Kit stole a quick glance at Ming, who was calmly taking a sip of his drink right beside him. Noticing the glance, Ming turned his head and met Kit's eyes. He smiled. Kit hesitantly smiled back.
When Kit had finished his classes for the day, he found Ming waiting for him outside the medical building. Startled at the unexpected visit, Kit considered making a dash back inside the building and follow up with his recent attempts to avoid Ming at all costs. But the moment their eyes met, Kit couldn't bring himself to walk away. Because it was Ming. Who he had missed so much over the past couple of weeks.
As Kit hesitated, Ming approached him in an instant with that bright smile of his. Hey Kit, can you spare me just a few minutes of your time right now? I have something that I want to tell you in person, he asked, ever so politely. Kit's brain yelled at him, demanding him to say no and to make up any kind of excuse that would prevent this interaction from happening. But whenever Ming was involved, that never worked out. Because his heart always won, and it completely shut off whatever sense his mind was trying to instill inside him. So, before he knew it, there he was, sitting outside on a bench with Ming right by his side, the two of them each holding an iced coffee in their hands.
"I heard you got sick. Are you feeling better now?" Ming asked, with a note of worry in his voice.
Kit nodded. "Yeah, I feel fine now."
"Dr. Kit. Even if you're busy taking care of your patients, you shouldn't forget to take care of yourself," Ming scolded him while he shot Kit an exaggerated look of disapproval.
Kit let out a small smile at that, and Ming immediately mirrored it. But, seriously, take care of yourself, Ming said, still looking a bit concerned. Kit nodded his head again in acknowledgement. I will.
"I guess I should cut straight to the point," Ming started out. He paused for a moment before smiling and opening his mouth again. "I'm going to stay with my uncle's family in America for a while."
Kit's heart stopped at the unforeseen news. "When are you leaving?" he asked.
"Next week."
Next week? Kit wanted to ask again to confirm. He wasn't sure whether he heard right. Because it was so soon. And Kit wasn't prepared for this at all.
"For how long?"
"Not sure. I guess it depends on how fast I recover," Ming replied. "As of now, though, the plan is to stay there long-term. I'm going to start studying and prepare to transfer to a university there."
Kit blinked several times in silence. Ming was going to leave to America. Next week. And he wasn't sure when he was going to come back. But it would be long-term. Ming's words kept replaying inside his head, but he wasn't able to fully process them together.
"That's good," Kit finally managed to say. "It's a great opportunity for you, right?"
"Yeah it is," Ming agreed with a small smile.
A brief silence fell upon them. Ming stared at him wordlessly. Kit stared back, at a loss as to what to say next. Because he felt so numb. And he was still having trouble figuring out what was going on.
Ming eventually broke the momentary silence. "I'm going to miss you Kit," he softly said with a tender smile. "Keep in touch, okay?"
Ming extended his hand out to him for a handshake, and Kit hesitantly held it with his own. Ming's hand was warm, just like it always had been. And that's when it hit him. Ming was saying his farewell. His goodbye. The familiar warmth and gentle grasp brought a lump in Kit's throat. He could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. Not now, he desperately told himself. Please hold it in.
"Take care, Kit," Ming finished.
Kit tried his best not to reveal what he was feeling inside. Not to look so crushed. So broken. So devastated. He forced himself to smile, hoping that it looked convincing enough to Ming.
"You too," Kit choked out.
***
"You drank all of this?!?! Are you out of your f*cking mind?!?!?!"
At the call for help of a fellow colleague, Beam immediately drove over to the address of the pub that the colleague texted him. His eyes almost popped out at the sight of what awaited him. We tried to stop him, but he kept saying that he was alright, the group of guilty-looking friends quickly babbled when they saw Beam's shocked face. And shock didn't even cover what Beam was feeling then. Because, right in front of his eyes, there was a Kit who clearly looked completely wasted. He was leaning against one of his colleagues, unable to even sit up properly, and he was surrounded by several empty bottles of vodka and shot glasses.
"Don't worry. I'm not drunk," Kit reassured Beam with a smile. But, contrary to his statement, he was slurring all his words due to his drunken state.
"That's not the point!" Beam yelled in frustration.
