We live by the sun,
We feel by the Moon.
***
Awful.
Horrible.
I would title the painting 'burst lung' and show splatters of red, dripping along the canvas.
Or maybe just title it a simple 'death' and create the small colorful blurs I'm seeing in my vision right now.
Because that's how I feel.
"I....can't....go....on....." I'm barely able to gasp out the sentence.
My side hurts.
I didn't know what they meant when they said, 'stitch in my side'. Now I do.
"Come on Lexie," Jay is very patient. But even his patience is running thin with me.
I pushed it just by the fact that he had to tell me three times to get the wheels out of my shoes before I could even start running.
He was appalled at even the sight of them.
"This is just an excuse to walk less," I look at him, not able to argue because it was true. The sad shake in his head said it all.
Now I stood before him, legs trembling and eyes watery with tears. My head felt very fuzzy.
"Lexie why don-,"
Before he can say a word I'm throwing up.
There's not much to throw up so it burns my throat as my body rejects the food.
I hear Jay sigh.
Then I hear another voice.
"Why don't you come in and call it done for today?"
Daisy. Atlas's mom.
"Daisy, we've only been out here for an hour."
"Jay, the girl is barely able to stand. Come inside."
There is a commanding tone in the voice that has me looking up at the woman.
Her blue eyes are flashing to Jay. A silent fight is occurring between them. In the end, Jay sighs and walks away, "Come on Lexie. Why don't you cool off inside?" His voice sounds defeated. I almost want to smile at how easily this male gave into his female.
Daisy softy walks up to me, taking my arm and leading me up the steps.
"Sorry about that. They just don't know when to stop sometimes."
I nod, not able to talk at the moment with the burning sensation still in my throat.
Going inside I almost gasp at how clean it is.
It looks like there is not a speck of dust.
Everything is meticulously cleaned.
I've never seen a house like it.
Daisy leads me more inside, before placing me at a table.
She leaves and returns with a tall glass of water.
I eagerly drink it, gulping it down in giant sips, but the glass is taken away from me.
Jay glares down at me, "You'll get cramps."
I gasp, reaching for the water but he pulls it back, still glaring.
"Honestly, what did your pack teach you."
"Jay," Daisy's voice is soft yet firm as she takes the glass from him and sets it back in front of me.
"Slowly Lexie. Take small slow sips."
I nod, trying hard to follow what she says.
She smiles and sits down across from me, Jay sitting to her right.
He quickly grabs her hand, kissing the palm before folding it in his own.
I look at the laced fingers.
"I've been wanting to ask Lexie, but what is that on your hands?"
Jay's question has me looking down at my own hands.
"It's...paint."
"Your pack allowed that?"
I hear more disapproval in his voice. Like father like son.
"Yes..." In a way they did.
"How wonderful," I look up to see Daisy's eager eyes. "I've only met painters in some small remote packs. I would love to see your work."
I'm stunned as I look at this female. "You...you would?"
Daisy nods, her eyes full of wonder, "I've always wanted to paint. Maybe you can teach me?"
I've never taught anyone. No one's ever wanted to learn.
I don't even know the first step in what to teach. But it sounds fun. To share what I love with someone.
"Ya..." I feel a small smile form on my lips. Jay's glare though stops it from completely showing.
"Daisy, we've talked about this."
Daisy's face falls just slightly at his words.
"What?"
I don't want to intrude on their talk, but I'm curious.
Daisy sighs, "The reason why Atlas didn't stay today is because....he doesn't like me."
I angle my head to the side, thoughtful. I didn't like my father much. But I couldn't see what was so wrong with Daisy.
"Why?"
A sad smile forms on Daisy's features, "I was...moon blessed, once upon a time. I'm not now, but when I was I traveled everywhere, choosing to go there instead of stay with my child and mate. I was absent Atlas's whole life. And that is my fault."
The weight of her words hit me as if a cave had collapsed upon me.
Abandoned. She abandoned her child.
"Oh...," I don't know what to say. Don't know what to feel now that I have this pressing news upon me.
We sit there in awkward silence for several minutes.
"Is Atlas....good to you?"
She's curious.
But suddenly I'm weary of this female.
I shrug. "I've only known him for a day."
Daisy nods but I can see her eyes retreating back into herself. See as she registers that I'm no longer active within the conversation.
That I'm pulling away after what she's said.
She gives me a knowing smile.
It's probably why they live out here.
Away from the pack. Away from their eyes.
And away from their son.
Jay stands.
"Let's continue training."
I stand also.
I suddenly want to be away from this female and the burden she bears.
Away from the hurt she has inflicted upon my mate.
I wish desperately I could paint the face she was making as we walk out.
I would title it 'broken moon.'