As the howls began to dissipate, I began to focus more on myself and my new form. I didn't want to dwell on my thoughts and feelings right now, and had a whole world of other things that I wanted to learn instead. It's also rather difficult to try and literally learn how to walk when dozens of other people are screaming at the sky. I looked around the luscious forest towards the other wolves, but noticed they were slowly trailing back towards their homes. The little children going as slowly as possible, with their overly curious minds begging to meet me, and the parents gently nudging them forward. I titled my head to the side, confused at their departure. I had assumed that they would wish to meet me, and felt slightly rejected. My wolfish traits longed for the feeling of a pack, after being alone for so long.
"They're only giving us some privacy. They don't want to disturb their Alpha and Luna just yet."
I grumbled and slumped to the ground. All these new terms that I had no knowledge of were starting to frustrate me. There's a whole world, an entire history, that I knew hardly anything about. I've never really been quite so frustrated before. It reminded me of amnesia, sort of, where you had to relearn everything about yourself. However, in my situation, I didn't know anything to begin with. There was no hope of my memory being triggered and suddenly remembering everything. I had to figure this all out for myself.
"I know this much be difficult for you. I didn't mean to keep things from you before, but I didn't want to overload you with so much information all at once. I'll explain more later on if you'd like. I didn't think you would need to know these things so soon. I certainly didn't expect you to be my mate."
In a way, I guess I understood why he did what he did, but that didn't make the whole thing any easier or any less irritating. I not only had an entire history and world to learn about, but another body as well. I could barely walk like this. I suddenly had a tail for crying out loud! This entire situation was completely overwhelming and with my thoughts swarming in my head I lost my balance yet again and tumbled to the ground. Kai chuckled again, thinking that all my stumbling was cute, but his disregard for how difficult this was really pissed me off. I wasn't irritated anymore because I was downright furious. I growled lowly at him and shakily pulled myself up to my feet. He was laughing at me and coddling me like I was a stumbling infant, and in a way I guess I was, but I couldn't learn anything about this world with him standing over me like this. I know that I am supposed to be his mate, or whatever, but that's not the only new thing that I have to figure out. I need to understand this world, this life, and my own body before I could even begin to understand him and what we're supposed to be.
Kai stood up at my growls and I realized that not all of my thoughts were kept to myself. I had to learn to keep my growls and barks to a minimum as those were my words as a wolf. He took a step back and looked very contemplative for a moment, as he took what I had to say into account, and then he howled. I was slightly taken aback at the low howl as it came from his very human body. He must have realized how that looked from my perspective as he quickly explained.
"You can howl in any form. It is our method for long distance communications, and leaves us able to contact each other at all times."
In response to his call, two speckled gray wolves sprinted forward. The one on left with a cheerful skip in his step whereas the one on the right was significantly more serious in his approach. They were only distinguishable by their demeanor, except for the more serious wolf. He had a darker gray mark that traveled down his side. Kai gestured towards the more cheerful wolf, and then the marked wolf as he introduced me.
"This is James, and this is Hemanth. They will stay several yards away from you, but I need them to stay close enough to watch you. I know you're eager to learn and explore on your own, but the Southern wolves could attack at any time. I want you to be able to master your new body, but I need to know that you're safe. Is this an acceptable compromise to your requests?"
I nodded hurriedly, eager to get away and explore. The instincts inside of me were jumping at the opportunity to become better acquainted. He patted my head lovingly, and I couldn't help but snarl in return at his blatant disregard for my earlier admissions. I know what I am supposed to be for him, what we are supposed to be for each other, but I just can't handle that right now. I can't deal with and process that as well as everything else. He looked hurt by what I had to say, but I knew he understood, in some way. It was different for him because this has always been his life. I had a completely different life in my past, and this present was hard to take in. It didn't help that I had to accept that my future was chosen for me as well. I never imagined that my soul mate would be an actual thing that was pre-determined. His sad look quickly transformed into one of control and order as he turned to wolves behind me.
"Guard he with your lives."
He turned and walked away, only sparing a quick glance in my direction as he disappeared inside of the large home. I was free to learn and explore, and my new guards were already off on the sidelines giving me the freedom to begin on my own. I let out a quick puff of air between my teeth. How did I use my new senses and instincts to their fullest potential? I decided to walk into the forest in front of me, in an attempt to trigger the deeper parts of my new self, and clearly made the right choice. The sights, sounds, and smells bombarded me and I felt overjoyed to be within my element. I took a big, long breath through my nose and headed off in the direction of a wonderful smell. My instincts were telling me this was running water and boy was I running towards it.
