Eighteen
There was something oddly calming about Fort Azra that never seemed to leave Ellegra's veins. The longer they stayed in the small city and stared at its great walls, the more she felt a need to pay the innkeeper more for an extra day. She didn't want to leave Asaan. Part of her childhood was here. The same sand she stood on was the sand she'd walked on as a little girl, blown in the wind and carried miles from place to place, city to city, home to home. The sky was just the same as the remembered. She remembered days where she and Arem would sneak up to the roof, laying flat against the shingles with their feet braced against the steep slant to keep them from sliding. They would point out stars and tell meaningless stories of the monsters and people they created in the night sky.
Ellegra pulled herself from her thoughts and sat up in bed, her eyes scanning over the other two figures lounging in the next cot over. Sometime during the night her back had finally declared it'd had enough and demanded a soft place to sleep. With her bruised rib still giving occasional throbs, Ellegra wasn't going to argue. Romi easily agreed and moved to sleep on the floor. Tamshie moved over and welcomed her. Sitting up now, Ellegra slowly let her legs slide to the ground and her bare feet brush the hardwood floors. She ran a hand down her face, her hand slick with sweat. It had been another sleepless night, and her back wasn't the only one still healing. Her nightmares had started off as usual. Cilas had taunted her, sliced her, hurt her just as he had a million times before. Her heart raced and she energy built under her skin, the air around her chilling with a vortex that swarmed around her. She had expected the sword to come down, dig into her eye and rip away that final piece of hope that she clung to, wanting to believe he wasn't the monster she knew him to be.
But last night's dream was different. Instead of Cilas bringing the sword down onto her, it was Arem. His wrists were clasped in heavy chains. A look of emptiness shadowed his face. She begged, screamed at him to stop, to look at her. The sword followed through, and she woke up with the searing pain in her eye and a deep ache in her heart. She'd collapsed back onto the pillow, burying her face into it and muffling her whimpers and soft sobs.
Ellegra turned towards the window, noticing the high sun of early afternoon. Her skin itched and her hair scratched her cheeks. She knew she smelled, and sighed as she grabbed her sword from under the bed.
"Are you okay?" Tamshie asked. The young girl rolled onto her side and stared up at her, her folded fingers rubbing her eyes.
"I'm fine," said Ellegra, pausing to stare at her numb hands. Tiny specs of blood marked her skin. "I was going to the bath houses. Do you want me to leave you money so you guys can go later?"
Tamshie bit her lip and pushed herself up more. Romi stirred, craning her head back to look up at Ellegra standing over her. Her head fell back down. Her snoring resumed several seconds later. Tamshie frowned, her eyes softening at her friend. The dark circles around her eyes grew bigger, the glassy covering growing in her friend's eyes. She could practically see the remnants of Ellegra's dream flashing in those hazy golden eyes. Though she hadn't said it bluntly, her meaning was clear. She didn't offer to have them follow. She wanted time alone, time to herself. Tamshie nodded, giving her a small, reassuring smile. "Sure."
Ellegra left two senzis on the table between the beds and darted from the room. Her head swam with the pieces of last night, she didn't even feel the blisters on her feet aching until she was finally paused and waiting to be served in one of the bath houses. A small woman with her front teeth missing gave her a wide smile and ushered her into a room with a square pool. Steam rose from the fragrant water and spilled through the air, filling her senses with the peace and calm she needed. Her body sagged into relaxation and she closed her eyes and threw her head back to breathe in the aroma of fresh soap and flowers. Sunshined poured into the room through the glass window above, the light blazing from early afternoon. The rays caressed and kissed her skin as she stripped down her clothes and stepped carefully into the water. Her sensitive feet instantly screeched at the heat, but the further in she went the more they welcomed the feeling of relief that swept through them.
