I glance out the window briefly, before returning the pages of the my book. The weather is beautiful outside. Spring has finally arrived on the Hogwarts grounds. It reminds me of finding the first flower of spring as a child.
I scrawl some notes across my parchment and study the diagram of the Unforgivable Curses. The one about Crucio isn't very accurate. I would know.
"Class, the Unforgivable Curses will get the caster a lifetime sentence in Azkaban. No one has ever survived the killing curse. However, the other two are survivable. Miss Evans, you have had the Cruciatus Curse used on you, correct?" Professor Stone asks from the front of the room.
The room goes completely silent. "Yes." I say bluntly,
"Could you possibly describe what it was like?"
I sigh. "There's no way to describe it. It's so painful that you forget everything else. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt and multiply that by at least ten." I say dryly.
No one says anything after. I wish he didn't ask me. He could have asked any of my friends. They were there.
There's a knock at the door. "Come in!" Professor Stone calls cheerfully.
Professor McGonagall walks in. She's pale and her usually stern expression is gone, replaced with a mournful one. "Arnold, could I borrow Miss Evans, please?" She asks.
"Of course. Miss Evans, please go with Professor McGonagall."
I shove my stuff into my bag. I catch Alice's eye and she shrugs. Quickly, I follow McGonagall into the corridor. "Professor, is something wrong?" I inquire.
"Lily, Dumbledore will explain in his office." Uh oh. She called me by my first name. She almost never does.
My mind races through the different possibilities. More Head duties? A student attack? Death Eaters? No.
We enter Dumbledore's office. It's my second time in here this week. I don't know how the Marauders managed to spend a few days a week here in our first few years at Hogwarts.
Dumbledore stands behind his desk with a look of timeless sorrow in his eyes. "Please sit down."
I sit in the chair and focus on Dumbledore. I have no clue how old he is. He looks about seventy, but somehow he's older and younger at the same time.
"Lily, there was a Death Eater Attack last night."
I raise an eyebrow. "It wasn't in the Prophet."
"The Ministry wanted to keep it quiet until they finished going over the scene. There was no warning. It appears the attack come out of nowhere."
"What was attacked?"
"London."
My blood runs cold. London? My family lives in London! "Where in London?" I ask.
"The downtown." Dumbledore lowers his spectacles. "There was also another attack. This one was isolated from the rest. Lily, your parents are dead."
No! No! I'm going to see them in a week for Petunia's wedding! They can't be gone! No. No. No!
"Lily, the Ministry did not want me to tell you this, but I feel that you have the right to know. Voldemort was at your house. He may have been the one to kill your parents. I fear that you and James may have provoked him at Christmas when you refused his offer."
"So, it's my fault." I whisper hoarsely.
Professor McGonagall places her hands on my shoulders. "I only met your parents once, about seven years ago, but I know that they would have never wanted you to join Voldemort. You're a strong young lady, Lily, your parents' values reflect in you."
It doesn't matter what they wanted or valued. They're gone. "Is...is my sister o-okay?" I shiver.
"She was with her fiancé at the time. She is shaken up, but doesn't appear to blame you." Dumbledore says. "Your parents' estate will be divided between the two of you. Tomorrow, Professor McGonagall will take you to your house to see if there is anything you wish to keep. If it would help, you may bring a friend. I will excuse you from class for the rest of the week."
I nod numbly. Too much... They're gone...
"I will take you back to your dorm," McGonagall says gently. Placing a hand on my arm, she guides me out of the office.
........................
Remus' POV
I sit down between Alice and James. I glance around the table. "As anyone seen Lily? She wasn't in Arithmancy this afternoon." I state.
Alice shrugs. "She wasn't in Potions either. She missed lunch too."
I shrug. "Maybe, she's busy with Head Duties."
James shakes his head at me. "All of the Head Duties for this week were finished. Besides, if it was Head stuff, I'd likely be involved too." He frowns slightly.
"So, how does the Heads stuff work now, since you're not speaking to each other?" Sirius inquires from the other side of James.
"She draws a line on the list. I do half and she does the other half. If we have to talk then we talk." James grabs a bun from the platter in front of him.
Dinner drags on and Lily doesn't show. I look around to see if I can see her. I notice Sirius and Alice doing the same thing.
Peter looks up from his mountain of food. "I heard a rumour about Lily. Some girls claim to have seen her walking with Minnie. Apparently, her eyes were puffy like she'd been crying."
"I don't usually put much stock in something like that." I admit. "But maybe we should see."
James sighs. "I wouldn't if I were you. If Lily's upset, it's best to leave her alone for awhile."
