Pic on the side is of the Family :D
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Chapter 5
I ran past the blurs of trees, the only sound in the forest being the padding of my paws as I pounded on. Try as I might I still couldn’t clear my emotions, or the murderous thoughts that ran through my head.
The people I had loved, the people I had let into my life and trusted, let some of my walls down for – all of them betrayed me. All of them took my hope of the freedom and happiness that I had wanted. They even helped take away the joyous feeling of my first shift! The one thing that I had been looking forward to ever since I was old enough to realise that the way we were living wasn’t normal, that being in the constant state of grief wasn’t healthy.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I neared the only lake we had in our vast territory, my desired destination. I trotted forward slowly and quietly to the edge and peered into the normally clear blue water, that was now tinted silver as it sparkled in the moonlight, and I had to sit – or was lay the correct terminology for this position in this form? – when I saw what peered back at me, welcoming the distraction from my inner-torment.
There, in the place where my reflection should have been, was the most amazingly exquisite creature. Its frame was quite large but still managed to look elegant, and its small ears were raised, as if on alert for a sneak attack behind it, while it relaxed. Its long fur was a beautiful deep red, the exact shade of roses, and in between the red strands of fur was a rich black that seemed to shine in the reflection of the pool. But what made a jolt of recognition go through me were the eyes.
Large gold irises welcomed me, it’s beautiful long lashes emphasising the bronze flecks within them. They were my eyes, but the colouring of the irises was in a different form. Come to think of it, my fur was exactly the same. My human hair was black with tints of red in it, but my fur was red with hints of black in it.
I was this beautiful creature.
A sense of calm suddenly went through me when a howl broke out inside of me, my eyes widening in the reflection of the water as shock registered inside of me. The howling was then replaced with purring, a sound meant to be reassuring, though how I knew what the sounds were meant to represent I could not recollect.
Then flashes of my training ran through my head and I finally understood that this was my wolf – the animalistic side of me who represented my wolf form – making the sounds. As if to prove the point it howled again. I wondered why this was the first time I had heard her rather than when I had first shifted or whilst I had been running.
My wolf started to yip, but somehow I understood what she was saying, that when I had finally calmed down enough to actually register what I had become and accept the idea of me being a wolf, the shift was complete and she could appear. So not only had I turned into my…well…animal side, I had connected with it and fully embraced it.
I took the decision then to shift back while I was still calm, wanting to actually think everything through in my own mind. So I closed my eyes and concentrated on the reflection I was used to seeing just like I was told to do in training; a five foot six, curvy yet toned body, features consisting of large bronze/gold eyes, red full lips and small nose, black straight hair that reaches the middle of the back and turns red in the light.
I opened my eyes and sighed in relief when I found myself sitting upright near the edge of the lake with my human legs stretched out in front of me. While I reassured myself that I had indeed successfully shifted back by patting myself down, I noticed that my leather outfit was still, much to my annoyance, perfectly intact with not a scratch or mark on it.
I leaned forward so I could cup some water in my hands and splashed it on my face, clearing off all of tonight’s make-up, before I stood up, my legs feeling like jelly since (after what felt like hours of running on all fours) I was not used to walking on two feet – though thankfully my boots had been shredded during the shift because when our hands and feet turn into paws and claws, gloves and shoes are instantly eradicated even though the rest of the shifters clothes stay on and get moulded into fur.
I stretched and combed my fingers through my tangled hair whilst taking in my surroundings, wondering how I could get rid of the pent up aggression still inside of my body. Noticing a rather large tree with appealingly sturdy looking branches, I walked toward it in excitement, revelling in the feel of the cool grass under my toes as I did so. Then I scaled up the tree, reaching my goal of the highest branch in more than half the time I would have done before I had become a full Werewolf.
Oh yeah, this super speed was awesome.
I rested my head against the trunk of the tree, my eyes taking in the landscape of the lake and clearing below me, the cool breeze carrying wondrous scents that wrapped around me like a safety blanket. I raised my head to the sky, wondering idly if astronomers found answers in the stars to every question they had, or if they just liked to look out at the brilliance of them.
