I remember before when I had a crush. He was a jerk but I still fell for him. It was hard because he liked my bestfriend.
I'd try to grow our friendship into something more. I would constantly ask him who he liked hoping one day he'd say my name. He never did. I knew I was being stupid for falling for him, but a little bit of me still had hope.
One day when the lights were off in the classroom he said. "Where's Amanda?" This was referencing how my skin colour blended in with the dark. It took my naive self awhile to get the joke but once I did I felt so humiliated. Some of the students were laughing. My friends were reassuring me saying not to listen to him. Why did he have to be so cruel?
I was a really sensitive child so little comments like that really got to me. The worst thing was I still liked him and I couldn't stop.
I remember there was a time when he put all the girls in order of who was prettiest and I ranked second last. I was gutted I felt ugly. This took a huge toll to my confidence.
One night I couldn't contain my tears and I just cried for 10 minute straight. Thinking about if he even liked black girls. It took me 3 years to get over him.
Fun fact this is the longest chapter of this book! So don't be expecting anything longer. Don't forget to vote, comment your thoughts & follow me!