Farren couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that he realised the extent of his feelings for Kaden, but he suspected that it was somewhere in between the 'Sonata in F' and 'River Flows in You.'
As he lay that night in Kaden's embrace, it was all he could do to keep himself from crying, or screaming with joy.
The truth was, he was terrified. What he felt for Kaden.. he had never felt that before.
Was it love? He didn't know. And he didn't want to know.. the answer was too scary to think about.
He checked the time on his phone.
4:06
Another sleepless night.
It had been a couple weeks since he had an insomniac spell this bad, and he suspected that it had something to do with sharing a bed with Kaden.
But now, as he lay in bed, he had no control of his whirring thoughts.
He found his train of thought heading towards a new but old destination; his parents.
And it was then that the tears began streaming down his face silently, as if daring him to feel.
He didn't often think of his parents, he had pushed their death to the back of his mind and acted as if nothing was wrong.
But it was at times like this, when he was most vulnerable, that how much he was missing them started to show.
He had seen them die, he knew that for a fact. But he couldn't remember it. The doctors had said it was some form of selective amnesia, that his brain had consciously blocked out the images from that day.
Farren was glad too, he couldn't imagine how haunting it would be to have to see that ever night.
But he missed them so fucking much.
He missed how much his father taught him all about football. He missed his mom collecting him from school, and walking home with him as they talked about their days.
And he missed the moments they never lived to see. He missed them when he scored his first touchdown in his debut football game. He missed them when he got an A in history last year, after almost failing the year before.
He lay their with hot tears running down his cheeks. He tried to be quiet for Kaden's sake, but could not stop small noises escaping his lips occasionally.
"Farren?" A voice croaked from beside him.
Oh shit.
"Yeah Kaden?" He whispered back, straining to keep his voice level.
"What's wrong Farry?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
Kaden was silent for a moment, and just as Farren's though he had dropped it he felt a hand on his cheek.
"Hey, Farren. What's up?"
Farren could hear from Kaden's voice that he was fully awake now.
"It's nothing. Just thinking about my parents and stuff, you know."
His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could make out Kaden's face as he lay there. Kaden used his thumb to wipe the tears off Farren's face, and brought him in for a short kiss.
"Is there anything I can do?" Asked Kaden.
"You're doing it." Farren replied honestly with a small smile.
He felt Kaden move beside him, and next thing he knew Kaden's arm was around his waist and his back was pressed against Kaden's chest.
He snuggled deeper into the embrace, and shivered when Kaden nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck.
It didn't take long to fall asleep after that. Farren found comfort in Kaden's arms. He felt like this was the place he belonged, right here in Kaden Rivers' arms.
*
Another week passed and soon it was time for another party.
Farren was not exactly ecstatic about it.
But he worried that his friends would get suspicious. Himself and Kaden had missed an awful lot of parties lately, and it wasn't long until one of his friends questioned him about it.
He didn't even know what 'it' was. They weren't even technically together, but at times he wished they were. But Kaden would never say yes to that, and Farren knew that he would just be left embarrassed.
It was his own fucking fault for suggesting they be non exclusive. God he was an idiot sometimes.
He found himself on the couch with some pretty blonde girl.
But all he could think of was some other pretty blond.
He had a red solo cup in hand, and there was loud house music being played over the Sony speakers in the living room, causing the floor to tremble slightly.
He tried to focus on what the girl was talking about, but couldn't prevent his eyes from subconsciously flitting around the room.
Until they came to a stop when they found what they were looking for.
Wait, since when were Kaden and Lee friends?
And why were they standing that fucking close to each other?
He found himself staring Kaden dead in the eye, as Kaden leaned forward to whisper something in Lee's ear.
Well two can play at that game.
He refocused his attention on the girl, Lucy, in front of him.
"What were you saying?" He asked seductively, getting his flirt on.
For a moment she looked taken aback at his change in demeanour, before smiling shyly at him.
"I was just saying that it's pretty hot in here," she said with a small smile.
"Oh trust me, it's not just the room that's hot," he said with a wink, and from over Lucy's shoulder he could see Kaden's gaze harden.
But before he could relish in his victory, Kaden said something obviously flirtatious to Lee, causing him to laugh aloud.
Fuck, this was not happening.
Farren leaned closer to Lucy, pushing her hair out of her blushing face and whispering in her ear. "You're looking pretty hot yourself."
He pulled back smugly, but his expression was aimed at Kaden.
But what he saw next made his heart fucking drop.
Kaden stared Farren dead in the eye, before grabbing Lee by the shoulder and pulling him in for a kiss.
Too stunned to do anything, Farren just sat there for a second. People around him began to notice Kaden and Lee, and before he did something he regretted, Farren stood up and stormed out of the house, catching the sympathetic look Jesse gave him as he left.
Fucking hell Kaden.
XXXXX
Kaden made his way over to the far side of the sitting room. The perfect position to keep an eye on Farren.
"Want a drink?"
He turned at the sound of a deep voice, and was met with the sight of Lee holding a beer out towards him.
"Sure," he said with a tired smile.
"No problem," Lee said, leaning against the table with Kaden.
A moment later, he heard Lee chuckle beside him.