Water filled in around her. She reached into the small bowl beside the pool and grabbed at the cratered rock, scraping it gently against her skin. Layers of grime and caked sweat fell off of her and into the water. She untied her hair from its knot and let it drop into the waves she created. She scrubbed the soap on every part of her, dipping her fingers into the serum and running them through her tangled hair. When she finished making sure she was no longer dripping in filth, she moved into the center and spread her arms and legs out, blowing out a heavy breath and letting herself sink to the bottom. She crossed her arms over her chest and curled her knees towards her stomach and just lay there, her body weightless yet solidly held on the ground. She blew out more air and opened her eyes, watching them float to the top like frantic orbs of nothing scratching to get to the surface. The sun dazzled as it streamed and beamed in the water. She felt its intensity even more magnified and welcomed its kisses, allowing a brief moment of weightless suspension that lifted her heart from its cage and let it shed its layer of grit.
A cloudless sky passed from noon to evening in the blink of an eye. Ellegra pressed her hands flat against the bottom of the pool and shoved off, letting the small effort of momentum propel he to the surface. She opened her mouth and breathed in the air, but it didn't smell as heavenly as it did two hours ago. The bowl was gone, replaced with two towels placed neatly on a stool in the room's far corner, her clothes draped on the chair next to it. She hadn't seen anyone enter the room, and the thought of someone seeing her completely naked gave her nerves a jaded edge, but the feeling didn't linger long. Not with the sense of dread that overcame her.
Evening!
Ellegra scrambled out of the pool, slipping in the puddles she created as she wrapped herself in a towel and wrung out her hair. She shoved her legs into her pants and her bodice, hooking and tightening it up to her breasts before ramming her fists through the sleeves of her shirt. She grabbed at her belt and sword and latched it quickly around her waist. Then she bolted from the room.
The inn wasn't far from the bath houses, but the small trek was enough time to make people stare at her. Her hair tangled and dripped down her back, her face flushed and her skin stuck to her with water and steam that still clung to her, wide eyes above the kerchief over her nose and mouth. Luckily, women were still out and about bustling, which meant it wasn't time for their curfew to affect her yet. She still had time.
She unlocked the door to the room and slammed it shut behind her as she stepped in. Tamshie and Romi lay spread out on the beds across from each other, giggling and smiling. Their laughter faded as she walked further into the room. "Hey," Tamshie said lightly, "where've you been?"
"The bath house," Ellegra said stiffly. She went about the took the things they brought, which was practically nothing.
"But we were just there," Romi inserted, her eyes squinting at Ellegra. "We didn't see you."
Ellegra scoffed. "It's a bath house, Romi, not a social gala. The pools are private." The girl dropped her head. Tamshie gave her a sharp look. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "But we need to go. The ferry to Suroya is quite a walk from where we are, and sunset is closer than I thought. We can't spend another night in Asaan, guys. It's too risky being women as it is, but being fugitives makes it worse. We need to go— now."
They scattered to make the beds and tidy themselves up, going about the room to make sure they hadn't left any of their nonexistent belongings. Ellegra led them out and into the bar. Patron turned to stare, some longer than others. Most of them minded their own business and turned back out. Several didn't even bother to move, snoring loudly on the bar with a river pouring from their mouths.
Ellegra marched up to the counter and slapped three senzis onto the countertop. "Thank you for your service."
The woman nodded, pocketing the money. "Can I offer youse three some drinks? Food?"
"No, actually, but it would be truly amazing if you would tell me when the ferry to Suroya departs. Is it still running for the day?"
"The next one isn't for another hour, and unfortunately they don't allow women on past curfew. It's against the law."
A lump formed in Ellegra's throat. Her heart hammered in her ears. Curfew. Damn that law. To hell with it. It wasn't like she hadn't already been parading around Asaan as a man, what could doing it for another night hurt? She nodded to the woman, muttering a quick "thank you" before shuffling out the door, Tamshie and Romi on her heels.
"What do we do?" Tamshie said, adjusting her stride to walk beside her.
