"We better be getting back," I mumbled against his lips after I managed to pull away from him. Sure, kissing Harry was one of the best feelings I have ever felt but it was getting rather cold out. I didn't want one of us to get ill and have to miss out on this weekends' set of matches, more so Harry than I. I didn't even know if I was going.
"Unless, you actually plan on practising. Then we could probably stay a little while longer." I managed to get out as Harry tugged at my bottom lip gently with his teeth before kissing me back on my mouth again. Of course, I kissed him back because I just couldn't win with Harry's lips teasing at my own.
"But I am practising." He teased against my mouth, then trailing his lips lightly to the corner of my mouth while his hands began to move to my back, slowly going up the hem of my shirt. His hands were cold against my stomach, causing my muscles to squirm in shock from the sensitive feeling.
I let out a groan and closed my eyes, tilting my head slightly away from Harry. This boy was getting more and more sly by each day. I don't know what happened to the boy I didn't know, the one who kept to himself about everything but I think once he started opening up to me that he just couldn't stop himself anymore. We've only been boyfriends for a few days now but I feel like the amount of knowledge and comfort we seem to have for one another that it feels like so much longer.
"Harry," I breathed out, my reflexes from his touches causing me to back away from the source of uncertainty. I came back to him after the lurching feeling inside me subsided. I made sure to hold his hands in mine so they couldn't do anymore traveling of my body.
"Don't lose focus on something that is so important to you and you've worked for because of me, yeah?" I told him as I stared into his eyes to let him know just how serious I was. I didn't want to be that thing that made Harry forget about everything else in his life. I didn't want us to get too lost in the world that we created for no one else to exist.
He shook his head, looking down but still keeping his hold on my hands. I took that as a good sign though I was still feeling like maybe what I said was something that he definitely didn't want to hear. Then he lifted his head, his lips forming in a straight line as he looked back to me, swinging our joined hands slowly. "I'm not losing focus, Niall." His lips then formed into a half-smile, preparing me for whatever next sly joke he was going to tell me. I knew that look on his face. "Besides, I'll have to ignore the feeling of wanting to touch you and kiss you for the rest of the week." He dropped one of his hand to fix my hair, his fingers lingering with each small stroke.
I blinked my eyes so that they wouldn't drift to watch what Harry was doing. Instead I focused o his face as he concentrated on my hair.
It was the truth. We wouldn't have any time together like this for awhile now so maybe he was just trying to make the most of it. I was flattered but Harry used to be so determined to get back and I felt like he was starting to lose that feeling. I thought what I was trying to get through to him would be helpful and make him see that I wasn't the sole center of his universe.
He'd soon go back to being the player and I'd go back to being the water boy. We both shared this secret that we were more than just those two boys. He'd have to put his mind fully into the sport and I'd have to do the same. I'm sure there would be those moments were we steal glances at one another and we'll miss each other, but it's just the way life has to be for us.
"I think I can manage it. I have before." I told him with a nod. "Are you still going to be my drive home?" I already knew that he would be.
"Course, I will." His thumb caressed the back of my hand, his touch still able to be tantalising to me, even in the cold chill the aftermath of his touch was still stronger against my hand. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Mm-hmm,"
I turned to look from the top of the bleachers one last time, my eyes glancing down as I caught someone making their way back towards the school. I couldn't help but to squint to see if I could figure out who it was. With my hand that Harry was no longer holding I pointed down to the person and spoke aloud, "Hey, I think that's Liam. I'm sure we could catch up and walk back with him."
Harry turned and peered down to where I was pointing and then he rocked back on his heels. 'Yeah, let's go. I guess." He twisted me around so that I could walk in front of his down the stairs.
Once we got back to the field, I offered Harry the ball to juggle back to the school. I had to drop his hand as we got closer to Liam. He was walking by himself, which I didn't think he would do since the team had missed him. His head was down and looking towards the ground and I couldn't help but to wonder if he was okay.
I took a glance over to Harry, who was busy rolling the ball back and forth, switching his feet with each kick. He tried not to kick it too far ahead of himself but the short passes were becoming too routine for him. I could tell because he just seemed bored.
"I'm sure you could kick it all the way to Liam." I mentioned after staying silent for awhile. It felt weird that we went from kissing to not talking to each other at all. Plus, Harry hadn't spoken to Liam much, that I was aware of.
