I want to thank all the readers, fans and those who vote, it means so much and I am glad you are enjoying. Much love God Bless!!!!!!
by the way the song on the side is amazing and i absolutely looooovvvvveeee it.
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I awoke to the sound of my alarm ringing in my ears and I slowly leaned over to the night stand to shut it off. It was 6:30 am and I wanted to take my time getting ready rather than rushing around and being late.
I climbed out of bed and made it up, then made my way to the kitchen, scrambled eggs, with a side of fruit were on the menu this morning and of course a nice chilled glass of OJ.
I sat down and ate quietly letting the thoughts in my head engulf me. I was home, eating and had no idea where Kate was, if she was hurt, scared, hungry or worse; dead.
I quickly dispelled the thought of her being dead because in my dream or whatever it was, I was told not to worry and that I would see her again.
People often times tell you not to worry but it is human nature to worry and think of the worse case scenario. I wasn't a pessimist or anything like that, but I was a realist and I liked to have all the facts on the table.
Looking at things from different viewpoints means you were prepared for whatever life was going to throw at you and I was always prepared.
Well, given last week's episode maybe not always but generally. I thought about Kate's parents and how devastated they would be if she was never to return.
I had chosen not to inform them of the drugs I found, I wasn't sure what her reasoning was for having them but I wasn't about to tarnish her image, in the event that it was all some big misunderstanding. I wasn't sure how it could be but I was trying to be positive.
I cleared the table, washed my dishes then headed back to my room to go shower. The house felt so empty without her here. Whatever was going on I would forgive her, she was my best friend and one of the only people to be there for me since I left home.
I climbed out of the shower and decided I would blow dry my hair straight for a change. That took me nearly half an hour but it was worth it. I got dressed and grabbed everything that I needed then proceeded to leave. On my way out the door I picked up a light jacket since early mornings tend to be a little brisk.
It was now 8:40 am and I was on time. When I got off the elevator I could already see Chris' car in the front of the building through the glass doors. I waved hello to the door man and left.
"Good morning Sisi, you look amazing."
"Why thank you sir, you are most kind, and you're looking very sharp yourself."
Chris was wearing a light grey tux, with a pale pink shirt, no tie, he left the top button undone and had his hair slick back. He looked absolutely incredible. We even matched oddly enough; I guess we were in sync somehow.
"Were you peering into my window last night when I took out my suit?" He asked with a big grin on his face which meant he realized that we were coordinated as well.
"I could ask you the same question Mr."
We both laughed about it while we drove, he told me a little more about the church, some of the people the pastor and how dynamic he was.
I had not been back in church since leaving home at eighteen to go to college, other than the little service Chris took me too. So I was nervous, I didn't want to do or say the wrong thing. I wondered if people would stare at me, plus going to church on a Saturday was a whole new experience for me.
However I had Chris with me and that eased my mind, a little. We pulled up at 9:10 am in the church's parking lot, there were so many more cars here today than the night when I came, which just meant more people to stare at me.
I guess I had a look of pure terror on my face because Chris took my hand, "relax Sisi, they are just regular people who love God." He smiled warmly at me and led me into the building. I was taking deep breathes to calm myself.
The moment we were indoors, an usher greeted us with a big friendly smile, "hello, and welcome."
She seemed so nice I had to smile back at her, "Good morning, thank you"
She hugged Chris and they spoke briefly, she handed us a program and led us further down the hall to another door, where another usher took over greeting us just as warmly as the first.
She proceeded to show us to some seats. Chris was right next to me but was saying hello to a lot of other people who when I made eye contact with, would say hello, good morning or welcome. I did hear a few say happy Sabbaths as well.
We then sat down and Chris handed me a hymnal. A group of young ladies went up to the front on the pulpit, and called out a number from the hymnal. The congregation all joined in singing and the whole place came alive.
The rhythms of the drums were on point, the low key smoothness of the piano player was beautiful and the guy on base was phenomenal. With the young ladies leading out in unison was amazing and inspirational.
A few other things took place after that, we had prayers; they had children's time where all the kids gathered around to listen to a story, and so forth. Then everyone rose and a few people in a line led by and usher came down the aisle and went to sit on the pulpit.
