It's been three days since they came back from the farmhouse, three days since that basketball challenge and three days since Khushi has withdrawn herself from the family including Arnav.
Scarred from that incident in the basketball court, Khushi had tried to divert her mind from it. She had tried umpteen times to remind herself that Arnav was hers and solely hers but as time went by, it became more and more difficult for her to do so - especially when the same thing kept occurring over and over again.
That basketball match had brought Arnav quite close to Arnav, as a result of which, it had become a daily routine for them to spend time together. The duo would spend hours playing chess or watching matches and subsequently, Sheetal was always around Arnav, reliving the tales of their close friendship stories from college - stories that corroded her mind, filling her with a range of insecurities.
All the stress had eventually lead her to feel weak. She felt drained out, not only emotionally but also physically. A result of this same tiredness was her fainting just a day ago in the room when Arnav was in the office. Thankfully, she regained consciousness by herself before anyone could see her. Or to be precise, before Arnav would return from office and ask for her, reminding the rest of her existence.
The family hadn't noticed her aloofness. They had instead thought that she was feeling sick and thus needed rest, so they left her on her own. The thought that there might be something else wrong had crossed Payal's mind but she was easily deceived by the mask of cheerfulness her sister had pulled.
However, it was not that easy to deceive Arnav. He knew or to be precise, he was sure that there was something that has been bothering his wife ever since they came back from the farmhouse. He had noted that she wasn't herself anymore. She would stay distant from everyone, then would curl herself in his arms at night, as if scared to let go. Her condition scared him and he tried asking her but she always dodged the questions.
Khushi, on the other hand, had felt a sort of reassurance when Arnav had seen her hidden conflict and each time his concerned self would ask her what was wrong, she would feel a prick of guilt at what she was thinking.
She felt torn. Torn between confiding her feelings and in turn hurting him. And this inner battle of hers had only befuddled him more, an example being their minor fight a few hours ago.
"What happened to you?" Arnav asked, catching her elbows as she tried to escaped to the washroom, once again.
"What would happen to me?" She in turn asked, faking a smile. "I'm fine."
"Khushi, you can't fool me!" He retorted, puling her closer. "I know there's something wrong with you. Why are you behaving like this? You are neither mingling with the family nor are you ready to voice out your feelings. What has happened? Tell me!"
Khushi's heart softened at his understanding and so did her eyes. A sudden need to flung herself in his arms and admit what was bothering her, overwhelmed her and she opened her mouth, at last to speak a few words of her mind but the next words of Arnav killed her courage and refreshed her insecurity.
"Even today when I asked you to come with us for shopping you refused. Why?"
Us. Meaning Sheetal, Anjali and Aarav along with him.
Why wouldn't she refuse? They had already made the entire plan and then remembered her only when Payal suggested to take her along.
Khushi's heart sank at the remembrance.
"Khushi, I am talking to you. Where are you lost?" She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her husband's slightly irritated face.
Recomposing herself, she stepped back and removed his hands from her arm, "I think you are mistaken, Arnavji. Nothing has happened to me. I had already said that I didn't feel like going out. So please, no need to worry."
Saying so, she turned and went into the washroom without giving him a chance to speak.
Coming out of her thoughts, Khushi glanced back at the sleeping form of her husband from the poolside. He was pissed off by her behavior, so pissed off that he went to sleep without uttering a word to her.
Her eyes brimmed again and she turned to stare at the sky, twinkling with a billion stars.
She felt utterly miserable after hiding her fears from him but how she would tell him what was wrong, when she herself was not aware of what has happened that lead her here. All she knew was that the friendship between him and Sheetal was troubling her to no end - why, that till date she doesn't know.
At the back of her mind, however, there was a voice that whispered the reason of her misery to her which was her fear of losing her Arnavji, to Sheetalji.
It felt stupid when spoken out loud yet she couldn't help but let that fear grasp her. She has seen, she has felt so many things that pushed her to this end.