With the help of the other friends, Beam slung Kit on his back and carried him outside of the pub and over to his car. Considering how pissed off he was, he really wanted to just throw Kit on the ground, thinking that the crash might knock some sense into his idiotic friend. But, to his utter frustration, whenever it came to Kit, Beam couldn't do anything that hurt him in any way. So, he ended up carefully placing his friend in the front seat of his car, making sure that Kit was properly and comfortably seated. Despite all those gentle actions, though, Beam still shot a death glare at Kit. Because this was it. This was the last straw and Beam just couldn't take Kit's sh*t anymore.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?!"
Kit dropped his smile and let out a heavy sigh. "Beam, no matter how much I drink, it doesn't work," he muttered in a trembling voice. "I can't stop thinking. I can't stop feeling. It just keeps hurting. More and more."
Beam knew why Kit was acting like this. Heck, even he was so surprised today when he heard that Ming was leaving to the States next week. But, still, that was certainly no excuse for Kit to drink himself to death. There were other healthier ways to cope with this. Or smarter ways that could stop this catastrophe from happening in the first place.
"If you're going to be so miserable, then go and stop him," Beam said. "Tell him not to go."
Kit forced out a laugh at that. "Saying what? Hey Ming, I forgot to mention that I'm your boyfriend. Well, actually your ex-boyfriend because I broke up with you before you got into that accident. But, putting that aside, I don't want you to go. Please don't go?"
Beam didn't laugh with him. He just stared in silence at Kit, who was now covering his eyes with the back of his hand. His friend was crying. And completely breaking Beam's heart in the process.
"What right do I have to stop him from pursuing such a great opportunity? Especially after I hurt him and pushed him away?" Kit said, his voice cracking from all his tears.
"And why did you push him away?!" Beam exploded. "Godd*mnit Kit!!! I didn't ask you before and I went along with your stupid plan because I thought maybe, just maybe, you were making this decision to be happy. That there was something behind all of this that I didn't understand. But f*ck that! You're dying inside and I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend with you that everything is going to be okay!"
Kit cleared his throat, trying to swallow his sobs and calm himself down. "I just need some time. And once Ming leaves, it'll be easier to move on. It's going to be okay."
When did his friend become so blind?! Of course, Beam knew that even though Kit was very sensitive and observant when it came to other people and their problems, he was always so clueless about himself. So unsure about how to deal with his own problems. But this time around, Kit's blindness was hurting him. Killing him. And Beam was afraid that he wouldn't be able to save Kit before it got too late. So, Beam didn't back off. He was determined to get it straight in Kit's head and bring him back to his senses.
"Stop lying to yourself! You're not going to get over this, and you know it."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" Kit desperately cried. "Beam, don't say that. Please. Just let me believe that I'll be able to get over this. At least, give me that."
Kit removed his hand from his face and stared at Beam with lifeless eyes that were filled with sheer hopelessness. He kept trembling, with tears streaming down his face. At the sight of such a helpless Kit, Beam's face softened. He couldn't keep pushing Kit and hurting him. He never could.
"Then tell me why you're being like this," Beam compromised.
Kit closed his eyes. "I can't watch him lose everything. I just can't."
"What are you talking about?" Beam asked. He scrunched up his face, baffled at Kit's strange answer.
But with those last words, Kit fell silent. Beam watched his friend during the long silence that followed. He hoped that Kit would be given a little bit of peace while he was out unconscious. Be relieved of his painful reality for at least a moment. But, to his distress, Kit kept on crying even in his sleep. Beam reached out his hand to wipe away all the tears, but he couldn't stop them from falling down. And Beam teared up with him because he couldn't bear seeing Kit suffer so much.
***
Momentarily slipping back to his senses, Kit felt himself being carried on the back of someone. Of Beam. He knew he was being such an annoying asshole and that he was so fortunate to have a friend like Beam by his side. Beam, I'm sorry, Kit mumbled softly. He slowly drifted back to unconsciousness again, thankful to be free from his suffering thoughts. Do you still love Ming? Kit heard before he completely blacked out. He chuckled softly and weakly let out his truth. That's a stupid question. Of course I love him. I'll always love him.
***
Author's Note: OMG I dropped the bomb! T.T Next chapter is a biggie so it may take me some time to update. Also, I know many of you are super anxious to find out Kit's reason behind all of this. Sorry for the wait, but as of now, I'm planning to reveal it in Chapter 17 or 18. As always, thank you to all who read, vote, and comment!!!