Assalamoalaikum!! (bhool gaye na mujhe?)
HEY GUYS!!!! GUESS WHAT.
I've UPDATEDDDDDD. Okay this chapter was a long time coming, and I'm so sorry that it took me so long but if you had seen my schedule in the past four months, you would've cried for me.
I'm really sorry that I am not getting too much time to update, I'm really trying to balance but in the midst of applications, studies and family, I'm just not getting enough time.
But no worries, I have updated this chapter. I make no promises for when Chapter 17 is going to be updated, although I do want to update by Ayaan's birthday. Comment if you remember his birthday ;)
Ab filhaal iss update ke liye ek chota sa warning: dil thaam lo ;)
Enjoy!!
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Sakinah's POV
"Aapi."
"Aapi."
"Aapi."
"Aapi!" Ayaan yelled. I looked up from packing my bag. I closed my eyes and let out a sharp breath.
"Kya hai, Ayaan." I glared at him and returned my attention to my bag. "Tum dekh nahi sakte ke main kaam kar rahi hoon?"
"Mujhe khaana chahiye." I leveled a flat look at him.
"Toh jaa kar kitchen mein se kuch le lo, maine lunch already bana ke rakh diya hai tum teenon ke liye."
"Nahi, tum apne haathon se laa kar do." He insisted, like an insolent child. I sighed.
"Ayaan, I have the parent-teacher meeting today and I'm already running late." I checked and re-checked my files before lugging the tote downstairs. Ayaan reluctantly took it from me before following me down.
"Tumhein apne school ke bacchon ki hi padhi hai, hum bhooke marr jaaye, uss se tumhein koi khaas fark nahi padhta." He grumbled. I smacked his head.
"Hamesha manhoos baatein. Agar school ka khayal naa hota toh aaj tak iss ghar mein ek nivala bhi na aaya hota. Chup kar jao abhi, main jaa rahi hoon, sham tak aa jaongi." I twisted and proceeded to the car, my movements hurried. It was too late, the conference was supposed to start at 9, and it was already 8:40.
"Ayaan, usse peeche rakh do. Aaram se rakhna, kuch gir na jaaye." I palmed my car keys and sat in the car.
"Kitne der tak aaogi?"
"Hm, chaar paanch baje tak toh aa hi jaaongi." I thought before giving him an estimate. He nodded once and backed away from the car, waving as I went off.
I reached the school just in time. Parents littered the parking lot towing their children who looked as if they could melt into the ground. I smiled sadly, remembering how much I'd wished someone would come for my parent-teacher meetings, yet there wasn't anyone there. Ayaan, Sabrina and Rizwan all had me to go to theirs with them, but who did I have?
I shook it off, getting out of the car and lugging my tote.
Get yourself together Sakinah, inn sab baatein doharane se kuch nahi hota. Bewakoofi wala kaam hai.
I sucked in a breath and walked in.
"Oh my god Sakinah, there you are." Kathy came running up to me the second my foot touched the ceramic tiled floor. My name came out funny because of her accent, with a longer emphasis on the vowels. I smiled and greeted her.
"I'm not late, why are you out of breath?" I walked towards my classroom. It was only five minutes to nine.
"There's already a parent waiting for you, he says that he has an important business meeting to go to and can't waste time here." My demeanour shifted the second I heard her.
"Seriously?" I whispered under my breath. "He calls a progress meeting for his child a waste of time?"
"Apparently so. Go quickly before he has a tantrum." With that she rushed off. I purposely took some time, feeling rather petty at how familiar that excuse sounded. As my heels clipped on the floor, I let my gaze roam, looking for Fauzia.
Bathroom mein apna make-up theek kar rahi hogi madam sahiba.
"There you are Miss Sakinah." A stocky man, dressed impeccably in a black suit with a white undershirt was seated outside my classroom, one leg crossed over the other in typical businessman fashion. I beckoned him in, without looking twice at him.
"Good morning sir. May I get your name?" I set the bag on my desk, pulling out the stacks of files. Out of my peripheral vision, I observed him carefully. There was a chill of arrogance surrounding him.
"Jeffery Johnson." A bubble of laughter rose in my chest at the plain name. I'd expected something else, for some reason.
"Mike's dad I presume." He nodded curtly, looking bored out of his life. I pulled out the necessary file and began reviewing the details with him. He asked literally no questions at all, expressing almost zero concern over the way his child was progressing.
"Mr. Johnson, I'm sure you realize that your child is growing up with a lack of confidence. He's so shy in my class that I find myself almost forcing him to say something."
"He's just shy, not retarded." There was a slight amount of venom in his voice and briefly, my heart hurt for Mike.
"I never said he was retarded, please do not twist my words. Learn to love your child Mr. Johnson, otherwise you and Mike will have an unbridgeable gap between the two of you forever."
"You sound quite knowledgeable about it." He peered closely at me through those beady eyes. I met him head on.
"That's because I know how it feels to have a father and yet be deprived of a father's love." I know that my saying that was overstepping my normal professionalism but his way-too-familiar demeanor was getting to me. My words seemed to have a struck a chord within Mike's father because he straightened in his chair slightly, eyes dropping out of shame. "You just need to extend a hand. They're children, they learn from their parents. I'm sure if you step towards Mike, Mike will run towards you." I softened my voice, explaining to him in a calmer way. He thanked me before leaving, almost in a daze.
Like this, the first four meetings flew by. Some parents expressed heavy concern over how their children were progressing, if they were at least at average, why the children weren't at the top of the class. I kept appeasing them one by one, pair by pair while remaining as truthful as possible, despite the pang I felt in my chest at seeing the parents' expressions to some of my explanations.
I rubbed a palm across my face, sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose. A headache was building up at the back of my head, the nerves of my neck tightening. Seeing no one else waiting, I got up and poured myself a coffee from the table kept for teachers.
"Aur tum yahaan khadi ho." Fauzia approached, snagging a biscuit.
"Haan yaar. Time se pehle hi koi aa gaya tha. Kasam se itna ghussa chada tha uss par."
"Kyun, aisa kya ho gaya?" She sounded amused.
"One child's father had come. The entire time that I was talking to him, he looked like he would rather be anywhere else." I fumed, gripping my cup tightly. "Aise hi baap hote hai, jo apne bacchon ki parwa nahi karte, khayal nahi karte aur phir bacchon ko apne aap se door kar dete hai." Fauzia remained silent, knowing where I was coming from. "Phir wohi bache bade ho kar yehi sochna lagte hai ke qusoor kya tha? Aisi kya ghalti kar di maine jiski wajah se mere waalidein khafa rehte hai?"
"Chodo Sakinah, ab bohot se parents se milna hai tumhein."
"Uss businessman ko maine samjha diya, ek hi sentence se. Lagta hai ke usse farq padha hai, par dekhte hai ab." Fauzia sipped her chai and looked closely at me.
"Kya?"
"Kuch nahi." She shook her head, the earrings twinkling merrily in her ears. Her gaze darted to the line of chairs outside her classroom adjacent to mine. A parent was sitting patiently. Fauzia jumped up and patted my shoulder before striding off in that direction, greeting the parent with a blinding smile.
