"do you remember what you said to me?"
victor gave yuri a sideways glance as the car pulled up outside the entrance to the rink, and yuri smiled and shrugged.
"i've said a lot of things to you," he countered, biting at his bottom lip playfully. victor laughed a little, before he turned off the engine and leant back in the driver's seat.
"you told me that you wouldn't let me kiss your neck until i was in love with you," he said, and yuri leant his head back and laughed, blushing, fingers brushing over the hickeys on his neck.
diamond👄: i'll let you kiss my neck again
diamond👄: if you ever happen to fall in love with me
diamond👄: until then
diamond👄: i'll let you kiss my lips
"well then," yuri said, pulling down the sleeves of his tight black shirt, and glancing up at victor. "let's hope that you love me then, huh?"
"after everything we've been through, you're still doubting me?" victor joked, although he still leant over and kissed yuri longingly, before saying, "i love you, yuri katsuki."
"i know," yuri replied in a whisper, and let victor taste his lips once again, before he pulled away and got out of the silver mercedes. "now are you going to tell me why you dragged me here? to watch you skate?"
"no, actually," victor said, pulling the sports bag out from under the car seat and locking the car, and heading up the steps to the rink wth yuri. "no, for something else, baby."
yuri loved it when victor called him that, and smiled down at the ground as victor pushed open the double doors and lead yuri towards the ice.
•••
"shame," yuri said, leaning against the side of the rink and staring across the expanse of smooth, white ice. "i thought i'd be in for watching the victor nikiforov skate in person."
victor laughed, and looked up from tying on his skates to shoot yuri a look with playful blue eyes.
"yuri," he teased, "you've slept with "the victor nikiforov." more than once."
yuri blushed.
"doesn't mean that i still don't want to see him skate," he muttered in reply, and stuffed his cold hands into the pockets of his jeans. victor stood up, and folded his arms. "what?" yuri asked, still leaning against the barriers that frame the ice.
they were the only two people there.
"nothing," victor smirked, hair in his eyes again. yuri reached up, and brushed away the stands of silver hair blotting his view of bright blue eyes.
"no, what is it?" yuri asked, biting at his bottom lip again, arms crossed over his chest to keep himself warm. victor saw that he was cold, and tossed him his black armani jacket.
"you've got a habit of having to wear my jacket," victor teased, and yuri breathed in the familiar scent of lemon, vanilla and aftershave.
"expensive," he replied with a teasing smile, holding up his arms inside the jacket. victor rolled his eyes, and in that one second, just looking at him sort of took yuri's breathe away.
"when you're made of money," victor said, tapping one of the blades of his skates against the ground, "you want to waste it all away."
he smiled jokingly, but yuri thought of what he had said to him under warm water whilst his fingers traced over his wet skin, listening to the beating of his heart, and looks away, lump in his throat and every fucking thing victor poured out to him resurfaces. he couldn't bear to think of any of it happening to the man with blue eyes and silver standing in front of him, and bit hard at his bottom lip, pressing onto the healing cut and tasting blood.
"so," yuri said finally, wiping the edges of his eyes with the sleeves of victor's jacket hurriedly. "what were you going to say?"
victor took a moment to remember, before smiling at yuri.
"only that you're not so forward now, are you? you blush around me more than you used to. like just then, when you brushed the hair out of my eyes. your cheeks went all pink."
yuri shuffled his feet, and victor gave a little laugh.
"it's cute."
"well," yuri said in response, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear, the sleeves of victor's jacket a little too long, "if you mean what you say, nikiforov, and you really do love me - "
yuri's hands went absentmindedly to the hickeys exposed on his neck.
" - you're going to have to put up with anxiety from me," yuri said, fiddling with his hair. victor smiled at him gently.
"you take pills for it?"
yuri gave another small laugh, and drew the jacket around him a little tighter.
"i take a lot of pills, vitya," he said, and victor smiled. yuri sighed a little, thinking of the prozac and the other container of blue pills by his side of victor's bed, before looking up at the ice and rubbing his arms.
"so why did you bring me here?" yuri said, and victor kicked the sports bag towards him, the sound of something heavy inside caught yuri's attention. he looked at victor's expression - expectant - before bending down the look inside.
at a pair of ice skates.
"victor," yuri started, breath visible in the coolness of the rink. "i...i..."
he laughed a little, shakily brushing back his hair and catching the scent of lemon, vanilla and aftershave on the sleeve of victor's jacket.