But try as I might to feel the calm that I had felt when I was in my wolf form, it didn’t come. My heart still ached with the pain that only betrayal could bring. Just like that, a song came into my head that I had recently downloaded onto my iPod. I remembered that I had fallen in love with its soothing melody and true lyrics. I was certain that if I listened to it now I would feel the numbness I was desperately in need of and only a good song could ever help me develop.
I rummaged through my tiny leather pockets until I found my iPod Nano, thanking the Gods that I decided to bring this iPod with me rather than my touch. No way would that one had fit in such a tight and little pocket without falling out or bulging. I scrolled through until I found my desired song and popped the ear phones in, and let the melody sweep around in my head while I continued to gaze at the sky, slightly wishing I had my guitar to play along with.
As the lyrics absorbed into my heart, I felt my cheeks become damp. Startled, I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. It wasn’t raining. I stuck out my hand through the leaves to check for any drops, but there were none.
“They aren’t raindrops Mitchie, they’re tears,” A voice said, its words echoing in the silent back ground.
My wolf growled and I growled aloud with her.
I put my iPod back in my pocket and jumped off the tree, landing on the balls of my feet. I have to admit I was momentarily shocked at that move and my balance, but I quickly switched my attention to the stranger.
But when I sniffed the air I realised that the stranger – who was in the shadows where no light from the moon or the stars could reflect on him – had a familiar scent of cinnamon, oak and a hint of earth. Reminding me of years of playing in the forest, and rolling around in the dirt while play fighting…and the cuddles I had received whenever I had hurt myself while playing…
Nick!
My wolf immediately stopped growling, but started to whimper at the hurt that ran through me. But I couldn’t help how I felt, and so I couldn’t apologise to her. The one person I loved and trusted more than anyone else in the world, the one who I could always depend on if not no-one else, had kept quiet through the whole ordeal and not once tried to stop it.
Nick quickly stepped into the pool of light that the moon was providing, as if sensing my thoughts. “Mitchie-”
I interrupted him, his pained voice angering me. What the hell does he have to be hurt by?
“I don’t want to hear it Nick! If I wanted to see or speak to you – to any of you – I wouldn’t have run away.” I said to him in a low, icy tone.
He flinched at my words. “You have to listen to me Mitchie. Please let me explain?”
I opened my mouth to tell him where he could stick it but he carried on.
“I know you’re pissed at me, I know that I completely violated your trust for me, and I know that there is no point in apologising for it, because I know how hard it is for you to let anyone in. And when the people you trust to show even some amount of emotion to, back-stabs you, it hurts and you feel like you can’t trust anyone again. But you have to hear me out!”
I sighed and looked away from him. Out of everyone he is the only one who can read any of my emotions when not looking into my eyes (which I’ve been told is like an open book). I did not want him to read that my resolve was getting more painful, that all I wanted to do was run away and escape the feelings that were raking through me.
Again, Nick sensed my thoughts. “Mitchie, you know as well as I do that you are not the type of person to run away from your problems. You hold your ground until you resolve all of them, and you know it.”
“I wouldn’t be in this mess if you had just told me all of this in the first place!” I growled at him, making him sigh as he ran a hand through his hair.
“What do you expect me to do Mitchie? I’m only the Beta! When the Alpha orders you to do something you do it.” He paused, “And I’m sure you would not have thanked me if I had fought for dominance with Dad so I could become Alpha. Not over something as little as this.”
My growls got louder, my hands starting to shake as I fought to control my outrage.
“Little thing! You call me being basically sold to someone a little thing?”
He growled back and took a step toward me, “Do not use that tone with me! And it would be a big deal if not for the solution to the problem.”
The red haze that had clouded my vision suddenly disappeared at the mention of a solution. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ll only tell you if you say you love and forgive me. And give me a big hug.” He said with a smirk and I growled again to conceal my slight humour. How can he still make me smile even when I’m pissed at him?
He grinned, once again sensing my thoughts, “Because I can be irresistibly cute when I want to be.”