It was quite a trek and I was uneasy on my new set of legs. I stumbled along, quickly slowing down from my previous running speed, but still kept tripping over every stick and stone in my path. I even slipped on a leaf at one point, and after that I heard a wolfish chuckle from a few yards away. I growled. What did they expect? I had no clue how to walk like a wolf, having never paid attention to wolves walking before. My growl quickly turned to a whine and a sigh, however, as I tripped yet again. I was upset at my failures and was hoping I would pick up on it just a bit faster than I had been. I slumped to the ground as I heard Hemanth, the marked wolf, scold James for upsetting me. They debated for a moment on what to do, before agreeing to come help me.
I snarled defensively. I didn't want any of their help, especially after James had been laughing at me mere moments before. I was emotional after the change my body went through, and I wanted to sulk. James snickered again, but was quickly scolded by Hemanth. Hemanth then moved on to scold me for giving up. He nudged my back, hard, in an attempt to get me up and going. I snapped at him once, then twice when he nudged me again, but then grudgingly obliged. Hemanth instructed James to lead the way and demonstrate techniques while he would trail behind us. He would observe as well as continue to guard. I was angry at myself for being unable to do this on my own. I wanted to be strong and persevere through the difficulties, but instead I had to rely on an immature male to show me the ropes. The whole point of this venture was to learn the ropes on my own.
As we kept going towards the water I sniffed out earlier, I kept a close eye on James's movements. The rhythm and synchronization of his legs as they trotted forward and found that the harder I focused, the more I noticed. I began to watch as each of his muscles expanded and contracted, how each of his paws moved in time with one another in that he was never tripping over his front feet with his back ones. I watched as he moved and skipped over different debris littering the forest floor, with little to no effort on his part at all. I did my best to mimic his movements exactly, and seemed to be doing much better than I was before when I suddenly heard the stream. Amazingly, my ears perked up and twitched as the sounds of the running water reached me. I could even smell that we had about a mile to go until we were there.
After watching James's movements, my confidence was boosted. I couldn't contain my excitement regardless, and sprinted forward to reach the water's edge. As I reached it, I was proud of myself for not even stumbling once. I leaned down and took big gulps of the cool, refreshing liquid until I was well hydrated and my energy replenished. I couldn't quite place it, and maybe it was just the wolf in me, but I was overly excited about the stream and plopped down into the water with a splash. I realized, that this was actually pretty cool. I am a werewolf! I can turn into a wolf! I yipped in excitement and jumped around for a moment as the men laughed with me, just now catching up.
The men. I thought really hard about them for a moment as people, not as wolves, beasts or the like. While they were similar to those rabid wolves that had torn apart my friends and family, they were very different. I felt the urges that they feel. I knew now that while my wolf side certainly had a part to play in my thoughts and feelings, I was still a person. I felt a slight bit of remorse, but quickly shook it off. I was justified in my anger before, and even if I was uninformed, there was no way I could have known. I knew now that these people were kind, other than Connor, the wolf who had me unjustly isolated. Oliver was kind from the moment we met, Kai as well, once he discovered I wasn't a threat to his pack. His own pack had howled their acceptance of me, and they hadn't even truly met me. James and Hemanth agreed to guard me with their lives just so I had an opportunity to learn and explore my new body and surroundings, and this was all after a few hours! I had been nothing but critical of them all in the short time since I've arrived, I almost died just because I didn't want to become one of them. I had to accept who I was now, and what these people would be to me. I was a wolf, they were my pack, and this was my home. My father wanted me to be strong, and I would be. I would be stronger than he ever could have imagined.
I stood in pride at my new form. I told Kai I wanted to go out and experience it, but have done little more than grumble and stumble along. I took another quick gulp of water, and sauntered my way up to a ledge not far down the stream. There was a decently sized watering hole at the edge of it, and I planned to take full advantage of it. Let's see what this body can do. I backed up slightly, crouched down, and looked out. Hemanth looked out at me, slightly concerned, whereas you could see that James knew exactly what I had in mind. I took a deep breath and pushed against my back legs. I stopped for a moment and felt my muscles as they tensed up. I relished in the feeling of strength and power coursing throught me, and then shoved myself forward into a full sprint. My speed quickly rivaled that of anything I had ever witnessed before, much more than any human. As I reached the edge of the small cliff, Hemanth finally realizing my intent, and yelped for me to stop. It was too late at that point.