Harry shook his head, stopping the ball by stepping his foot onto the top of it. I stopped, too, noticing when I couldn't see Harry walking beside me out of the corner of my eye. "I don't think hitting Liam with a ball is the best choice."
"Then I'll do it." I shrugged my shoulders and took the ball away from Harry. I cupped my hands around my mouth so I could project my voice, shouting over to my friend. "Liam!"
As Liam stopped and turned I brought my foot back to drive the ball hard over to him. I didn't really think about anything that Harry has told me prior about the proper way. All I cared about was how far it would go. If it curved, then I would only be a bit embarrassed since two of the team's players had to witness it.
Liam stuck his arm in the air and waved to the two of us before he moved in the direction towards the ball. It hit the ground and then rolled almost the entire way to him.
"Good kick, babe." Harry said as he gently elbowed me.
"Thanks." I smiled at him, wanting to take his hand as we walked over to Liam together. I think Harry knew that I wanted to because he looked to me, his expression letting me know that it was going to be okay.
Liam was now twirling the ball between his fingertips when we met up with him. "Thought you two would be back up already." He commented.
"Yeah," I nodded as I tried thinking of a cover to tell Liam. I didn't want it to sound too far-fetched. "Harry wanted to get a few extra kicks in the goal since it was the last time he;d be by himself. He's done quite well. I think he's more than ready." I explained over to Liam with a smile, my hand patting Harry's shoulder. It remained there and gave a reassuring squeeze when Harry looked over to me to make what I said more believable.
"What about you, Payne?" Harry swallowed after bringing his attention back to Liam, not letting it linger on me too long.
"I stayed out just to get my head back on straight. The guys did a lot on their game in the week I was gone." He chuckled and shook his head. "I sure hope you'll be able to figure them out a little better than have when you come back to us. Coach told us before warm-ups that you'll be back to the bench."
Harry nodded. "That's true. I talked to him this morning about it. I wanted to get back to actually practising with you but I want to see how things have been without me so far."
I hoped that wouldn't make him doubt himself if they actually played better without him. He'd have me their to let him know that it's not true. They weren't a full team without Harry.
"We're happy to get you back." Liam smiled at him and wrapped his arm around Harry as we got closer to the door of the athletic entrance of the school.
"Speaking of being back," I interjected, "how'd the rest of your day turn out?" I held the door open for the two of them, following behind so I could hear Liam's answer.
"Apparently, more people liked me then I realised." He joked, his arm dropping from Harry's shoulders. "No, but really, it was fine. People obviously wanted to know if I gave Louis a good enough hit to cause some damage." He paused. "Would it be weird if I did want to? I mean, I fought him off to keep him from Niall. I didn't punch him just to see if I could bruise him." He bit his cheek and studied the both of us hard.
I could tell that Liam was struggling with what had happened. I guess he wasn't one to want to use violence on another person, unless he felt it was necessary. I believed that Louis was one of those cases because how else would he get a wake up call? Telling him off with words only made him worse. Maybe Liam was able to get through to him, but I heavily doubted that Louis Tomlinson was close to changing.
"Hey, Louis had it coming, remember?" Harry reminded Liam with a look. "You can't let what you did to him bother you, Liam. It's done. Him and Zayn are gone and they won't bully Niall or anyone else."
He let out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess so. I'll get over it in time." We were now in the gymnasium, walking towards the change room door.
"Liam, why don't you hang around with us? Niall is coming to mine. You can join us?"
I was?
Probably because Harry would finish his snog job on your face.
Then why would he invite Liam?
"Yeah," I found myself nodding. "Spend time with your friends and forget about Louis. Trust me, it'll work." I couldn't help but chuckle in case Liam didn't believe me that I was starting to forget.
"You sure? I don't want to impose on anything." he spoke carefully, motioning between the two of us with his hand.
"No, it's fine. You're not imposing on anything." I told him. "We'd be happy to spend more time with you. I know that I've missed it." I scratched the back of my neck.
"Okay." I could sense some relief wash over Liam as he nodded to us. "Um, I obviously have to change and then cancel my ride home. Thanks you, guys." Liam left to go to the change room.
"Inviting Liam over over, huh?" I asked Harry with some teasing interest. "What brought this on all of the sudden?"
Harry gave me a look. "He's your friend and mine. Well, not as much. I just thought it would be good if he stopped bringing up how him tackling Louis saved you. For someone who doesn't want to talk about it, he sure doesn't keep his mouth shut." He let out a sigh.
