Chapter 30 - Tattoos
I had forced myself to stop crying not long after Slate had wrapped me in the blanket. I'd learned from a young age that crying was something you did in private because it was a sign of weakness and god forbid anyone saw a Woods look weak.
I wiped at my wet cheeks and pushed at Slate's chest softly to say I was ready to go back to his place. He stood up first then reached his hand out to help me up. He pulled me up with a little too much force so that my body landed against his and I only realized he'd done it on purpose when his arms wrapped around the back of my neck, hugging me to his muscular chest.
"You're so fùcking strong." I started shaking my head to argue but he stopped me immediately, "You are. People hurt you and instead of responding with anger you walk away. That takes so much strength." He let out a harsh exhale of breath before speaking again. "And you make me soft. Before I met you I couldn't control my anger and now I can stand here and watch you cry and I'm still blinded by rage at whoever hurt you but when I hold you my vision goes a little less red." He murmured, his words coming out strained as if they were too heavy to form with his lips. I looked up at him in the dim light with so much admiration I could hardly breathe.
"This." He whispered grabbing my bruised hand and placing a soft kiss on my knuckles "This is not you. Stop helping them hurt you." My eyes were watering again but I blinked them back wanting to look at the man who had so drastically changed my life in only a few months. He wiped the last of the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs then placed a soft kiss on my lips before taking my hand and leading me away from the park.
"Let's go home."
~~~~~~~~~~~
When we walked into Slate's apartment it was just nearing 3 am. Christian, Alec and AJ were all sitting on the large couch watching Bob's Burgers on the new tv Slate had been forced to buy after Christian and I's little mishap with the other one.
The guys all turned to us when we walked in and gave me smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes and I had a feeling they knew something was wrong. I was sure I looked a mess, not to mention I knew they'd been with Slate when I'd called him to come get me.
Slate sat down in the last empty spot on the three-person couch and softly took my hand in his, pulling me down onto his lap. AJ handed me an already lit joint and I accepted it gratefully. I took a pull, inhaling deeply, knowing it would be my only chance at getting some sleep tonight. Christian came back into the living room before I'd even noticed he was gone, with a hot cup of milk and honey for me and Alec wrapped a new blanket around me.
I almost cried right then. My heart ached at how amazing they all were and it ached more knowing I didn't deserve it. They were too damn good, all of them, too good for someone who had been born for bad.
I took back the joint wanting to ease my mind, to forget the truth for a little while. Slate's hand was drawing patterns on my leg, his other arm wrapped tightly around my waist, a constant reminder he was still here despite my worries.
I wasn't in the mood to talk but listening to the light and funny conversation the guys were having helped a sort of calm settle over me and I decided to get comfier, resting my head in Slate's lap and tossing my legs across Alec and AJ. Slate's hand combed through my hair, massaging my scalp and for a couple seconds, I felt at peace.
Like maybe not having parents didn't matter so much if I had all of these guys to look out for me. But then I was reminded of West's promise earlier tonight and it suddenly felt like there was a timer on and it was getting uncomfortably close to going off. So when my eyes drifted closed not long after, the sleep that followed was anything but peaceful.
However, unknown to me, the conversation between the guys continued as I slept, although it wasn't as light as it had been before.
"How is she?" Christian asked once he was sure I was asleep, his question directed at Slate.
Slate's shook his head, running a hand over his face. "There's something going on that she won't tell me about and it's fùcking with her."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days had gone by since that horribly long and draining Thursday night. It was now Saturday evening and I was sitting in my hotel room catching up on homework after having spent the last two days with Jace. We'd been making up for lost time and it was fair to say the last two days had been some of the best of my life. I'd missed Jace more than anything, and just having him back in my life was worth every last threat West and whoever gives him the orders, had sent my way.
He'd gone out to the bar with some friends tonight but I'd decided to pass and just stay in. I was starting to realize that there seemed to be a strong correlation between bars and shit going horribly wrong in my life so I thought I might just avoid them for a little while.
I had my earphones in, music blasting as I did the homework and assignments I'd been neglecting because of all the recent distractions in my life. It was a good thing I'd done extra schooling all throughout the summer because I was already beginning to fall behind and I needed to get it under control before I lost my Harvard acceptance.
