9S wakes up to another day. He goes through his basic functions, more out of habit than anything. Sound, check. Vocal functions, check. Sensitivity, check. Vision, check. He was just about to test out his limbs before Ventuna suddenly entered his room, looking out of breath.
9S scrambles off his bed. "H-hey, are you okay?" He would be more concerned if it weren't for the large grin on her face.
"Nines!" Ventuna huffs out, "The cake is ready!"
"Wha-" 9S couldn't even finish his question before she grabs his wrist and is leading him downstairs. Ventuna had longer legs than he did, so he struggled to catch up. "What are you doing?!" He shouts as they narrowly dodge a corner. This is reckless! The house wasn't big enough for this kind of behavior! A part of him grimaces at the thought. He sounded like the stiffs back in the bunker.
Ventuna giggles. "What are you talking about? Aren't you excited?" She dashes and doesn't even slow down as they get closer to the door. 9S almost believes they're going to crash right into it, but Ventuna proves him wrong with a sudden push and then they're outside.
9S' bare feet make contact with the fresh grass. They skid to a stop and 9S is exhausted. "Okay, you're starting to freak me out. What's happening?" He says in between pants. Wow, this body is really unfit. He never had issues physically, due to the fact that Androids' bodies were created to be capable. War ready– even if their particular model wasn't a battle type.
Ventuna rolls her eyes and points at the cake in the middle of a picnic table. Mother and Father were at opposite sides of the table, smiles brightly on their faces. Adam and Eve are sitting on the seats, grinning. 9S stares dumbly at the cake before glancing at his Family and Friends. They seem to be waiting for some sort of reaction. Anxiety starts to bubble in his stomach. What was he supposed to say? Okay– quick. Think, 9S thinks to himself, there has to be something that could help him figure out his situation. Start with the cake. The cake seems to hold a lot of value for some odd reason. It was a pretty looking dessert. 9S squinted, looking at the words on the cake. Happy Birthday.
"Oh," 9S says, just above a whisper. His eyes widen and he looks at Ventuna, shocked. "No way." He couldn't help the disbelief from showing. It was... his Birthday? 9S had never experienced such a thing. He remembers finding old Birthday cards in the ruins. He remembers looking through the bunker's logs for more information about Birthdays. He... remembers asking Operator 21O if he had one.
("Operator 21O." 9S says, catching her attention. Operator 21O raises an eyebrow, signaling 9S to continue. "Do..." It was embarrassing to ask, but 9S wanted to know, "Do Androids have Birthdays?"
9S saw something flash in her artificial eyes before it disappears. With her usual cool expression, she answers without mercy. "No." She turns her back to him, "Stop thinking about such things. It's idiotic." But 9S could hear a drop of sadness in her voice.)
Was it selfish of him to be happy? Was it selfish of him to claim this day as his? It... didn't belong to 9S– it belonged to the boy whose body he is currently inhabiting. This wasn't fair.
Ventuna beams at him. She grabs his hand and leads him to a seat, right in front of the cake. He watches Mother light up the candles and he sees Ventuna fidgeting with excitement.
('Humans had many rituals. One ritual that they did, was wishing on their Birthday. First, there would be a cake– a dessert humans adored. For more information on cakes, please refer to Human Book 583 – with candles on top. The number of candles depended on the Birthday celebrant. The number of candles would be the same number of years that person had been alive. The Birthday celebrant would blow the fire off the candle and while doing so, they had to make a wish. They are not allowed to speak to others of what their wish had been.')
9S stares at the nine candles in front of him. He wanted to feel guilty, but instead, he was intrigued. Thrilled, almost. He had never thought he could partake in such a ritual. Nine candles– how fitting.
But what to wish? What could he want? 9S scoffs silently to himself. Science has long proven that the wish would not be granted. So, it didn't matter what he wished for, right?
He blows the fire away. His Family around him cheered. Eve pats him on the back and Adam fingers a bit of frosting into his mouth.
He had wished for forgiveness. He failed 2B, Operator 21O– everyone. He had stolen the life of an innocent. He didn't deserve forgiveness, but it wasn't like he was actually going to receive it anyway.
---
9S had many Birthdays from then on. He'd have one every year like all humans did. The first few times, he was delighted! Oh, how exciting it was- especially since every year it was always different. But as the years come- year after year- the growing guilt inside him becomes not unlike to an itch that he can't scratch. It becomes a horror whenever it was his birthday- a gnawing, hungry pit that twists his insides. He wants to ask them to stop please stop holding parties for me this isn't for me and never will- But he never said any of those thoughts out loud. Every time it was his Birthday, 9S smiled and said thank you's.
9S had made friends along the way. People started to know him and he started to know them. 9S always liked interacting and socialising– he was often told he never knew when to shut up– but the downside to having friends was that they were invited whenever it was his Birthday. Those people are celebrating a dead child's birthday. They don't even know he's dead. It feels deceitful.