I've never heard someone talk about Liam like that before. I never found him to be annoying like Harry seemed to. These two were friends so I don't really understand how Harry went from grateful to irritated over it.
I didn't ask Harry if he was jealous of Liam because I really didn't want him to be. There was no reason for it to ever be true.
We both went back into the change room, Harry go back over to change and I went to fetch the linen cart to store the washing in the laundry room. I would do it tomorrow morning since there has been a new change of plans. I didn't need them both waiting for me to finish up with all of the laundry and I'm sure Harry's mood to lock me up in there had died off since Liam was now around us.
He wouldn't have been if Harry didn't tell him to come along
I wasn't upset with Liam. Yeah, I was a bit with Harry now but that didn't mean that I wanted to erase the fact that Liam was in my life too. He was one of the first friends that I could connect with on such a level and we had more in common than I could ever ask for in a person, besides my boyfriend. I wanted to be able to hang out with the both of them at the same time.
After the three of us went on our separate ways, we got together again. Harry looked a bit more at ease and I think he just needed a moment to clear his head and tell himself that he couldn't think of me as his boyfriend right now. Sure, we couldn't keep it a secret forever and I don't think I could keep this from Liam .
Liam, on the other hand, didn't resemble himself at all. I could tell that he was frustrated about something and that confused me because as much as I knew nothing was the matter with him.
"Is everything okay with you, Liam?" I asked.
He rubbed at his brow before shaking his head. "Yeah. It's just my mum. She doesn't want me out late because I have quite the work load."
"Well, if you have to, why don't you just get home?" Harry cut in and I sent him a look, wanting to swat him in the chest for sounding a but rude. He was trying to hide it but I could see past it clearly. There was no reason to be antsy with Liam. he looked back to me like he was innocent and I just shook my own head.
"Nah, I'll be fine. I don't want to call her back and tell her that I changed my mind again. I'll just still around." He put up two fingers to us. "Two hours tops. Sounds like you're trying to rid of me." He joked once Harry motioned for all of us to head to his car.
He is.
"Alright, get in the back, Payne." Harry sent him a friendly smile before opening my door for me, letting his hand rub at my lower back when Liam was too busy getting his safety belt on.
I got in and looked back to Liam who seemed not bothered now that he was on his phone, typing away and crossing his arms over his broad chest once he was done. He looked to me and smiled. I smiled back before turning around once Harry got in the car with us.
___________________
I tried to make the short trip over to Harry's as comfortable as I possibly could. I never thought the three of us would seem like we were just some strangers thrown into a car together. Harry would give short answers as he narrowed his eyes to focus on where he was going. Liam would chat with me some when I asked him questions but other than that he paid more attention to his phone and out the window. I gave up and couldn't wait to get out of the car.
Harry unlocked the door for us and we followed him into the house. I don't think Liam has. That sure felt like a lifetime ago for me yet it wasn't even close to that. I wondered if Liam was thinking about that day anymore. He didn't need to. Anyway, Harry had gone off to the kitchen to grab us some snacks and drinks. Maybe he thought we could stuff our faces with food so we had a real reason not to communicate with each other.
I sat on the couch that I was once thrown down on by Zayn and then cuddled up by Harry. Liam sat down next to me, sighing as he stuffed his phone into his pocket. I couldn't help but look over to Liam when he did that. He muttered something to himself that I couldn't quite catch. I went back to looking down at the floor.
"So, um, you and Harry hang out a lot? You two seem like you're getting quite close." Liam commented as he leaned back into the cushions of the couch, looking to me.
For some reason I felt more caught on guard than nervous. "Yeah, um, we're friends, Liam." I didn't know what else to say other than that terrible and lame excuse. The words were just too easy to see through and I knew Liam was one of those people who knew better than to believe them.
He licked at his lips, his eyes glancing back and forth as he shifted in his relaxed position. 'I mean, if you're friends who happen to kiss each other sometimes then that's your choice." He pointed out.
I sat with my back completely straight and turned my head towards Liam slowly. "Wh-what do you me-mean by that?" I took my hand and scratched the back of my neck when I felt this itch emerge.
"Yeah, um, I saw you two after the team was finished practising. You might want to be more careful and be glad that it was just me who saw on you two on the bleachers, Niall." Liam started.