My phone started ringing, annoyingly interrupting my music, but when I saw Slate's name on the screen my annoyance faded quickly and I grabbed my phone accepting the call.
"Can you open the door already? My hands hurting." There was a playful edge to his words and my smile grew as I jumped off the bed and rushed towards the door. I swung the door open trying to act casual.
"Hi." I said giving him a sheepish smile. He laughed as he stepped into my room and placed his hands on my waist, pulling my body flush against his.
"Come on, we're going on a road trip." He said, his eyes alive, burning with an intensity I couldn't quite read but when they landed on me I was a match and he was the striker.
"Just you and me?"
He nodded his head slowly at my question, licking his lips and now his hands on my waist were burning me too.
"Okay."
His face split into a grin that screamed trouble and my heart pounded hard and slow against my ribs as those fiery eyes trailed over me.
He was intoxicating; he surrounded me like a cloud but it felt like a shield, not a cage.
I grabbed a knapsack and quickly threw some clothes and essentials in it for the night. The next thing I knew, Slate and I were on the road and I was texting Jace telling him I wouldn't be home tonight. It was bittersweet calling a hotel "home".
"How was your weekend?" Slate asked me, breaking the silence when we got onto the highway that would take us far away from the noisy city.
I smiled lightly, it was a simple question but it surprised me, I didn't think Slate was one for small talk.
As if reading my reaction he responded. "I hate small talk because I'd rather not waste my time talking about unimportant shit. That doesn't apply to you."
I knew he was trying to get me talk about myself more, to get me to see that there are people who care about what I have to say. That he was one of them. But there were years worth of neglect weighing down on my vocal cords.
I didn't answer his question but I felt my tongue get a little lighter at his words.
"Where are we going?" I asked instead. He didn't sigh at my lack of response and it was encouraging. Like there was no rush to get me to talk because he was gonna be around for a while.
"I want you to meet my brothers. My oldest one has a house on the ocean a couple hours from here."
"Are they cute?" I teased, but Slate just smiled cheekily at my response, relaxing back into his seat and placing his hand on my thigh as if he could finally relax now that he'd told me where we were going and I hadn't reacted badly.
"Not as cute as me." He replied, but as I stared at his dark and chiseled profile, letting my eyes wander down his muscular arm to the strong hand that was gripping my thigh, my mind went to a dark, dark place and at the moment "cute" seemed way too innocent of a word to describe a man who was making me think the things I was.
After about an hour of failing to ignore his goddamn hand that was drawing patterns on my thigh, tensions were thick. It didn't help that he had a beautiful gold Versace ring on his middle finger because it brought my attention to a dangerous place. And he fuckin' knew it too.
"It's getting late and we're still a good two hours out. What do you say we stop at a hotel for the night?"
We both agreed that it was a good idea. We were driving on a long and windy country road when a large sign that read 'bed and breakfast' caught my attention.
Slate pulled into the parking lot and a large wooden cabin style hotel looking out on beautiful mountain views stood before us. The phone signal was shitty but I don't think either of us cared all that much.
The lobby had a cozy feel with high ceilings and a large stone fireplace. It was almost Christmas and although our winters aren't too harsh, it helped give the place a homey feel.
Slate rented us a room and insisted on paying extra for one with a nice view of the mountains. I didn't argue, I'd learned that the easiest way to deal with him was just to slip money into his wallet when he wasn't looking.
We were both getting tired and there wasn't anything to do in the remote area anyways so we decided just to call it a day and go up to our room.
The room was prettier than any of the luxurious suites I'd stayed in throughout my life. It was smaller and the furniture was simple but it was cozy and despite it being too dark to get the full effect of the mountain view we had out of our window, it still managed to take my breath away.
"Told you it would be worth the extra fifty bucks." Slate said from behind me as he too admired the view.
My heart was burning with an energy that could only be identified as one thing. I turned my head looking back at Slate over my shoulder.
"I'm really happy right now."
He walked closer to me, his blue eyes bright in the dim lighting.
"Good. You deserve to be." I nodded my head in agreement. It was all I could do. I didn't want to think about any of it now, but that I could agree with. I hadn't done anything to deserve the opposite.
"I think I have to stop letting them affect my happiness." The words seemed to spill out of my mouth with no hesitation and to my surprise, I didn't regret them when they did.