I looked down into my cup of tea, lost in thought. The pounding in my head was only getting worse.
"Aisa bhi kya hai chai mein jo aap itni ghoor ghoor kar dekh rahi hain?" I frowned at the familiar voice and looked up. Shehry was smiling at me. I straightened up hastily, fixing my simple salwar kameez.
"Kuch nahi, tum yahaan kaise?"
"Maha ki school ki meeting thi aaj, toh Mama ne kaha ke tum bhi saath aa jao." He replied. "Tum?"
I opened my mouth to answer his question when I noticed another foreign lady seated outside my classroom. "Main aati hoon abhi, hm?" I excused myself and walked over to her.
"Good morning, I'm Sakinah." I ushered her inside.
"Tum bhi desi lagti ho." She commented, smiling sweetly. I laughed, my earring tinkling as my head moved.
"Jee haan, Pakistani hoon. Aap yahaan kiske liye aayi hai?"
"Maha." A grin spread across my face at the name.
"She's one of my favourite students. Such a sweetheart and a joy to have in my class."
"I don't know about class, but it's not the same at home." An amused voice came from behind me. I turned to find Shehry standing there.
"Shehry main ek parent ke saath hoon, baad mein milti hoon." I whispered through my teeth, passing a tight smile to the parent in front of me. A sudden realization occurred to me as his words hit me.
"Maha ki school ki meeting hai aaj, toh Mama ne kaha ke tum bhi saath aa jao."
"I don't know about class, but it's not the same at home."
The chair scraped the floor as Shehry sat down next to his mom. A reddish tint appeared on my face.
"Woh..." I was about to apologize when Shehry cut me off.
"Mujhe yeh nahi pata tha ke tum teacher ho? Woh bhi Maha ki?"
"Beta, yeh wohi Sakinah hai na?" Aunty looked expectantly towards Shehry. He nodded.
"Mama, yeh hai Sakinah Khan aur Sakinah, yeh meri duniya ki sab se khoobsurat aur azeez aurat hai, meri Mama." I smiled, a small pang hitting my chest seeing his love for his mom.
"Kab se teacher ki naukri kar rahi ho beta?" Aunty looked towards me, gripping my hands in her soft ones. I let myself give into her motherly nature for just a second before answering, fully aware that Hussain had filled her in about my life. As always, I was also aware of Shehry's intense gaze studying me.
Shehry's POV
I stared at Sakinah's hands in Mama's smaller ones. Suddenly a vision assaulted me, one that shook me to the core.
Sakinah ke haathon mein mehendi rachi aur uss mehendi mein mera naam likha hua. Mama ke haath mein Sakinah ke haath hai aur Mama usse meri taraf laa rahi hai, hamari nayi zindagi ke liye. Aakhirkaar, Sakinah ka haath mere haath se mil jaata hai, itne qareeb ke haath ke lakeer ek doosre mein ghul jaate hai.
Khuda ki sabse badi nishaani, uski aur meri kismat ka ek hona.
I shook off the thought as soon it came, focusing on the teacher in front of me. No use pondering on thoughts which give false hope and fragile dreams. Sakinah sat up straight and pulled out a neat blue file from the tall stack on her desk. She flipped it open and looked between Mama and me. Her demeanour shifted to professional as she addressed us as she would any other parent. A bubble of pride swelled up in my chest as I looked at Maha's high marks for the small frequent quizzes and tests Sakinah had taken.
"Maha is actually doing very well academically, so I have absolutely no concerns there. She's one of the toppers in the class." She paused before grinning and adding on. "Well, as close to a topper you can get in fourth grade." We laughed. "And when it comes friends and all that, she's a social butterfly. Sab ke saath acche se khelti hai, aur bohot hi pyaari bacchi hai. Bas ek hi cheez thi jisse le kar main thodi pareshaan thi, pata nahi yeh aap ke nazar mein aaya hai ke nahi." My eyebrow furrowed. "She's not very confident about herself. With everyone else, she's very confident but when it comes to herself, that confidence sort of fizzles out."
"Toh tum kuch batao, ke kya kare?" Mama looked worried. Sakinah gripped Mama's hands tighter.
"Aunty, fikar karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Aksar bache iss umr mein thode se sharminda hote hai, khud ko le kar. She just needs to grow into herself on her own, hum usse force nahi kar sakte. I just thought it would be valuable to bring this to your notice." Sakinah's tone was gentle, and lost any trace of the professionalism seeing Mama's worried face.
She's so young, how could she have been working as a teacher for the past four years? Doesn't that require a degree?
"Thank you beta." Mama smiled at her, prompting me to smile too. "Ab tum ho uski teacher, toh mujhe koi fikar nahi hai." Sakinah laughed, lowering her head so Mama could pat it.
"Koi baat nahi Aunty. Agar usse pehle pata hota ke main Shehry ki dost hoon, toh shayad uska confidence mere class mein aur badh jaata." I grinned, hearing her call herself my friend.
"Usse toh tab hi pata ho jab tum ghar aa kar mile ho uss se." Mama started. The smile melted off Sakinah's face.
"Sakinah tumhein coffee-" Fauzia barged in, her words cut off as she saw me sitting there. My eyes widened. Yeh bhi yahaan kaam karti hai? "Oh. Sorry, mujhe pata nahi tha ke tum ek parent ke saath ho." She turned to leave but Sakinah stopped her.
"Fauzia ruko. Inse milo. Yeh Shaista Aunty hai, Hussain ki Ammi." I noted her use of Hussain's name, smirking to myself.
"Assalamualaikum Aunty." She greeted, coming over and bending for Mama to put her hand on her head.
"Walaikumassalam, beta. Tum Hussain ki pasand ho na?" Mama's blunt words incited a fierce blush on Fauzia's face. A snort escaped my lips.
"Uska pata nahi hai Aunty, par haan, main Hussain ko jaanti hoon." She stammered, still embarrassed.
"Kya Mama, bacchi ko dara diya." I laughed, earning a glare from Fauzia. I raised my hands in mock surrender.
"Can you tease her outside, I still have more parents waiting." Sakinah spoke up from behind me. "Aunty, aur kuch poochna hai aapko?"
"Haan, tum dono ghar kab aa rahe ho?"
"Jab bhi aap hukum kare." Sakinah chuckled, closing Maha's file.
"Toh done, Saturday evening tum hamare ghar aa rahe ho Inn Shaa Allah." Mama's voice took on that no-nonsense tone. I hid a smile and got up. Mama and I walked out together after bidding Sakinah bye. I turned back to see her greeting another pair of parents, her professionalism back in play. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous in her simple salwar kameez. I marvelled over her and Fauzia's ability to walk into a flood of teachers with tight pencil skirts and fitted blouses wearing simple traditional clothes, sticking to their roots.
"Kamaal ki ladki hai. Mujhe tumhaari pasand pe naaz hai." Mama said casually. I choked on air, embarrassed to be caught staring at her so long.