He knew and I had nothing to say to try and convince him that he was wrong. My mind struck blank after blank thought and Liam was starting to look at me like he was about to break out in a laugh, which made me give him a confused look. What was so funny about it?
"Niall, it dosen't take someone with perfect vision to see the signs between the two of you. I'm not even talking about this morning when Harry almost kissed you right in front of me." He smiled and I still felt stunned that Liam was the one to bring this up to me. "I see the way you two look at each and how you've been acting ever since you and Harry became friends. How it happened, that's not my business. But, I can tell that it's more than just friends between you and Harry-"
"You told him about us?"I heard Harry ask, sounding a bit annoyed with me. He stood standing in the threshold from the front room to his entryway.
Apparently, we're easy to read.
"N-n-n-" I tried to get out.
"Harry," Liam spoke as he turned his body to face him and away from me, raising his hand like he was letting Harry know that he should stay calm and listen before he started telling me off.
I looked over to Harry, who was now walking over to the table so he could set things down. I wanted to reach out to him so he knew that I wouldn't do anything to ever betray him and I wouldn't go talking about the fact that we were dating like it was gossip worthy.
Harry began pacing, looking over at Liam and then shaking his head. I didn't know if Harry was going to have one of his breakdowns but I wanted to be the one to catch him if his legs were going to crumble down underneath him from feeling so overwhelmed.
"Niall didn't say a word to me. I figured it out myself and only said that you two are getting closer, alright? I wouldn't force him to tell me anything." He spoke to Harry in a calming manner, watching him with worry as he continued to pace and run his fingers through his hair like he wanted to pull it out strand by strand.
Then he stopped, his chest going up and down rapidly. We both waited to see what Harry would do next and he was looking at Liam like he was so afraid of something. I couldn't tell what it was but I wanted to make that look go away forever.
He let out a sigh, his fists closing at his sides. "You've," he cleared his throat and looked down like he was trying to fight the words he wanted to speak, "you've got to keep this to yourself, Payne." His fists came undone and his hand reached up and scratched along his clenched jaw. "I'm just not ready for this shit to explode. I know we're probably going to get insults and such because of it and I'm pretty sure the boys aren't exactly being nice to Niall yet." He looked over to me like he was sorry. He didn't need to be sorry anymore.
Al I could do is sit and watch as my friend and boyfriend, hopefully, tried to make their peace with one another. It was more hoping that Harry would see the Liam we both knew and trusted than anything else.
Look, you get to address them like that now.
Now, it's your boyfriend's turn to get some of Liam's wise words.
It's okay, Harry. His words are really helpful.
"I understand." Liam started as he moved over so Harry could sit down next to him but Harry didn't move closer to Liam. Instead Harry backed away so he could sit on the single couch by himself. He slowly sat down, never taking his eyes off of Liam.
I couldn't help but to put my attention to him as well, taking the pressure off of Harry.
"I understand that it can be really hard to come out, especially with all the added pressures and circumstances that the two of you have separately and together." Liam intertwined his fingers together and let his hands hang between his legs. Then he glanced to me. "It was hard for me, too, when I came out in my last school. That's when everything went to shit for me. It's why I'm here now."
That's what he meant to tell me in the library. I reminded him of a younger version of himself. That younger Liam Payne was just being who he was and he was treated like that meant he wasn't a human being. So did that make me the one who brought back all his bad memories of being bullied? How come I never asked him more questions before? What kind of friend was I to him?
Liam took his eyes from me and began staring off in general. I guess he wanted to confess it to me first before anyone else.
"You see, I had feelings for one of my very best friends. I wasn't confused about them for a second. I knew that I wanted more. I kissed him at a party this girl was having. We were talking and I couldn't help but to watch his lips move so I leaned in so I could feel how they felt on mine. A lot of people watched it happen and my friend pushed me away like he was disgusted with me." Liam practically began to spat out every part of him that was negative, and untrue.
"He never spoke to me again, well, except when he became one of my bullies. He was friends with a lot of people in the year above us. They would call me every possible harsh thing you could think of. They tried to lock me in closets with girls to get me to- I don't even know what they were thinking because they were all wrong about me. Then my friend looked me right in the face, spat on me, and told me to take back whatever disease I had because he didn't want it. My first kiss was with my best friend. Even though I wanted it, I now feel like I wasted it on this person I thought would never hurt me."
