Never have I hated myself more than I do right now in this moment.
I could die. I'm dehydrated and it's 6am and I didn't put a glass of water beside my bed before going out. There is not a worse feeling in the world than this.
My body doesn't want to move so I do the only thing I can think of and start calling each of my brothers, starting with Santiago. Maybe he'll still be awake.
There's no answer, so I try Ray, then Val. Luckily, Val answers, wide awake on the other line.
"Are you home?"
"Yeah, wassup?"
"Bring me water please."
"I don't wanna get up. I'm watching tv."
"Why the fuck are you watching tv at six in the morning?"
"Dunno. I got home like an hour ago and saw Jace in the living room so we started watching tv."
"Why's Jace here?" I search my mind for what happened last night, but a lot of the night is blurry, and my mind can't recall anything from after the party yet.
"Dunno." He burps into the phone. "I'll bring it for ten bucks."
"No."
"K then." He hangs up and I almost start crying. Pulling the covers off of my hot body, I almost shit myself when I realise i'm naked. Oh sweet baby Jesus. I hope Jace didn't see this. Well, actually I sort of hope he did. He can look but he can't touch. Shit, what if he did touch? No, I'd remember that.
I cover myself up again just before the door opens and the light flashes into my room, making my head hurt. Instead of Val, it's Jace with two bottles of water. I grab them from his hand, drinking one as fast as I can. Jace closes the door and lays down beside me, and I give him a strange look.
"What are you doing?"
"Sleeping."
"But i'm not wearing clothes."
"Even better." He looks at my hands gripping the covers at my chest. "Reminds me of old times – you covering up. You don't do much of that anymore."
"People change."
"Obviously."
"But you're still the same old dickhead."
"Not really. I wouldn't make the choices right now that I did a few years ago."
I bite my lip, tensing up from the past coming up. We don't talk about what happened between us, but Jace is still intoxicated and probably isn't thinking about what he's saying.
"Can you leave?" I turn the other way, ending the conversation and putting a barrier between us. He doesn't answer and I let it go, my mind clouding with thoughts from the past until I finally fall asleep.
When I wake up, Jace is still sleeping so I carefully get out of bed and go to my drawers. Just before I pull a t shirt over my head, he speaks.
"Nice ass."
I glare at him over my shoulder and quickly get dressed, then I fall back on my bed feeling like I just ran a marathon. Hangovers suck.
"It's pretty sad that I have a stiffy from watching that."
"Poor you." For some reason I like the idea of sexually frustrating Jace and not letting him have anything.
"Ugh," he moans, looking under the covers and I laugh. "Why am I even here?"
"You tell me."
"Oh yeah, I helped you get home because i'm a great guy."
I sit up, rolling my eyes. As soon as I'm up straight, I freeze, remembering something from last night. Wesley and I were kissing... oh Jesus.
"What?"
"Nothing." I stand up, grabbing my phone. "Don't you dare masturbate on my bed." Walking out, I go into the bathroom and wash the remaining makeup from my face and brush my teeth. While doing so, I think of last night, trying to remember more. I vaguely remember Ray yelling at Wes. Is that because we were kissing? Why would Ray care?
"Why were you shouting at Wes last night?" I ask as soon as i'm in Ray and Carlos's room.
Ray snaps his eyes open, startled by me storming in. "I- What?"
"You were shouting at Wes."
"Because he was about to swallow you."
Carlos chokes on the water he's drinking and it spills down his bare chest, making him shiver and quickly wipe it with his sheets.
"I meant swallow her as in kissing," Ray says then starts laughing.
"Oh, right. I was about to drown myself in holy water."
Ray looks back me and sits up. "You didn't want to be alone with him so I thought you wouldn't want to be making out with him."
"Yeah, I don't. Thanks."
"Why not if you like him?" Carlos questions.
"I don't like him."
"You do."
"I don't." After remembering him feeling me through my shorts, I cringe so hard it causes me pain and I start fake crying. I get into Ray's bed, pulling the covers off of him and using them to cover my face. "Why did this need to happen?"
Ray pulls the covers over him more. "You woke me up."
"I need emotional support."
"That's what Santiago's for."
"I slept with Jace last night."
Carlos starts choking on his water again, this time spilling it onto the floor.
"We slept in the same bed, I mean." I raise an eyebrow, watching him recover. "You good, bro?"
"You guys need to be more clear on what you're talking about."
"Noted."
+++
There he is.
"Hey!" I catch up to Wesley and Brooke. "Is it really that hard to text or call?"
"Sorry, I was busy."
"That's such a lame excuse."
"Am I missing something?" Brooke looks between us both and Wesley looks down.
"No. Just that I really can't stand guys who do a certain thing and then not text you for days." I spin around, having the dramatic exit that I love. I don't know what I was expecting him to say, and I don't know why it bothers me so much that he blanked me after what happened.
"Did you have to go and make a scene like that in front of Brooke?" Wes grabs my shoulder to stop me from walking any further.
"I don't care if she knows."
"I do."
Ouch. "Why?"
"That kiss was just an accident. No one needs to know and I don't want to ruin our friendship."
"Good. I don't want that either."
"So can you let this go?"
