We stare at one another through the gloom of darkness. Jared's brother presses a hand to his neck, his eyes wide, his nostrils flared, his fury only slightly tempered by fear. "You almost killed me," he growls through clenched and bared teeth. "I'm bleeding!"
"I—I'm sorry. I didn't know who you were," I stammer. Swallowing hard, I rise on unsteady legs. Shannon shrinks back and tenses, clearly preparing to spring to his feet and bolt. "Let me look at your neck," I add.
"Oh!" his voice drips sarcasm. "You know who I am now. That's great. That makes it all better! What, do you go around assaulting people like this on a regular basis? And like hell I'll let you look at it!" Still clutching his neck, he puts out his other hand to ward off my approach. "You stay the fuck away from me!" He scrambles in his pocket and produces what looks like a cell phone.
"Thank God, one of you had the sense to bring a phone out here," I mutter under my breath, as I turn and stoop to gather my knife and gun. Sheathing the knife and tucking the Max in my waistband, I toss my hair back over my shoulder and hold my own hand out to Shannon, saying, "Get up. You've come to find Jared, and I'll take you to him."
Shannon's eyes grow round, before they narrow into tiny, deadly slits. Even in the dim light I can see his face darken as both terror and rage again fill his expression. He scrambles to his feet, keeping a wary eye on my weapons. "What the hell did you do to him, bitch? Where the fuck is my brother?"
I withdraw my hand. I haven't ever seen pure hate aimed at me like this, stabbing into me like twin poison daggers. Not even from Todd. One thing about the Leto brothers; they both know how to use their eyes to incredible effect. I hold myself stiff, resisting that murderous glare and do my best to appear unruffled under it. But my voice carries a slight tremble as I reply, "Follow me." I turn and set off down the hill toward camp. There's a loud crunch as Shannon bursts through the undergrowth behind me, staying right on my heels down the hill toward the clearing.
The hut is still dark, and is silent. I wonder if the commotion of my encounter with Shannon was loud enough to be heard here. My heart racing, I head across the clearing to the low doorway of the hut.
"Seriously?" Shannon growls behind me. "He's in that thing? If this is a trap, lady, and if you did anything to him, I swear to God—"
"Jared?" I whisper into the hut.
"Yeah?" he replies softly. "Who is that? Is everything okay?"
I withdraw my Max and slide it into my pack just inside the doorway. At the same time, Shannon cries, "Jared? Is that really you? Oh, my God! Where are you? I can't see you! Get your ass out of there!"
He tries to shove past me into the hut and I block his way with a sharp elbow to his hard-as-iron chest. "Shhhhh! You're gonna wake my daughter and scare her!"
"Shannon?" Jared's voice carries a note of disbelief. "Holy shit, Shannon, what are you doing out here?"
"I've been looking for you!" Shannon again tries to bolt into the darkened hut and again I hold him back, visualizing him charging in like a bull and plowing right into Jared, further injuring him. "Let me in, you crazy bitch!" he roars.
"He's injured, damn it!" I hiss.
"Injured? What the hell did you do to my brother?" Shannon demands, grabbing my arm in a painful grip.
"Mom?" Shelby's voice is sharp and alert. In a flash she's at my side, the starlight reflecting in her dark eyes, which blaze with fury as she stares up at the stranger, her hands in fists in front of her in a fighting stance. "Don't you ever call my mom a crazy bitch again, you stupid asshole!"
Shannon releases my arm as he stares down at her. "Oh, Jesus. Are you kidding me right now?"
"Shelby...stop. It's okay. This is Jared's brother, Shannon." I lay a restraining hand on her shoulder. "We need to get the candle lit."
"I'll do it," she replies. With another glare at Shannon, she ducks back inside.
"Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?" Shannon roars. "Jared? Why aren't you coming out? Are you okay? What'd she do to you?"
"Calm the fuck down, Shannon," Jared replies. "I'm laid up in here with a broken leg. And dude, don't you disrespect Lanie. She and her daughter saved my life."
