During the summer, Tracy had moved her stuff out of her parents house. Kathy's father gave Tracy an apartment in the Golden Egg Plaza Complements from him. She would live there rent free. Kathy's mother gave her a diamond necklace that had a blue diamond in the middle. Tracy was just mainly focusing on herself during the summer and getting a part-time job at a coffee shop a few blocks away from the plaza. Her apartment had two extra rooms. One room was used as a little storage room and as her art studio. The other room was a guest room for when anyone of her friends stood over. She was given a drafting art table for her graduation present from her father and he also gave her a car... a brand new blue and black stripped Acura RLX. Her mother got her a 60inch plasma TV with cable and a new laptop for college and a new phone.
When the summer was over almost over, Tracy and her mother began to go shopping for her college items. She just Basically wanted to have everything ready for college. Tracy had to think about her new life and about her new future that awaited her.
"Tracy? are you ready to go?"My mom said as she came into my room. I nodded at her and we were on our way to the school supplies store. The car ride was silent, but i broke it "So, do you and dad miss me at home" I said as my mom gave me puppy dog eyes. "Obviously! your father misses you so much that he is even sleeping with one of your old teddy bears" we both started to laugh as she started to turn right on the green light .
"Yeah I know, he called me last night saying that... don't worry tho mom... you guys can visit me as much as you want." I stated as she pulled up to the store. She then parked the car and locked it. I grabbed my list out of my purse and started to look around the store:
5 marble notebooks
1 scientific/graphing calculator
6 folders
3 packs of #2 pencils
3 packs of college ruled loss leaf paper
2 packs of black , red , and blue pens each
3 white outs
1 pencil case
2 sharpeners
2 packs of erasers
2 five subject spiral notebook
That was it for right now until I got my art class supplies list. Mom grabbed the mini cart and put the stuff inside. I noticed that she was smiling at me.
"You ok mom?" I asked as she cradled my face.
"Your such a strong woman Tracy... your so grown, and me and your father are proud of you." She gave me a hug as we continued to go around the store to look around. Then, my inner tween came out. I noticed a beautiful book bag with rainbow strips and stars as the #LoveIsLove was on it. I took out my money and grabbed it.
"Honey, you don't have to pay for it, this shopping thing is my treat." I kinda felt guilty because they spent so much money on me. But mom took my hand in hers.
"I'm your mother baby,me and your father don't want you to worry about us or anything. We saved up plenty of money for your college." She winked at me.
"Mom... I'll pay you and d-" she cut me off with a don't-you-say-it face. It made me laugh. I then dropped that comeback and put up my white flag.
"That's more like it. Now give me the fabulous bag and shut up" we both laughed as we went to the check out line. I noticed on line 2 across from us on the other cash register, there was a cute brunette smiling at me. She had green eyes, a sexy lip piercing, and a tattoo on her neck saying 'Loyalty'. I started to blush as she winked at me. In all honesty, my heart started to beat as she smiled at me. But I gave her a small smile and turned to my mom as she grabbed the bags.
"You ready to go honey?" My mom asked me as I nodded slowly at her. The girl smiled at me as I blushed. I took a good look at her eyes, she had a light smoky reddish tone to them that mangled well with her jet black eye liner very well. As I was walking out the door she gave me a wink." I then smiled back and giggled silently to myself. Don't get me wrong, she was really cute, but, I'm taking a break from romance.
"W-what's wrong mom?" She's smirking at me as we put the bags in the car.
"I saw you in there... that girl and you made eye contact " she started nudging me as I blushed out of embarrassment.
"Oh stop mom... I mean she was cute-"
"Cute!? That girl was gorgeous..." my mom poked me as I closed the trunk and entered the car.
"Yeah yeah mom... she is but, I'm not interested..." I said flatly to her. I know my mom wants me to keep my mind open about dating but, I'm going to think of myself for right now... stress free.
When we made it back to my place, she helped me put my school stuff away. After she helped me, she gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye. When she left I took my guitar out of my closet and started to play on my bed as I put on the instrumental music of ' I hate you, I love you ' ...
Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you
I sang as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks...
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you...
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her ...
All the pain I had was pouring out of me as I kept singing... the I noticed Vanessa standing at the doorway of my room. She, Jade, and Judy had a key to my apartment in case of emergency ...
But I forgot she was coming over with food. She then sat next to me and sang the other verse ...
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you...
She sang as she looked me in the eye...
Friends can break your heart too, and
I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I nevermind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If u wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go...
I gave her a cute smile as we sang...
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song...
The next verse we sang together...
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her ...
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you'll never notice
That you are slowly killing me...
The next verse was my part ... Vanessa saw that I was letting all my pain out in this one song.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her...
I sang the last words as tears streamed down my face... the grabbed the guitar from me hand held me close...
"... I'm here for you Tray... I'm here"
She said as I broke down...
"Why did she hurt me so bad?!" I cried in her shoulder. She knew I was broken and that my healing process was very slow...
"I... don't know why Tracy... all I can tell you is ... life will go on... you will move on... you are a strong woman... trust me I know..." I then lifted my head and nodded my head slowly... she then gave me a cute smile and stuck out her hand.
"C'mon, let's go eat... I'm starving " she said as we both laughed and left my room.
I'm glad I have Vanessa as a close friend... her and the others have been next to me every step of the way of this situation... they are true friends of mine...
They are like my second family... and I love them ... it'll take time to heal, but for right now venting, is key to healing...
Chapter three coming soon my rainbows 🌈🌈🌈 !!!!
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