"I knew you couldn't say no to me for long, Joshua"
That bitch!
What happened to ' He chases me, but I gotta keep it professional'?
Professional my ass!
I start writhing under the mattress in anger. I don't think that I've ever felt this mad and betrayed in my life. The scary part is that I feel sad too. I try not to focus on the source for my sadness and disappointment. Instead, I put all of my energy into being pissed off.
And god was I pissed off.
My air supply got cut off when even more weight was added to the mattress. My face was practically one with the fucking carpet. This would probably take the cake for the worst most awkward situation of my life. My hands squeezed into fists when I heard Amanda moan once again. Jesus, the girl was loud.
"Lilly," I hear Joshua say, drunkenly.
I realize that I'm still clutching the bag of blueberries when my fist crinkles the plastic bag. Does he know that I'm here? Oh god, did they figure out that I'm here?
"No, A-M-A-N-D-A," I hear Amanda correct him from on top of me.
Holy shit! Joshua thinks that Amanda is me? What does that mean exactly? I wonder how freaking drunk he really is.
I reach the end of my patience when I start to see clothes hit the floor. I would not be under them while they did it! Hell no!
This was it!
I push my body forward, my head being the first part of my body free. I continue to slide and push until I'm completely out in the open. Our two little lovers didn't even notice the third presence in the room; too busy vacuuming their faces off.
I start to get up, but I realize that one of my legs has fallen asleep when I topple to the floor.
The yelp and bang that my body makes when I hit the floor definitely get their attention.
How come every time Joshua is having sex with someone I end up falling on the floor?
I try to stand up once again and sway a little, but finally get both feet secured on the ground. You would think that I was the drunk one, with all of the balance issues I'm having.
"You lying, sabotaging faker!" I yell in complete anger.
All of the attention is on me now.
Joshua pulls himself up and looks at me confusingly.
"What are you doing all the way over there?" He stutters, his voice sounding drunk and confused. He looks around and his eyes land on Amanda.
"The fuck?" He yells while jumping from the bed as if it's burned him. I conclude that he's finally noticed who the heck he was getting busy with. The award for best observation skills while being drunk goes to Joshua Lachowski!
I'm still incredibly pissed off and I thrust the bag of blueberries towards Amanda. The berries go flying everywhere and shower her in fruitiness. Surprisingly, Amanda looks just as pissed off with me.
"You jealous little bitch!" Amanda yells from the bed.
I don't even want to be in the room anymore, so I storm out through the door and head towards the elevator. My feet make loud thumps as I press the up button with incredible force. I'm about to break the freaking thing, when I hear Joshua behind me.
"Lilly! I need to talk to you, please Lilly?" Joshua asks from behind me.
At the same time, the elevator doors slide open and my feet take me inside.
I stare at him, while the doors begin to slide shut. I see him start to walk closer, but pull back when he hears my insult.
"No, fuck you!" I yell, mere seconds before the doors clink shut.
I start crying angry tears during the whole ride down to my room. All I can think of is how much I hate this job, these people, and my overall stupid life.
When I slam my hotel door shut and slide down to sit on the floor, I'm still crying. I don't know why this is affecting me so much. It's just that the moment that I feel like everything is getting better; I end up being stabbed in the back.
I remember Roxanna's words during the photoshoot and get even madder. She was dead wrong. I don't belong with these cheating people, I never have.
The worst part is that although I'm hurt and disappointed by Amanda's lies, Joshua is the reason I'm most pissed off. I hate to admit it, but I had actually thought that something was different earlier in the day. God, for a certified genius, I was fucking stupid.
I resolve to just get over this entire episode. I was going to be strictly cold and professional with Joshua from now on. I didn't give a shit about his family life and all of his crap. I wouldn't, not anymore.
My resolve was undeniably shattered, when I heard a banging on my door.
"Lilly, will you please open the door?" Joshua yells from the other side.
I cannot believe that he didn't give up when I insulted him on the elevator. I stay quiet on the floor, waiting for him to give up and leave.
"I'm not leaving, Lilly." He says, almost reading my mind. I can't help but notice that he still doesn't sound totally sober. I wonder how much he really drank. I was supposed to be on top of shit like that, but once again I had fucked up my job.
"Go away!" I whine almost like a little girl. I hate that my voice betrays that I've been crying.