I leaped from the grassy ledge and sailed forward through the air. I had completely planned on staying concentrated on my surroundings when I jumped, but the second my body was in the air seconds turned to minutes as I was mesmerized. I could feel everything. The wind billowing through my soft fur, gently touching my tough skin and leaving wisps of cold air upon it. The dirt flying from my paws as the air weaved in and out of each crack and crevice. The bite of the wind in my eyes as the speed of my descent blurred my vision. I could feel so much of everything with my new body and senses that it was very nearly overwhelming, but still noticed as the ground came closer and closer calling me back to attention. I focused once again and locked my eyes onto the watering hole. I straightened my form as best I could, and dove snout first into the water.
I expected the cold water to shock me, at least slightly, and was prepared for it, but was pleasantly surprised when I experienced otherwise. My dense fur knotted up in the water, protecting my sensitive skin from the cool caress of the stream. It was wonderful, truly wonderful, even my underwater senses were better than my old human senses. I quickly noticed that my lung capacity was still about the same, and swam upwards. The additional legs made it a little difficult, but I managed well enough. I took a deep breath as I reached the surface, clearly joyful from the experience, when my mood was dashed by the harsh clamping of jaws on the scruff of my neck. I was snatched out of the water and dragged to shore like a child, a pup, and I was furious.
I snarled and snapped wanting to be released. I was enjoying myself immensely, and what's more is I was learning more about my body in the last few minutes than I had during this entire trip. He let loose a low and deafening growl that stalled me. He did not like my way of play, and was making it overly clear. At first, I was stunned by the anger that radiated from him. His fur stuck out sharply along his spine and traveled all the way down his tail. His lips curled upwards showing off his sharp teeth as he snapped at me again, telling me to back away from the water as I could no longer be trusted in it. His words shattered my initial shock at his mood, and I was immediately equally as infuriated. Who was he to tell me that I could not be trusted with my own body? I was a grown woman, and was far from careless. The ledge was no more than 10 feet higher than the surface of the water and I had seen children jump from higher than that. I myself had jumped from higher than that as a fragile human, and wasn't I supposed to be stronger now than I was before? He wouldn't hear any part of my argument however, and continued to growl at me to retreat from the water's edge.
I curled my lip up at him in return, something told me that this was not his place. He was told to guard me from outside dangers, and I felt like this was a clear overstep of his boundaries. He had the audacity to continue to growl and stand his ground. James was standing behind him, whimpering, and trying to defuse the situation. I was too infuriating to hear his pleas while Hemanth was drinking too deeply from the pool of power. My instincts were going wild. He did not have the authority to rule me, and he was wrong to try. I chose to ignore his stance, and turned around to venture back towards the ledge. It was fun, and I was learning quite a lot from it about my limits and my body by running, jumping, and swimming. I didn't make it too far before he clamped his mouth around the edge of my tail and pulled. My instincts did not like that at all, and frankly, neither did I.
I flipped around and posed my body into a fighting stance, every part of my actions were fueled by the wolf within, because I certainly had no former knowledge of a battle between wolves. I growled menacingly, unaware that I could even produce such a violent sound. Hemanth snapped his jaws at my legs, in a last minute attempt to push me back towards the safety of the house, but I refused. We began circling each other, preparing for the battle ahead. He was looking around nervously, and it was obvious that he had no intention of fighting me, but my inner wolf and I were deeply offended by his show of power and the disrespect he gave us. I used the opportunity of his distraction and search for an exit as a chance to attack, and jumped forward. He was clearly caught off guard as I grabbed the scruff of his neck and yanked his body to the ground. His yelp of surprise quickly transformed into a snarl of anger and he bucked me off him, then flipped around to show me his teeth.