Alice opens her mouth to argue, but closes it. It reminds me all too well, that out of all of us, even Alice, James knew her the best- and likely still does. They dated for about four months. I think those four months were the happiest that I'd ever seen either of them. They were in love. I don't know what changed for James, but something other than what he claimed is the case. It isn't hard to tell that he still loves her. I can see in the way that he stares when he doesn't realize anyone's watching. I just don't know why he said that.
Lily is changing too. She's even more intense with her studying. I know it's her way of dealing with change, but it's hard to watch her. She always has her nose in a book these days. Her grades have been higher than usual, but she's not happy.
"I think that we should check anyways!" Alice protests, pulling me out of my thoughts.
James looks at us. "Alright. I'll make you a deal, when I'm done eating, I'll go to the Head dorm and check on her. I have to get some stuff anyways. Plus, she'll rip of my head not yours."
"Why?" Alice asks.
James bites his lip. "It's complicated. I need to tell her that I'm sorry anyways." He admits.
"She's not going to welcome you back, James." Alice says sharply. "You broke her heart into a million pieces. I've had a hell of a time helping her put it back together."
James looks at Alice. "I know, but she deserves to know that it isn't her fault." He pauses. He says in a low voice. "Mum is in a coma."
"WHAT?" Sirius says in disbelief. His fork clatters to the table. "She's in a coma? And you didn't tell me! She's like my mother too, James."
James' eyes show his guilty feelings. "Look, Sirius, I had a reason. Dad told me not to tell you, because up until yesterday she looked like she was going to be okay. She was attacked on a mission. Dad almost didn't tell me. He doesn't want us to be worrying about her instead of school."
"She's not getting better?" I ask slowly.
"She has brain damage. They did some testing yesterday and her brain waves came out fairly flat. If she lives, which is a fifty-fifty, she'll have irreversible brain damage. She won't be able to function well and she won't have the necessary skills to live at home. She'll live in St. Mungo's. She won't live past ten years if she does live."
My head spins with all the new information. Mrs. Potter could die. The same lady that has let me stay at their house every Christmas and summer. She could have hated me, because of my furry problem, instead, she treated me like a son. She might not even remember us if she wakes up.
"So, why did you take it out on Lily?" Alice asks sadly. "She would have been the best person to stand by your side during this. She loved you."
James looks at his hands. "I don't know. I've been so angry lately. I never meant to say that to her. I do love her."
"Why the other girls?" I ask bitterly.
"Distraction. I actually only kissed one. It just wasn't the same."
"Well, mate." Sirius says sombrely. "I'm annoyed that you didn't tell me, but I understand. As for Lily, I'll speak at your funeral."
James cracks a half smile. "Thanks, Sirius." James gets up and walks out of the Hall.
I hope they work it out. I don't honestly think I can bear watching them like this...
.........................
Lily's POV
I stare numbly at the wall. It's my fault. I wish I wasn't a witch. I'd give anything to have my parents back. I'm legally an adult, but I'm not really for the real world. I never thought that my parents would get killed by my actions. It's not the playground anymore, it's the real world. My actions can be deadly. I can sentence my only sister to death now if I'm not careful.
I hate Voldemort. I'll do anything to take him down. He has to die. He can't be invincible.
There's a knock at my door. "I'm kinda busy." I call back. I silently curse myself for my shaky voice.
The door opens and the last person I'd expect is standing in the doorway. James Potter. "Lily, what's wrong?" He asks softly. His deep voice transports me to happier times, when I didn't doubt that he loved me. Suddenly, reality hits me again.
"Go away." I whisper.
James shakes his head. "Lily, I know I've been an arse and I want to explain why, but if this is a bad time..."
"No explanation will change the fact that you're an arse." I say bitterly. Why now? I prayed for weeks that he would apologize and explain and it never happened. So why now?
"If I tell you why I've been a moron, will you tell me what's wrong?" He barters.
"Maybe." I say slowly. I have no intentions of telling my ex that my parents are dead.
"Around Valentine's Day, there was an Auror mission that didn't go as planned. No names were mentioned in the Prophet."
No... James' parents. They're good people.
"My mum was on that mission. Death Eaters ambushed them and attack her. She survived, but she's been in a coma since. It was looking okay until yesterday." James' eyes are filled with pain. "She has brain damage and they can't fix it. There's a fifty-fifty on whether she'll live or not. If she does live, she won't be my mom anymore. She won't live at home and she won't live more than ten years." He sounds so empty.
"I'm sorry." I say softly. Nothing I say will mean anything.
"I'm sorry for how I've treated you. You didn't deserve that. I hurt you. I never stopped loving you, Lily."
I bite my lip. "I'm sorry about your mum, but that doesn't change the way you treated me. I spent months believing that you loved me. Then one day, you tear all the trust, all the love away like I never meant anything. Then you with other girls."