"What?" He asked suspiciously, turning to face him
"I just realised why you picked this spot to stand at."
"And why's that?" He asked, trying to keep his tone neutral but unable to fight the blush on his cheeks.
"Farren-watch, I'm guessing. Whipped bastard." Lee said with a laugh.
"Oh shut up."
"So I presume things are going well between you two?" Lee asked with a smile.
Kaden and Lee had met up for a run earlier that week, and Kaden had filled Lee in on the whole Farren situation.
"Not too sure." Kaden said with a shrug, trying to keep his voice level.
"What do you mean?" Lee asked with concern, and Kaden just shrugged in reply.
"I really fucking like him Lee, and I want to make things official between us. But he just wants to fool around." Kaden spat out, voice sounding more harsh than he intended.
"Well are you sure? I mean, have you tried talking to him about it?"
"I don't want to, I'll just embarrass myself. Besides, made it pretty clear that we're not going to be getting together anytime soon." Kaden said, trailing off at the end as he made eye contact with Farren, who was sat with some chick on the other side of the room.
"Surprisingly enough, I know how you feel. I myself am in a kinda similar predicament," Lee replied with a small smile and a shrug.
"With mystery boy?" Kaden asked as he dragged his eyes away from Farren, voice perking up with interest. Lee hadn't indulged Kaden much, but told him he was seeing someone at school, a closet case it seemed.
"Yup. I asked him about going public with our relationship, and he freaked out and said we weren't even together." Lee said, attempting nonchalance. But Kaden could hear the hurt in his tone.
"Ouch man, sorry about that." Kaden said, cringing sympathetically. "I think that would probably be an issue for me and Farren too, he wouldn't be up for the whole coming out thing."
"But you would?" Lee asked with interest.
Kaden shrugged. "Why not. It's not like I care what any of these people think of me."
"Well, have you thought of trying to ma-" Lee began, but Kaden cut him off.
"Make Farren jealous? Yes, we already used that tactic, remember?" Kaden said with a small laugh.
"Yeah, but it worked didn't it." Lee said, and Kaden could see the mischievous glint in his eyes.
"What do you suggest?" Kaden asked slowly, a smile creeping onto his face.
"You said you'd be down with coming out and all that?"
"Yeah.." Kaden said slowly, getting an idea at where this conversation was heading.
"And you're sure about that?"
"Yes."
"Okay then. Follow my lead," Lee said with a smirk.
"Are we really doing this?" Kaden asked with a laugh.
"Well, Tyler is in the room too, and it's about time he woke the fuck up and realised how much he actually liked me." Lee said, the sweet smile on his face contradicting his words.
"So Tyler's his name? Finally, some actual information." Kaden said with a laugh.
"Oh shut up. Now do what I say. Lean in close and whisper in my ear."
Kaden nodded with a small smile, leaning forward until his mouth was right at Lee's ear.
"So, you really think this could work again?"
"Worth a try." Lee whispered in reply, and Kaden could see Farren's eyes narrow jealousy from across the room.
Then Farren's face softened as he turned to face the girl next to.him, and this time it was Kaden that felt his face harden as Farren winked at the girl.
Hopefully she'd think he had an eye twitching problem.
"Hey, start laughing." Kaden said to Lee with a forced smile, as he could feel Farren's eyes on him.
Lee obliged, throwing his head back in what seemed like such faked laugher. But Farren seemed to buy it as Kaden could literally see smoke coming out his ears.
But he felt his heart drop when Farren pushed the girl's hair out of her face and whispered in her ear.
He tore his eyes away from them and was met with Lee's expectant face.
"You really wanna make Tyler jealous?" He asked Lee breathlessly, jealousy streaming through his blood and clogging up his mind.
"Do what you have to do." Lee said with a pointed shrug.
"Even if it means that we are both thrown so far out of the closet we'd have to take a train just to see it again?"
"Sure," Lee chuckled, and Kaden couldn't help but think it was cute that Lee was so into Tyler he was willing to do this.
"Fine, but you asked for it." Kaden said with a devilish smirk.
He took one last look to where Farren was staring at them. He looked Farren dead in the eye with his face devoid of emotion, before pulling Lee to him and crashing their lips together.
The kiss was okay. It felt nice, sure. But it wasn't Farren, and Farren was the key factor.
When they pulled away for air a minute or two later, Kaden's eyes immediately went to where Farren had been sitting moments ago.
His heart dropped when he say that the seat was empty.
He didn't even care enough about anyone else to hear their shocked whisperings around him, or to feel the stares him and Lee were getting.
He turned back to face Lee with an apologetic smile as he got ready to leave, but Lee's eyes too seemed to be scanning the room, looking for Tyler, Kaden presumed.
And with that Kaden said a quiet goodbye to Lee, before leaving the house and chasing after the one good thing he had going for him at the moment.
Farren Milton.
XXXXX
Sooo, it's been a while longer than usual. I just needed some time off from writing lol.
But anyway, hope y'all enjoyed!! Please leaves vote as it help gets my story noticed :)
Qotc; Favourite character so far?
Aotc: Farren maybe? Idk lol
Love you!!!
-A