"Fine." I turn around and go into the closest girls bathroom. Leaning against the sinks, I look into the mirror and take deep breaths, reminding myself that i'm awesome and don't need to get upset over a boy. Boys like him are too overrated.
"What was that about?" Brooke asks me in our chemistry class later.
"It doesn't matter."
"Did you sleep with him?"
"Who?" Santiago cuts in nosily from the other side of me.
"Wesley."
I nudge Brooke. "No, I didn't. It was only kissing and I regret it deeply."
"You kissed Wesley?" Jenni says, turning around in her seat in front of us.
I groan, then thankfully our teacher starts the lesson so I don't have to explain anything right now.
"Can I borrow a pen, 'Tiago?" Brooke asks, batting her eyelashes and I narrow my eyes. That right there is the reason I only have one close girl friend.
"Sure," he goes into my sweatshirt pocket and takes out a pen and hands it to her. He has one pen that he uses for every class, but of course Brooke asks him and not me.
I clear my throat, feeling bitchy, so once I have her attention, I turn around to face the cute guy behind me. "Can I borrow a pen?" I also bat my eyelashes, glancing at Brooke who's rolling her eyes.
"Y-yeah," the cutie stutters, giving me the one in his hand. Now I just feel bad.
"Here, have this," I grab the one Santiago's using and give it to him, then take the one from Brooke and give it to Santi.
All three of them give me confused looks and I start laughing. I love being annoying.
"I'm back to needing a pen," Brooke complains.
Santiago throws his pen over to her then smiles at me just to piss me off. Well this was fucking pointless.
As the class goes on, I'm scrolling through facebook posts out of boredom when I get a text from Jace. It makes me so mad at myself how I get a flicker of excitement inside of me from just one message; that's how pathetic I am.
Jace I'm bored. Entertain me.
Me Entertain yourself
Jace I can't do that in public
Me Stop being so inappropriate i'm young
Jace Funny
Jace U make me uncomfortable
Me Likewise bro
Jace When you do things like call me bro.
Me Sad
Jace Annoyance
+++
"Hey, Brian!"
"Hello, Val," Brian says in monotone, obviously not excited to see him. Brian is the owner of Sand 'n' Shakes and since Val and I basically live here, we know him pretty well.
Val jumps into one of the booths and is already screaming Montana's name before i've even sat down. She comes over while tying her hair up and looking exhausted.
"You work too much."
"Drugs are expensive," she smiles. "Kidding."
"Except, that's the thing, you're not," I laugh.
"She's not even been on anything in months," Val narrows his eyes suspiciously. "What's that about?"
She presses her lips together. "Needed a break. What do you guys want?"
"Usual."
"Chocolate cake and chocolate doughnuts please," I smile and Val looks at me weird. "What? I'm treating myself. Stop calling me fat."
"Yeah, stop calling her fat." Montana slaps Val's head.
"I didn't say anything!" His eyes avert to something behind me. "Oh look, there's your boyfriend."
I turn around not so subtly and see Wesley with Max and Tyler. Wesley looks over and we meet eyes, making me blush. I turn away, groaning. Why do they have to be here at the exact time we are?
"Who?" Montana asks, still looking at them.
"Don't make it so obvious!" I yank on her arm and she widens her eyes, looking back at us.
"Wesley and her made out," Val says.
"For real? Is he a good kisser?"
"He uses too much tongue," I say, thinking about what it was like for the first time since it happened.
"Ew, gross. Is he one of those people that go straight in with tongue? I hate guys who do that. Like do they have any sense?"
"I think guys only have one sense and it comes from their dick."
"They're coming over," Val says.
"Do not say anything about this," I warn them.
Montana raises her arms in surrender and starts walking away behind the counter.
"What a surprise to see you two here," Max says sarcastically. We were done with the jokes about how much we are here eating unhealthy shit a long time ago. Let's move on.
Tyler slides into the booth beside me and slings his arm around my shoulder. "Want to come go-carting with us on saturday?"
"Um, obviously." I freaking love go-carting. Who doesn't? I love anything close to driving, actually, which is ironic considering I can't drive to save my life. I prefer go-carting where it's okay to do unintentional reckless driving and it's not illegal.
"Not gonna ask me, Ty?" Val teases. "Oh wait, you only want Yasmin there 'cause you're hardcore crushing on her."
"Shut the fuck up. If I liked her in that way we'd have fucked by now."
Um?
"Dumbass," Wesley mutters.
"That's my cue to leave," Max says and tries to pull Wesley with him but he holds his hand up to stop him.
"Let's go, Ty."
"I'll catch you guys later."
"You'll catch us now," he scoffs. "Stop drooling over a girl that's way out of your league."
"Jealous much?" Val comments and I kick his leg under the table to which he makes a big deal out of, screaming 'Yasmin why'd you kick me?!'
"And what, she's in your league?" Tyler questions.
"Shut the fuck up," I roll my eyes and push Tyler. "Go away with them. You'll just eat my cake anyway."
"I'd love to eat your cake," he winks. Wesley walks away and Max follows with his hands over his ears.
"Bye, Tyler," I say with a straight face. He sighs and finally gets up and leaves.
+++