private messages
smelly
TIME TO WAKE
smelly
YOU TRAITOROUS SNAKE
smelly
Ha HA HooHOO
smelly
WE ARE HAVING WORDS
junebug
are you on cocaine
junebug
it's 5:34 am
smelly
i know i slept in super late this morning
smelly
i'm exhausted from last night
junebug
just recharge your batteries or plug yourself back in the wall or whatever you it is you do
smelly
implying i'm a robot how clever
smelly
i can hardly breathe for laughing
smelly
you, june berthilde harmon, are a true comedian
junebug
not my middle name
smelly
be quiet june berthilde
smelly
HANG ON HOW DARE YOU???
smelly
STOP DISTRACTING ME
junebug
from what?
smelly
i don't remember now you soggy paper towel
smelly
ugh my head feels like a blender
smelly
this is why i always go to bed at 8:30 pm
smelly
AHOAHO WAIT
smelly sent an audio message!
junebug
it's too early for your threatening laugh
smelly
that's my normal laugh
smelly
anyways i don't give a hoot and a half
smelly
we're talking about last night NOW
junebug
yeah that's a good idea
junebug
why don't we start off with the fact that you ADOPTED A TURTLE WITH TOM
smelly
nice try judas
smelly
why don't we start off with the fact that
smelly
you
smelly
kissed
smelly
seb
junebug
concerned for my safety
smelly
WHAYSIOY HWI YOUS GONA DO THAT ANDNWOW TELL ME
junebug
concerned for your safety now
junebug
was that a stroke
junebug
should i call an ambulance or a funeral home
smelly
JUNE
junebug
listen it's not a big deal
junebug
he was drunk and we kissed once and now we're going to forget it ever happened
smelly
THE FUCK WE WILL
smelly
YOU'RE IN LOVE
smelly
HE'S IN LOVE
junebug
come on mel
junebug
it was just one kiss it's not like we're going to grow old together and die in each other's arms
smelly
sorry i could hear you over the sound of me booking a quaint outdoors venue for your wedding
junebug
my perfect wedding
junebug
which will never happen
smelly
june just take a second and think about this
smelly
you're stupidly in love with this man and he obviously feels the same
junebug
or he drank too many tequila shots last night
smelly
seb didn't drink anything last night
junebug
what?
smelly
he kissed you completely sober
junebug
how do you know that you were drunk too
smelly
well i kind of wasn't
junebug
you mean you hung out with tom and let him hug you and bought that reptile with him completely sober??
smelly
don't talk about my son that way
junebug
??? ???? ?????
smelly
tom and i have joint custody
junebug
you're not really going to send that turtle back and forth from london to sf
smelly
he's a tortoise
junebug
they're the same thing
smelly
junebug
i was starting to worry about the lack of memes in this conversation
smelly
junebug
nic is going to need so much counseling
junebug
good thing you have such a supportive wife
smelly
tom is not my wife
junebug
oh yeah?
junebug
then how come you assumed i was talking about tom
smelly
junebug
you text constantly
junebug
you've hung out almost every day in la
junebug
you literally adopted a pet together
smelly
junebug
memes can't save you now
junebug
we're all staying in the same apartment i know he slept over
smelly
kind of like how seb slept in your room last night?
junebug
on the FLOOR
junebug
plus aren't you seeing tom again tomorrow??
smelly
i'm just going to the set
junebug
tom hasn't even brought harrison to the set mel
junebug
this is a relationship milestone
smelly
smelly
i always forget what a great sense of humor you have
smelly
he's only taking me because i don't care enough about the mcu to leak spoilers
junebug
you DonT carE abouT the McU
junebug
remind me why we're friends
smelly
self preservation
smelly
each of your limbs would be on separate continents if you didn't stay on my good side
junebug
right
junebug is typing...
junebug
can you just admit you like tom
smelly
junebug
mel
smelly
smelly
howbow nah
junebug
that meme is dead
smelly
and soon you will be too
junebug
does admitting you like spending time with tom not compute with your programming or something
smelly
i don't know what you're talking about
smelly
tom drives me crazy
junebug
yeah he does
smelly
not that way i mean he makes me insane
smelly
all he does is smile and pet dogs and cook me pudding
smelly
i'm always expecting him to break into song or something
junebug
god that sounds awful someone take him away and save you
smelly
he's too nice june
smelly
what is he hiding
junebug
what
smelly
what kind of person has no flaws
smelly
who is he really
junebug
has anyone every told you you can be kind of paranoid
smelly
no
smelly
who said that
smelly
what did they say specifically
junebug
mel
smelly
what do you want me to say?
smelly
that i don't hate tom?
smelly
because fine i don't hate tom
smelly
i don't hate him or his scrapbooking or his little crooked nose
junebug
[deleted]
junebug
gee mel that's practically a declaration of undying love
smelly
i know i'm getting soft
smelly
this is why i hate making new friends
junebug
"friends"
junebug
you're a terrible liar mel
smelly
so are you
smelly
$56 says you're out with seb right now
junebug
why $56
smelly
that's all i have
junebug is typing...
junebug
fine we're technically out for lunch
junebug
hypothetically
junebug
in theory
smelly
WHAT
junebug
bye!! i have to go on a date with my ex boyfriend!!
smelly
read 1:23 pm
smelly
JUNE BERTHILDE HARMON YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT
read 1:23 pm
smelly
you limp banana peel
read 1:23 pm
AUTHOR'S NOTE: vroom vroom bitch i'm hitting the accelerator on every relationship in this fic. prepare for everyone to fall in love at an unrealistic rate