As if to emphasise the point his grin disappeared to him doing his famous puppy dog eyes (excuse the pun) that made even my father go aw, but not wanting to be deterred I just shook my head at him.
“More like horrendously manipulative. Now talk before I go over there and kick you where the sun doesn’t shine!” I demanded, to which he just rolled his eyes at me.
“Yeah, yeah, you’ll hurt me with your mad ninja skills. I’m shaking in my black converse.” He replied.
“You should be. If my ninja skills were powerful when I was human, imagine what it will be like now that I’m a wolf!” I said, and was shocked when some sort of strong emotion suddenly clouded my brother’s expression, but before I could decipher it, it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.
“Okay, the solution is really simple. You see, they can’t make you be mated to the Douche Bag unless your wolf returns the Connection.” He said with a smart-ass grin on his face, as if he had unlocked all the secrets of the world, but I didn’t at all understand what he was going on about.
“Huh? But female wolves don’t initiate the Connection, only male wolves do. Female wolves just have to say that they accept that they feel that bond then proceed with the mating rituals.” I said, to which he shook his head.
“Do you listen at all to what Master Harry tells you at the training classes?” He said with a mock-stern looking expression and my exasperation toward him returned.
“Seriously Nick, if you’re just here to make cryptic comments and mock my inability to get through one of our Masters’ classes without falling asleep, then I suggest you leave now.” I glared at him, and his hands rose in the air, as if in surrender.
“Okay, okay. Yes you’re correct, female wolves don’t initiate the connection. But daughters of the Alpha, aka She-Wolves, do. Otherwise there’d be a whole hoard of men fighting for the position.” He explained, but I still didn’t understand where he was going with this.
“So what you’re saying is that, for the first step of the mating ritual to begin for She-Wolves, they have to make a connection with the male wolf or see if there is a bond already there and the male wolf has to do the same to her.” I asked my brows scrunched together in confusion.
“Exactly, how do you think Lucy mated with–” He stopped abruptly and looked away from me making me sigh in irritation at my sister and her stupidly kept secret hidden under a veil of concealer.
“Don’t worry I already know, Nick.”
“How long have you known?” He asked, but from the look on his face, I knew he had already had an inkling of this.
I rolled my eyes. “When they first started to see each other. I mean I’m not stupid. The signs were all there, and you forget I used to sleep with Lucy when I used to have those nightmares years ago. So I pretty much saw the mark all the time.”
“I knew that you already knew.” He grinned and confirmed my suspicion.
“Well duh! Why do you think I’ve been…iffy…with Lucy lately? She’s just being stupid hiding the one thing she should be flaunting…At least she got to find her true love.” I sighed and looked at the moon for solace, but quickly looked back at him when he growled.
“You will find your true mate Mitchie – Even if that douche has claimed that he’s found a bond with you!”
“Derek…he’s…what?” I gasped, my eyes widening. “When did he say that?”
At the mention of his name, my wolf howled and purred at the same time making me even more confused with this situation.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, okay? I’ll take care of him. I mean if you can’t confirm that you’ve found one too, then what can he do?” He asked crossing his arms, and I mumbled my assent while I listened to my wolf’s threatening growls at Nick’s words.
Why is she reacting like this?
I sighed mentally. I really should pay more attention to Master Harry’s wolf-training classes.
“Now, do you think we can go home?” He asked hesitantly.
I didn’t say anything, but turned once again to face the moon, wondering if it would give me the answers I so craved.
Did I want to go home? The place where I had to hide all emotion and walk on egg shells? Where I would have to confront the people who had broken my trust? I sighed. No, I didn’t. But what choice did I have?
My wolf yipped at me again, saying that I didn’t have to forgive them. That I could just give them the cold shoulder and just not let them affect me while I tried to gain control over my life again.
I nodded mentally. It would have to work for now.
I got my iPod out again and popped my earphones in, playing the same song and making sure it was on repeat, humming along to the tune as I started walking in the direction of home. Nick followed me silently, knowing that I couldn’t deal with anything else at that moment and needed time to numb myself properly for the task ahead.