"Aapko kaise pata ke yeh meri pasand hai?"
"Jis tarah mujhe pata tha ke Fauzia Hussain ki pasand hai. Halanke, Hussain ne mujhe khud bataya tha."
"Sakinah ke baare mein?" An unknown look appeared in her eye. I frowned, trying to decipher it. Just as fast as it came, it was gone.
"Nahi, ke usse Fauzia pasand hai. Tum dono ki pasand kamaal ki hai, dono hi bohot pyaari hai." Mama's voice turned mischievous. "Toh kab bata rahe ho usse?"
I stayed quiet at this, my cheeks feeling unbearably hot. "Pata nahi, Inn Shaa Allah." She hummed at this, silent laughter vibrating through her. "Kya Mama, aap bhi."
"Beta, tumhaari maa hoon, sab jaanti hoon. Darte ho na?" She took my silence as an affirmation. "Jab main tumhaare Papa se mili thi, toh mujhe bhi yehi darr tha."
I looked towards her, beckoning her to sit on the bench outside the school, near the parking lot. The wind blew softly, shifting Mama's dupatta around her shoulders.
"Batao na, kaise?"
"Jab hum dono mile the, shaadi se pehle ek hi baar mile the, par mujhe bohot darr lagta tha kyunki mujhe pakka andaaza nahi tha ke tumhaare Papa kaise hai, kya woh ek misaali shohar ban paayenge, yeh sab kuch chal raha tha mere dimaag mein. Zaahir si baat hai ke inn sab khayalon ke saath darr bhi jud jaata hai. Aur vaise, tumhaare Papa aur main nikaah se pehle faqt ek baar mile the. Tumhaari kahani mein yeh hai ke tum Sakinah ko jaante ho, poori tarah se. Uska dil, nazar, doosron ke liye izzat, sab kuch jaante ho tum."
"Main nahi jaanta Mama. Mujhe pata nahi hai ke aakhir kya hai ke woh itni darri hui rehti hai? Kyun uske aankhon mein ajab sa ranj hai?"
"Inn sab cheezon ki koi hasiyat nahi hai tumhaare jazbaat ke aage. Maazi talaash karne mein haal aur mustaqbil ko dao par nahi lagaya jaata. Main jaanti hoon ke usse bhi tumse mohabbat hai. Main dekh sakti hoon uski aankhon mein tumhaare liye behadd izzat. Ab sawal yeh hai ke tum apne aap ko uss izzat ke kaabil saabit kar paaoge? Darr par bethe rahoge toh woh izzat kam ho jaayegi. Itni si baat tum keh naa paaye, aage kis tarah saath doge tum uska?" She placed a comforting hand over my shoulder. I looked at her and hugged her, not caring that we were in a parking lot. She stroked my back, murmuring things. "Aur yaqeen karo, usse kisi ki saath ki zaroorat hai."
"Bata do usse Shehry, iss se pehle ke koi aur uska haath tham le." I mulled over this. "Ek baat yaad rakhna. Sakinah apni zimmedariyaan se kabhi bhaagti nahi hai." I frowned.
Mama ko itna kaise pata uske baare mein?
I cocked my head, observing the set look on Mama's face.
"Oho, ab CID ki tarah ghoorna band karo mujhe." She scowled lightly, pinching my nose. I laughed and stood up. Together, Mama and I walked towards the car. I kept thinking over the things that Mama and I talked about.
"Bata do usse Shehry, iss se pehle ke koi aur uska haath tham le."
Koi aur uska haath thaam le, yeh mujhe hargiz manzoor nahi. Aur main uska haath tham loon, main khud ko iss qaabil nahi samajhta.
Jo kabhi khud ka nahi ban paaya, woh kisi aur ka kaise ho sakta hai.
"Kis ke khayalon mein ghum ho bhaijaan?" Hussain pounced as soon as Mama and I entered the house. He sighed dramatically and flaunted a bunch of dialogues. "Ab toh neend udhne lagegi, saari raat jagne lagoge aur andar ka Ranjha jaag jaayega."
"Keedhe nikaal diye dialogues ke?" I said sarcastically. Hussain grinned widely, showing off his pearly whites. "Aur Raanjha hi kyun be?"
"Tu Majnu lagta hi nahi hai mujhe." He dismissed with a flick of his wrist.
"Chalo shukar hai. Tu sochta toh hai mere baare mein."
"Kya matlab?" He narrowed his eyes at me.
"Ab Fauzia ke baare mein sochne se fursat mile tujhe toh hi sochega na." I smirked.
"Bohot ganda joke tha." Hussain rolled his eyes.
"Tu toh bada Kapil Sharma aaya." I pushed past him and into the house.
"Shehry! What did Miss Sakinah say about me?" Maha jumped off the couch where she was watching some cartoon.
"Miss Sakinah?" Hussain wondered. I nodded at him, confirming his thoughts. Surprisingly, he wasn't as shocked as I had been. It was almost as if he expected it.
"She said you're a very bad girl who never stops talking in class." Maha's mouth dropped open as I pulled her leg.
"But I don't talk in class! I submit all my homework on time and I always get good marks on my tests." She whined.
"Nope, tumhaari Miss Sakinah ka kehna hai ke tum bohot buri ho."
"Offo Shehry, tumhein pata hai ke yeh rone lag jaayegi, toh phir kyun karte ho usse tang?" Mama scolded. I smiled cheekily.
"Maza aata hai."
"Go tease someone else Shehry. Miss Sakinah would never say that about anyone." Maha stomped her feet and plopped back down on the couch, crossing her arms angrily.
"Dekha? Naraaz kar diya na meri behan ko?" Hussain looked disapprovingly at me. I ignored him and knelt down next to Maha.
"Mazaq kar raha tha yaar, itni senti kyun hoti ho?"
"You always do this to me." She pouted.
Bade hi koi nakhreli behan mili hai mujhe.
"Saale tu hai hi bacche rulane wala machine. Rula diya na meri behan ko. Mil gayi tasalli? Thand padh gayi armaanon vich?"
Aur uss se bhi zyaada adakaar bhai.
Ya Allah ab tu hi bacha le
I pulled a chocolate out from behind my back and swung it in front of Maha. Her eyes lit up but she remained stubborn. Her arms slowly came down by her sides.
"You want the chocolate?" She hesitated before nodding vigorously. I tapped a finger on my chin, enjoying the annoyed look on her face. She got sick of my actions and reached out to grab the chocolate. I quickly hid my hand behind my back again. "Not so fast meri jaan. Pehle, ek pappi idhar, ek pappi udhar." I stretched out in full Altaf Hussain style.
"Ew. I can just get my own chocolate." Maha slid off her seat and walked around me, leaving me dumbfounded. Hussain started cackling behind me. I shook my head and straightened up, dusting off my pants.
"Badi hassi aa rahi hai?"
"Isne toh tujhe reject kar diya, ab tera kya hoga janab-e-ali." He wheezed out in between laughs. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to walk away.
