- Past -
"Did I do something that upset Kit?" Ming demanded to know as he desperately clung onto a very annoyed Beam.
Kit was acting strangely for the past several days. And it was driving Ming to the brink of insanity. At first, Ming thought that Kit was just busy with his studies, understanding that the medical students were usually pretty slammed with their never-ending exams and clinical rotations. Kit had even told Ming so, when Ming couldn't take it anymore and had waited for Kit in front of the medical building. At that time, Kit had given Ming an apologetic look, saying that he would be busy for the next few days with studying. I'll call you, okay? Kit promised, and he quickly walked away before Ming could get a word in.
Ming didn't want to be a clingy or obsessive boyfriend who interrupted Kit from his important studies, so he patiently waited. But with each passing day, he couldn't help but think that something was wrong. Kit didn't call him, and he didn't answer any of Ming's calls. Kit only provided very terse replies to his texts. And in the chance that they crossed paths on campus (usually because Ming made a continual effort to be around the medical building), their interactions were always cut short by a Kit who hastily walked off.
At this point, Ming was sure that for the past several days, Kit was purposefully avoiding him. And his excuse about being busy with his studies seemed to be an outright lie. Because if that were the case, he figured that he shouldn't be seeing Pha and Beam so often. The doctor trio had pretty much the same schedule, so if Beam had time to come visit Forth at the engineering building, then shouldn't Kit have some free time as well?
"OMG, leave me out of your stupid lovers' squabble!" Beam squawked in frustration, as he tried to brush off Ming's clingy hands.
Not letting go of Beam, Ming frowned. "But Kit keeps avoiding me! And I have no clue why!!!"
Shooting a very frustrated look at Ming, Beam eventually sighed in exasperation. Kit's going to kill me for this, he muttered under his breath as he handed over a set of keys to Ming.
"Go wait inside his apartment. He should be back in about an hour. This way, he won't be able to avoid you, so you could ask him directly why he's being such an idiot," Beam grumbled.
"...Why do you have the keys to Kit's apartment?"
Ming peered at Beam suspiciously. Although he was truly grateful for Beam's help, he couldn't stop his jealousy from spilling out. Beam rolled his eyes.
"I definitely don't have time for your jealous outbursts!" he scoffed before roughly pushing Ming away and heading off to meet Forth.
So, putting his jealousy aside, Ming obediently followed Beam's instructions. He used the keys to enter into Kit's apartment and he impatiently waited. Until Kit finally came back in about an hour, in line with Beam's prediction. Upon seeing Ming, a startled Kit jumped in surprise. Sensing that Kit might leave and try to avoid him again, Ming quickly walked over to Kit and held firmly onto his arm.
"What are you doing here?" Kit asked, still taken aback by Ming's presence. He tried to take a step away from Ming, but Ming prevented him from doing so.
"You've been avoiding me for the past few days, and I have no idea why. Tell me what's wrong."
Ming stared intently at Kit, who reluctantly met his eyes. But, contrary to Ming's expectations, Kit didn't look that upset or angry at him. Kit looked apologetic, just like he did a few days ago. And he seemed hesitant, as if he didn't want to tell Ming something. On top of that, as Ming closely examined Kit's face, he noticed that Kit looked like he lost some weight. His face was pale, his eyes were a bit red and puffy, and he seemed to be shivering a little bit?
"I don't want you getting sick," Kit finally confessed, confirming Ming's last thoughts. He backed away from Ming again. "You have an important exam coming up in a few days and I don't want you to get sick because of me."
So go away, Kit said as he gently shoved Ming towards the front door. I'll come see you once I feel better. Ming fell silent. He wasn't sure whether he should be angry or just laugh at Kit for being so foolishly considerate. And this entire time, he was so worried that he had done something that upset Kit.
Instead, Ming grabbed Kit and pushed him against the wall. And before Kit could say anything, Ming leaned in and kissed him, his tongue immediately dipping in between Kit's parted lips. The kiss was messy but seamless, with Ming gently cupping the back of Kit's neck with his hand but relentlessly diving in deeper into his mouth, and Kit trying to push Ming away but eventually giving in to Ming's stubbornness.
"There, now I share whatever you have," Ming declared with a cheeky smile before he lightly pecked Kit's swollen lips once more.
You asshole! Out of breath, Kit shot a death glare at Ming, and with the little energy he had, he attempted to kick and punch Ming away from him. Not budging at all, Ming slightly frowned and wrapped up a weakly resisting Kit tightly in his arms.
"You're not playing fair, Kit. Just because I'm not a doctor doesn't mean that I can't take care of you. Do you know how worried sick I was?" Ming said to Kit, who finally stopped trying to free himself.
You can't get rid of me that easily, Ming whispered in Kit's ear. Yeah, I definitely got that message, Kit mumbled with a small smile.
***
- Present -
"It's okay, Beam. I'll be fine," Kit rasped out with difficulty.