"We do what we've been doing since we got here— we act like men. Shouldn't be that hard."
"But we are women!" Romi said, her face scrunched in confusion. "How do we act like men?"
"Keep your head high, your voice low, and your pride front and center. It's not that hard." Ellegra caught Tamshie's smile from the corner of her eyes and couldn't help but grin herself. One more night, she thought, and she would no longer have to worry covering her body to hide. One more night, and she would be farther away from home than she had ever been.
❂
Sand whipped around them as they flew down the streets of Fort Azra, each of them heaving and wheezing around the hope that they would be able to make this work. Ellegra's hand reflexively curled around the purse of money. She knew they would have enough, but that wasn't what worried her. She and Tamshie had been perfectly fine passing off as men, but only because Ellegra had done the talking and she had stayed out of sight. Out of the three of them, she was the one Ellegra worried most about. There was nothing manly or masculine about Tamshie's features. Her body was thin with a wired curve, her face soft and too angelic to be a man's. Even her hair screamed female!, and it wasn't even because of the length. The kerchief around her face did as much as it could with hiding her features, but her green eyes still slanted with a catlike stare. Her round cheekbones were too defined, and the kerchief only made them worse. It also didn't help that the clothes she wore were transparent and fit to her shape.
Romi was different. Her body was tiny, almost too thin, and without a single curve to it. The small delicacies of her face were pudgy and thick, swollen with too much sun. The depth of her blue eyes made Ellegra uncomfortable to stare at. The color was unnatural and unsettling, and she turned away. Hopefully, it would have the same effect on others as it did her. The kerchief around her face worked well, as did her baggy clothes.
They smelled it before they saw it. The Primek Ocean was clear and blue, and the moment they scaled a dune and let their eyes fall on it, a damn of relief broke and flooded through them. Just over that horizon was a place where she didn't have to worry about running into acquaintances, a place that could become a home for the three of them.
"Ellegra!"
Tamshie and Romi were already at the bottom and on the ground, and Tamshie pointed a little ways ahead at large ship. Guards stopped and ushered people on. They waved almost all of them in. A woman and a young boy were taken from the line and placed aside. A guard stood near her, his hand rested on his sword's hilt.
Romi swallowed hard, as did Tamshie. Ellegra came up behind them and breathed out a long exhale. "Just stay behind me and keep your heads down." They stepped in line, their nerves escalating with every step they got closer to either shelter or capture. Ellegra's shaky hands fished out twelve coins from the bag, clutching them tightly in her hand.
When it was Ellegra's turn to hand over the money, her hand shook as it climbed to his open palm. "Three, please," she said gruffly. Her voice cracked, and she felt the other two freeze behind her.
"Three?" he asked incredulously. Then he paused, leaning closer. "Let me see your face."
Ellegra's body was taut with tension, and her hand didn't know whether to pull down the hood and kerchief or dart to her sword. Instead, she froze, her mouth opening to retort.
"There you are!" a voice shouted. A hand slithered around her waist and crushed her against a tall frame that was practically made out of rock. She stared up, and for a moment she couldn't see past the dark blue eyes that gazed down at her, a smirk just barely containing itself on thin lips. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I thought you all boarded without me." He smiled back over his shoulder at the other two, then turned towards the guard. "Is there a problem here, sir? I thought it would be safe to send my wife and her sisters ahead to buy passage." Ellegra nearly rolled her eyes at the casual innocence dripping from his voice, but the guards were all staring at her now.
"I thought they were alone. It isn't safe for them to be out at night." And the hungry look in his eyes was clearly a sign of why.
Faine pulled Ellegra closer against him. His touch burned through her clothes as his grip tightened. "I understand, but we were supposed to be on one of the earlier ferries when my mother got sick. We are headed home."
"I understand. Move on." With a begrudging look, he pocketed Faine's extra four coins and waved them through.
Faine gave her a lopsided, mischievous grin. "Come along, sweetheart."