"Mood off hai tera?" Hussain followed. I didn't respond to his question until reaching the top of the staircase.
"Nahi, off nahi hai, bas soch raha hoon."
"Mama ne koi baat ki?" My eyes widened and I spun around to look at him.
"Tujhe kaise pata?"
"Ghabra kyun raha hai? Zaahir si baat hai, Mama ke saath gaya tha toh Mama ne hi kuch bolna tha."
I scrubbed a hand down my face, suddenly feeling exhausted. The war between my heart and my brain was expending too much of my energy. "Sakinah aur Fauzia mile the aaj, Maha ki school ki meeting pe. Sakinah uski teacher hai."
"Teacher hai, yeh pata tha mujhe. Maha ki teacher ka toh nahi. Acchi baat hai par." Hussain grinned wolfishly. "Phir?"
"Phir kya, tu jaanta hai ke Mama kaisi hai. Kuch chupa nahi sakte unse." A thought occurred to me. "Tune kab Mama se kaha ke tu Fauzia se mohabbat karta hai?" He froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights. My eyes narrowed. He caught my look and sighed wearily.
"Gandi gandi shakalein kyun bana raha hai? Batata hoon tujhe. Aisa bhi kya ho gaya?" He muttered something under his breath about insolent suspicious brothers. I didn't think it was possible, but my eyes narrowed even further, until my vision restricted itself to a single slit of light. I widened my eyes again and blinked, letting my pupils adjust. Hussain laughed at my strange shenanigans. Suddenly, he turned and looked at me closely. There was something about the way he held himself that told me he was about to give me the shock of my lifetime.
"I want to marry her." My heart stopped at his words. I peered at him in disbelief, my mouth hanging open slightly. He was dead serious. The silence between us stretched to its maximum point. Suddenly, all I could feel was suffocating tension.
"What?" I breathed out.
"I want to marry Fauzia. I see my ideal life partner in her, Shehry, she's a great girl, aur Mama bhi usse pasand karti hai." Hussain emphasized.
"Maine yeh nahi kaha ke woh acchi ladki nahi hai Hussain, par itni jaldi faisla kar liya tune?" I wasn't able to fathom how he could make such a quick decision. "Qareeb do chaar mahine hue hai usse jaante hue, aur tu keh raha hai ke tujhe apni voti nazar aati hai uss mein?"
"Haan." He said simply. I stared at him, not knowing how he could come to the decision so quickly. Here I was, supposedly older than him, and warring with myself, while he'd already set his mind, and admitted it to himself. He must've sensed my inner turmoil, because he set his hand on my shoulder. "Tu jaan'na chahta hai ke mujhe kaise pata?" I nodded, looking up to him. "Sirf uss ke saath mujhe sukoon aur khushi milte hai. I've fallen in love too hard, and too fast but I would never regret it. Aur vaise, mohabbat ke baad nikaah hi karte hai."
"Par izhaar toh nahi kiya tune uss se." I asked dumbly. I mentally face-palmed myself.
"Mohabbat hamesha zubaani izhaar ki paband nahi hoti. Choti choti cheezon mein chhupi hoti hai mohabbat. Aankhon mein mohabbat ka noor jhalakta hai, dhadkan mein sirf uske naam ka zikr hota hai, uski hansi sun ke chehre pe muskaan aa jaati hai. Inn sab cheezon ke hone se mujhe zubaani izhaar ki zaroorat hi nahi hai." Hussain paused, a faraway look appearing in his eye. "Itna toh tu bhi jaanta hai mohabbat ke baare mein. Aur yaqeenan socha hoga ke agar woh teri biwi hoti, toh kaisa hota."
"Ek do baar-" Hussain interjected immediately, wagging his finger at my attempt at a white lie.
"Ek do baar nahi, kai baar socha hoga tune. Aur neeyat bhi kharab ki hogi saale." I punched him in the stomach, a gust of laughter escaping me at the sudden mischief.
I was about to say something when my phone began vibrating in my hand. Hussain noticed and looked down.
"Asad? Woh college wala? Abhi bhi tu baat karta hai uss se?"
"Haan, wohi. Aur haan, hum dono abhi bhi acche dost hai, zyaada kuch badla nahi hai hum dono ke beech inn do saalon mein." I cheered up at the sight of my friend's name and swiped to answer my phone. "Assalamualaikum, aaj kaise yaad kiya aapne?" I asked sarcastically.
There was no answer from the other end. "Hello?" I repeated. That's when I heard a sniffle. The smile melted off my face instantly. "Asad? Asad, kya hua?" The sobs continued harder.
"She-shehry. Hospital. Accident." My heart started thumping in my chest. Hussain nudged me, gesturing as a way of asking what happened. I shook my head slowly at him, panic filling me.
"Tu ruk, hum abhi aa rahe hai hospital." I mentally smacked myself. "Konse hospital?" In between sobs, he managed to get out a name. I grabbed my car keys and ran down the stairs.
"Arre Shehry, kahan jaa rahe ho?" Mama called after me. I halted and quickly turned.
"Asad ka phone aaya tha, woh hospital mein hai kisi wajah se. Main jaa kar dekhta hoon usse."
"Main bhi saath chalta hoon." Hussain said grimly, walking past me and slipping the keys from my hand.
"Khairiyat se jaana. Sab theek hoga Inn Shaa Allah." She patted my head. I smiled weakly at her before running out.
Hussain already had the car running by the time I reached the garage. I threw myself into the passenger seat, running my hands through my hair.
"Shehry relax," Hussain warned firmly, knowing that my blood pressure could shoot at any time. I leaned back and rested my head against the seat, taking deep breaths.
"She-shehry. Hospital. Accident."
His words bounced in my head. There was something so familiar in his tone that I wasn't being able to place, but thinking about the tone itself made my heart jump even faster in my chest.
A sudden nudge on my shoulder brought me out of my harried thoughts. "Relax Shehry. Tu khud itna ghabra raha hai, Asad ko kis tarah sambhalega?"
"Asad ko sambhaloonga main, lekin uski awaaz mein kuch tha, jo mujhse bohot qareeb hai. It's so familiar, but I can't place what it was." Hussain sighed, familiar with my habitual over-thinking. I looked out of the window, seeing that we'd arrived. Hussain unlocked the car and I stumbled out, rushing in.
"Asad Rehman." I nearly barked at the receptionist sitting at the counter. She looked so bored and I nearly ripped her hair off as she leisurely pressed the buttons on her keyboard, as if I wasn't about to lose it right there.
"Room 405." She droned. I raced to the lift, my heart thumping faster. There was a huge pit in my stomach, as if something was going to go horribly wrong. When I got to the hallway, there was a lone figure sitting, slumped against the wall. I made out Asad's familiar features, sitting with his head pushed down low. His hands were picking at a hole in his worn jeans.
"Asad?" I called softly, coming to stand next to him. He didn't even flinch, so lost in his own trance. He was wearing a crumbled white shirt. My stomach clenched at the streaks of bright red blood printed on the fabric. I looked around, to find myself standing outside the ICU. "ICU?" I breathed out.