Despite his efforts to ease Beam's concern, Beam looked stricken with even more worry. Kit had fallen sick last night. It was a type of viral illness that he frequently got, especially when he was extremely stressed out. He felt cold and weak, with chills consuming his entire body, he was aching all over as if he had been beaten severely, and his head was pounding in pain.
"I'll be back as soon as possible, okay?" Beam said for the billionth time.
Kit nodded and closed his eyes. He felt Beam's hands touching his forehead and checking his temperature one more time. I'll be fine, Kit softly repeated. Hurry up and go, you're going to be late. Beam gently swept Kit's bangs to the side before he reluctantly left at Kit's insistence.
Kit shivered again as he dug himself deeper under the blanket. It was actually no surprise to him that he had gotten sick. He had been so stressed out recently. Because he was feeling so guilty of what he was doing.
Kit knew what was going on. He knew that all his friends were making up excuses and creating opportunities for Ming and Kit to see each other. But Kit pretended not to know. He pretended to be an ignorant fool and an innocent prey to his friends' plans. Because he missed Ming. Because he kept hoping that he'd be given a bit more time with Ming. Because he wished that he'd be able to see him, talk to him, laugh with him. Just a little bit longer. Before Ming got his memories back.
And to add to his self-loathing, he was totally enjoying Ming's flirting. Kit was just letting Ming make advances at him when he should be setting a line. When he should be keeping a distance between them and firmly establish that they would only be friends. And if he wasn't able to do it, if he wasn't able to just stay put as Ming's friend, then Kit should stop seeing Ming. Instead of leading him on. Instead of allowing Ming to pursue him. When Kit had pushed him away and had broken his heart just a few months ago.
His reality harshly struck him in the face when he had heard Ming's confession that night. Ming. Who was still so sweet and irresistible. Who was still pouring out his love to Kit, who surely didn't deserve any of it. So, consumed with guilt, for the past couple of weeks, Kit had gradually started to avoid Ming. He stopped answering his calls. He stopped replying back to all of his texts. Heck, he even tried to avoid meeting his friends as much as possible, afraid that he would run into Ming. Even though, he felt himself dying inside, slowly but surely with each passing second.
Get used to it, he bitterly told himself. Get used to a life without Ming. And he tried. He focused on studying, on his rotations, on his extracurricular activities, on anything in his life that didn't involve or include Ming in any way. And eventually all the stress and anxiety came to him, driving him down with sickness.
Perhaps he was being punished for being so selfish. Although, at the same time, Kit felt a bit relieved. Rather than a punishment, this illness oddly felt like a reward. Because with the pain coming from the constant muscle aches all over his body, he wasn't able to think. Think about Ming. Think about how much he missed him.
Kit slowly drifted off to unconsciousness, drowsy from the medicine that he took earlier. And before he knew it, he was standing by himself, all alone, in a very familiar place. A place that he never wanted to revisit, ever again. For a moment, Kit had to laugh at himself for ever thinking that this sickness was a reward. Of course, it wasn't. Nothing was going to get him away from Ming. In fact, it was indeed a punishment. Because it was trapping him in his very worst nightmare. And he was helpless against it, unable to wake himself up.
Kit closed his eyes shut and reluctantly opened them again. As he expected, Ming appeared in front of his eyes. He was desperately grabbing onto Kit's arm. Please take it back. Please don't say that, Kit. I'll fix whatever's wrong, so please don't do this, Ming cried. And Kit couldn't lie to Ming again. He couldn't break Ming's heart again. He had already done it once, and it had killed him.
Kit sobbed out his truth and reached out towards Ming. I'm sorry. I take it back. Of course I love you. I love you and I never want to let you go.
But the second he blurted out those words, Ming gradually faded away. In panic, Kit frantically tried to cling on to Ming, but his hands were empty. Because Ming had completely disappeared. Kit looked around him as his surroundings suddenly started to change. It felt like the world was turning upside down, as if he was falling down from the sky at an uncontrollable speed and violently crashing down to the ground.
Before he could process what was going on, Ming reappeared. He was crying again. But this time, Kit couldn't reach out to Ming, no matter how hard he tried. Ming didn't seem to recognize that Kit was there, even though Kit was right in front of him. Ming was falling apart, shattering into bits and pieces, and all Kit could do was watch in tears.
I warned you of this. Kit turned his head towards the new voice coming from behind him. She was glaring at him, cold eyes piercing through him and stabbing his heart a countless number of times. I asked you, begged you to let him go. But you were so selfish. And now you ruined everything.
I regret having loved you, Ming said as he looked at Kit, his black eyes dead and filled with emptiness. I wish I had never met you.
I'm sorry Ming. I'm so sorry, Kit cried over and over again. But no matter how many times he said them, his words never reached Ming. And Kit could only watch while Ming walked away from him into an eternity of nothingness.
***
Author's Note: As warned, the angst is back T.T Also, I was so pleasantly surprised by all the reactions to the last chapter! All your interactions truly mean a lot to me and really keep me motivated :D As always, thank you to all who read, vote, and comment!!!