I would not be bullied into following his rules, but became distracted for a moment at the sound of approaching paws. Hemanth immediately took the opportunity to use my own tactics against me and used the distraction to his advantage. He clamped down on my back left leg, and dragged me down to the ground. I twisted my body around so that I was on my back, and dug my paws into the soft flesh of his stomach. He yelped and released me before jumping back, fleeing from my sharp claws. I snatched him by the throat during his escape and shoved his body into the dirt before he had a chance to react. He instantly resisted, trying to escape my grasp, but I simply ground my teeth further into his skin. My animal side wanted his full submission before it would release him. He had been disrespectful in more ways than one, and disrespectful of the command from his Alpha. He was not told to restrict my play and learning, and was in fact told to remain a few yards away from me to simply watch for outside danger. He was overstepping his boundaries by trying to implement his own rules.
The thundering paws from before were closer now, and then I felt a shiver in the air as someone shifted. I looked up briefly to see who it was, but tightened my grip on Hemanth as I did so to prevent escape. James lurked in the shadows, clearly submissive in wolf form, but Kai and Oliver were stepping out of the forest into the light in their human forms. I growled lowly at them as they made moves to interfere. I would have his submission before I would relent. They stopped in their tracks, and Kai's face held a deadly glare. I turned my attention back to my jaws and the wolf between them. He was still refusing submission. I tightened my grip, but moved my teeth from side to side as I did so, further tearing into his flesh. He finally whimpered in defeat, and I released him. He quickly assumed the submissive position on the ground and turned his neck towards me, calming the wolf within me. I snarled once more, for good measure, and trotted over cheerfully to Kai. My animal side was finally calmed down, and I returned to my chipper mood from before as I shook all the tension and water out of my fur and onto the men before me. Oliver laughed, but Kai still held an air of fury to him. I tilted my head and whined in confusion at his mood.
"I going to teach you how to shift back now, little wolf. I'm sorry for cutting your day short, but I would like to talk about what the hell just happened."
His teeth were clenched together tightly as he spoke, the words barely weaving their way through them. Oliver spoke up next, since Kai's skin was shimmering from flesh to fur in his fury.
"You'll be relieved to know that changing back for the first time is a lot easier, mostly because your body already knows what it's turning into. There's no confusion as your bones create something new because you just have to imagine yourself as you were before, in human form, Luna."
I stepped back and did as he instructed, and while the shift hurt it was a mere paper cut in comparison to the devastating pain that nearly killed me before. My limbs receded slightly and bent back towards their original positions as my fur disappeared into flesh. My brown locks grew out and cascaded down my back, which I noticed was now bare. I let out a high pitched tip as I noticed I was naked, but Kai came prepared with a shirt and sweatpants that I hadn't even noticed he was carrying. I stumbled a little as I got dressed, having to remember how to use my old legs again. Once clothed, I made my way over the the men standing off to the side of my stream.
I headed over to the two just barely familiar men, and an additional unfamiliar one who I assumed to be James in human form. He was a goofy, cheerful looking male with deep russet colored curls and a wide grin.
"It's nice to meet you, Luna."
This marked multiple times that someone had referred to me as someone or something that I had no knowledge of, and it was frustrating. I stuck my hand out to meet his, but chose that moment to address and correct the issue before it continued to go on.
"It's nice to meet you too, but please, call me Ellie. I'm not quite sure who or what a Luna is, but it sounds a little more formal than I'm comfortable with."
"Absolutely not!" Kai roared, "Pack members only refer to their superiors by their titles. It's completely disrespectful otherwise."
"Shouldn't I decide what I am disrespected by? This isn't something I grew up with, and it makes me uncomfortable. If I don't want to be called something, then you respect my wishes and don't call me that. That's the bottom line, and respect is where this whole problem started today."
I pointed over to what I assumed to be Hemanth, who had also shifted. A large, toned Indian man stood where the wolf once was. If you had told me this man would shift into a grizzly bear instead of a wolf like his pack, then I wouldn't have hesitated to believe you. His face was covered by a well kept beard and his hair extended just to his shoulders. He scowled in my direction as I gestured to him, but a quick lift of my lips to showcase my teeth wiped the expression from his face.