What was the most shocking was the fact that 9S had grown close to Adam and Eve. From anyone else's point of view, the three of them might have seemed like best friends. Perhaps they were. Did Adam and Even think of 9S as their best friend? It... was an odd thought.
Just like with Ventuna and Operator 21O– 9S started seeing more differences between the Adam and Eve that were Machines and the Adam and Eve that were humans. The Adam of this world was a genius in his own right. Both Adams hold a thirst for knowledge, but this world's Adam lacked the obsession of humanity and desire to be alike to humans. Instead, he was most interested in being different from the masses. He wanted to be an individual. Just like before, 9S didn't understand Adam.
Eve, although mute, was extremely expressive. 9S had learned how to do sign-language to communicate with him and 9S had found out some interesting things. Apparently, Eve wasn't always mute. An accident happened and now he is unable to speak. When 9S asked what that accident was, Eve simply signed, 'I had to protect my brother.' Much like Machine Eve, Human Eve was physically stronger than Adam. He didn't have the same odd interests Adam had, Eve just wanted to be with his brother. Eve was a lot easier to talk to than Adam.
Ventuna, as time flies, starts to resemble Operator 21O even more, which makes sense. Operator 21O was an adult and now Ventuna is 19 years old. The small signs of familial affection he saw in Operator 21O is openly displayed in Ventuna. Ventuna has matured greatly, thus changing 9S' perspective. He used to think of Ventuna as someone who looked like Operator 21O but acted completely opposite– like a child– however now that their personalities have become more alike, it became harder to differentiate the two. This is what Operator 21O could've been. 9S doesn't see Ventuna as often anymore. She's at University. If 9S remembers right, she is studying Tourism.
("Don't worry, Nines!" Ventuna smiled brightly, luggage already in the car. "I'll come to visit whenever I can."
9S smiled thinly. He can't deny that he has grown fond of Ventuna. She's like a big sister he never had. "I know."
"Besides," Ventuna says, bringing out a rectangular object. "I still have this!"
9S stares at the piece of technology in her hands– the same one he made due to Ventuna's request. Engraved on its sleek black surface reads 'Pod 153.' It doesn't look like Pod 153, but 9S was feeling sentimental. His excuse back then was something along the lines of "so the enemy will think that there are more of us!" 9S smiled at the memory. "Yeah, you're right." He still had the matching one that read 'Pod 042.')
Now, four years since his first Birthday, age 13, 9S is surprised to see how well he had adjusted to human civilization and mind you, it isn't easy getting used to a world you have never experienced before. 9S has grown accustomed to humans, but that doesn't mean he accepts the fact that he is here in the first place.
He refuses to look at the mirror as much as possible.
A small part of 9S is grateful that 2B didn't have to go through with such a big change. It was only due to his extensive knowledge regarding the human culture that he's somehow managing.
"I'm bored," Adam says, carefreely. The teen balancing on the hind legs of his chair. 9S found it weird and interesting at the same time.
Eve signed, 'There isn't a lot to do. Lunch is going to end soon.' He then proceeded to sip on his milk carton.
"Eve is right," 9S speaks up, "Perhaps after school?"
Adam scoffed. "After school? Like regular teenagers? I refuse." His chair made a loud sound as he sat down on his chair properly. Adam crosses his arms.
"Then what do you suggest we do?" 9S asks, exasperated. He shoves a grape in his mouth.
Adam pushes his glasses up and smirks. 9S has a bad feeling. "How about at night?"
9S shares a look with Eve. 'What?' Eve signs. Going out at night isn't really a spectacular activity.
Adam stands up on his chair, placing one foot on 9S' desk. He didn't seem to mind the glances from their classmates, in fact, he soaked in the attention like a sponge but he didn't pay them any mind. 9S hears sighs from the other students before they focus on other things that are not Adam. By now, everyone is used to him. "Let us explore this city during the dead of the night!" Adam declares.
Eve grins widely, following Adam's example and started standing on his chair as well. He puts his hands on his hips and puffs his chest out. 9S found the action endearing.
Finally, 9S processes what Adam had just said. "Wait– what?" He splutters. "Are you sure? We're only minors and–"
"That is precisely why we must go!" Adam cuts him off, landing gracefully back on the ground like nothing happened. He was always one for theatrics. "Aren't you curious, Nines? The world of the adults!" Humans, 9S' mind supplied, the world of the humans and what they do while children like him were supposed to be asleep.
It was a low blow. Adam knew that if 9S was interested he couldn't say no. Eve stares down at him for his answer and Adam has a confident smirk. "This will end terribly." 9S finally speaks, "I can't believe you're peer pressuring a thirteen-year-old." He says dryly.
Adam chuckles. "I don't hear a no." The teen sits down on his chair again, Eve following. "Besides, we're only 2 years older than you."
"Such admirable fifteen-year-olds."