She has noted Sheetalji blushing whenever Arnavji would be near her and she knew that blush so well, because it was something that Arnavji would make her feel every time. She has heard, so many stories from Sheetalji, including the one where their friends would ship them for they were almost inseparable. She heard her, Sheetalji who was a mere friend of Arnavji describe that soft side of him which he showed her only after undergoing so many ordeals and conflicts - which lead her to one conclusion, Sheetalji was truly special to him, more special than she ever was when she first met him.
And she has also seen him. She has seen her husband smiling and laughing and simply enjoying with his friend and each time she would see that, she would feel her heart break into a thousand pieces for she was no longer the reason for his smiles. She was no longer the only one to make him happy. Someone else had that power and that terrified her, so much that she didn't know what to do to sooth her fret.
Her hands reached up to glaze her mangalsutra, her eyes filled with tears of agony - Agony that teared her apart, only to pierce through the fallen pieces of her being.
She couldn't confess her fears to Arnav because she had no way of convincing him that what she was feeling was not mistrust but simply her insecurity. She trusted him more than anything in the world but at the same time, being so deeply in love with him, she was also scared to lose him. She was afraid, that someday he will find someone else who would make him feel things that only she could do and he will take shelter in that person.
After all, this is exactly what has been happening to her since her childhood. Every time she has only lose people she loved. She even lost him so many times. Was it wrong to be insecure in such a situation?
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought of all this and she pressed her fingers against her mouth, not knowing what to feel or think anymore.
In one part of her mind she was tormented by her own doubts and in the other half, she heard her husband's words of love. The images of the moments they spent together ran in her mind and mixed up with the images of him and Sheetalji, making her head throb in an excruciating pain.
She racked her fingers in her hair and pressed her forehead against her curled up knees, sobbing silently at the state she had reduced herself into.
She stayed in that position for a few minutes until she felt someone caressing her head. She didn't have to lift up her head to know who was there, for she knew that touch as well as she had recongnised the warmth that touch transported in her. Sniffing, she thus turned and flung herself into his arms like a child, startling him in the process.
"Khu-khushi?" Arnav's whisper was one that reflected utter confusion with a tinge of panic as he held her shoulders, attempting to make her look up.
"Khushi, Khushi stop! Look at me! Look at me, Khushi!" He said, lifting her face with a slight force and instantly felt a hand clawing his heart, as he saw her ashen skin damped with her tears.
Her lips were trembling like that of a child and he felt moisture blurring his vision at her state. Something was bothering her. He didn't know what, but whatever it was, it hurt him too.
"What happened?" His voice quivered as he wiped her tears.
"Ar..arnavji.." Khushi bit back a sob, allowing herself to crash against him once again.
He gathered her close to his heart, feeling choked on. "I'm right here, Khushi. Tell me, what happened? Did anyone say anything? Did they do anything to hurt you? C'mon, tell me."
Khushi pressed her lips together as his questions were followed by few comforting kisses on her head and she breathed in, deeply, desperately trying to find a way to explain her inner chaos that now was threatening her sanity.
"I-I, Arnavji, I-" She sobbed louder and shook her head against his chest whilst feeling his hand cradling her head tighten. "I'm scared."
"Why?" Arnav asked. Though her statement befuddled him, he tried sounding as steady and comforting as he could, not wanting anything to interrupt her confession - something he has been craving to hear, just so he could help her out of the dilemma she had slipped herself into.
"I'm scared." Khushi repeated, closing her eyes as at last, the biggest burden on her heart escaped her mouth as words. "I'm scared to lose you."
His confusion increased ten fold this time and he felt something. He felt a dread, that something terrible had happened to fuel such a fear from her.
"Khushi." The dread leaked into his whisper and he held his breath as she lifted her head voluntarily this time. His own face contorted as he saw the raw pain she carried in her otherwise cheerful eyes and for a second, he felt speechless.
He did not know what to say to her, partly because he never saw her this broken before and partly because he knew that look on her face, the agony that she was feeling. It was the same, exact same pain as what he once felt when the misconception of losing her to Shyam had crept up on him.
"Khushi, I love you."
His voice was desperate and he held her shoulders, not wanting to see the traces of that pain in her eyes. It was devastating and having once experienced that, he doesn't want her to go through it, especially not when he was right here, with her.