"What?" Shannon pales visibly. "Man, this nutcase is armed, and she just tried to kill me! She fucking cut me!"
"Oh, shit," Jared groans. "Lanie, please tell me you didn't."
"Not intentionally," I snap. "I didn't know who he was!"
"What a big baby," Shelby remarks. I hear the soft whirr-whirr as she works the spindle on the fireboard.
"That's enough, Shelby," I tell her sharply. Then I turn to Shannon. "Look. If you can calm down, step inside—slowly," I place a hand on his chest. I glance at his neck as I do so; he is bleeding, but just a little, and the cut doesn't seem terribly deep. "Jared is three steps in and three steps to your right. We'll have light in a minute, but you need to chill out. Your brother's been through hell."
Shannon shoots me another deadly glare. I stare back levelly. His lips tight, he ducks through the doorway and I follow, just as the first sparks fly from the fireboard.
***
Shannon's phone has no signal. Repeated tries result in nothing. "I don't believe this!" He tosses the phone aside in frustration and buries his head in his hands. "We're only maybe twenty miles from Sedona, thirty from Flagstaff. There are cell towers around here! How can there be no signal? Not one bar?"
"In the morning, try on a higher elevation," I suggest. "The cliff might be blocking the signals."
"Was I talking to you?" he snaps. I flinch a little, but otherwise I refuse to react.
"Shan...." Jared says softly. "Stop it."
Shannon diverts his attention away from me. "How the hell did this happen to you, little brother? How did you end up here?"
As Jared tells his story, I lay close beside Shelby in her bedroll, watching as Shannon lovingly strokes his brother's hair as he speaks, and the candlelight reflects in the tears on Shannon's cheeks as Jared reveals how close to death he'd come.
"Oh, my God. I could've lost you," Shannon chokes out. "Jared, goddammit, you can't do shit like this. Mom—Mom's worried sick. Tomo's been blowing up the phone of everyone he can think of. Stevie's a wreck, blaming himself if anything happened to you because he agreed not to say anything to anyone. Your people are going fucking bananas, man. The way you took off—without a word to anyone else—after everything that's happened lately—Chris, Chester—and then the shit with you and Katia?" At this, Jared's expression turns wooden and his lips form a hard, thin line; expressions I've never seen in his face before. Seemingly oblivious to his brother's discomfiture, Shannon continues, "I thought—oh God, we all thought—the worst."
"I didn't come out here to kill myself. Not intentionally, anyway. Jesus, Shan, you've got to know better than that. So should Tomo, Stevie, and Mom. As for anyone else?" Jared turns away. "Fuck 'em."
"Yeah, of course we know better. But it's just...Katia...you know? You have to admit that messed you up pretty bad." Shannon glances in my direction, wiping his eyes. "Hey. Annie Wilkes. You know what? I appreciate all you did for my brother. I do. But right now I'd really like to talk to him without you breathing down our necks. Would you and the kid be considerate enough to get out of here and give my brother and I some time alone?"
Annie Wilkes. My back stiffens and my eyes dart to Jared, who sighs.
"Shan, knock it off. Annie Wilkes? Dude, come on. She's not an obsessed fan for Christ's sake! She didn't even know who I am! She's not out to hurt anyone!"
"Yeah? Well, I've got a cut on my neck that says otherwise."
"Jesus. You've done worse to yourself shaving." Jared rolls his eyes. "And you did some pretty bad name-calling, and if I was in any condition I'd kick your ass for saying it."
Shannon's expression speaks volumes. His tears, his palpable love and concern for his younger brother is beautiful to witness; but his dark anger aimed my way is something entirely the opposite. I've been maintaining an unperturbed appearance in the face of it, but it's getting difficult. I feel bad enough as it is for what I nearly did to him, but Shannon isn't about to forgive it, isn't about to see I was acting to protect Jared as well as Shelby. Not that I can blame him, I guess. In his shoes I certainly wouldn't be quick to forgive, either, but I'd be just as quick to suspect the worst of me. I did, after all, suspect the worst of him.