"Lilly." Is all that Joshua says.
Several minutes pass before either of us say anything. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm sure that he's leaning on the other side of the door, just like me.
Or maybe I'm wrong, and he's already left. I'm always wrong, it seems.
"Forgive me?" He asks from the other side. I realize that he's been waiting for me to open the door for half an hour.
"I have nothing to forgive. I don't even know why you're here. I don't give a crap who you sleep with, alright?" I try to make my voice sound sincere and final. I don't want to give in.
"Please open the door?" He doesn't contest what I've said, just continues to plead with me.
I stay quiet and wait for him to leave. I'm almost sure that he's ready to give up.
"Lilly, I don't feel so good" He says after another half hour. I don't want to feel bad, but he really doesn't sound very good. Not like earlier, where he sounded drunk. Now he just sounded sick.
I hate myself for pulling the handle and extending my hand to him. He's sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. His eyes rise and land on my extended palm. This is the first time that Joshua doesn't look good. I'm a little shocked at how sick he looks, actually.
"Come on." I say dejectedly.
He listens and lets me pull him up. He can barely keep himself steady and I start to freak out when he starts to gag.
"Bathroom." He states in between trying to get air. I lead him to the bathroom and hold him back, while he gives it all he's got.
I help him up and flush the toilet after he's practically just puked his guts out. I feel really conflicted between being really pissed off and feeling pity. I hand him a cup full of water, while he leans unsteadily on the bathroom counter. He's starting to paler and I can see the sweat starting to form around his shoulders. I guess that he forgot to put his shirt back on, before he came over here.
After he finishes drinking, I lead him to the bed and help him lie down. He seems about ready to pass out, so I pull the covers up and let him rest. I don't know why I crawl and smooth some of his hair out of his face. It's just that I feel sort of bad for him. It doesn't mean that I don't hate myself for being so weak. I should have let him puke outside my door! That would have taught him.
I sigh and move to the opposite side of the bed. I make sure to smooth out the covers from under me and lean back towards the pillow. I look at the clock that rests on the nightstand and see that it's almost seven in the morning. My eyes slide shut and I let myself fall asleep. I'll worry about Joshua later, I tell myself.
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Joshua's hand is on my face and his pinky finger is poking me in the eye.
I try to lean away from the discomfort, turning to the side to get some more sleep. My heart starts to beat really fast when I think that we have an appointment to get to. Then, I remember that this is our last day in London, and that it's a free day.
I try to fall asleep, but I realize with dread that I'm more alert than ever. I hate it when that happens.
I pull my groggy butt out of the bed, leaving Joshua still sound asleep, and head to the bathroom.
My bed head is a complete horror, I note as I brush my teeth and walk back into the bedroom.
"Nice hair," Joshua says shyly when he sees me walk in. I realize that he's awake and I remember when he said the same thing and we had gotten into our hair fight. I give a small smile.
To say that things felt awkward between us was a massive understatement. I don't know why, but it bugs me to no end that it feels like we're both walking on glass around each other. I decide to take him by surprise and maybe distract him from feeling weird.
"Why did you say that modeling saved your family?" I ask outright. I don't even know why that question popped up, I just needed something to clear up the awkward silence.
I don't give him time to respond before I shoot another row of questions, "What was yesterday's phone call about? Why did you push that guy from the bar? Why were you sleeping with Amanda? And why-" I cut myself off in embarrassment.
I sound like one of those freaky jealous girlfriends who want to know everything about their boyfriends. I realize with horror that I sound like Minerva. I shudder when the notion hits me.
"Are you alright?" Joshua asks, when he notices my shudder.
"Look, I'm sorry it's none of my business. Just forget that I asked..." I trail off awkwardly and look around the room. I accept that things will probably be awkward between us from now on and head to my suitcase. I don't know if I should tell him to leave now, or if that will only makes things weirder. Maybe, he'll get the hint?
It comes as totally unexpected when I hear his voice from behind me, "I have a sister. Her name is Lara."
It comes out just as out-of-nowhere as my first question. I turn to see that he looks like he regrets letting his words out. I realize that this must be some big secret, because I don't remember reading about any siblings when I had researched my little job assignment.
I try to act nonchalant as I shuffle through my suitcase.
"Really?" I comment casually. I don't want him to notice how much I want to know about her.