"Kamaal hai na Shehry." Asad finally croaked out. He lifted his bowed head. His eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark bags underneath them. "Hum kyun iss zindagi ko apna hi maante hai? Kyun hum apna haq jatate hai apni jaan pe, jab ke jaan lene, aur jaan dene ka haq sirf Uss Zaat ke paas hai?" I reached out and wrapped my hand around his bicep, pulling him up and seating him down in a chair. His hair was completely messed up from repeatedly running his hands through it and his eyes looked so much smaller in his face. Tear tracks streaked his cheeks, disappearing into the day-old growth along his jaw.
"Yahaan beth jaa, main tere liye paani laata hoon." I turned, feeling my breathing restrict. I walked methodically down the hallway to the vending machine and bought a bottle of water.
"Yeh le, aur ab araam se bata mujhe, kya hua aur kon hai andar?" He gulped down half the bottle. "Aaram se Asad, you'll get sick." I gently released the bottle from his grasp and set it down near him, waiting patiently.
"Hadiya." Her name left his tongue on a whisper, tears instantly brimming in his eyes. My heart stopped, as something within me broke.
Hadiya Usman was that girl who brightened everyone's world with just a smile. Never had I ever seen her with less than a smile on her face, despite the troubles she faced. She worked endlessly to help support her parents by taking on two jobs along with school to bring in another income. She'd been one of my good friends but for Asad, she was his best friend. No one in this world knew him better than her, and no one knew her better than him. Hadiya was the only one he had left in this world.
"Hum ghoomne ke liye bahir gaye the, aur woh road cross kar rahi thi jab ek gaadi-" He broke down, unable to finish his sentence. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tight against me as he sobbed uncontrollably. Tears rushed into my eyes seeing Asad break down like this. In the five years of our friendship, I'd never seen him in such a state, ever.
Par shayad iski wajah bhi Hadiya thi. Jab woh Asad ke paas hoti hai, tab hi sab sahi lagta hai usko.
Suddenly, he stood up, shoving me away harshly. I coughed, still reeling from the sudden pressure on my sternum.
"Kyun mera Khuda mujhse sab chheen raha hai? Pehle Papa, phir Mama, aur ab, Hadiya bhi. Kis gunaah ki saza bhugat raha hoon main? Mujh par reham kyun nahi barsaata Woh? Kyun mujhe itni takleef mein dekh kar bhi khamosh hai?" Whatever had broken inside me earlier, dug into my insides. I felt so helpless, unable to comfort him at all.
Hussain kahan reh gaya?
"Aisa nahi kehte Asad." I said lowly, wary of his emotional anger. Pain and sorrow seeped from every pore of his skin. The bruise on my chest throbbed. "Allah sab ki madad zaroor karta hai, aur yaqeenan teri bhi karega, aur Hadiya ki bhi. Uski reham se moo mat phero Asad." He pushed a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging hard on the strands, as if he could pull all his pain out root by root.
"Woh ladki hai na, andar, jo bistar pe padhi hai?" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the window of the ICU. My jaw clenched, seeing Hadiya connected to different wires and an oxygen mask, filtering artificial life into her. Her hair was spread out on the pillow and her skin had turned pasty white. Nurses flitted around the bet. Asad stabbed the window with his finger, compelling me to look at him. "Woh ladki filhaal maut aur hayat ke darmiyaan qaid hai. Shayad woh kabhi uthe bhi na. Shayad iss waqt, woh apni aakhri saansein le rahi ho. Shayad woh coma mein chali jaaye. Kuch nahi pata humein, ke kya hoga. Aur yehi ghair-yaqeeni khayalaat mujhe chain se jeene nahi dete." I bit my lip and looked away from the window. Asad paused, taking a deep breath. He lifted his hand and placed his palm flat on the glass. Seeing this action, I remembered something.
"Asad, pakde gaye toh woh khadoos maar daalega, tujhe bhi aur mujhe bhi." I whispered harshly as we sneaked out of the class. Finding an empty class, we took a seat on the ground.
"Chal chal, kuch nahi hota."
"Kya kuch nahi hota, agar pakde gaye aur yeh khabar ghar tak gayi toh sir maare ya na maare, Papa ke haath zaroor zaya ho jaana hai maine."
Asad clicked his tongue. "Kitna overreact karta hai tu. Chal ab rona band kar."
"Royega tu saale. Paani de." He tossed his water bottle. I gulped out a heavy amount and tossed it back.
A knock on the window made the two of us jump. We exchanged looks and looked upwards, where we were still hidden from view.
"Yeh kon tha?" Asad whispered. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Mujhe kaise pata hoga? Tune toh kaha tha ke kuch nahi hota." Slowly, we placed our hands on the desk above us and rose so only our eyes were seen. Hadiya came into view, tapping her finger on the window sill, smirking at us. We gaped at her with our eyes wide open before shaking ourselves out of it.
I punched Asad in the shoulder. "Phatti na teri?" He shrugged me off and glared at me before walking over to the window where Hadiya was.
"Jab Hadiya hai toh mujhe kuch nahi ho sakta." Hadiya must've heard him through the thin glass because she laughed, a light blush framing her features. Asad lifted his hand and placed it flat on the glass. She looked down with a wide smile before lifting her own hand and placing it against his. Asad chuckled and turned towards me.
"Yehi ek ishaara hum bachpan se karte aa rahe hai. Ek waqt pe hamara signal hua karta tha."
"Kis cheez ka signal?" I loved their childhood story. Asad and Hadiya were lucky to have known each other for such a long time.
"Ke main yahaan hoon, chahe koi aur ho na ho."
"Aur issi ladki se mujhe ishq hai." He said softly, a sharp contrast to the fiery words he'd said only a second earlier. My head spun to look back at him. His attention was focused on her, a sorrowful smile teasing his lips.
"Ishq?"
He spoke without looking at me. "Haan ishq. Maine uss se kabhi zikr nahi kiya iss baare mein. Par ab, jab woh khud apni jaan ke liye ladh rahi hai, mujhe ehsaas ho raha hai ke main kitna ghalat tha. Mujhe usse pehle bata dena chahiye tha. Iss liye nahi, kyunki mujhe paane ki umeed thi, ya phir main apni mohabbat ka ailaan karna chahta tha. Par iss liye bata dena chahiye tha, kyunki kal ka koi bharosa nahi hai. Aaj hum hai, kal koi aur." My heart started racing at his words. I looked back at the hospital bed and suddenly, I wasn't seeing Hadiya there.
Sakinah
I saw Sakinah lying on the hospital bed, bound by those wires. I saw Ayaan, Rizwan and Sabrina slumped over each other on the empty line of chairs, looking as if their souls had been removed from their bodies. I saw Fauzia pacing back and forth in front of the doctor's cabin, Hussain trying to comfort her.
I turned and then I saw myself.
I saw myself sitting on the ground, arms wrapped around my knees, rocking back and forth. I couldn't even recognize the state I was in.