As Liam spoke I moved myself closer to him, placing my arm over his shoulder to give him comfort. My fingers graced along his shoulder. I tried not to cry but I couldn't help it. I did smile through my tears as I rested my head onto Liam's shoulder. There was nothing wrong with Liam and any boy would be one of the luckiest people I would ever have the chance to meet. He is a more than just a good person and one day he would finally believe it.
"What made you keep quiet here? Did you think people would treat you that way all over again?" I looked up when Harry spoke to Liam quietly. His face was expressionless but I knew he was feeling something.
He let out a bitter chuckle. "Surprisingly, I didn't even have to say anything and I heard all the same things once I joined the team. Louis has quite a mouth on him and maybe I should have fought back but I was trying to fit in with everyone and not make it seem like I cared about what he said."
Harry scoffed and shook his head. "Of course, that's Lou for us. I don't even know how I stayed friends with him for so long and looked past the things he did or said. It was completely fucking foolish of me." He looked down and ran his hands through his hair, shaking it out. "I'm so sorry, Liam."
I lifted my head from Liam's shoulder and rested my chin on it, looking to his cheek. I sniffled quietly and he turned to look at me. He never shed a tear but I didn't know what Liam would do once he had gone off home. I sent him a reassuring smile that I would never think of him as those others did and if anyone ever did I would be there for him like he was there for me, and for Harry.
Liam looked back over to Harry. "It's okay. You didn't know my story. Just know that not all of them are so bad and you don't need to be scared just because you're thinking the worst." He rubbed at his eyes and I pulled away from him.
I moved over to join Harry on the chair, wanting to sit on the arm of the chair but Harry pulled me so that I was on top of his lap, his arms wrapped around my waist and felt him relax at my presence. He propped his chin onto my shoulder and I felt the tips of his curls brush against my face.
"So, is there anyone in your life that you like now? Because if it's someone I know I'll make sure they're not a fucking bastard to you." Harry told Liam and I patted his hands to tell him to cut it out. Liam had just told the both of us something very serious and Harry was trying to lighten the mood up. Liam probably felt like Harry did when he told me about his family.
"Nah," He shook his head and sat back into the couch again. "I haven't really had the time or the courage to be looking for a serious boyfriend. Plus, it's not like I have the greatest selection from our bunch at school. I'm just gonna wait until I get out to uni, where there will hopefully be more mature guys around." He sent a smile over to us and I felt like it was okay to go on but Harry beat me to it.
"You're a really great guy, Liam. I'm sure once you're out of this town, you'll meet someone." Harry tightened his hold on me and I looked down to the ground and started to nudge his foot with mine. He lazily did it back to mine.
"Yeah." Liam laughed louder this time. "Well, it didn't work out for me the first time I tried to move but thanks, Harry."
Harry nodded, letting go of my waist so he could stretch out his back. I slightly moved along with him as he did so. I placed my hand on his thigh to keep myself from falling between his legs or slipping to the floor. He collected me back into his arms again, his thumb tapping against my stomach.
"Speaking of moving on," Liam started after a moment of watching us, making me feel a little embarrassed but I was not about to turn flush and bury myself into Harry's chest in front of Liam, not after we all shed some our weight to each other.
"How excited are you to be playing again? We've missed you and I know that everyone missed you more than they did with me. It's been forever, mate." Liam said.
"I'm really excited, a bit nervous since it has been so long but I think I'll be okay as long as I keep my cool during the practices." He shrugged his shoulders. Harry couldn't see that I was rolling his eyes but I think he figured it out once Liam chuckled at me and gave me a look. I squirmed when Harry jabbed his finger into my side.
I felt somewhat better now that Harry and Liam were talking like they were friends again. Harry no longer seemed like the jealous boyfriend who was trying to hide the fact that he was too much of a man to admit to the unwanted feeling. I sat in silence as they talked to each other about football. I didn't have too much to input but leave it to Harry to work me into the conversation.
"So, I'm trying to get this one here," Harry bounced the leg that I was sitting on to get me to pay attention, "to come along with us this weekend. I think the coach would have no problem with it. Maybe we could all room together." He suggested.
Nope, he's not jealous at all or wants to be all possessive of you around Liam, which could be fun.
No, Liam shouldn't be treated that way.