Joshua is a big brother? I wonder if he was any good at it. I also wonder if he was as great of a brother as mine.
But, what if he rejected his little sister too?
"Yeah, she's twelve. She likes to play soccer and stuff." Joshua says, I turn and see him look down at the bed sheets. He's sitting up now and fiddling with the cloth.
I drop the nonchalant act, walk up to the mattress, and I plop myself down and start twiddling my fingers.
"I have a brother. The crazy bitch that you met at the airport is his wife. He doesn't talk to me anymore." I hate how much resentment muddles into my voice, but I look up with a smile. I've already felt bad about myself during the first few months after his wedding, no need to be a constant downer.
"That sucks. Why?" He actually sounds genuinely puzzled when he asks.
"His wife doesn't like me. Honestly, it's a long boring story. The point is that she's a controlling psycho." I smile at my description. That was just the surface of the many words that I could use to describe Minerva.
Joshua smiles back and he opens his mouth as if to speak. I know that I probably look hesitant and then disappointed when I see him shut his mouth closed again.
Joshua focuses all of his attention on the mattress, as if it were some world wonder.
"My sister has a cleft lip. She was born with it and she sort of hates it. Little kids have bullied her about it ever since she was little. It pissed me off, but I could never do anything to make her feel better, until I started modeling." Joshua tells the sheets all of this, because he doesn't dare look me in the eye. I'm sort of grateful that he hasn't looked at me, because I don't really know how to react right now.
"I used to feel bad about being a model, because I felt like she resented it, but then I realized that I could use my modeling to help her," He continues after a brief pause.
"Just yesterday, she called me crying, because some little jerk had bugged her about it. I felt really frustrated. I'm working to get her an operation to fix it, it's what she wants. Every time that I go visit, she asks me if I have enough money, yet. I hate that I always say no. I just need my career to pick up some more, once I hit it big I can get it for her. You know?" Joshua's hair falls over his eyes and lands on his forehead when he looks up.
We stare at each other for a while; I use the time to get my thoughts together.
I cannot believe that Joshua actually has a goal in life, and an unselfish benevolent one to top it off. It's actually really sweet what he's doing for his sister. I realize that I have a new found respect for Joshua. I can also understand what his sister is going through. Being the twelve year old genius in a class full of fifteen year old freshmen was pretty tough.
"That's really sweet of you. Trust me, I know all about being the different kid in school." I say honestly.
Joshua smiles and we both lean back on the headboard in comfortable silence. It makes sense that Joshua would get so depressed after his phone calls. I was feeling down, and she wasn't even my sister. I'm also feeling pretty bubbly inside, because I know that I'm the first person Joshua has confessed this too. I wonder if they give nosy awards? It could be a huge golden nostril...
My mind travels to Lannings email about the big party that we're planning. Well, that I'm planning. My big mouth had already said yes in the last reply that I sent. I had done some research during my spare time and found out that it was a really big deal. Floor length gowns, ice sculptures, and all of that jazz. The idea popped into my head and I brushed it off.
I couldn't do that...could I? Before I could convince myself otherwise, I did the second most random thing of the day.
"Want to go fabric shopping with me?" I asked randomly. Joshua gave me a weird look before replying.
"It's our last day in London, and you want to go look at cloth?" Joshua asks confusedly
"You want to go, or not?" I ask him, looking at him with narrowed eyes. I have a big idea brewing and I think that I might need his help.
Joshua smiles wide and winks, "I'm in."
HOLY MOLY FIFTEEN CHAPTERS! Thank you guys so much for reading! I'm weak! I couldn't help it and I posted this chapter before the fifty votes. *Shame on me* I just couldn't help it. I wanted to know what Lilly would do after the last chapter as much as you guys! So, here it is. The next chapter will be a Joshua + Lilly adventure :D What kind of trouble will these two kids get into?
THIS TIME I SWEAR, Next chapter will be up after at least 30 votes. No less, I'm promising this to myself! So please vote, comment, fan, etc! I really appreciate it and it keeps me so motivated! Thank you guys so much :)
OHHH! And this chapter has a song, I listened to this song like 30 times on repeat, while I wrote this entire chapter. It's to the right :P (Weird thing is, I only like the chorus. The rest of the song annoys the life out of me, aside from the chorus. :O )