Ben
December 31, 2005
*
Same day
*
I had most of it figured out, but then Red sent us a picture of the letter, which really helped speed things up. As soon as we had solid evidence, we drove straight here.
I knew she had stalled getting Kat ready for as long as she could, but damn.
Kat looks amazing.
I mean, she always looks amazing, but the outfit she's wearing now is so different from how she normally looks. This suits her personality more than the flowery dresses or baggy T-shirts she's always wearing.
She looks like a grown up woman who works at a bank, or some shit like that. I would totally start banking there just to see her. I would totally find some reason to go in every day.
I knew she'd try to run when she saw me, but it didn't make me feel any better when it actually happened. I know she thinks she's protecting me, but what she doesn't realize is, I don't care about any of it. All I want is to protect her.
Her eyes dart up to meet mine when I grab her arm and I'm reminded of a frightened animal when it's been cornered. I hate holding her here against her will, but I can't let her leave until I tell her everything.
"Come with me, Kat." I tug, as gently as possible.
"Like I have a choice." In typical Kat fashion, she rolls her eyes at me. I've missed her so much. I can't believe I'm standing next to her right now. She continues to try to pull her arm away, but I don't let go.
Now that I finally have her, I won't ever let her go. Well, figuratively, of course. Literally never letting her go would be kind of creepy and honestly, a little difficult to accomplish.
"For Godsakes woman, for once, just listen to me. Please." Her eyes go wide, but she nods, giving up on trying to pull away.
Finally.
She follows me to an empty, more secluded, table.
I sit across from her, so I can see her face better and gauge her reactions. I feel like I've been given a new life, just sitting here like this with her.
Just to two of us, like it's meant to be.
"So..." Nate plops down in the seat next to me.
Mother fucking fucker.
And of course, Red slides in next to Kat. What the hell?
"God dammit guys, seriously? Can't we get a little privacy?" I sigh, rubbing my hands down my face.
"What? I want to know what's going on. Besides, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me." Red crosses her arms and gives me a smug smile.
Oh great. Shit is about to hit the fan. Red and her big fucking mouth.
"Wait, what?" Kat looks so completely flabbergasted, that I almost feel bad for coming here. "You knew about this? You lied to me?"
And the other two girls are pulling up chairs. Just fucking perfect.
Red whispers, like we all can't hear, but she's loud as fuck, so we hear every word. "No, he really wasn't coming, but then I read the letter and I'm sorry, but I had to tell them. They can help you."
Kat's mouth is hanging open in disbelief, or maybe hurt. I can't tell at this point.
"I can't believe this." She looks around the table at the other girls. "Were you in on it too? Is that why you're acting so weird?"
"What? Weird? We are not acting weird." Luke's girlfriend isn't even convincing me and I barely know her.
"Uh, yes you are. You just happened to see us? Yeah, right. And you," she points at the hippie, "eating junk food, really?"
Nate clears his throat. "I think we're getting a little sidetracked here."
Kat's steely gaze cuts though him, but he's unaffected. Bastard. How does he remain so fucking calm in the eye of the storm?
The hippie leans forward, reaching towards Kat's hand. I wish I could do that, too. "Kat, you know we would never do anything to hurt you."
Kat jerks away, hurt flashing in her eyes. Her words come out low, like a whisper, but dangerous, like a threat. "You have no idea what you've done."
It's my turn to talk her down. "Kat, listen. Nobody is going to hurt you while I'm around. I will protect you."
"It's not me I'm worried about!" And with that she stands abruptly and stomps away.
Shit.
We all glance at each other for a split second, but I jump up first. Nobody follows, so I guess that makes me the designated Kat retriever.
She barely has a head start, plus she's wearing heels. Even though she's a runner, I can't be far behind her.
When I get outside, I look in every direction, but there's no sign of her anywhere.
Where could she be?
My instinct is to keep searching every inch of this city, but I know getting help would make more sense. Reluctantly, I return to the bar.
"Where is she?" Red opens her mouth first, of course.
And just like that, I immediately regret my decision to come back inside.
"I have no fucking clue." I grit my teeth, annoyed that I'm in here explaining myself instead of out there looking for my reason for living.
Collectively the girls all shriek at the same time with their confused little faces. It would be comical if I weren't dying inside.
"What do you mean?" Luke's girlfriend asks, looking genuinely concerned.
"You were right behind her!" The hippie looks at me like I've personally wronged her by singlehandedly killing the rain forest.
"You fucking lost her?" Red jumps up, knocking her chair over. "I'm going this time."
Nate stands up, picking up her chair and sitting it back upright. "Babe, we're all going."
"Oh." She deflates a bit, but I can still see the fire in her eyes when she looks at me. If anything happens to Kat, she'll blame me forever.
Not that it will matter, because if anything happens to Kat, I'll be dead myself. Her hatred would be nothing compared to what I would feel inside.
I have to find her. She has to be okay. I can't lose her, I just finally managed to get her back. Well, kind of back. Okay, maybe not, but I was about to.
"We need a plan." I know exactly what I need to do right now, but we have to distract the girls with something. I have to sound like I am in control, even though I'm falling apart inside, or everyone else will lose it too.
"We had a plan." Nate gives me a grim look and I know we've already fucked it all up, but we can't just wait for things to happen now. We have no choice.
I will not let Kat suffer because of my incompetence to control this situation.
"Ladies, search anywhere you can think of that Kat might be, maybe she is okay. She could have hid and I just didn't see her."
"Oh, no fucking way!" Red jumps up from her seat, scraping her chair loudly across the floor. "I am not going to just stay out of your way while you try to save her. We are coming with you, wherever you are going."
"And what makes you think I'm going anywhere?" I do my best to keep my emotions in check, hiding the rage I'm feeling inside.
"Oh, please. It's written all over your face. I'm not an idiot." Her annoying face lights up and she points her finger at me. "You know who has her! You do, don't you?"
"No, babe, I'm sorry. We don't know." Nate gives me a look that says to keep my mouth shut on this.
I nod in agreement. "Seriously, we need you to look for her. I'm going to make some calls to some people and see if anyone can track her down, but we need to know if she is actually missing or not." I'm trying my best to tone down the situation and keep everyone calm, even though I know exactly what has happened.
"We aren't doing anything until we know for sure that there is even anything to be worried about. Got it?" Nate's tone is strong, not leaving room for argument. Red relaxes slightly, as though she's in agreement. Or just defeated.
The girls head out, to search anywhere Kat could be hiding and I dial the only number I need to.
The phone rings for what feels like an eternity. Just as I'm about to give up, I hear a click.
"Well, hello, Benny."