Chapter 39, Rony
"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about all the stupid little things." 5 Seconds of Summer, Amnesia
Theo
"You're not ugly."
"Yes I am, all the other kids say so."
"Then they're wrong."
"Thanks, Oliver."
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"How did we get to this point?"
"I don't know. How did we?"
"I guess life just both fucked us over right?"
"Heh, yeah, I fucking guess so."
"Do you believe in fate Oliver?"
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I stood at his door, in the cold breezes of fall. The trees were beginning to turn orange, yellow, brown; they were dying. I look down at my phone and glanced at the exchanged messages between me and him.
Tree: ...I need you...
Me: Why?...
Tree: Please...
I knocked lightly on the door, and it swung open instantly. I was attacked with a hug, and for once I didn't fight back. I let his arms wrapped around my waist, as I moved my arms and wrapped them around his neck. I let my eyes wonder inside, beyond the front door, and saw his mom and dad together looking sad. I looked at them, and they nodded at me. I had met his family once before, but they seemed more lively at that time, now it's like their happiness was dying. I slowly closed the front door, and led him to my car.
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I parked the car and walked over to him. I hugged him, and then let go. He grabbed my hand and we started walking towards the empty docks. We sat down on the wood, and let our legs dangle from the wooden floorboards; our hands still attached to each other. I let my eyes fall on his face, and my mouth was left parted. My left hand cupped his face as I brought it up and looked at his face. On the left corner of his forehead was a large scratch-like cut, on his lip, was a cut, and his right cheek was bruised. I caressed my thumb on his cheek and gave him a small peck on his cheek. He let his head burrow into my shoulder and he cried.
"It's not your fault. I hope you know that."
"I just don't know what to feel. I don't know what I did."
I played with his hair as his head laid on my shoulder. We stared at the ocean in the dark of night.
"You didn't do anything. It's because he feels different."
"I thought different was suppose to be good. I remember you telling me that being different was good."
"It is, cause it means that we're not all alike. Some people think that different's bad."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because society makes them feel that way. So he lashed out at everyone around him. He doesn't know any better. He's your younger brother, so, you should still love him. Even if he did beat you up." I say comforting him.
"I didn't want to hurt him. But I still did."
"Rony doesn't know that it's okay to be, to feel different. I've only met your parents and your other three brothers. I think this time I need to meet Rony."
"You think you can change him?"
"No Ollie, I think that I should just talk to him. Just talk."
I felt his cheeks rise up a little. "Heh, you haven't called me that since what? The end of sixth-grade year?"
"Yeah. I haven't. How about I talk to him when he returns home, yeah?"
"I'm not even gonna fight you about it. No matter what I say, you're still gonna do it anyways."
"I acknowledge that I'm stubborn. You don't have to imply it," I say with a smile.
"Just reminding you," he said, with the smallest of smiles. "I'm sorry for being an asshole by the way."
"And I'm sorry for being a class-A plus bitch." I apologize.
"You know, we only have like what, three days till summer?" Oliver mentioned.
"Yeah, and then senior year."
"You going back to Austrailia this summer?"
"I'm not 18 yet, so legally yes."
"Do you want to?"
I paused, "Yeah. I want to see my mom happy with her fiance."
"I bet you were probably a party girl back there," Oliver laughed lightly.
"Never," I say laughing with a tight smile. "I mean, I was forced to go to some bonfire beach parties, but that was it."
"You know, you never talk about your life over there. What's it like?"
"Much more different than it is here. I have a few friends over there, an enemy, love and hate them both."
"Tell me about them, I wanna talk about something other than Rony for awhile."
"Well, there's Lynn. She's...a bit of a loquacious person."
"So talkative, don't need to be so fancy," he laughed.
"Yeah she's talkative," I laughed. "Then there's Halley, who is a full out fangirl about tv shows and books. She's also very comfortable with talking about the most uncomfortable topics. It's nice. Lynn is also bisexual, so that's cool."
"So two friends so far, I'm imagining there's a guy in that group somewhere?"
"Correct, his name is Garrick, but most people call him Rick."
"No offense, but his name sounds like he's an ass, I mean Rick?"
"He's actually gay and very friendly. Besides, there is also Jason who is a complete dork dino. I've been trying to set him up with Halley, so far, unsuccessful."