Hair completely messed up, beard grown out, eyes sunken and tired, mouth bent downwards into a frown, wrinkles creased across my face. I looked like a modern day Devdas.
Ya Allah, I can only imagine the pain Asad is going through right now. Tu uski madad farma mere Rabb. Uske liye behtri maangta hoon main. Hadiya ko shifa ata farma de mere Rabb. Aur hum sab pe apna karam farma. Ameen.
I shook myself out my stupor. I was here for Asad, and here I'm going off on my own rampage.
"Are you two here for Miss Hadiya?" We turned at the sound of Hadiya's name. Asad nodded as a doctor stepped out from his cabin, beckoning us inside. I hesitated, unsure of where to go. Asad looked back at me, pleading with his eyes. I nodded in response and walked in with them.
"Hi, I'm Dr. White. I am handling Miss Hadiya's case."
"Asad Rehman and this is Shehryaar Asif." We shook hands with him. He looked to be a middle-aged man, with the first greys appearing in the hair at his temples.
"How is she?" I asked, seeing Asad in no state to talk. He sighed and flipped through a few pages on his desk, creating a steeple with his fingertips underneath his chin.
"She's in a very critical stage right now, and we cannot guarantee a full recovery. She can also go into a coma." I saw a shudder wrack Asad's body at the words as his worst fears were confirmed. I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dr. White set a few files in front of us. I leaned closer to get a better look. They were x-rays of her head and her broken arm. "Her arm will make a full recovery, I am confident about this. But do you see this?" He pointed at a spot on the x-ray. "That's where there is a heavy injury, and because of this, she could face retrograde amnesia, along with speech problems."
"What else?" Asad croaked, a dead tone to his voice that sent chills down my spine.
Dr. White observed him carefully. "Look Mr. Rehman, we are trying-" Asad cut him off.
"That's not what I asked you."
"Listen-" Dr. White tried to speak but Asad cut him off again.
"I am asking you something." His tone was low and dangerous. I sensed the fast rage burning through him and quickly intervened.
"What are the full extent of her injuries?" I asked quietly. Dr. White gave a long look at Asad before turning his attention to me, deeming me as the most stable conversationalist between the two of us.
"With the force of the car's impact, she was hit in her right kidney and now, there's a blood clot there. This is the computed tomography for that." He showed us another glossy sheet of x-ray." I noticed a visible bump on one of the veins of the kidneys. "This is a blunt injury so thankfully, nothing had penetrated. But this blood clot can prove to be fatal as it will end up blocking the entire vein, so we do need to remove it, as soon as possible."
"How?"
"Her body is not responding to the oral and intravenous anticoagulant treatments normally used to remove clots, so we need to surgically remove the clot from her renal vein. This surgery is done very rarely, and normally as a last resort."
"What are the risks?" Dr. White stayed quiet.
"This procedure has a low success rate, mostly because it's not used anymore. However, to remove that clot, we have no other option but to go in for immediate surgery. I have already called our nephrologist, who will be operating on Miss Hadiya. The only thing remaining is the permission forms, should you choose to go through with the surgery." He set down yet a few more papers in front of us. I turned towards Asad, observing the lost expression on his face.
"Asad sun, hamare paas aur koi raasta nahi hai. Yeh surgery bohot important hai Hadiya ke liye."
"Par low success rate? Agar usse kuch ho gaya toh?"
"Tune suna nahi doctor ne kya kaha? Agar yeh surgery nahi hui toh uski haalat aur bhi bigad sakti hai, tu kyun samajh nahi raha? Yeh risk lena hi padega." A fleeting thought occurred to me. "Tune Uncle Aunty ko phone kiya?"
"Nahi. Abhi nahi. Yaad nahi tha."
"Chodo, abhi waqt nahi hai hamare paas Asad. Just sign the papers." He looked up, a lone tear tracking a path down his face. I reached for the papers and handed them to Asad. He looked at them blankly before standing up and leaving the room. I stared at his back.
"Mr. Asif," He said, elongating the vowel. I turned towards him. "We are trying our level best, but it's not always in our hands. We doctors are not God, nor are we death's angels. We can only hope, and try. That's all."
"I know, and Asad knows it too. I apologize for his harsh reaction. It's just that," I paused. "That girl is his everything, he's scared to lose her. That's why he's reacting like that. He didn't mean to disrespect you but..." I trailed off, seeing something in his face soften.
"He loves her." Dr. White simply stated. I nodded, feeling my friend's pain. "This nephrologist is one of the best in the country, I myself have personally known her for ten years. She's going to operate on Miss Hadiya."
"Thank you doctor." I said before retreating back to where Asad was sitting. He was staring at the flimsy sheets in his hand, incessantly clicking a pen.
"Bhar diye?"
"Nahi. Soch raha hoon, kis rishte se bharoon?" I freed the papers from his grasp and looked over them. The first question asked after the patient's personal details was 'relationship to patient.'
"Friend likh de."
"Tu bhar de yeh forms." He passed me the pen and sat quietly, linking his hands together in his lap. I looked down at the papers in my hands.
Yeh dost bhi nahi likh paa raha. Kyun ki inn dono ke beech jo rishta hai, woh dosti se kai bhadh kar hai.
Quickly I filled in all the required information and got up to knock on Dr. White's door.
"Here you go." I passed him the forms. He quickly assessed it before nodding once.
"We'll prepare her for surgery. You'll have to arrange for blood, as she has already lost a lot due to the accident, and the anticoagulant treatments." He thumped me on the shoulder once before exiting. I remained standing, mind reeling at the severity of all of this. My phone rung in my pocket, pulling me back down to Earth.
"Haan Hussain, bol."
"Kya hua hai?"
"Hadiya ka accident hua tha. Ab usse surgery ke liye le jaa rahe hai." I ran a hand through my hair. "Tu kahan ghayab ho gaya?"
"Kahin nahi, main parking mein hi betha hoon. Tera khatam ho jaaye toh mujhe phone kar lena."
"Tu bhi upar hi aa jaa. Room 405." I instructed before hanging up. Not thirty seconds had passed and Mama's call came through.
"Ji Mama." I said. There was silence on the other end for a split second before Mama spoke.
"Beta, Asad kaisa hai?"
"Woh toot chuka hai, phir bhi khud ko sambhal raha hai." I answered, worrying my bottom lip. "Hadiya Usman yaad hai aapko? Uska accident hua hai, doctors keh rahe hai ke critical hai."
"Ya Allah reham." Mama gasped. I heard her murmur a few prayers underneath her breath. "Hum wahan aa jaayein? Asad ke toh waalidein bhi nahi hai, jo sahara ban sakte hai uske liye."
"Nahi, abhi nahi. Aap kal aa jaayein. Abhi toh woh behaal betha hai bahir, main doctor se milne aaya tha. Pata nahi kahan kho gaya hai."
"Tum uske saath rehna aur kisi bhi cheez ki zaroorat ho, toh mujhe foran batao." She instructed me, similar to the way I had instructed Hussain only minutes back.