"how did you get my size?" he asked wth a soft laugh, and victor smiled down at him.
"stalking you to find your snapchat," he replied, silver hair tickling his cheeks. "best decision i ever made, baby."
"such a flirt," yuri muttered under his breath, running his fingers through the laces of the ice skates, which were as white as victor's bedsheets.
"put them on, then," victor said, and yuri froze, and looked up at him.
"you brought me here to skate?" he asked, and victor gave a short laugh.
"no, why would you think that?"
victor's smile faded when he saw how anxious yuri looked, and he knelt down to cup his soft, delicate face in his hands.
"why are you looking like that?" he asked gently. "what's wrong, moya lyubov?"
"it's just," yuri started off with difficulty, trying to stop the tape of the ice cutting into the palm of his hands as he fell and the gasp of the crowd playing in his hand, and the tape of a glass smashing, akio shouting and a man in a boss suit approaching him in the darkened city streets.
"don't think about him," victor said, soft but firm, trying to stop his fists from clenching at the realisation yuri was thinking of that bastard akio tanaka. "this will be good for you, to skate again."
victor leant his forehead against yuri's, yuri hands on his shoulders, and smiled at his angel.
"and i want to see you skate, yuri," he added, and pressed his lips against his to let yuri know that he's there, that yuri is safe with him, that he's never, ever going to leave him again.
a hotel room flashed before victor's eyes, and a motionless yuri on jj's dishevelled bed in jeans ripped at the knees, but he shut it out and helped yuri to his feet, before bending down and tying up the skates for him.
"i haven't skated for three years," yuri said, messing with the hem of the cuffs of victor's unwanted, expensive jacket.
"doesn't matter," victor said simply, and helped yuri onto the ice. "see? you're standing fine. and i watched videos of you skating, yuri, and i've got to say, you're pretty fucking good. you can't just forget a talent like that."
yuri blushed, and although nervous at first, glides across the ice towards the centre.
"ha," he gave a little laugh, and gobies victor a small smile. "i guess you're right."
victor nodded, and leant both arms back against the barriers of the rink. yuri skated a small circle around the centre, barely shaking on his feet at all.
"skate something for me," victor said suddenly, his voice filling the rink. yuri looked over at him, and his fingers started fidgeting, half-hidden by the sleeve of victor's jacket.
"i..." he started off, feeling the same anxiety he had felt before he stepped on the ice years ago, akio nodding at him and the commentators announcing his name. "i-i can't remember any programs...really..."
victor saw that he was nervous, and smiled at him reassuringly, to show that yuri was safe now.
"i saw a video of you skating my program," victor said. "do you remember it?"
he could see that from across the ice, yuri blushed.
"y-yes, i think," he managed to say. "i-i liked to watch you skate...on the television..."
victor tried to hide his smile.
"you can add any moves you want," he added going over to his phone and skimming through the music. "because i'm going to play you different music. try and feel the movements, alright? it helps."
victor saw yuri nod, biting at the cut on his bottom lip, and soon his fingers hovered over the song he was searching for - the song he had started listing to since yuri had fallen asleep in his mercedes as they sped away from the fault and the sirens, in victor's denim jacket that was stained with blood.
the song that reminded him of yuri katsuki, with the soft, dark, dark hair and the scent of bubblegum.
"you ready?" he called across the bright white ice, and yuri nodded, raising his head of dark hair determinedly, and undo by the 1975 started to fill the rink and its empty rows of a seats.
"twist around the lounge"
victor held his breath as he watched yuri raise his arm and lower it gracefully, and watched as he started to glide across the ice, sending flakes flying like diamonds.
diamond👄: i'll let you kiss my neck again
diamond👄: if you ever happen to fall in love with me
"sun drowns the house"
victor could feel his heart beat hard in his chest as he watched his yuri become immersed in every little movement; each move of the hands, his eyes almost closed, flowing across the ice.
"...i want to see you undo it..."
victor nikiforov could feel his heart beat faster with love for his angel; beat faster at every movement, every touch of his hands on his body as the routine drew on, every stroke of his skates against the ice.
"...i want to see you undo it..."
yuri's breathing was getting faster as the muscles in his body pulled tight, and the music rolled over him like waves onto the beach. he could taste victor's lips, feel them on his neck, see his bright blue eyes, hear the music that reminded him of victor nikiforov.
