Never have I been like this before at least not at work. I tried hard not to let this sort of behavior occur anywhere outside the comfort of my home. Now look at me. I'm a mess.
Relax Sage, you were taught to always handle all sorts of situations. Don't mess up now. How father would have my ass right now if he even caught a glimpse of the state I was in.
I've never been more thankful for the absurd walls around me than now. I slid down the closed door wounding my arms around myself. I could still feel his arms around me, his hot breath on my neck. My heart is still beating too fast to be considered healthy. My body aching with need for him.
I clutched at my chest, kneading my knuckles at the pain, trying to relieve some of the tension. It hurt but not for the reason that it should. I couldn't place it. This isn't even fear. Than why did I react like that?
My mind kept going back to what just happened and I have never been happier for my ability to keep my composure now more than ever. I brought one hand up to grasp at my forehead. That man couldn't be serious, no not about me.
I winced as a headache started to form. Crawling over to my desk I rummage through my bag to rid myself of any pending pain. My thoughts kept going back to what occurred in his office, and really how could it not.
For the past couple of weeks Mr. Amoux had tried to get me to go out with him. So much so that he even started to tag along when I went to see how things were going among the employes. When it came to work the man was brilliant. My chest would fill with pride over the fact that I worked for him. Through our rounds I leaped in joy that we got to spend time together though I knew better.
He'd ask questions now and then which increased one by one and they'd get more personal then the next. When I wouldn't answer he'd response with his own and we both knew I listened despite my indifference.I was glad for my excellent composure or my floozy little self would have been bent over a desk, ass in the air an open invite for him to ravish me. Like he had once said he fantasy me in.
The things that man has uttered has had me spending personal time with my hand far too much for my liking and nearly fried my mine with the obscene images. Like the countless times I have said that man is not healthy for me.
I knew that before I came to work here he hadn't been the one to run things around here. And so we had a lot to do about some of his incompetent staff. Through it all I have come to realize how strong my will power is. I have wanted nothing more than to make his words and my fantasies come true. I just kept reminding myself that I was at work and such public acts were illegal.
The man truly was amazing though. He owned numerous businesses however left them in the hands of capable men and\or women. He had other business he personally dealt with. The one I worked at was his largest and most well known. He had trusted the wrong man and the old secretary at the time to do their job but I was more than capable of fixing such mediocre problems.
I knew his field of work ventured more than this marketing group and that he may have another secretary that dealt with his more personal business. But in all honesty I thought since he had settled down to working here and he knew about my reputation that he'd eventually make me his own personal assistant.
It hurt my pride yet boosted it all the same when he started with his advances. Even if I didn't except them, I got myself drunk on his attention when I was in the privacy of my own home. It fueled my imagination and deprived my body of any fluid. Not healthy, not one bit.
That was where the problem lay. I knew it made him angry that I kept rejecting him. However I couldn't get myself to trust his words. He liked me? The last time I let those kind of words get to me it left me broken and healing, physically and mentally for years.
I know Mr. Amoux isn't like that guy but I'm not willing to throw the comfortable life I've managed to secure for myself. And something told me this man could shatter me instead of the cracks that had been inflicted and I won't be able to put myself together. A shudder went down my shine at how much power he had over me.
My hands shook as I looked at my watch. It took me awhile to see which hand was on what number. I couldn't tell how long I'd been immobile but from my stiff muscles it seemed like hours. My mind cleared and like my father told me, I dealt with my issues by throwing myself at my work.
That's right. I have documents to prepare, arrangements need to be put into action, so many things need to be done today. I was about to hurl myself up only to realize that I was sitting under my desk. My cheeks heated up. This is embarrassing.
I can't believe myself. Hiding under my own desk. I shook my head, probably look like some scared child. You're pathetic Sage, simply pathetic. You're only capable during work and now not even that!
Argh. I clutched my head. Just when the pain was going away. My eyes drifted to the closed office door and widen. My headache grew but I ignored it when I become conscious of the fact that I had left him alone after he had suffered such a horrible attack. What is wrong with me!
How could I leave him like that? There was obviously something wrong with him and I just left him?! How useless am I to not have thought to do something about it? How conceited can I be to have only been thinking about myself?