"And I would leave you, nor would I ever let you go away from me. You know that, don't you?"
She caught her lower lip between her teeth and nodded. She then breathed out a deep, shuddering breath.
"I know." Her voice trembled. "But, but," She shook her head, completely worn out by whatever had struck her so bad. "I don't know what's happening. I really don't."
Her shivering hands traveled up to cup his face as she struggled to speak further. "I love you and, and I can't lose you but I fear I might. I just fear..I'm just scared. Please, please don't leave me. Please."
Her hands went further down and wrapped around his neck as she hid her face in the crook of his neck, whispering her fears again and again.
Struck with perplexity, Arnav simply held her and in turn whispered sweet and comforting words in her ears and waited for her to calm down. Then suddenly, he felt her going quiet, completely.
A fret caught him and he moved his head back a little so he could see her, only to go frozen at the touch of her lips against his neck.
"Khushi?"
His hoarse voice called out as his muscles convulsed at the amount of yearning her fleeting kiss had. He held her face in his wobbling hands, his heart palpitating at the excruciating inhale she took, before giving out another sob.
He felt an urge to do something, to sooth her anguish, to comfort her against the fears that threatened to consume her. Fears that he knew were so powerful that upon getting a firm grip on her, would not stop until she is reduced into simply a husk of once a merry person.
His hold tightened on her himself frightened by her fears, and in a moment, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.
His heart skipped a beat as she almost melted at his touch - her hands clutched his shirt and her lips moved against his, slowly, yet fervently.
She needed assurance.
A part of him said and he tugged her closer, kissing her in a way that the world around them fell into silence and all that was left was them, only them. His hands rested below her ears, holding her head in place whilst his thumbs caressed her face. She held him close, feeling his warmth more comforting than words would ever be.
Her one hand held his collar, pulling him closer whilst the other one trailed downwards to rest on his chest, just where his heart was beating. She pulled away from him slightly and opened her eyes to glance at her hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat fast and faster, just like hers. It was still in sync with her heart. Nothing had changed.
The thought brought a faint smile on her face and she lifted the veil of her lashes to glimpse at him as his hands trailed from her cheek, to her neck, before finally wrapping around her hip. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder when he tucked her back into his arms.
Her hands went up his back and grasped his shoulders as he pressed his lips against her neck, sending familiar waves of tingles and unsaid reassurances through her, making her realize that even his passion for her was intact - just like his love that made his heart go crazy.
The realization was soothing and obliterated every ill thought in her, filling her once again with nothing but his love, their love.
"I love you." He whispered against her hair before pulling back to fuse their lips together again.
In a few moments, his soft caresses and her soft tugs became more firm and frantic as both started to seek each other, to feel each other again. Khushi's breaths quickened, matching his as he lifted her in his arms and carried her away from the biting coldness of the night.
A tear dribbled down her face when he laid her in the comfort of their bed and he kissed it away almost instantly, and just like that, the darkness faded into dawn as the couple spent the whole night reassuring each other. They confessed the fears they had, then proceeded to sooth it all with each other's support, caring less of those who were part of the outer world.
It was in the wee hours of the night that Khushi finally slipped into sleep. A comforting sleep, Arnav had noted as he stayed awake, staring at her who thankfully no longer had any lines of discomfort marring her forehead.
He gulped, holding her as close as he could to himself. His mind wandered in a thousands directions, trying to pick one occasion where that gnawing fear might have gotten its claws up his Khushi's mind but alas. He found none.
A resigned sigh left him. He knew something was wrong with Khushi but when she refused to talk about it, he thought some rest was indeed what she needed. That's why today when Anjali forced him to accompany them for shopping, he preferred to leave her alone.
But now he is realizing how big of a mistake he was making by leaving her on her own. She needed him, she needed his assurance and he didn't know that.
How?
What even happened that lead to this?
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Troubled by the questions, it was only in the early morning that Arnav finally got some sleep, until the shrill of the phone burst through his sleepiness.
He groaned, reaching for the phone hastily before it breaks Khushi's sleep as well.
