private messages
junebug
hello mel santiago
junebug
emphasis on iago
smelly
i didn't know you read othello
junebug
what's othello
junebug
i was talking about the parrot from aladdin
junebug
feathery ass traitor
smelly
what did i do
junebug
you know exactly what you did
smelly
junebug
junebug
i saw you lace up your running shoes before you sprinted out of the restaurant with tom
junebug
also why did he have a bungee cord
smelly
um
smelly
it's for sex
junebug
well now i know you're lying
junebug
i'm going to kill you mel
junebug
i'm hiding in the bathroom
smelly
from what
junebug
from seb!!!
smelly
why
junebug
because you two raisins left us here alone!!!
smelly
and that's a problem because
junebug is typing...
junebug
eat shit
smelly
you couldn't even think of a reason
smelly
you know you still love him and i know he still loves you so get out of the bathroom and get into your man
junebug
that made no sense
smelly
eh i'm not good at being inspirational
junebug
idk it kind of worked
junebug
you're an inspiration now
smelly
that's too much responsibility i want to go back
junebug
i mean i'm still going to destroy you when i get the chance
smelly
no you won't
junebug
and why won't i
smelly
you'll be hopelessly in love and love makes you stupid and slow
smelly
you'll never catch me
junebug
hearing you talk about love always makes me feel so warm and fuzzy
junebug
i can tell you're a true romantic
junebug
i'll put that on your tombstone after i destroy you
smelly
you also won't kill me because i'm with tom right now
junebug
YOU WHAT THE WHAT IN THE WHO AND HOW
smelly
we're getting pudding
junebug
smelly
don't make a big deal out of it
junebug
THE FUCK I WONT
junebug
THIS IS AMAZING
smelly
try not to have a coronary
junebug
NO PROMISES
junebug
I LOVE MOM MORE THAN I LOVE MY MOM
junebug
THATS A LIE I REALLY LOVE DIANE BUT STILL
smelly
stop living vicariously through me
smelly
go take care of your own love life
junebug
DID YOU JUST IMPLY TOM WAS PART OF YOUR LOVE LIFE
smelly
no but he is part of my list of people to brutally murder
junebug
stop pretending to be cold hearted
junebug
i know you like spending time with him you cuddly marshmallow little fluff
smelly
how dare you call me that
smelly
i'm about to leave anyways he's been talking about how beautiful the weather is for like 10 minutes
junebug
i have a proposal for you
smelly
you throw yourself out a window and i don't have to do any homework because my teachers think i'm grieving?
smelly
i think that's a great idea
junebug
not quite
junebug
i'll make you a deal
smelly
this can't be good
junebug
i'll stay here and go on this date with seb
smelly
junebug
if
junebug
you stay and hang out with tom all evening
smelly
you sadistic bastard
smelly
fine i'll do it
smelly
for jeb
junebug
obviously
junebug
not for any other reason
smelly
leave me alone and go fall in love again you lump of charcoal
junebug
never stopped but okay
smelly
AUTHOR'S NOTE: i'm sorry there are so many sexual jokes in this fic i feel like i should put a mature rating on it. also yes the first four lines are from b99 aka the reason i live and breathe. a godsend of a show. second in my heart only to the great british bake off