Chris leaned over to me, "the man with the robe on is Pastor Mac" he then briefly looked down at me and smiled. I was enjoying the church service, the people are so warm and friendly and welcoming it was hard not to feel right at home.
Before the pastor stood up to deliver his sermon, we completed a few more items listed on the program. We had prayers, certain announcements were made, they welcomed all visitors and even the regular members, people went around during this time, singing and greeting, they all seemed so loving, I was just amazed. A few other things that I wasn't familiar with took place and just before it was time for the service; the praise team (the same girls from earlier) got up and sang some amazing songs and everyone surely felt the presence of God.
The pastor stood and thanked them, and then we were told to turn to Matthew 25:1-13, which was a rather long scripture if I do say so, but although I had read my bible in the past and started back reading just recently I never fully understood the reason why Jesus used this parable.
After the scripture was read by the pastor and the entire congregation, he did a short prayer and then announced the title of the sermon, which flashed on the screen behind him simultaneously. 'At The Door' the scripture was about the ten virgins who were waiting to meet the bridegroom. Pastor Mac then said they were divided into categories, five foolish and five wise. This I was familiar with because I had read, when I was younger all of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
He then went on to give us a little back ground history, "In ancient times the bridegroom was led into the feast by 10 virgins/maidens. Weddings normally took place at night. So it was customary for there to be lamps used. They would wait for him at a particular spot, to come from the bride's house and sometimes he delayed his coming. So the virgins stood waiting for they knew not the hour of his coming. The long wait would often cause them to feel tired, so naturally they would sometimes fall asleep. Their purpose was to lead him in with the lamps lit and perform the first dance."
This made more sense now because when I was younger I could not understand why they were waiting for the bridegroom to begin with; no one ever explained that part before.
Now the foolish virgins were not prepared for the late coming of the bridegroom so when they awoke and their lamps were out they asked the wise ones for some of their oil, but the wise only had enough for themselves and told them that they should go and buy, they had time.
When they went to the shop it was closed, mainly because it was late but also because the owner was also at the wedding. When they returned to the place of the wedding the door was closed they called out for the bridegroom to let them in. Because they had no lights for him to see their faces he told them that he didn't know them.
"You are never going to know the day or the hour the Lord will come" the pastor had an energy about him that was infectious and he said those words with conviction.
"Today if you hear the word of the Lord, harden not your heart" he had a pleading tone when he said those words and something stirred from within me. "You never know if today will be your last on earth, you must always be prepared for what is ahead of you."
I had prided myself on being a well prepared person, I was prepared for any obstacle that could arise at work, for a disaster if one was to affect me and so many other small things, but I wasn't prepared to face Christ if He came tomorrow, I wasn't a bad person but I wasn't obedient to all his commandments.
"I am asking if you know that tomorrow is not promised to any man then join me at the altar to give your life to Christ."
"If you are burdened and heavy laden, then come to the altar Christ will take it away. If you are sick or in pain then come to the altar"
A song popped into my head that I often times heard Chris playing in the car, 'Put it on the altar'
I felt this overwhelming feeling to get up, but so many thoughts were running through my head, would this affect my life, then I realized my life had been turned upside down, I wanted a change and for the better. I glanced over at Chris who had his eyes closed, so I figured he was praying. I wiped my eyes because so many emotions were going through my head at the time. I took slow steady steps towards the altar, the pastor looked at me and smiled, "praise the Lord my sister"
People began hugging me and kissing me; I felt at home, I felt like I belonged, I was not an outcast or a bad seed any longer. Not like I had felt years before while living with my mother & brother. I belonged, I was finally home.
I was so caught up by my emotions and everything taking place around me, that I had not realized that Chris had been standing beside me; with the biggest smile on his face. It felt good to know that he was happy for me; that I was not alone.
Other people came up as well, and it appeared as if everyone was crying, I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was so full of joy that I felt I would burst. Chris stepped back and stood behind me, he placed his hands on my shoulder so I knew he was still there.
If I knew accepting Christ was going to feel so good then I would have done it a long time ago, I finally felt complete, I was no longer searching for that love that I never felt. I often times felt unworthy of being loved, I questioned why Eric loved me in the first place but tried hard to accept it.