"Um, yeah," Liam drawled out. "I'm sure the coach wouldn't mind it. It's not like he'll be expecting anything to happen." He chuckled and I sent him a playful glare. "And if we' all do end up rooming together at the hotel, you can keep the PDA down until I'm out of sight and hearing range. I may now know about you and support you both but I don't really need to see my two friends hooking up every chance they get."
"We're not on each other all the time!" I said louder than I wanted to, causing both other boys to laugh and mutter to one another. I guess the fact that I was on Harry's lap right now didn't help me out at all.
Good argument skills.
"Don't worry about it, Liam. We're not two frisky rabbits twenty-four seven. It's all new to us but if sometimes you weren't in the room, that would be cool." Harry chuckled next and smirked before lightly tickling me from the back of my shirt.
Il tried my best not to squirm again. "Hey!" I quickly turned my head to send Harry a look before turning to Liam. "It means a lot, Liam. So, I'll be the mature one," I stopped, motioning at Harry with a nod, "and thank you for being so understanding and stuff. I never doubted that you wouldn't be." I ended with a smile. I truly was happy that this all worked out the way that it did. With each person I could be open to I felt more secure about who I was.
"Like I said, I could tell that something could have been going on between the two of you but I wasn't going to say anything unless I was completely sure of it. I didn't want either of you to think I was making any sort of accusations." He explained.
"No, really," I felt as Harry began to sit up and then he fixed me on his lap so I didn't crush his body with my own. "I do appreciate it and I won't make you keep it a secret forever. I'll tell the boys on my own time and probably after the outcome of this weekend. I just want everyone's focus to off of Niall and that situation and on the matches."
Now, he agrees with what I said to him earlier.
"Harry, it's fine. I've kept who I was a secret for the entire year so far, well, I've just broken it to tell you but I just thought after the way it was the first time that it could repeat itself a second time here. I don't quite believe that anymore but I think it would be best for the team, well as ourselves to stop dropping bombs practically every other day. We all miss being a team and maybe we could have that this weekend." He shrugged his shoulders as he rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward to rest his chin on his hands.
Harry nodded. "And the worst part about the team falling apart is that I've been a rotten captain."
"But you haven't given up, yeah? You still practise and you still try and keep in check with the boys. You're not a lost cause there. You just had more important things on your schedule." He looked to me and I couldn't help but smile and lean my body into Harry's.
"I know what you mean. How different would things be if I never got injured that night? I think about that sometimes like where would we all be and would it be worse than the way it is now?"
Oh, so it's not about me.
You don't want it to be anyway.
But it sounded quite nice coming from someone outside of Harry or mum.
I knew exactly where I would be. I'd probably be close to dead and having Liam tell me that I needed to open up before I lost everything, possibly including my own life. I shook my head and focused on the fact that this was they way things were and that's what was more important. I still felt a little saddened that Harry thought about how things would be for him. I didn't see it as being the best for Harry. He could be having worse breakdowns and I wouldn't be there for him. We wouldn't all be there for one another.
So him getting injured might have actually been for the best.
I think Liam noticed my discomfort because he reassured the two of us, using his words more for Harry to pay attention to. "Why think that way? From the looks of it, you're happier than I've seen you. If I can be honest, I like that you seem more open to others around you." His tone was always so persuading, in just the right way.
Liam flinched when his phone went off in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at whatever was on it. It was like he was trying to hide his face from us before he looked back up. "Looks like I'm being summoned." He groaned as he stood up and walked over to us, smiling at me and extending his hand out to Harry.
Harry took his hand and shook it. "We'll see you tomorrow at school, yeah? Thanks for everything. mate. it was good to be able to talk like this."
"I agree." He rolled his eyes when his phone went off again. "So persistent." He muttered. "Anyway, I'll see you then." He waved to us before exiting the door.
I probably should have felt completely at ease after Liam left but I didn't. I looked down and began to play with my fingers, even as Harry's fingers lightly scratched at my lower back.
"What?" Harry asked me, his fingers stopping.
"It's nothing." I commented as I felt my shirt being pulled back and Harry twirled the extra material around his fingers.
"Liar, I can feel you retreating already. Is it about what I said? Niall," His hand went to my forehead and I didn't understand if he was checking to see if I had a fever or what. Then he made me lean back and rest my head on his shoulder. "Now, listen here." he pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing it. "I don't regret any of this. I'm sure I would have gotten the courage to talk to you if my injury didn't happen. I got to see you at every practice."