"Okay so four people, what are you popular?" Oliver asked jokingly.
"Totally," I replied sarcastically. "Lastly, there's Sandy, well there's also Landon, but you know. Anyway's she's very outgoing, straightforward, and hilarious without meaning to be. And then there's my enemy."
"Oh, how menacing he must be," Oliver joked.
"You don't even know. His name is Blake Anderson, and I hate him with all my guts."
"Wait, Anderson? The guy who owns the multibillion-dollar business company?"
"Technically his son, but-"
"Same difference or whatever. You're telling me you hate a guy who's extremely rich and has been in more than a dozen magazines all around the world?"
"Yes, he's a pompous ass, who's self-entitled and is a player."
"Didn't you use to say I was a player?" Oliver asked sitting up straight looking at me now.
"Yes, but you've changed."
"Can't he still change?"
"Have I ever told you about my dad?" I asked looking at the dark sky.
"Now that you mention it, no. What about him?"
"My dad is a very...formal man. Because my parents had differences and never actually got married, they had a difficult choice as to what last name to give me. It ended with my last name being my mom's, Winston. So, my name is Theodoria Wrin Winston, but only to the outside world."
"Outside world?" Oliver asked confused. "Also your middle name is Wrin? Really?"
"Yes Wrin, my mom chose it. Anyways, people knew me as Theodoria Winston. But to everyone in the business world, not including paparazzi, everyone knew me as Theodoria Crimsold. Crimsold, daughter of Derrick Crimsold, owner, and creator of Crimsold Corporations and soon to be world's largest magazine company CROWD."
"Your dad is Derrick Crimsold...everything seems so surreal now."
"Welcome to Theo's life, a life that seems so surreal. As my friend Halley would say, he's only the man who helped create me by donating his sperm to my existence."
"Halley's probably right, but what does that have to do with Blake?"
"He...he's a complicated story. He had these off and on things going on and it affected our friendship. We're rivals though, so we can't really be buddy buddy. Moving on..." I breathed.
"You still feel weird about your mom's fiancé?" Oliver asked.
"Yeah...I'm just feeling incredulous about it."
"What did you he to you to make you hate him so much?" Oliver asked.
"I- shouldn't be reliving these memories, Oliver," I say not wanting to explain myself to him.
"Memories are what make us human."
"Lots of things make us human Ollie," I rebutted.
"Sometimes memories can help us get over what we need to get over," he countered.
"He- he was never an honest man. He was fake. He took too much pride in everything he did, he was like an unsuccessful version of my father, but worse. H-he was mean and rude in a sense that would give children nightmares." With each word I spoke the louder and faster I spoke. "I- he took advantage of my mom of me. Not in a sexual way, but in an abusive way. He w-would come home and be so u-upset about everything and I- I wouldn't, I- I didn't know!" I was on the verge of crying.
"Oh my God, Theo," Oliver muttered in disbelief. He wrapped his arms around me, as I remembered.
"I didn't know!" I cried on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him as I closed my eyes.
"Shh, it's okay. You're fine, you'll be fine," Ollie comforted.
Vivid depictions flashed in my head and my mind went into overload. Springing these sickened and contorted memories in my mind, overwhelming my very core. "I'm sorry," I murmured on his shoulder as I stayed hugging him.The more I thought about it, the more my breathing rose. I stopped crying, but my heart started beating faster in fear. The more I remembered, the more I lived. My head became heavy, and it was like I was going to faint.
"Theo?" Oliver's voice echoed in my mind, but I could hear the concern in his voice. "Theo, you okay?" I shook my head, making myself even dizzier. I detached myself from Oliver and grabbed his hand as I leaned myself against his shoulder. I held his hand palm up and spelled 'P' and 'A' on his palm with my finger.
"P 'A'? 'P' 'A', 'P' 'A'," He started murmuring the letters as I started breathing harder, trying not to close my eyes. "Panic attack!" He realized. I could feel his head look down at me, not knowing what to do, as my breathing became louder. As my eyes were about to close, I felt my breathing stop. This feeling was familiar and wasn't foreign to me at all. It was nice, more than nice. I enjoyed it for some strange reason though. He was supposed to be my best friend, nothing more, but here you are Oliver; kissing me.