My world had been shattered but I felt like I was finally whole again, not lost or confused or incomplete.
So many people had decided to come to Christ today that they had a baptism; it was fifteen of us, and we talked to each other happily. They had provided a change of clothes for me, put me in a robe and one by one I saw them go up to the pastor get into the pool. He would first pray then quickly dip them under water.
When it was finally my turn I was an emotional wreck, I was happy, a little scared and shaky all rolled into one, but I made it to the pool with the help of an usher and when I went under and came back up it was like I was a new person. A light had been switched on and I was seeing things for the first time. It was an amazing feeling and I praised God for getting me to this point.
After everything had died down, I spoke to someone from the ministries department he told me that my journey was now beginning and they would provide bible studies so I would become more familiar with scripture, any questions that I needed answered they would be there for me.
After church I went to Chris' house, he had prepared lunch for the two of us, we ate, talked and he just kept smiling at me.
"I am so happy for you Sisi." He said while taking my hand and giving it a gently squeeze.
"Thanks, I am very happy also, happier than I have been in, I don't know how long. But thanks for being there for me."
"There is no need to thank me, I was just being a friend and the Lord was the one that placed me in your life so thank Him." He laughed then got up to get some more lemonade.
"Ok then, Thanks Lord for having my back even though I didn't know it!"
"By the way Chris, that food was amazing, where did you learn to cook so well?"
"My mother, she always felt that being a boy was no excuse, she wanted me to be prepared so if I didn't get married right away, I wouldn't starve to death."
We both burst out laughing at that last statement, "she is a wise woman and she has raised an incredible son."
"Speaking of mothers, do you plan on calling yours to give her the good news?"
I had not spoken to my mother in years but I kept getting the feeling like I should call her, I had already pushed the feeling aside last night but it was nagging at me.
"I will call her tonight and let her know, as a matter of fact I think I should go see her, maybe you can come with me."
'That sounds like a good idea; I do have some vacation time. When were you thinking of."
"I was thinking right after I wrap things up in Atlanta, we can head there"
I have not seen my mother in eight years, and other than her constantly calling me and leaving me messages which I seldom returned we have not spoken in a long time either. I mean really talk about things in our life and so forth.
The months leading up to Kate's disappearance/abduction whichever one it was, my mother's calls had become fewer and fewer, I guess she was giving up on me, but I knew I would have to be the one to reach out to her.
Plus the choice I have made should make her more than happy. I wonder if my brother still lived near my mom in Connecticut, that was once my home and I loved the place so much but I needed a change. I did have great friends but most were from the church and since I left that life behind I had cut them out of my life as well.
Hope I am not too much of a disappointment to anyone, I am proud of my life and what I have made of myself. I would be going to Atlanta week after next week for the whole week and then the following week I would head to Connecticut with Chris.
My phone buzzed and I looked at it, then put it back down and turned back to Chris, "who are you avoiding Sisi?"
Sometimes I hated the fact that he knew me so well and at other times it saved me the time of having to explain my feelings, I sighed, "it was Eric, he has been calling me since yesterday."
"So why won't you talk to him?"
"Well I told him I needed time, and he has hardly given me any, I will deal with him tomorrow."
"Ok but in the mean time he will still be calling and that is only going to get you upset, you know how persistent he can be, so instead of talking send him a text and tell him you will call him tomorrow you are a bit busy today."
I really didn't feel like I owed Eric an explanation for blowing him off, he was the one who cheated after all, but I knew Chris was right he would keep calling and that would drive me up a wall.
"Fine Chris." I picked up the phone and punched in a few keys then hit send hoping that would be the end of it until tomorrow. I was in a happy place right now and didn't need the buzz kill.
Chris and I spent the rest of the day talking, relaxing and just enjoying each other's company. He asked if I wanted to watch a movie and I didn't have anything better to do.
We watched the 'Ten Commandments' that movie was just epic and touching. This was an incredible way to end an amazing day.
I didn't think that when I woke up this morning to go to church with Chris that my life would be changed for the better at the end of it but I was so glad I went with him.