"Who?" He asked, urging me to continue talking but not forcing me.
"My mom, my dad. Jackson, Cherry...I don't know, everyone I guess. I'm too sensitive."
I could see him coming closer to me in the reflection of the window and I turned to face him once he came to a stop right behind me.
"Don't say that like it's a bad thing." I shook my head, sick of talking about myself all the time.
"What about you?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck so that he had to bring his head closer to mine because of our height difference.
"What about me?" He whispered back, his tone too sensual for my own good.
I pulled one arm away from his neck and let my finger trail over the collar of his jacket, lightly tugging it off his shoulder. He followed my lead, pulling it off his arms before grabbing my waist again, only this time his hands were lower. I could feel his fingers digging into my ass and I instinctively dug my nails into his back, biting my lip to keep control.
I'd had a goal... I let my eyes flicker up to his from under my lashes and saw his teasing smirk — he was trying to distract me from asking about him.
I trailed my thumb down his large bicep, feeling it flex under my finger instinctively. I smirked to myself as his fingers dug into me harder, now who was distracting?
My thumb trailed lightly over the outline of his black and white tiger tattoo.
"You like tigers?" I teased, looking up at him as I remembered the many times he'd called me 'tiger'.
The corner of his mouth tipped upwards showing his amusement.
Up until now, I'd been kidding but as I scanned the professional art that wrapped around his right arm I remembered the tattoo that'd caught my attention all those months ago at the club. I interlocked my fingers with his and flipped his left arm so that his palm was facing up. A familiar set of Roman numerals laid across the side of his forearm vertically. It was beautifully done but the font was dark and harsh.
For a second it reminded me of barbed wire, the way it looked as if it was almost cutting into his arm instead of just resting on it. I let my thumb trail over it, keeping my left hand interlocked with his. I half expected it to slice my finger but it was smooth the way his skin always was and just like that the illusion was gone and the tattoo looked normal again.
He spoke before I even had the chance to ask, and I was once again left in awe by his willing transparency. There was something to be said for the people who wore their struggles and mistakes on their sleeves—quite literally for Slate—as I would soon find out. I hoped one day I'd be less ashamed of mine so I could do the same.
"It's the day I caught my mom cheating on my dad."
"What?" I whispered out, my voice breaking a bit near the end of the word. He nodded his head harshly as he looked out the window over my head.
"I was six years old, I used to get in fights at school a lot so they sent me home early this one day. Walked into the house to find my mom fücking some random guy. I understood it too, I had three older brothers so I knew what the fuck was going on. But like a fücking coward, I left the house before they noticed me and I never told a goddamn soul." He spat the last part out like it disgusted him. Like he disgusted himself.
"You were six." I argued, grabbing his face so he would look at me.
"Yeah and I'm 19 now and I'm still a coward." He said as his eyes forcefully met mine, burning with the determination to convince me that he was a shitty person.
How could he possibly think I'd ever see him as a shitty person when I'd just found out he'd been trying to chase away my demons even though he had enough of his own to worry about?
"So you got the date tattooed on your arm to punish yourself." My eyes unconsciously started to water at the thought of it, he was torturing himself every day with it and he would continue to do so for the rest of his life because it was permanent.
The worst part was that I knew it was only one of the many demons that haunted him.
"Don't cry for me." He said softly as his lips brushed against mine, his hands slipping into my hair. I blinked back the moisture in my eyes and noticed the goosebumps that had formed on his bare arms.
I initiated the kiss first, getting onto my tiptoes and slamming my lips into his. My arms wrapped around his neck tightly as he grabbed my hips and lifted me so that I was straddling him. His tongue slid into my mouth slowly and sensually rubbing against my own, before it disappeared leaving me begging for more. I steered him towards the bathroom and he briefly gave me a confused look.
"You're cold." I mumbled as I quickly turned on the shower before going back to him. I played with the waistband of his grey joggers and he groaned so deeply, my eyes almost rolled back into my head.
He had my shirt off my body within a couple seconds and after a couple more we were both completely undressed and I was stepping into the steamy shower, pulling him in with me.
A/N
Terribly sorry for the long wait but enjoy xx
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-SlytherinAfff