Put feelings aside Sage. You need to get back in there and tend to him. He needs me. The thought echoed throughout me and my fears evaporated. It was all I needed to motivate me to stand.
"Oww," I hissed rubbing my head as I crawled out and walked to the door. Had to forget that I was under my desk didn't I. Forgetting the dull pain I look at the only thing separating me from my desires coming true.
I raise my hand to knock. I didn't want to scare him, to trigger whatever had happened earlier. He had been so frighten and it seemed that my presence only made it worse. Yet he wanted me there. Wanted to hold me. No it was like he needed to. Like I was the only thing that could soothe him.
My hands moved back to where his arms had been. He had held me so tight but it hadn't hurt. I could some urgency in his touch. Through the whole ordeal I clung to him. Praying to anyone that would care to listen to help the man that held my heart.
And did he. I didn't want to give it to him. I feared the pain he could cause me with just his words. I had never felt this way. I'd been alone for far too long, I never dreamed anyone would come barging into it demanding my every attention. Yet here this man, this beautiful, brilliant, man was, begging me to give him my heart when he had clearly had it from a mere glance at him without either of us knowing.
I gave a small knock not wanting to startle him and gave another when there wasn't a responds. Strangely enough this reminded me of my first day. I knock one more time before entering. At least this time I know what's behind the door.
I stopped in my tracks when I noticed he wasn't in the room. Laying on the sofa was the furring odd ball that I hadn't seen in weeks sleeping like he didn't have a care in the world. I went to the bathroom. Had Boots been here all along?
"Mr. Amoux? Are you in there? Is everything alright?"
No response.
"I'm coming in."
My mind kept racing with different scenarios of what I could see inside. Please me fine. I held my breath as I swung the door open. .....Ahh, there's no one here?
"Mr. Amoux?"
I turned around, going over to Boots. Could he have walked out without me realizing it? Was I that out of it? I kneeled by Boots head and lead my head next to his. "Boots he didn't let me know how he was or even say goodbye."
He didn't stir but he's nose twitched. I chuckled, "Oh Boots how I missed you."
He was so beautiful. I watched him, running my fingers through the white part of his fur. How strange though, usually when he's coped up in here he seeks any kind of attention he can get and is overly excited. I wonder what got him so tired. Maybe he felt his master's pain.
"I don't know what happened earlier but I know it was partially my fault it had started. I'm sorry I upset your master."
I felt tears swell up and unwanted memories return. I wield for them to go away but I had no such luck. This was why I had told him to stop. But he hadn't. He didn't listen. And now they were all coming back. All the memories. All those horrid memories. All the betrayal. All the pain. Mr. Amoux couldn't be serious. It was one thing to fantasize about the godly man but another to actually believe that it could be reality.
I felt Boots stir beneath my hand. I looked at him to see him staring at me....fuzzily? Was that possible? I rolled my eyes. That was right, with this little guy I couldn't associate him with the word normal.
I yelped when he leaned over and his teeth grasped my shirt yet somehow missing to bite any flesh. I lay there next to him in complete shock. My mouth the perfect imitation of a fish out of water.
He did not just lift me onto the sofa. Nope, it did not happen. I gaze down to see that I was indeed laying down and that he had nuzzled himself comfortably on top of me and fallen asleep.
Nope that did not just happen.
"Boots?"
I nudged his head but got no reply. He laid so that his paws were resting on top of me and his head was under my chin and nuzzled himself there. Okay that did it, he was not normal. No way, he could be.
I hadn't even aided him. He literally pulled all my weight on his own onto the couch. I wanted to get up and leave. I couldn't process what just occurred and my brain was definitely not up for it. Today was too much, added to that I had work to do. Still I didn't have the heart to move him.
"Oh gosh Boots what in the world are you?" I rolled my eyes. I asked as if I was going to get an answer from the furry creature.
_______________________________________________________________________
A/N: Its short but it had been a long time since I updated. Since the semester is over I'll be getting extremely lazy (._.) Well for at least a week, Then summer classes start. (#+_+) So I thought, better something than nothing. No?
Well I hope all you lovely readers liked it either way! ♡
~UNEDITED