I nodded, smiling softly to myself as I paid close attention to one of the freckles on his neck. "But, would you have ever spoken up?" I glanced to his face. "I had Liam to do that before you started to."
He nodded. "I know you did.That's probably why I've been jealous of Liam since you two became such good friends and he was always the one that got to be there for you."
I sat up and turned myself so I could stop craning my neck to look at him all the damn time. "What?" I couldn't help but chuckle, my hand laying on his chest.
He raised his eyebrow at me. "Like you've never noticed it before?"
"I mean, yeah, I have but Liam was my friend and you were my crush so maybe I liked it." I joked, winking playfully at him and he looked down to this necklace. "Hey," I lifted his chin so he was looking to me again, "I did notice but you have nothing to be jealous of. I don't think anything of Liam besides friendship. There's just nothing I feel for him like I have for you, even before we started talking." I told him in all honesty. I shrugged my shoulders and pecked a kiss to his lips. "Liam's just a very caring person and we're just lucky enough to have him as our friend."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I don't know why I let it get to me." I could tell he didn't like admitting to the small amount of jealousy he had.
"As long as you don't doubt me, yourself, or our relationship then I'd say feeling jealous is just normal. I mean, you've felt it when you were a kid, yeah? Like if your sister or friend had something really cool that you didn't have and wanted it?"
Harry began thinking before he pecked a kiss to my nose. "There have been a few instances like that. Wait," he paused, "does that mean you're supposed to be really cool?" He began shaking his head and me and making a face. "I'm sorry but I just don't see it."
I frowned for a moment. "Watch it!" I tried to swat at him but he crushed me in a hug against him, making it rather impossible for me to move my arms at all. I started laughing when he began to quickly sway and I could have sworn we were going to fall off of this chair.
He kissed my hair and stopped, letting out a content sigh. We sat in that position for awhile and my eyes scanned around the now familiar room, still missing any traces of Harry's family.
"How much time we've got before your dad comes around home?" I asked him a bit later.
Harry wriggled to try and get his phone from his pocket. "Not much," he mumbled. "There will hopefully be a day where we don't have to skirt around him either, okay? Just like with the team and everyone else, I'm not going to keep it hidden forever. I've learned that from you and all this bullying shit that the outcome isn't always so bad."
Just like Liam told you, too.
I nodded. Did I need to push him like he pushed me to speak?
"You know, you don't have to leave. As much as he knows, you're just my friend. He wouldn't care about that."
"That is true but I don't think I'm ready to see him for myself just yet."
Harry nodded in agreement. "He probably wouldn't stick around much to meet you anyway. He barely knows one person from the team. I bet if my mum was around he'd know every single one of them from the lot."
"And they'd both be proud of you." I reminded him. For some reason he never seems to mention that out loud. I wonder if he ever thought of that.
"And that, too."
"I mean it, Harry. They would be, even if they both went to your match together and saw you get injured. They would be proud of you because they got to see you playing the game that you love so much." How did his dad actually think or feel when he found out that Harry was injured that night? Was he afraid to lose a son like he lost a love?
"I get it, Niall." He murmured, a bit on edge of the subject. "Can we just not talk about this anymore today?" He sighed and covered his face somewhat aggressively, leaving his hands no longer to support me on his lap.
All I wanted him to know is that people cared about him.
"Fine." I didn't want to upset him further so I rolled off of his lap and stood up, brushing myself off. I should be getting back home anyway and if his dad was coming home then their position may be quite the shock to the man.
"Hey, I know I said I was comfortable talking to you but I can't be fearless all the time, okay." Harry spoke as he stood up as well, looking at me like he was breaking.
I never said that you were.
Or have I?
I have.
I went back to kiss Harry on the cheek but he turned his head so I could catch his lips instead. "I'm sorry. I'll cool down on things for you, too. You've got your first match coming up soon and I know just how much it all means to you." I told him, wanting to get home and relax or do my coursework so I didn't think about this evening.
Harry nodded as he went to grab our his keys and our jackets. "That is true." He opened the door and we walked to the car together.
Before he let me get in, he took my hand for a moment. "You mean a lot to me, and believe it or not so do my friends and family. I just have a lot of stress and sorting out to do. I don't mean to take it out on you and I know you're just trying to help me because I've done the same with you." He squeezed my hand. "Just let me try to get there on my own first and if I fail I'll let you know."
But I didn't want him to fail from the start.
Yeah, but you might have to let him.