01/09/2018: #431 in Romance
01/12/2018: #367 in Romance
01/13/2018: #282 in Romance
01/07/2018:
Happy New Year everyone! It was a long, tiring and overwhelming 2017 and I Pray that 2018 will see some of my goals being accomplished. Hope you see them too!
I sat on the bed eating an egg sandwich which I had picked up on the way to my new place. Among a few other food items that would hold me for a few days. I couldn't risk being out too much knowing that the twins may be searching for me. Are they searching for me?
I seriously don't know why they would. How many times must I tell them that I wasn't interested in their proposal? That I didn't want to be under them? How I didn't want them controlling me, even though they said they wouldn't? But they would be -- at least Aiden would. He doesn't even hide the fact that he wants to control me. Does he want control?
I almost gave in. Only because of Brayden and how sweet he was to me. I felt he really cared about my well being. How he spoke and took care of me. I never really experienced a man being so nice and caring. At least without wanting anything in return. I shutter at the thought, shaking the memories of what those creeps did to me when I was younger.
Throwing away the wrapper from the sandwich, I stretch my tired limbs looking around at the small efficiency I was now living in. Compared to the Motel, this place is a step up. At least it has a kitchenette with a fridge and it isn't as cramped.
Looking at the alarm clock on the night stand I realize that I had to get ready to go help Mrs. Valdez for a few hours. I need some form of income until I find another job or jobs in my case. I know I can't go back to the diner or back to O'Mally's. The twins probably have their people watching over the place and if I go near it, they are sure to find me.
Sighing with sadness at the thought of not seeing Mr. O'Mally for a while breaks my heart. He is more than my employer and he has been so kind and generous to me. Treating me like his family member when I don't have any myself. Maybe in time I will be able to see him and explain. But explain what exactly? That his two very good looking and wealthy Godsons offered to take care of me for no reason and I refused? That I rather live in poverty and hide out from them because I want my independence? How I know he made sure I met them that night knowing that there might be a slight chance that they would fall for me?
Me. An uneducated, worthless, broken and used girl who is afraid or incapable of knowing happiness let alone love. How every time a man touches me, my skin crawls and I go into a full blown panic attack? That the thought of someone actually seeing past all my insecurities, doubts and fears truly scares me.
... yet knowing that the twins are willing to see past all that, puts hope in my heart.
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"Isabel, mi nina, me puedes ayudar con esto?" Mrs. Valdez asked while I was dusting her bureau in her bedroom.
"Of course. Where do you want me to put it?" taking the box that she had taken down from her closet shelf carefully.
"On the bed is fine. Gracias mija." stepping to the side to let me through.
Setting the slightly heavy box down on the bed I raise my eyebrows in curiosity. Turning my head to look at Mrs. Valdez, I noticed the distant sad look in her tired eyes.
Not glancing my way, she sat down on the bed next to the brown tattered box. Lifting the top off, I take it from her and set it down on the other side. Mrs. Valdez smiles while taking something out of the box.
"Sometimes I like to sit and look at these." holding the stack of what looked to be old photographs she let out a low sad sigh.
Mrs. Valdez picked up the first picture from the stack, her thumb rubbing the image. "I was fifteen when we met. I couldn't stand him at first. He and his family had came from Puerto Rico moving next door to us. He was two years older than me, one of the cutest boys I had ever met and he knew it. A lot of girls wanted him to notice them."
"Did he?" I asked as I glanced over the picture she handed me. It was of a handsome man with his arm around a girl's shoulder. It was a black and white photograph and it looked like it was taken in the sixties.
"No." she replied with a wider smile on her face. "He only noticed me."
"How long where you two married?" curiously asking.
"Forty five wonderful years. I was eighteen when we married. We were so in love."
"I can tell." I say still shuffling through the photographs. A lot were from her and what I am assuming her late husband. They looked so happy together. All the pictures I see have them either hugging or kissing. It was extremely cute.
"Radilio made me so happy. We had our ups and downs, of course every couple does from time to time but we never got too mad that we couldn't come together and talk about it. Our motto was, never go to bed angry, always say I love you even when you are not liking them at that moment and always listen to one another. It will make the marriage or relationship better."
"That is a good motto to follow. Did it work?"
She nodded her head slowly. "It did. We made sure we lived by it. That is why we were married for so many years." smiling again while looking at something else she pulled out of the box.
"Mrs. Valdez? Can I ask you something?"
"Claro mija."
Thinking about what I was going to ask her, I take a deep breath. "Was it hard to give yourself to Mr. Vasquez?"
Turning her head raising her eyebrow she asked. "What do you mean mija?"
"You mentioned that you didn't like him at first. What changed that?"
"Ah, I understand now. Well, like I mentioned he had a lot of girls pining for his attention. He was a bit arrogant because of it. He knew he was good looking and tried to make sure I knew it. He would try to rub it in my face about the girls who would ask him out and such things."
"What did you do when he would say that?"
Shrugging a small shoulder she says. "I would tell him about the boys who were after me." grinning after.
"Haha, I am sure you had a lot of boys after you Mrs. Valdez. Look at you. You are beautiful and I know for a fact that Mr. Gutierrez next door has a bit of a crush on you." winking and smiling at her knowingly. I see the way he looks at her when he is over here sometimes for lunch or if we are passing by him. He smiles from ear to ear.
Sucking her teeth she shakes her head. "Nah mija. Mr. Gutierrez and I are just friends. Nothing more." waving me off.
"Yeah, just friends." rolling my eyes as I continue to look at the pictures. "So, what did Mr. Valdez do when you would tell him about the other boys?"
Sighing out loud she says. "He would get upset. Then one day he really got mad at a boy who was walking me home. He pulled me by the hand and told me he liked me and was jealous of other boys who had my attention."
"Really, just like that? In front of the other boy?"
"Yes, he didn't care if the other boy was there. He couldn't take it anymore that I wasn't his girl." smirking at me.
I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "So he admitted his feelings for you because he was jealous?"
"Isabel, sometimes a man will let down his egoistic ways when the woman he wants is either not falling for his machismo or if he sees her with another man. Se endiabla cuando otro hombre tiene su atencion."
I nodded my head in agreement. Men do tend to lose it when another man has "their" woman's attention. At that moment I wondered if the twins would lose their egoistic ways to show me how they feel. Who was I kidding, they both already have.