"Ji Mama. Abhi rakhta hoon, Allah Hafiz."
"Allah Hafiz." I hung up and retreated outside to where Hussain was now sitting quietly on the line of chairs across Asad. I took the seat next to Asad.
"Mr. Asif." Dr. White approached me with an elderly woman in tow. "This is Dr. Abigail. She is the nephrologist who will be operating on Miss Hadiya." I shook hands with her and motioned towards Hussain, who'd gotten out of his chair.
"This is my brother, Hussain."
"Doctor what is the risk factor?" Asad threw the question at Dr. Abigail. She carried herself in a regal manner, with an air of quiet confidence. My heart settled, gaining hope that Hadiya was in good hands
She remained silent, before looking up at him. "There is a high risk, I will not lie. Hadiya is a young, healthy girl, so I do have confidence that after this surgery, she will recover fairly easily. It will take time though, and her accident has also brought out other complications which, I believe Dr. White briefed you about earlier." Asad shut his eyes and took in a single deep breath, nodding.
"Okay." He said, just as the nurses rolled Hadiya out on a stretcher. The three of us ran over to her stretcher before they rolled her away. For some strange reason, she seemed more ghastly lying here without the multiple tubing. Her dark hair was a stark contrast against the bright white of the bed sheets, dangling over the edge of the stretcher. Her lips had whitened to a light pink, almost dissolving into the colourless complexion of her skin. It wasn't like her to see Asad and not smile. The thought made my heart ache for him.
"Hadiya utho na." Asad begged. "Bas ek baar dekh lo na meri taraf. Asad ko chod kar chali jaogi? Tum mujhe yoon akela hi chod dogi?"
"Asad relax." Hussain put a hand on Asad's shoulder, as we walked along with the stretcher. Asad was bent over Hadiya's form, trying to get her to say something, anything. His cold hand was pressed into her even colder one.
"Sir you can't come in here." The nurse stopped Asad as he tried to continue into the operation theatre. He opened his mouth to protest but the nurse disappeared inside without a further word to him. Seconds later, we heard the tell-tale ping of the bulb above the OT. The red light cast a dark shadow on Asad's hard features.
"She didn't even smile once at me." The words tumbled out of Asad's mouth, as if against his will. "Shayad meri taraf ek baar dekh leti, toh usse keh deta, ke main kitna chahta hoon usse. Par usne toh aankhein hi nahi khole."
"Tu jaanta hai ke Hadiya sun rahi thi, bas jawab nahi de paayi."
"Tu nahi samajhta Shehry, Hadiya hamesha mujhe jawab deti hai. Ya toh koi ishaara ke zariye, ya phir apni zubaan se kuch kehti hai. Par mujhe iss tarah bebas kabhi nahi chodti."
Hussain stepped forward and lowered Asad into the first seat next to the operation room. "Dua karo Asad. Inn sab baton pe ghor karne se behtar hai ke hum apna dukh uss Rabb ke hawale kar de." He shut his eyes and began to pray feverently underneath his breath.
We paced outside the OT for three hours. In between, Asad had called up Hadiya's parents who were on their way. They had gone to visit a friend that lived an hour away while Hadiya was out with Asad. Finally, someone came out.
"Is there anyone with O negative blood between you three?"
"I do." Asad stepped up, already rolling his sleeve up. The nurse looked taken aback with his fast response but ushered him inside, seemingly assuming he already knew what was required of him.
"Ya Allah, Asad se koi aur mat chheen'na." I whispered at his back. My shoulders slumped.
"Kahan hai meri beti?" I turned at the sound of a woman wailing from behind, recognizing her voice as Hadiya's mom.
"Operation ke liye andar le gaye hai Chachi." I walked over to her. She looked at me at with swollen eyes. My heart clenched at seeing a mother with tears in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her panicked form. "Aap fikar na karein, woh jald theek ho jaayegi, Inn Shaa Allah."
"Kya hua hai usse?" Chacha spoke up, resting a hand on Chachi's shoulder. His own eyes were bloodshot, and his hand was visibly shaking. Hussain stepped up and grasped Chacha's free hand tightly in his own, guiding him to sit down on the chair. I lowered Chachi and myself onto the bench as she cried on my chest.
"Chachi mat royein. Aap uske liya dua kijiye, woh zaroor theek ho jaayegi. Abhi naachte naachte baahir niklegi ER se." Chachi gave a watery smile, shaking her head at her daughter's antics. I wiped her tears and passed her a bottle of water, ignoring the huge wet spot marking my shirt.
"Asad kahan hai?"
"Woh abhi andar gaya, nurse ka kehna tha ke Hadiya ko khoon ki zaroorat hai." Chachi placed a hand on her chest, probably feeling her daughter's pain through the thick, double-ended doors of the Operation Theatre. Her expression was tightly pursed, but the light glinting off the glass made itself a home in the light wrinkles on her face, accentuating her age. The crow's feet around her eyes deepened until they looked like black scars cut into her face.
I was at a loss of words. How do I comfort a mother, whose child is fighting for her every breath?
We sat quietly, the silence permeated by the occasional sniffle from Chachi, or the rustle of clothes from Chacha as he shifted back and forth in his chair.
"Qabar mein taang latkaaye hue hum hain, aur maut ka farishta Hadiya ki khidmat kar raha hai." Chachi broke through the silence, her tone dead. She looked blankly at her hands linked together on her lap. I got off my chair and knelt next to her, placing a hand on hers.
"Chachi, aisa nahi kehte." I whispered gently. She looked at me through blank eyes, now flushed red. It was as if she'd cried until her eyes were completely dry, barren of anymore tears. The tracks on her weathered skin reflected the light emitted by the red bulb on top of the operation theatre.
"Aulaad jab maut ke shikaar maa-baap se pehle bante hai na Shehryaar, tab maa-baap bhi jeene ke laiq nahi rehte. Aur apni hi aulaad ki mayyat sab se wazandaar hoti hai." Her words were hurting me more than I could imagine.
"Chachi woh zinda hai, aur zinda rahegi. Aap dekhna, woh abhi uth ke kahegi ke poochegi ke sab ro kyun rahe hai. Yeh hadsa toh kismat ka khel tha Chachi, kuch bhi ho jaaye, isse hona hi tha. Agar iss tarah nahi, toh kisi aur tareeqe se. Kyunki yeh Allah ki taraf se maa-baap ke liye aazmaish hoti hai Chachi. Hum nahi samajh paate, par har ghadi Allah humein azmaata hai, taake hum Uske qareeb aa jaaye. Phir aap aisi baatein toh na karein, takleef hoti hai. Sabr rakhein Chachi, sab theek ho jaayega Inn Shaa Allah." Chacha slowly extended an arm across her chair, pulling her body gently towards his own until her head was resting on his shoulder. Chachi shut her eyes, a tear trailing down her cheek again, melting into Chacha's shirt. I dropped my gaze and stood up, feeling like I was intruding on a private moment between the two. Sounds of Chachi's crying reached my ears again, causing
"Shehryaar." I turned at the sound of Dr. White calling my name. He beckoned me into the office. His mouth was set in a grim line. I exchanged a look with Hussain, dread building up in my stomach. Hussain and I followed him into his office.