It was only until we were a few minutes away from home that I came back from my music filled zone, and began to hear the sounds of my father pacing and Lucy humming in between pauses, like she was trying to distract herself from her worrying before it came back to her full force. I was almost apologetic, hearing their concern – especially since it was way past curfew and I had been nearly out of Sun Pack boundaries, right where I would have been the Tornado Clan’s next easy target.
But then tonight’s turn of events replayed through my head, over and over like a broken record, until my wolf’s growl stopped it, whining in torment when she felt the echo of my emotions when I did so.
‘Sorry,’ I thought to her quietly. I had forgotten that there were now two beings in me that could feel emotion, and I knew it was going to take me a while to adjust to that.
I hadn’t realised we were at the house until Nick put the key in the door and opened it, gesturing for me to go first.
I took out my earphones and shut off my iPod, placing it in my pocket before taking a deep breath to try to calm myself as I entered the house. I was about to walk upstairs when Nick grabbed my arm and shook his head at me.
“We have to sort this out Mitchie.” He said quietly, though we both knew that our dad and Lucy knew we were here and could hear us.
“I have nothing to say to any of you,” I said, not bothering to lower my tone as he had, trying to get the message to them loud and clear, before I shrugged off his hand and hurried up the stairs.
But just as I was half way there (cursing the fact that the house was so big and needed three flights of stairs) Dad’s voice stopped me.
“Come down here right now Michelle, and that’s an order.”
I growled at the mention of my full name and the tone of the Alpha, but my wolf yipped at me in warning when I thought about defying him and just rushing to my room. Like the stubborn person I was, I ignored her and took a step up…
…Crying out in surprise when pain suddenly burst through me, my body sinking down as if a ton of weight had been pressed down upon me.
Nick appeared out of nowhere, throwing me over his shoulder so that he could tow me down the stairs, and slowly the pain went away with every step he took towards where my father was.
Wow, now I finally understand why no-one defies the Alpha. But by no means did that mean I’d come easily so I punched Nick’s back as hard as I could, momentarily forgetting my newly gained super strength.
“Ow! What the hell, Mitchie?” He exclaimed as he put me down on the ground so that he could rub his back.
I was shocked. How could I have made such an impact on the Beta? New strength or not, I should not have been able to do that. But the shock went away as my anger from earlier came back, and I decided that he had it coming.
“You know I hate to be carried,” I said nonchalantly, walking past him toward the living room.
“Well sorry for trying to erase the pain you were going through.” He mumbled as he walked slightly behind me.
“Yeah, well I would rather go through that pain than to see my father and sister right now.” I said with an edge of menace in my tone.
“I heard that Mitchie,” Dad said when I entered the room.
Lucy was standing beside the fire place, her face full of worry which changed to relief when she saw me walk in, but which then turned into guilt as she saw the anger probably burning in my eyes.
I studiously ignored her and faced my father who was standing near one of the windows in the room that held the same view that I had been trying to enjoy a few hours ago. His face was also creased in worry and his eyes held a mixture of relief and despair as he looked at me.
But I zoned out all of the emotions around the room and concentrated on my own hurt and anger because there was no way I was going to forgive them as easily as I once would have if the matter was smaller. Because no matter what Nick said about the enormity of the situation, they had still sold my life by using the trust I had held for them – and that sort of trust couldn’t be formed again so easily once it was broken.
“You were supposed to hear it Dad. It was bad enough that you had twisted something I love into something where I had no freedom to choose who I love and who I spend the rest of my life with. But to also keep it a secret from me? How do I know that you aren’t keeping anymore secrets from me? How can I trust any of you now?” I asked him.
“What do you mean any of us? What did I do?” Lucy squealed in the high pitched tone she always used when she was upset.
I growled at the audacity and walked up to her before brushing aside her hair so that, when I licked my thumb, I was be able to swipe it across her throat and take off the layers of foundation make-up. She had a shocked expression on her face as I stepped back and stared at the grey paw on her throat.
“That is what you did Lucy. You are hiding the one thing you should be flaunting and be proud of.” I took a deep breath as her face shifted into guilt, “At least you had a choice.”