"Hello?" He let out a low growl as he slowly slipped out of the bed and went to stand near the french door.
"What happened, Aman? Is this a time to call?" He snarled, rubbing his eyes that still burned from the deprivation of sleep. He listened rather impatiently as Aman apologized for the inconvenience he caused, before informing him of a preponed meeting.
"Fine." Arnav mumbled, turning around to have a look at the clock. "I'll-"
His half drooping eyes opened completely and he flung the phone on the recliner, rushing towards Khushi who had already gotten up from the bed and was now swaying.
"Khushi!" He held her before she could fall on the floor and tapped her face worriedly as she winced in pain.
His heart beats quickened at her who was loosing consciousness.
"Khushi? Khushi, what happened? Khushi?" He called for her frantically whilst tapping her cheeks to keep her awake.
"My..my head.." In turn, she mumbled and kept her head against his chest.
He picked her up and quickly laid her back on the bed. Hastily pouring some water in the glass from the side table, he then made her drink it. Once she seemed to be returning back to consciousness, he kept the glass aside and cupped her face.
"Are you ok?" He asked, his heart threatening to burst forth from his mouth. He sighed when she nodded meekly and stood up.
"What are you doing?" Khushi asked, seeing him move around frenetically from her half-opened eyes.
Instead of answering, he put on his shirt and took her clothes from the closet before keeping it on the bed next to her.
"Rest a bit. Then get ready, we are going to see a doctor."
Ignoring her brittle protest, he reached for his phone and dialed Aman's number for the cancellation of his meetings.
"But Sir, this meeting is important." Aman took the risk to say, then regretted when Arnav gritted.
"Did I ask you something? No. So just do as you are told." Cutting the call before Aman could say anything, Arnav took a towel from the open closet and turned to Khushi.
"I'll go freshen up."
Khushi sighed as he again walked away without listening to her. She closed her eyes and rested against the headrest for the time being.
The idea was not that bad if she think about it. It's actually much needed, given to the fact that she already fainted twice in two days period.
She gnawed on her lower lip, wondering whether to reveal this piece of information to the doctor or not while Arnav would be listening. Who knows he might just topple the whole hospital upon finding out that she fainted once, and did not tell him. Instead, she had a breakdown in his arms.
The ring of the phone made her open her eyes and she held the side table for support as she stood up and walked slowly towards Arnav's phone that laid on the recliner. She looked at Aman's name flashing on the screen, then at the closed door of the washroom, then finally, she took the call intending to inform Aman that his boss was busy, when the latter spoke up before she does.
"Sir, I'm sorry to disturb you again, but the meeting with Mr. Malhotra cannot be postponed. He will be leaving the country today to attend some family issue. If we cancel the meeting today then-"
Khushi jumped as the mobile was taken away from her. She looked to her side at Arnav who upon seeing the caller id, cut the call.
"Go freshen up." He said to her and proceeded to dry his hair, without giving her a chance to speak.
Khushi sighed.
"If the meeting is so important then you should attend it." She said solemnly, leaning against the recliner and looking at him.
"It's not." Arnav threw the towel on the bed. "Definitely not more than you."
Her eyes welled up at his words and feeling a usual smile creeping on her face, she went and wrapped her hands around his waist. Arnav cradled her head, silently.
"Go get ready, Khushi." He mumbled.
"I know you are worried." Khushi said, resisting when he tried to break the hug. "And I'm sorry for scaring you like this but please, don't neglect your work like that for me. It won't make me feel better to know that you incurred losses because of me."
"Khushi-"
"Arnavji." She cut him off and pressed her chin on his chest as she looked up at him already staring at her. The concern in his eyes made her feel the worst for having thought of him as someone who would be capable of abandoning her. She knew her crazy insecurity had already freaked him out, and the last thing she wants is his business to be affected by it as well.
"I'll be fine. I'll go to the hospital with Mohanji, and I'll return with him only. I'll even call you once I'm done and will tell you everything the doctor said over the phone itself." She assured earnestly and he bit back a sigh.
"I promise. I'll be fine."
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