James shakes his head. "I kissed one girl. Just kissed. I was trying to distract myself from you, but it didn't help."
I press my lips together and look away. It's what I wanted. James saying he's sorry, but right now, it doesn't matter.
"James, this won't change anything! In fact, I can't be with you! It's all our fault, at Christmas-" I break down and start crying.
James' face went pale. "Christmas. I insulted Voldemort..." He slowly puts the pieces together. "You worried about your family. We rejected Voldemort's offer. Shit. Your parents?" James gasps.
"Dead." I wail.
James looks shocked. "Lily, I'm sorry! I didn't realize."
"I didn't either," I mumble. "Look where it got us! Your mum is in a coma. My parents will be six feet in the ground."
"I swear I didn't know... I..."
"It's not your fault. I-I could have done more... Told Dumbledore my worries. My family could have been protected."
"Lils," he says gently. "Voldemort has attacked plenty of people under the ministry's protection. If he wants someone dead, there isn't much that can stop him to be honest."
I sigh. "My parents are gone."
"My mum is gone too." James runs a hand through his hair. "I'll go if you want to be alone."
I shake my head. "No, I don't care."
James looks confused. He raises an eyebrow at me.
"I'm tired of pretending that I don't miss you. I love you, James." I say hesitantly.
He grins. "I truly love you, Lils. I swear I'll make it up to you."
"All I want is your love, James."
He wraps his arms around me and for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. He doesn't say anything as I cry. My tears drip onto his shirt, but he doesn't make a comment.
.........
I wake up in James' arms. He's awake and smiles down at me. "Morning, love, how are you feeling?"
"Okay." I say softly." I have to go home today. Will you come with me?"
"Of course."
I get out of his arms and notice that he's still in his uniform from yesterday. "You didn't change?"
"I haven't left you since last night."
"Thank you for staying. You should get changed. I'll meet you in the common in a bit."
"Alright." James walks out of the room.
I feel better today. Although, going home will wreck my calmness. But now I have James. He's always been the one to steady me.
I change into jeans and a blouse. I'm going to walk into the Great Hall and hold my head high. I won't let anyone throw me around today.
James looks up from his book. I smirk at him. "Didn't know you could read."
"Didn't know you had a sarcastic comment in you." James teases back. This feels right.
"You should know better by now," I laugh.
We walk down the corridor to the Grand Staircase. James looks at me and laughs. "Watch out for that trick step, wouldn't want a repeat, now would you?"
"Careful, Jamsie, I might shove you into that step." I say sweetly.
He just shakes his head and takes my hand.
We walk past a few students. Three girls stare at us with their jaws dropped to the ground.
"Take a pictures, it'll last longer." James says with a smirk.
We continue into the Great Hall. Everyone stares at us.
"Oh my gosh! Is that James and Lily?"
"I thought they broke up."
We sit down at the table next to our friends.
"You're back together!" Alice squeals. She hugs us.
"About time! Mopey Jamsie isn't any fun." Sirius grins.
"Shut up." James chuckles.
Suddenly, the Hall grows silent. Dumbledore walks up to the front with his hands held up. "Two nights ago, there was a Death Eater attack in London. I'm aware that you all have likely read the Prophet. However, yesterday, the names of the dead were released. Our Head Girl, Miss Lily Evans, lost her parents that night and students from other magic schools are dealing with their own losses. Please be respectful to her and anyone else, who lost family or friends in this devastating attack. In times like this, we must work together. Thank you."
Tears fall down my cheeks. James wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I rest my head on his shoulder.
All my friends look shocked. Alice's stark black hair contrasts with her sheet white face. Remus' hands shake. Sirius shakes his head as if he's trying to banish the idea.
"Lily, I'm so sorry." Alice sobs. Her tears are bright with tears.
Over James' shoulder, I see the Slytherins smirking at us, except Snape. His face is blank, but his eyes show sadness and guilt. Of course, he knew. I turn away from him.
"I can't believe it still," I whisper softly.
"I know, we saw them at Christmas." Remus says slowly.
"Let's get out of here." James suggests.
I nod weakly and get up.
James guides me out of the Great Hall, glaring at anyone, who gives me a second glance. Finally, we stop outside the Hall. "Lily and I are going to her house for the day. See you guys later. Take notes for us, Remus." James says with a sad smile.
Dumbledore walks out of Great Hall. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, Professor." I nod.
Dumbledore leads the way to his office. He glances back at us. "I shall suppose that Horace owns me ten Galleons."
James quirks an eyebrow. "Why would that be?"