"...i want to see you but you're not mine..."
the music was coming to an end, and yuri could hear the crowds gasp, the commentators talking and talking faster and faster, could feel his chest tighten, feel akio's grip on his wrist, hear a glass shatter -
yuri stopped as the music came to a close, the routine at its end, breathing in the scent of victor nikiforov laced on his jacket. he could see victor coming over to him, across the ice, and yuri knew that he was crying.
softly; silently; tears slowly making their way towards the ice and vision blurring as if he were recovering from a comedown once again.
before he knew it, breathing heavily as a result from the skating and the memories of akio tanaka's loud voice and victor nikiforov's lips, he was leaning against victor's chest, lips against the warm skin through his grey t-shirt, listening to his heart beating.
"you're alright," victor shushed him, stroking his hair and holding him tight. "you're alright. you're safe, yuri, you're safe."
and as this must by my dream started to play, yuri breathed in the scent of victor nikiforov and the tape of akio tanaka kicking at the wall started to stutter to a stop.
•••
"...wide awake before i found you..."
the coldness of the ice was still numbing his skin under victor's armani jacket as yuri lay beside victor on the ice, staring up at the bright ceiling lights, skin of the backs of his hands painfully cold.
"beautiful," victor murmured, running. his thumb backwards and forwards over yuri's icy knuckles, bare arms freezing against the ice. "you skate beautifully."
yuri have the hint of a smile, focusing on the feel of victor's thumb and the coldness of the ice. the two of them lay in the centre, with barely a word, chest rising and falling and water from the ice pooling though their clothes.
"i started to wonder," yuri said softly, cold, wet fingers linking with victor's, "back before i met you..."
victor keeps moving his thumb backwards and forwards over yuri's soft skin.
"...and after what happened...that night..."
"a fucking whore"
victor's thumb stopped moving.
"...what it would be like if the sun gave out, and the stars dimmed, and the sky went dark and the world went out like a light..."
yuri took a breath.
"...and took us all with it..."
he turned his head to look at victor, the bruised side of his face meeting the harsh coolness of the ice.
"...and how none of us would be suspecting a thing...and it wouldn't hurt...and every fucking thing would all be over...just like that..."
"you could be listening to the 1975 when the sun died," victor whispered, a faint smile on his cold lips, "and wouldn't know a thing."
yuri laughed, but two tears fell one after the other across his face. victor reach out to brush them away with freezing fingers, laying against the ice with yuri.
"...we can't make love when you fly around me baby..."
"we're listening to the 1975 right now, vitya," yuri whispered, lying only inches away from him on the vast expanse of cold, white ice. "what if the sun gave out right now, and you and i died right here, right now?"
yuri closed his eyes, and a wisp of a smile appeared on his soft, cracked lips.
"i wouldn't mind," he whispered, opening his big, brown eyes to look at victor. "to die right here with you...right now...to not feel a thing...for it all to end with you and i right here...right now...for it all to stop hurting...run away like watercolours..."
yuri gave a small laugh, and soft, dark, dark hair fell into his eyes.
"but when watercolours run down a canvas," he went on, soft voice still no more than a whisper, and another tear running down his face without a warning, "they still leave the faintest trace, don't they?"
he looked away from victor, and up at the bright, cold lights overhead.
"what if there is a heaven, vitya? and you and i close our eyes, end up above the clouds...and still remember every fucking thing, like lilac watercolour..."
"...pipe down now, lover..."
victor breathed out slow, and put one cold hand on the side of yuri's face, rubbing the soft, cold, delicate skin as f he would crack and fall away in shards like diamonds; as if he were as fragile as thin ice.
"we're not going anywhere just yet, baby," he murmured, lips touching the edge of yuri's, who tilted his head to their touch. "you're gonna stay down here with me for a little while longer, and you're gonna be safe..."
victor's lips melded with yuri's, and he kissed yuri katsuki longingly.
"...and one day, we are gonna go up to heaven...you and i...and if there isn't a heaven at all...we're gonna go somewhere better, baby...but i'm gonna keep loving you until the sun does die...and the stars do go out...no matter where we are..."
yuri opened his eyes once again, and victor could see that they're sparkling with tears like the ice below the both of them.
"promise?" yuri said, and victor held him closer to him, breathing in the scent of bubblegum and his black armani jacket brushing against the side of his face as he pressed his cold lips against the warm, tender skin of yuri's neck.
"promise," he whispered back, water from the ice seeping through his shirt, making him shiver as he held his yuri close.
"stay close to me," he murmured into his hair, and willed the sun to shine down a little longer on his angel.