"The operation was successful." I closed my eyes, knees buckling underneath the strength of my relief. Hussain grabbed me before I could fall to my knees in the middle of the office.
"Ya Khuda Tera laakh laakh shukar." I whispered, mentally thanking Allah a million times over in my head. Suddenly, my mind registered something through the fog of relief clouding my head. "Why do you look like you're giving bad news then?"
"The operation may have been successful Shehryaar, but we have no estimate on when she'll wake up. I'm afraid, she has slipped into a coma." This time, Hussain wasn't there to grab me. The news came like a ton of bricks, dropping on my shoulders. This time, I fell to my knees, pain bursting open in my chest. Briefly, I heard Hussain speak to the doctor.
Hadiya, please waapis aa jao.
"Where is Asad?"
"The nurse is getting him cleaned him. He's given a lot of blood, so he'll be a little weak. Also, you will not be able to see the patient today, so I suggest you all go home tonight, and come back during visiting hours tomorrow. Visiting hours are from eleven to three." The doctor informed him before leaving the room to give us a little privacy to digest the news. Hussain dropped down next to me, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to face him.
"She's going to be alright Shehry, woh theek ho jaayegi Inn Shaa Allah. Tu sun raha hai na? Hadiya ko kuch nahi hoga." I looked blankly into my brother's face, almost not recognizing the sharp angles of his jaw and neck. "Abhi tune Chachi se kya kaha, hm? Tera lecture jhoota tha? Tu khud nahi maanta?"
"Hussain, Hadiya..." I couldn't finish before I broke down. I wanted my friend back, but mostly, I was crying for Asad. Asad would lose it when he heard this. Hussain wrapped his arms around me and held me together tightly while my body shook with emotional convulsions, trying so hard not to cry.
The door swung open, revealing Asad.
Ya Allah, kya karoon main.
"Hadiya coma mein chali gayi hai na." Asad knew. He simply knew. I nodded once in the affirmative, unable to meet his eyes.
"Usse vaise hi sone ka shok bachpan se hai." With that sentence, both Hussain's and my eyes snapped to his face, wondering what had happened.
"Dimaag toh theek hai tera?" Hussain asked, leaving my side and standing with Asad. I got off the ground, wrapping my arms around my own waist tightly.
"Aur kya kahoon Hussain? Aur kuch bolne ki taaqat hi nahi rahi mujh mein. Meri taaqat toh khud wahaan apne andar ki rooh ke liye ladh rahi hai." He gestured in a random direction, face devoid of any emotions.
Now that we were standing near the door, I could hear the Chacha and Chachi crying, trying to grasp onto each other for support. I took Asad by the wrist and pulled him out to the bench, jaw clenching at the little resistance from his side.
"Chacha, doctor ne kaha hai ke aaj hum Hadiya ko nahi mil sakte, toh hum sab kal aa jaayenge usse dekhne. Filhaal aap dono mere saath chalein, hum ghar jaa rahe hai."
"Nahi beta-" I cut Chachi off.
"Maaf karna Chachi, par aapka yahaan rehne se aapki khud ki tabiyat aur bhi bigad jaayegi. Behtar yehi hai ke aap sab mere aur Hussain ke ghar chalein, subah mein hum sab saath mein aa jaayenge."
"Shehryaar theek keh raha hai, begum. Behtar yehi hai ke hum dono apne ghar chale jaaye." He pushed himself off the chair, offering a hand to his wife. Hussain took the elderly couple and disappeared around the corner of the hallway.
Asad pulled me aside as I went to follow.
"Shehry main tere saath nahi jaaonga. Main yahaan Hadiya ke paas rahoonga."
"Asad tere yahaan rehne se woh uth jaayegi?"
"Uthe ke na uthe, main usse yahaan akela nahi chodna chahta. Main rahoonga uske saath. Vaise hi, ghar pe kon intezaar kar raha hoga mera." Another blow to the gut. I studied Asad's eyes for a minute before nodding at him and hugging him.
"Apna khayal rakhna aur kisi hi cheez ki zaroorat ho toh mujhe bata dena."
"Thank you so much Shehry." Asad's head lowered in gratitude. I lightly punched him on the shoulder.
"Thanks bolega saala." I joked lightly before turning around to leave. My last glimpse of Asad was him looking forlornly into the glass window of the ICU.
We dropped Chacha and Chachi off at their home, making sure that they didn't need anything else before returning home.
"Beta, kaisi hai Hadiya?" Mama's worried face came up the second we entered the house.
"Coma mein chali gayi hai." I said, feeling worn out. I rested my car keys on the counter and scrubbed a hand across my tired face. Mama began praying under her breath.
"Main khaana lagati hoon, tum dono haath moo dho kar aa jao." She turned but I stopped her.
"Mama mujhe bhook nahi hai. Aap Hussain ko khila dein." I trudged up the stairs and curled up on my bed, thinking about the sharp turn my day had taken. From meeting Sakinah at Maha's school to Hadiya's accident, the day had grated on my last nerve, leaving me susceptible to any sort of emotion. I got up with difficulty and took a shower. The hot water pelting down on my muscles beat some of the exhaustion out of them.
I changed into warm clothes and crawled into the covers, curling up once again. Asad and Chachi's words pounded through my head, giving me a headache.
"Kyun hum apna haq jatate hai apni jaan pe, jab ke jaan lene, aur jaan dene ka haq sirf Uss Zaat ke paas hai?"
"Kyun mera Khuda mujhse sab chheen raha hai? Pehle Papa, phir Mama, aur ab, Hadiya bhi. Kis gunaah ki saza bhugat raha hoon main? Mujh par reham kyun nahi barsaata Woh? Kyun mujhe itni takleef mein dekh kar bhi khamosh hai?"
"Qabar mein taang latkaaye hue hum hain, aur maut ka farishta Hadiya ki khidmat kar raha hai."
"Aulaad jab maut ke shikaar maa-baap se pehle bante hai na Shehryaar, tab maa-baap bhi jeene ke laiq nahi rehte. Aur apni hi aulaad ki mayyat sab se wazandaar hoti hai."
"Woh ladki filhaal maut aur hayat ke darmiyaan qaid hai."
"Aur issi ladki se mujhe ishq hai."
That's when it hit me. With that sentence I realized what was so familiar in Asad's voice over the phone.
Fear.
Darr
Khauf.
He wasn't scared of losing his love to death.
Hewas scared of her never knowing how much he loves her.
~~~~~~~~~
So....How was it?
Favourite dialogue?
What do you think of Asad and Hadiya?
One word for Shehry?
One word for the Chapter?
Also... Here's an edit I made for these two:
Give me a ship name for Asad-Hadiya.
I will try to update Chapter 17 as soon as I can, but I'm making no promises that I'll update soon, because I have a lot of submissions due this month. However, thank you all for your patience. I love you guys ❤❤❤
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