my burp, and midway through his chuckle, Nathan rips out a belch that starts us off on a longer string of laughter.
However, the room drops to a deathly silence the second the door springs open and a flustered Ava runs inside clutching an arm full of magazines.
"It's everywhere," she says in a breathless voice. Ava struts towards us and dumps the magazines on the table. The top magazine is the first one to catch my eye - it's got an enlarged image of a blonde head girl walking down a hallway.
Leaning in closer, I begin to recognise the clothing and the similar face features. And that's when the lightbulb goes off - that's me, that's really me there.
My heart rate increases as my eyes continue to scan over covers after covers. More blurred out images of me walking around town, the hotel and even the airport emerge. As more images begin to pop up, the dreaded betrayed feeling floods into my stomach. Who could have done this? I tried to careful to be inconspicuous about my identity.
"This is terrible," I whisper, still not believing what's in front of my eyes.
"That's not even the worst of it." Turning to face Ava, she's biting down on her lip nervously.
"What is?"
Ava is hesitant, but I grab the iPad from her hand so that I can view what she's stressing about. There's an enlarged image of two people standing in a pool. From the camera angle, it looks like this could be taken directly from the security cameras. As I look through the list, I notice that the images used are the ones where I've gone off to see Nathan.
"How could they?" I hate the fact that there are these images floating around, but to have them taken from a place so personal - a place where I thought my secret would be safe. I'm completely gutted. How could they do this to me?
"What?" Nathan grabs the device from me and starts to look at it. He carefully scrolls through the images.
Bitting down on my lip, I pray he doesn't figure it out. It took Alex awhile to notice the similarities. Is it bad that I hope the same for him? His mouth opens, a puzzled look sprawled out on his face.
"Riley?"
"Nathan, let me explain," I say.
"Explain what Riley? How Sienna comforted my after Riley broke-up with me. And that it was actually the same person the whole time. I think it's already explained perfectly fine." Nathan grabs his belongings and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Stunned to the core, I stare at the door, wishing it would burst open and he would walk back in. I wish he would scream at me, yell. I deserve it. I wish he would do something to get rid of the ugly feeling from his system. At least it would be done in private, I would know what he's really thinking.
But I know starting at the door hoping for the impossible to happen won't fix the current situation unfolding in the world. What am I supposed to fix this problem before I get on the stage and perform?
"What do we do now?" I ask.
"You get out there, distract them. Centre the attention towards you and Alex. They'll forget silly reports," Ava tries to sound confident. But embedded in her voice is the fear of the unknown, and that's what scares me. I guess we were both really new to this job.
"Do you really believe this will work?"
"It's our only choice," she replies with a grim face.
Ava walks over to the dresser and grabs my make-up bag before returning to me. She sits down in front of me and continues to apply my make-up. I stare at the wall behind her and drift off into my messy thoughts once more - trying to distance myself from the possibility of the world uncovering something I fought so hard to cover up.
I don't notice I'm walking until Ava pulls me to a stop. It's now that I notice I'm standing on the side of the stage. From here, I can see the crowd getting riled up. There are hands waving in the air, camera flashes from different sections of the arena.
"You'll be fine," Ava whispers into my ear.
The stage lights are cut and I follow the other dancers onto the stage. Minutes later, the first song begins to play and I feel myself slipping back into the role so Sienna. I'm cool, calm and confident.
"Let the light run out - o-o-u-u-t-t
Cause you're not the same anymore.
You called me up, and I didn't answer.
You tried to tell me you loved me-e-e-e
But I see through those lies." As I hit the long notes for lies, the music is suddenly cut. I finish the note and then quickly turn to look at a confused Ava. She holds her hand up - motioning for me to stay put for a minute.
"Sorry for the technical difficulties." I smile to the crowd, "Sometimes things don't work out perfectly, and that's okay. Life is great at give people second chances, time to heal, time to think, and time to take action and make changes for the better."
There are some loud noises, which sort of sound like cables being plugged in. My nerves begin to settle down as I anticipate the music's return. I bet someone must have knocked a cord by accident. If I was running the production behind stage, I know I would accidentally rip a cord out – even if it was heavily taped to the ground to prevent such accidents. I'm just that kind of person.
When the music doesn't continue playing and someone's voice plays overhead, the same sickening feeling from the magazines consumes my stomach. What is happening next? Why are people bent on ruining other people for the sake of their pleasure or money?
Instead of reacting, I just stand there and wait, like everyone else. I recognise the first voice after a few words are spoken. It's Reece's voice from the interview today.
"What are you still wearing the mask?" Reece asks.
"Yes, why are you?" Alex finishes.
"Who are you?" the crowd begins to chant over and over again.
Like a deer caught in the head lights, I stand there with my mouth open. All of my calm composed is used up from the mix up of audios. I don't know how to react to a whole crowd of thousands of people chanting this out to me. I begin to shake, my body forgets how to move, and I just listen.
It's at this moment that I realise the most important thing. All good things always come to an end, no matter how hard you try. I couldn't always be The Masked Singer, because I am Riley, and that's the only person I could ever be.