"I may be your mate, and you're an Alpha and I guess that makes me a Luna but I am still me. I am new to all of this, but I know that you won't dictate who I am as a person. You can't tell me that I don't have a say in what other people call me, that is my choice. You do not get to stop me from doing things that I want to do, and the only time you get any say at all is when I take your thoughts and feelings into consideration with my own. I am in control of my life, not you. I am under no obligation to stay here with you. I am here because I choose to be, and this is where I feel like I want to be right now. However, the moment that you start making choices for me and restricting my actions I won't feel like this is a good place for me anymore and I will leave. I will not be controlled like a child."
Hemanth growled defensively, but a snarl from Kai quickly cut him off. James was standing there with his mouth open, clearly baffled by my rant whereas Oliver's loud guffaws echoed in the forest around us.
"She is going to have you running in circles and chasing your own tail, dude."
I twitched in anger at Oliver's words, but he quickly amended his statement.
"I didn't mean it as an insult, Ellie." He made it a point to use my name in an effort to calm me. "It's about time someone around here gave this old Alpha a run for his money. He's been stuck in the old ways for too long. You'll be turning his head so fast he'll get whiplash."
"This isn't funny." Kai growled. "Hemanth was only trying to protect yo-"
"Protect me? Protect me from what? Water? Is there a shifting water demon I don't know about?"
Oliver chuckled but was cut short by Kai's ferocious growls, whereas I refused to be phased by his show of threatening masculinity. I made my stance quite clear.
"You could have hurt yourself jumping into the water like that. It was too dangerous to be allowed to continue. What if it were too shallow, or if the current was faster than you realized? There are so many circumstances that could put you in danger."
"All of those circumstances are assuming that I'm incompetent in regards to my safety. I'm smart enough to judge the speed and depth of water, but thanks for the confidence boost."
Oliver and James both snorted at my sarcastic tone, but I chose to ignore them as I continued.
"I will not be viewed as a helpless infant in need of your never ending protection and assistance. I believe I more than proved myself when I forced him into submission. Look at the size of him!"
James and Oliver were now all out laughing, mostly at Hemanth's expense now.
"It's not a question of your intelligence or even your capability, but I don't think concern for your safety is something that I should be faulted for."
A silent glare from Kai quickly silenced the two.
"If you believe that I am incapable of keeping myself safe from the natural elements of the world, then I certainly take that as an insult and a question of my intelligence. I've lived in the forest for years, and the only thing that has changed is that I am now exploring it on four legs instead of two. I am completely understanding of these men guarding me against attacks, but I will not stand by and allow you to abuse that power to limit my enjoyment of the world around me. It's completely insulting that you don't trust my judgement on something as simple as jumping into a pool of water. If this small thing is such a large issue, then what am I to expect when it comes to larger issues? I am a grown woman and I expect to be treated as such."
Kai sighed and stood there for a moment carefully choosing his next words. Hemanth, however, chose this as his opportunity to speak up.
"I understand why you are upset, my Luna. You have gained my respect. I will respect your opinion and continue to have faith in your ability to govern your body safely on a day to day basis. I'm sorry for my actions before, and I am sorry that your inner wolf felt the need to push me into submission. I did not mean to question your authority as my Luna. I also would like to apologize for referring to you as my Luna. I understand your reluctance on the title, as this world is unfamiliar to you. If you truly wish for me to refer to you as Giselle, or Ellie, then I will comply, but I call you my Luna out of respect for you and it would make me uncomfortable to do otherwise."
This was the first I had heard him speak during all of this, and took a quick moment to absorb his words. It seemed, from the reaction of everyone else as well, that Hemanth was a man of few words. After a fair amount of time to take what he had to say into consideration I nodded and smiled in response to him.
"Thank you for your honesty, and your respect. If it means that much to you, and is truly your way of respecting me, then you can continue to call me Luna."
Kai sighed and turned to the other men.
"Would you guys mind going ahead of us? Continue to keep a look out for any danger, but I would like to spend a moment alone with our Luna."
I huffed at his use of the title. Hemanth used it as a way to show respect, and what's more was respectful in his request to continue to refer to me as such. Kai used it as a method of intimidation. A way to enforce that he was higher up than those below him. He also ignored my wishes and did not even ask to use the title, but made the decision on his own. I was visibly upset, and thus the men quickly shifted and dispersed. They were eager to escape the argument that was soon to come between the two of us. They sprinted ahead, and I was left alone with my mate.
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This is the revised version of the chapter. The wolf above is Hemanth, so just imagine a wolf without the black markings on the side to get an idea of what James looks like.