"It's okay, Jared," I say. I slide away from Shelby and get to my feet. "But I'm not waking my daughter to make her leave. She needs her sleep."
"And you don't?" Jared gestures at me. "Christ, Lanie. You're ready to drop where you're standing."
True. I've never been so exhausted, so incredibly sleep-deprived in my life. But I have no desire to lay there subject to Shannon's continuous dirty looks and comments. And I have no intention of wasting any more of my breath defending myself. Since he won't let me near him I've had to hand the betadine wipe and jar of aloe vera paste to Shannon who attended to his brother himself, glaring balefully at me the entire time. Just like he's doing now.
Yeah, I'd definitely prefer to sleep outside. "I've slept out under the stars before. It's fine," I assure Jared, and I leave the hut. At the edge of the clearing I find a soft bed of tall grasses between a couple of trees nearby. I ensure that it's snake and scorpion-free before I settle in...with my antivenom supply gone I'm in massive trouble should I fall victim to a venomous bite or a sting.
Once nestled in the soft grassy cradle, immediately I begin to drift off and I'm grateful for that; my taxed mind is in a bleary whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions that threaten to bubble over and I simply can't afford or allow that.
There's an element of comfort in Shannon Leto's arrival too, though. It ensures Jared's safe departure from here, and that he'll be with family who love him. He'll get the surgery and all the proper medical care he needs, and he'll return home to finish recovering. I face the fact that in light of Shannon's attitude, Shelby and I will not be accompanying them to California. I try to convince myself that this is for the best, but what I feel is a sense of despondency, of emptiness, a looming black cloud of impending loss.
A warm tear escapes, one single betrayal of my tightly-locked emotions. As sleep overtakes me at last, I vow there won't be another.
***
Shannon sets off for higher ground the next morning as the sun just starts to stretch itself over the horizon. He looks as though he hasn't slept a wink; I'm pretty sure Jared hasn't either. After attending to Jared's bladder needs and giving him his colloidal silver, Shelby and I slice mushrooms and grind more mesquite pods into coarse meal. I add a little water and a precious handful of dried and reconstituted cranberries I've had stashed in our food rations I brought from Minnesota. I shape two good-sized cakes and set them on the hot rock to bake.
Jared's brother is also a vegan. I shake my head at that bit of info Jared shared with me after Shannon left to try for cell reception. Shelby went fishing and disappointingly she came back without any trout. But she found some clams in the creek and so we're eating those, leaving the mushrooms and mesquite cakes for the guys. They're getting the better end of the deal, in my opinion. I detest clams.
"Shannon hates us," Shelby remarks as she flips one of the cakes with her bare first finger and thumb. "Ow."
"He's a little freaked out at finding his brother here with a broken leg and a snakebite," I explain. "He's very protective of Jared. That's understandable, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but we helped Jared," Shelby pointed out. "He should be happy we saved his brother, not hate us."
I sigh. Shelby doesn't yet know that Jared's a world-renowned actor and rock star, and that Shannon has good reason to be suspicious of any strangers harboring his famous sibling...but especially a dirty, unkempt stranger that attacked him in the middle of the night during his search and has been keeping his celebrity brother in a mud and stick hut out in bumfuck Egypt. "The important thing is, Jared's gonna get to a hospital where he'll be taken care of properly and he'll get to go home. He's safe."
"Yeah, I guess," Shelby checks the cakes for doneness. "I just wish Shannon wouldn't stare at us so mean, when we're the ones taking care of Jared. Is he gonna keep being mean when we go to California?"
I swallow hard. "I...really don't think we're going to California, Shelby. Not when Shannon feels the way he does. I think Plan A is back in effect."
"Mexico." the word falls from her lips with a thud. "But I want to go with Jared! Why did Shannon have to show up and ruin it?"
Fortunately, I hear Shannon returning well before he actually does, and I place my hand on Shelby's wrist, pressing the first finger of my other hand to my lips.