“Mitchie…I only hid it because I didn’t want you to feel sad.” She said, her eyes brimming with tears.
I snorted in incredulity. “Why would I? Liam is like a second brother to me! I love the fact that you’ve found someone who worships the ground you walk on, that would step in front of a bullet for you if need be.”
A tear dropped onto her cheek, and my hand twitched, wanting to comfort her so badly, but she had to know that she was being stupid in hiding her mark. I turned away from her and looked at my father as Nick went to Lucy’s side instead.
“Is there anything else? I have school in the morning.”
He shook his head at me sadly, though his eyes were begging for forgiveness.
I left all three of them and ran upstairs as fast as I could, wishing I had done that in the first place.
Once inside my bedroom, I shut the door and switched on the lights, looking around the room while leaning against the door, needing to put my thoughts somewhere else.
Since most of the top floor belonged to me, my room was therefore the largest in the house. The walls were a blood red colour with black swirls printed all over it, red and black tinted photos of me and my family and friends hung up all over them, and a black carpet covered the floor to tie it all together. My black four poster bed was in the centre of the room, with black sheer curtains (rose patterns scattered all over the material) hanging around it. Almost directly beside my bed on the same wall were glass doors that lead to the balcony, and the curtains that hung over them were the same as the ones around my bed.
On the left hand side of the room, there were two doors that lead to my bathroom and my walk-in-closet, along with my black vanity dressing table that held all my make-up, hair stuff, and my accessories. On the right hand side was my music/book corner which held all my iPods, CD’s, shelves upon shelves of books, guitars, song sheets, desk and laptop, and my beautiful black piano that had recently been placed back in my room after I had used it last night at the competition.
Wanting to get out of these dreadful clothes, I walked into the closet and went to where my night clothes were before picking out some blue shorts and a white tank top. Then I stepped out of the closet and went into my en-suite bathroom, locking the door behind me. The bathroom was as large as the closet. The tiles were black, red and white, and it covered the floor as well as the walls.
I gladly stripped out of the leather clothes after I turned on the stereo that was sitting on a shelf away from where any water could hit it. Then I stepped into the shower and thought of nothing except the beautifully warm water that pelted down on me, scrubbing away every sodden emotion that attached onto me like a scummy second skin.
After stepping out, getting changed and performing my other nightly rituals, I picked up the stripper uniform between two fingers as I walked out of the bathroom, vowing to burn it as soon as I had time. I plopped the costume on the back of my computer chair before I walked toward my windows and began to close the curtains around them so the morning’s daylight wouldn’t bother me. I took one last long gaze at the moon before I proceeded to close the curtains around the balcony doors.
Then I quickly drew them back. What the hell was that?
I opened the glass doors and quickly stepped out, my flustered self enabling me to ignore the slightly chilly air. I looked around the large back garden, sure that I had seen a figure standing just in front of the forest clearing. But when I looked at the trees and bushes, I could see nothing.
But my wolf kept howling inside of me.
‘What’s wrong? There is no-one there.’ I said to her in my mind but she continued to howl and rattle against me, making my hands begin to shake violently.
“Uh oh,” I said out loud and fought for control. Something had to be out there for my wolf to want to be the dominant being.
I clenched my fists and shouted at my wolf to calm down, that I would deal with it if she just told me what was wrong. But it was no use, my whole body was shaking and my wolf was itching to run to whoever was there – or had been there.
I took a deep breath, and erased all thoughts and emotion. Panicking wasn’t helping me, so I simply started to calm and sooth her until I had control. I quickly did another quick sweep of the area with my eyes. I also sniffed the air to make sure, but there was no scent that I didn’t recognise or seemed out of place.
I shook my head as my wolf whimpered her apologies. Aw, I have a sweet wolf.
I went back inside and locked the balcony doors. Then I pulled the curtains that covered the bed away, and got in, revelling in the silk of the duvet and the comfy mattress. Gladly forgetting everything that happened tonight, I slowly drifted off into a very welcomed sleep.