Chapter 15- Recovery
I sit at my makeup counter and cry. One tear exits my eye then another one forms. The tears sting my fragile swollen eyes, and I've been crying for hours. My fingertips are black from wiping away mascara-stained tears. I sniffle as another sob comes along while Bethany sits at my side, gently wiping my face with a damp rag. She positions my face towards her and she strokes the rag across my eyes and cheeks. All the stickiness from the makeup and tears are now gone, thanks to Bethany. She hasn't said anything to me for all this time. She just has let me get everything out of my system. I feel bad because she's done all this for me and yet, all I've done is cry.
"Th-Thank you..." I say.
She scurries to the sink and puts cool water on the rag, and makes her way back to me. "It is the least I could do, Arizona. After all, with all you've been through these last few days-"
I interrupt, "With all I've been through? What about you?"
She seems caught off-guard when I say that. I have true pity for this woman. I mean, come on, who wouldn't have pity for someone who has to work for the queen her whole life? I always thought old fairytales with evil queens were cheesy, but my opinions have changed since I've arrived to the castle.
Man, when did I arrive at the castle?
I think for a while, and find out that... Oh my gosh! I'm on Day Four of being at the castle!
No, it seems as if it has been at least a couple of weeks with all this. I'm almost through Day Four, and I've broken down several times. How am I going to make it through this?I always thought I was a strong girl, but maybe I'm not as strong as I assumed. Maybe, just maybe, I'm weak. If I was strong, I wouldn't have cried this much. If I was strong, I would've accepted the fact that I'm probably not getting out of this. If I was strong, I would make the most of this time.
I feel like everything I had, is now gone. Now, instead of worrying at what college I'm going to attend, I'm worrying about a wedding and running a country. Now, I can't spend time with my brother as much as I did in the past. Now, I can't even see my best friend. Now, I can't choose who I am going to be with. Now, I have no freedom. To be able to do something, I have to ask for Queen Chelsea's permission. I feel as if someone's pinning me down, and I'm struggling to break free from their grasp.
All I have is the small hope that I can break from their grasp. The sliver of light that I can find at the end of this dark tunnel. Hope is all I've got, and it seems that everyday, that hope gets slimmer and slimmer. What happens if one day, it just goes away? What would I do then?
"Oh, dear. My life has been fine." She states.
I stare up at her, "But your love was taken away, too."
She has a slight painful look in her blue eyes, "He was, but not in the same way as yours."
I wipe more hot tears from my cheeks. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even mentioned-"
"No," she interrupts, "I'm fine with talking about him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, dear. Don't be sorry about mentioning him. You can ask me about whatever. I'm here for you."
"Thanks..." I mumble.
"You want some nice tea to calm you down a bit?" Bethany asks.
I automatically shake my head, "I'm never drinking tea again after what Queen Chelsea did to me... that was just cruel! I still gag at the thought of that awful piping hot tea..."
"Oh... Emerald told me about that... she said that the queen ordered an odd type of tea for that afternoon. Emerald had nothing to do with it, though. She is a very nice young lady, much like you in a way. She is like a daughter to me, I guess." She replies.
"Since you couldn't have any..." My voice trails off. I know that she said I could ask her about anything, but my manners have been thrown out the window. How rude of me...
Plus, she doesn't know that I know this stuff about her.
She nods, but smiles. "Yes, but I don't need any. I have just as fun with Emerald. I've raised her as if she was my own since we are both in this predicament of serving the Royals for the rest of our lives," she takes my hand, "I'll be your mother, if you'd like."
I was a bit confused, "Um... excuse me?"
She laughs lightly, "While your here, if you'd like, I'll be your motherly figure. I'll be here to support you and guide you through this adventure of a Royal. I'll be like a mum. Most gals need some sort of female in their life that is older than them; that can be their motherly figure in their life. I thought I'd offer because at this desperate time, you seem like you need it, Arizona..."
I shrug, "Sure, I guess... but I don't really know what mothers do."
"Well, as it seems you know my past, I also know yours. I know you have never had a mum and never had a 'motherly figure' either. Basically, mums are supposed to be the woman that is always there for you. They help you through your problems growing up. They give you advice, and they give you a shoulder to cry on. To be honest, it's hard to describe truly what a mother is... but a mum is your biggest supporter in life."
"Yea... you're right... I do need a 'motherly figure' then. I need a big supporter..." I continue, "Bethany, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to marry Charles, and I definitely don't want to be a Royal. I want my old life back..."
She sighs and plays with my hair, "I know... and you just got to stay positive, that's all you can do when you're in a dark hole. Sometimes, somebody will come and save you from that dark hole and sometimes, you have to dig yourself out. You cannot spend the rest of your life mourning... I've learned that. That's what Tyler taught me."
"Was that your husband's name?"
"Yes, Tyler Ryan Pepin, to be exact."
I notice that less tears are slipping from my eyes; she is distracting me.
"Here, I'll be back in jiffy. I'll go get us some hot chocolate," she says as she wipes a tear away from my cheek. She scurries out of the bathroom and I hear her yell, "Oh!"
"Bethany?" I say as I get up, "Are you alright?"
I go to the doorway and peek around the corner to find Charlie helping Bethany, who is sprawled across the floor.
"Bethany!" I help her to her feet and look at Charlie, "What happened?"
Bethany adjusts her blouse and dusts her long skirt off, "He tackled me."
Charlie shakes his head and laughs, "I was checking on you, Ari, and I ran into Bethany..."
"Charles, would you like some hot chocolate, too?" Bethany asks.
Charlie nods, "Yes, please."
"Okay," Bethany walks towards the door, but as she opens the door, she peeks her head around the corner-making sure nobody was going to run into her. I can't help but laugh a little, but it wasn't a real laugh. It was one of those dry laughs that don't really mean anything.
Charlie turns back to me, concerned, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, Charlie, I'm fine... nothing has really happened in the last four days that will really change my life forever, so I'm good! I've just been taken away from my home and the people that are closest to me and I'm told I'm engaged to the Prince of England. Soon, when I am married to him, I will be contributing to help run a country! No biggie!" I growl.
He frowns, "Sorry, but ya know, I don't have a say in this whole thing either. I'm in your position, too."
Emotions begin to stir inside me. He doesn't know what I'm going through. I won't be able to see Jasper ever again and I can barely see my own brother! He can see his family! I have been pulled from my old life while this is all he's ever known! That adds a lot of pressure on me, and he doesn't understand.
"No," I say rather harshly, "you don't understand, and I wouldn't have expected you to understand."
"Ari, I do understand!"
"No, you don't! You have everything here: family, friends, et cetera! I have that taken away, Mister Prince Charming!" The volume of my voice increases over time, "You will never understand my pain. You will never understand what it's like to be in my position, so don't try to comfort me with all that junk..."
He just stares at me, and he doesn't speak a word. His eyebrows tangle together and his body tightens, but his eyes express sadness and pity. He tries to make himself look mad at me, but his eyes show something different.
I feel guilty because he was trying to remind me that he doesn't want this either and that he is here for me like Bethany. I feel selfish for only thinking of myself at this time. But I don't apologize. I stare back at him, coldly.
"Well, I was going to talk with you about all of this, but I guess that can wait..." he says as he walks out the door and Bethany passes him with a tray of some hot chocolate.
"Wait, Charles! What about your hot chocolate?" She yells to him.
I hear him yell back, "I don't want it anymore!"
She looks at me, "Well, what was that about?"
"Nothing..."
She just sets the tray of hot chocolate on the table and hands me a cup.
"Tell me all about it." She says.
I sigh, "I don't know... it's my fault... I just need to recover from all this..."