"Seemingly, it would appear that he roped me into a bet about your relationship. He claimed ten Galleons that you would not start seeing each other again. I felt that optimism would be the best bet."
James shakes his head.
"How is your mother?" Dumbledore asks James.
I feel a pang in my chest. I have no mother. James doesn't either though.
"She's...alive." James answers, searching for the right word. "We don't know if she'll live yet."
"I'm terribly sorry."
I've always wondered why we say sorry when misfortune affects someone. Are we saying that we're sorry for who caused the situation? No. Are we generally at fault? No- unless it's in James' and my relationship- then it's usually about a fifty-fifty. So, why do we even say it? It doesn't mean anything. As a condolence? Maybe, but still... Saying sorry doesn't change what's happened.
"Professor McGonagall will meet you both in Hogsmeade at eight o'clock tomorrow evening. However, she has to be with you when you leave the grounds due to the wards that protect this school."
"Professor, I assumed that we'd be back by this evening." James admits with a confused look.
"Originally, that was the plan. However, I felt that in a troubling time such as this, you should see your father as well, James."
James looks speechless, so I say. "Thank you, sir."
"You best be off." Dumbledore states as he gestures towards Professor McGonagall.
Minerva McGonagall smiles weakly at us. "Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes." James says for the both of us.
We cast the spell and I feel the sickening pull. Everything spins out of sight.
Suddenly, we crash down on my street. As usual, I land flat on my butt.
James smiles slightly. "Are you ever going to stop falling?"
I shake my head, but my words die in my throat.
The street looks the same. Mrs. Ben, my next-door neighbour walks out of her plain brown house and gives us a sideways glance. "Lily," she says calmly. "I didn't hear a car pull up."
"We walked," James answers.
"I'm sorry about your parents. They were good people." She nods and walks back inside.
They're gone. From the outside, their house looks the same. Dad's beat up old car is still in the driveway. The grass is just starting to turn green. Mom must have done her spring cleaning this week; the windows are clean. From the outside, it's hard to believe that this was the site of a brutal murder just days ago.
Professor McGonagall nods and walks away from the house. Taking a deep breath, I lead James to the door. I ring the door bell.
Petunia opens the door. She looks little like the sister I remember from Christmas. Her face is paler than I've ever seen it. Her blond hair is frizzy and pulled back into a less than perfect bun. I've never seen my sister like this. Never.
We fling ourselves into each other's arms. "I'm so sorry." I mutter.
"It wasn't your fault, Lily." Petunia says gently.
"How are you holding up?" I ask.
"I'm...doing the best I can under these circumstances."
"I'm sorry for your loss." James' deep voice rumbles from behind me.
"Thank you." Petunia says with an odd expression on her face. I ignore it. Today, I'm not a witch, I'm just Lily Marie Evans.
We follow Petunia inside. I grab James' shoulder to stop him. Standing on my tip toes, I whisper in his ear. "No magic, not today. Please, for me?"
James nods and kisses my cheek. "Alright.
Vernon is sitting in the middle of the kitchen with a stack of paper in front of him. He's as pleasant looking as ever. He eyes us with a sharp angry look.
"Hello, Vernon." I say quietly.
"Hello, Lily."
"Vernon." James says politely.
"Potter." Vernon mutters.
James looks at Petunia and says." Are you going to call me Potter too?" He doesn't look upset, rather curious.
Petunia presses her lips together and says nothing.
"What do you want to start with?"
"Clear out your room and I'll deal with the guest room. Vernon will tackle the shed. James can help you, since there's a lot of stuff in your room." Petunia instructs nervously.
"Alright."
James follows me into my bedroom. It looks a lot like it did when I came back for Christmas. A piece of paper sits on my bed. I grab it.
There's a cost for every mistake. Your family paid the price for yours. Tell your beloved that he'll pay too.
Voldemort
I drop the paper. "He was in here! He was in here." I hiss.
James grabs the paper from the floor. He looks tired and worried. "Lils, calm down. Your sister doesn't need to know bout this."
I look at the bed. "I wanna burn the bedding."
James quirks an eyebrow at me. "It's not like someone had sex in your bed."
I tilt my head. "How would you know?"
"Sirius."
I groan. "Ew! I did not want that mental image. No. It's bad enough that that we saw him with Marlene in the tower."
"Let's just finish this. After we're done, we can stay at my house."
................
AN: plot twist :) In most fanfics about the couple, James' parents always die from Death Eaters. What about the possibility that Mrs. Potter could live, but have permanent brain damage? Then again, she could still die. So what do you want to happen? Comment and tell me.
Lily and James' relationship survived! You knew it had to ;)
Anyways, vote, comment, etc
Hey if anyone's good at making title pages and wants to make me one for Patronus Charm, private message me and let me know