Author's note: I'm feeling kinda romantic, yeah yeah, don't ask, shit happens, so there will be some sexy on this chapter.
I see the blood dripping in the white basin, it's rythmn in cadence with my heartbeats.
Nearby, another faucet is leaking, contributing somehow to this symphony of chaos that's playing inside my head.
Drop, drop, drip, drip.
My nose hurts like a motherfucker, and I touch it, wincing at the searing pain, it could be broken, and I already feel the tell tale swell around my eyes.
Pretty, Axl. You gonna look real pretty with a swollen, broken honker and two black eyes. But I can get myself around to give a fuck really.
Right now, the pain is a welcome reminder that I'm still struggling, I'm still here, so I smear the blood on the mirror in front of me, ignoring the horrified glance of a boy barely old enough to be here, on the his way out .
“Fuck!”
I regonise the voice. Duff, get outta here. But he is already gone.
“Stay outside and don't let anybody in.”
In two strides Izzy is by my side, wiping the blood out of my face, out of my hands, peeling the crusts out of my mushed up knuckles.
“Axl.”
But I'm too out if it.
“Go away Izz.”
And I keep smearing the blood in the mirror, my sister's terrified voice pleading in my head (Bill, please, don't let him.)
“It's ok, Amy darling. It's ok. It's gonna be me tonight. Not you baby. Not you.” I whisper to her.
****
When I wake up is early morning and I'm in a strange bed, it smells good, clean. I don't have a clue where I am, and when I try to get up the pain in my nose sends a horrible shock through my head, making me keen.
“Sush man, don't try to get up. I'll go and bring you some coffe.”
“Duff?”
“Yeah man?”
“What I'm doing here?”
“You don't remember? Izzy and I brough you here last night. You send some fucker to the hospital man, and then you blacked out on the Rainbow's toilet. “
“Oh fuck. I think my nose is broken.”
“No it ain't. It's pretty fucked tough.”
“How the fuck do you know it ain't broken?”
“Look at me Axl. I got my nose broken twice man. I know a broken nose when I see one and yours ain't broken. That doesn't mean you are not pretty banged up man, cause you are.”
I try to open my eyes but that proves difficult, they are so swollen I have to settle back on the bed and feel around for Duff's hand when he walks back with a cup of steaming coffee and three pills.
“Two Tylenol and one Xanax. Sorry, I couldn't score anything else.”
I take the pills with the coffe, and swallow tears.This guy don't what I'm feeling, he doesn't know the hell I'm into right now. Yet I'm on his place, apparently on his bed and he is being kind.
“Thanks . Where's Izzy? “
“Working. Hell arrive in a bit and then I'm off to work.”
“What time is it?”
“4:30.”
“4 fucking 30? What kind of work do you do man? Work for the mob?”
I can hear the smile on his voice.
“Something like that.”
****
The punk came back into the equation in such a way that, when I got my head around to what was happening, it was too late, I already liked him.
I didn't want to live with Izzy. Even then, I knew Izzy was as desperate as I was to get our music out, he was fed up with the street, and was pushing his luck in so many levels it was scary to watch.
He went from occasional dope seller to addict in a matter of weeks. Not only had he fight to keep a roof, he had to keep a vice, and in honesty I think he resented me for just being with him, so as soon as I landed a job in Tower Video, I moved out.
Fate would have it, my shitty one room apartment, -complete with cold water and peeling wrapping paper walls- were two floors above Duffs.
He was so normal and friendly, sharing his booze and cigarettes with whomever he was, his door always open, it had the almost surreal quality of making me feel safe.
When our bassist bailed, Izzy suggested we should give Duff a try, and that's how he became a more or less permanent fixture in my life.
"What are you thinking about there, Billy?" Izzy asks me .
I hear the shower going, his curses and I laugh, fucker always hated showers.
The band had a brief meeting the night before, Tracii and Rob left together and Duff a while later, I think, because I fell asleep on Izzy's couch.
Around 8 in the morning , a chick knocked on his door, he let her inside with smile, and I had to listen to them having sex while pretending to be deep asleep.
I sigh. She left half an hour ago, leaving behind a trail of strong perfume, the entire apartment smelling of pussy, her fishnet tights with more holes on it than a Swiss cheese, her high heels clattering on the wooden floor.
"Who's she?" I ask, once Izzy comes out to the tiny living room.
"A costumer."
He is still wet, water dropping from his hair onto his face like cristals off a chandelier.
"A happy one?" I tease, licking the joint paper.
"She was, yeah." He answers and smiles, drinking milk from the cartoon.
I light the joint. "And you?" I ask.
Izzy and don't dance together often, but when we do, we have the choreography down to perfection. It's what happens when you know someone for a long time, each step is been done before.
He smiles again.
"It was not bad. But it was like having a vegetarian meal when you're starving." He sits by my side and takes the joint. "It fences off the hunger, but leaves you craving for some substance. "
I bat my lashes.
Weed makes horny, and right now, with Izzy semi naked and dripping with water by my side, I'm horny as hell.
He'll try to make me laugh.
"Did ya hear her screams? Dude, I was like, the fuck is wrong with you, bitch? " He says, his fingers wrapped around the joint, chuckling.
I laugh. I always do.
He can make his move.
"Billy."
"What?"
"I wanna fuck." He says, scooting closer, touching my hair with his fingertips. "I wanna wrap my arms around your waist and watch you bounce on my cock."
His mouth is right on my ear.
"That sounds so fucking gay, Izz..." I pant, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I am feeling pretty gay right now, Ax."
My mouth is on his then, a sucking, licking, biting, liquid mess of a kiss, it was a long time since I felt that turned on by the prospect of a fuck, it is dizzing, suffocating lust and love bubbling into surface.
He carries me to the bed, -and I note, with a satisfied sigh, that he has changed the sheets- and lays me down on the worn turquoise cotton, fumbling with my underwear impatiently.
"You smell so fucking good, Billy."
"Do I now?" I say, lifting my butt off the bed in a offering.
It won't last long, it never does. Our fucks have always been fast and furious, we knew what each other liked so well, it would be over before it started.
He licks my butt, slow and sensual licks that have me moaning like a sailors whore, until I am loose and wet and ready, my whole body tingling, my cock leaking profusely on the sheets.
"I'm gonna fuck you so good, you're going to forget your name." He whispers into my ear.
"Yeah, yeah you do that. Fuck, fuck it hurts..." I say, feeling his dick sliding in.
"Shush, it will be gone in a minute."
He fucks me like that for a while, then tipps me over, giving my dick a few hard sucks before entering me again.
"Touch yourself baby, come for me." He says, eyes glazed, lips parted and moist.
I love everything about this man, from the way he walks to the way he talks, his smell, the flex of his biceps, his pale, lean body over mine.
I do as he says, and come so hard my head hurts.
Izzy kisses me on my neck, pulls out and come over my stomach, hot, sticky white mixing with my own.
He pulls me closer to him, panting.
"Do you love me, Billy?" He asks.
"I love you, yes." I answer. It's no use lying to Izzy, it is the only moment of truth we ever had.
He usually gets up after my answer, but this time, he rolls on top of me, and looks into my eyes.
"You shouldn't. "
"I know I shouldn't. " I say, squeezing my eyes shut.
"No, look at me baby." He pleads. I open my eyes and he kisses me. "I'm dead serious Billy. Don't."
"Shut up Izz. You don't tell me what to do."
He falls asleep and I leave, as silent as a thief in a night alley.
The day passes slowly, and when I return from my shift, I learn that Izzy moved in with Duff.
Tbc
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M