Not so fortunately, I discover Shannon's hearing is almost as good as mine. "Seriously?" he says when he steps into the clearing, clutching his phone in one hand, pointing at us with the other. He laughs harshly. "You thought you'd go to L.A. with Jared?" He shakes his head and turns toward the hut. "Hey, man, good news! I got through, there's a medi-vac chopper on the way. But get a load of this bullshit...these two think they're going home with you! So tell me again how not insane they are?"
Jared's response is swift. "They think they're coming home with me because that's exactly what they're doing."
"What?!"
Shelby and I exchange an uneasy glance. "Watch the food," I mutter. I rise and start for the hut, brush past Shannon who's standing there pale and speechless. I duck inside. Jared's calm blue gaze greets me as I cross the short distance to his bed and kneel down.
"Jared, I can't. Shannon's right. It's insane. He doesn't want us to come, and I don't think I want us to come, either. This is exactly what I was talking about last night. It's just asking for trouble and drama you don't want or need. Just...the medi-vac's coming and they'll get you to a hospital. Nothing else matters more than that."
"Yes, something else does matter, dammit." Jared touches my cheek with the back of his hand and once again, just like that I'm overcome with that electric current that flows between his flesh and mine. "You and Shelby matter. To me, you more than matter. I love my brother...he's my best friend, my everything, yeah, and I'll make him understand that I want you to come with me." His eyes shift to the doorway where a shadow obfuscates the morning sunlight beaming in. He calls, "I know you heard every word I just said, Shannon. I want this. Lanie and Shelby are going home with me."
Shannon's low-throated response is blue with profanity, and the hut's interior illuminates again as he strides away from it.
"No!" I argue again. "It'll cause too much trouble! It'll be—"
And that's when Jared kisses me.
His hand curls around my neck, his eyes alight. Before I can react or even form a thought, he pulls me to him and my mouth is on his.
This isn't real. This is not happening. This is like some dream or something and I'm going to wake up, any minute now.
But it is real. It is happening. Jared's breath is a magical caress against my skin. His lips part. Mine follow, and his tongue gently invades, seeking and finding my own. Of their own accord my hands find themselves touching his face, the soft beard, the smooth skin above it, and his long, tangled mass of rich, deep brown hair. His own fingers in my hair tighten and twist, almost, though not quite painfully—a clear message, a command, really, that only heightens the sudden euphoric cloud that is my mind.
That message is, I want you.
Jared makes a low, soft sound in his throat that sends a thrill deep into the very core of me, but then I remember Shannon and Shelby and I find in myself the strength to pull away.
Somehow. Barely. Because my heart has never raced like this, my head has never before spun with all of these feelings and thoughts and fear and want and simmering sexual awakening exploding all at one time.
"God, you have no idea how much I've wanted to do that since yesterday," Jared murmurs, his voice deep, warm, and soft, his eyes fixed on mine and a smile on those perfect lips. "And it was so...so well worth the wait."
I struggle to find something to say. Something simple yet eloquent that could encompass this moment, something that will invoke the same kind of feeling in him that both the gentle softness and fierce hunger in his eyes and his voice and his words give me.
I take a deep breath, but what comes out is, "After that, I'm sure glad that I have toothbrushes and toothpaste, and we're both using them religiously."
Jared's eyes widen, then close as he chuckles, and then a full laugh escapes him.
My face is flaming hot. Seriously. I really just said that? To Jared Leto after he kissed me, when there is so, so, so much to say...? God! What the hell is wrong with me?!
"Oh, Jeeeeesus..."I mumble, burying my face in his chest. "I'm so not good at this. I am such a moron."
His laughter subsides, and for a few seconds I only hear his heartbeat under my cheek. But when I look up again, Jared's still smiling, and again with that softened, yet somehow fiery look in his sapphire eyes. He reaches out a single finger and traces my lips. "No, you're not, Lanie. Not at all. You are an absolute delight."