"Oh shush."
Eve silently laughs.
---
This was such a bad idea. 9S regrets everything. Why did he even agree to this? Although, he could've just stayed home instead of going through with it. But Adam and Eve were only fifteen. Far too young. 9S may be hosting a 13-year old's body, but he wasn't mentally thirteen. If they got in trouble, 9S is most likely to come up with something that could save their butts.
Also, he's been in a war. A long war. He can handle a simple outing.
9S snuggles into his wool scarf. It just had to be Autumn. 9S idly rubs his hands together. He didn't have to do that when he was an Android. He continues walking, trying to find Adam and Eve. They said they would be around the train station. His eyes fall on the giant clock– 2:35 am. Yeah. Definitely a bad idea. As an Android, 9S didn't need sleep but as a human 9S needed sleep terribly.
It's really surprising that there are still so many people out, 9S thinks to himself as he pushes through the crowd, although not as bad as in the day. From the corner of his eyes, 9S sees a small store. A cafe. 9S scans the area around him once again– still no signs of Adam and Eve. He shrugs, he can afford to check out a store before he has to continue searching.
9S opens the door and a small ring follows. The cafe had a homey feel to it. Thankfully, there weren't a lot of people. Just a few possibly sleep-deprived students and adults. His gaze falls on the person behind the counter and 9S' heart skids to a stop. Was... was that Devola? Holy crap– it totally was. And now she's looking at him. Oh no no no no–
Look natural. Go through the basic breathing procedures. Inhale and exhale. Don't get overwhelmed. Timidly, 9S walked up to the counter. It would look weird if he went in the cafe only to leave immediately. He purposefully didn't look at Devola in the eye. "Uh... Do you guys still have some snacks?" Wow, that sounded really embarrassing. He sounded like he really was thirteen!
Devola chuckles. "Sure we do, kid." She points to the display of baked goods. "Just choose which one you want."
Did 9S even have money on him? He dug into his pocket. Okay, good, he does. 9S looks through the choices. There wasn't a lot, considering that it was already 2 am. Oh man, it's 2 am. Does she think it's odd for someone his age to be out alone? Stupid question– of course, she does! "Erm... Can I have this one, please?" He points to the oat cookie. He needs to get out of here.
Devola hums. "Alright." Everything about her is carefree and languid. She puts the oat cookie in a paper bag before giving it to him. "That'd be 2.50"
Thank the gods, 9S has enough for the oat cookie. 9S had enough humiliation for one night. "Thank you." He says, giving her the money.
Devola gives a lazy smile. "Have a nice night."
9S didn't take for granted the chance to escape. He exits the cafe and into the cold Autumn air. At least he got a cookie. 9S walks around aimlessly, still trying to find the twins. Where the heck are they?
9S sits on a random bench he found, nibbling on the oat cookie. That was Devola earlier– he still can't believe it. What... what if everyone was here? Somewhere in this alternate reality, the people he–
9S chokes back the sob threatening to escape. 2B could... she could be somewhere. He entertains the thought for a little bit. Just a little bit. 2B could be alive in this world. Alive, healthy and happy. Living a life in peace without him.
9S thinks that's fine.
If 2B is somewhere in this world living the life she deserves then 9S... 9S doesn't want to meet her. He doesn't want to involve himself in her life– he can't. He thinks back to fire and ashes– to bodies scattered on the ground like trash. He remembers cutting through Androids like paper and he remembers frantically rushing. He has to get to her– he has to he has to he has to–
9S takes a shaky breath. She wouldn't remember the bloodshed and the death– none of them seem to do. 9S is the only one. He chuckles bitterly. Of course, it'd be him. The only one who has to remember the ones who died and the ones who should've lived. The only one with hands tainted in this pristine world–
Yeah. He can't meet her. He doesn't deserve to see her. It would be better if filth like him stayed away. There's some weird pressure beneath his eyes and that only serves as another reminder that he isn't like them– he was never created as a human– and that makes him an outsider. Liquid starts to run down his cheek. It feels different to how Androids shed tears.
The world he lived in is gone. He's the only thing of it that remains.
Why couldn't he just be dead as well?
9S crumpled up the empty paper bag. He stands up and throws it in the nearest trash bin. Opening his phone, he sends a quick text:
Sorry. Going home.
---
The next day, Adam has a black eye and Eve has bandages around his knuckles. An anchor of dread sits heavy in 9S' stomach.
9S immediately asks for what happened and Eve reassures they're okay. Apparently, there was a group of men– possibly from a gang– beating someone up. It was Adam's idea to go and help, to which Adam scoffs at. "It's because of scums like them that we can't live peacefully in this world," Adam says. Oh, the irony.
9S curls into himself, gripping his hair. He sinks into his desk. Oh god. This– This was exactly why he decided to go with them in the first place. But because of how stupid he was they–
He feels a pat on his shoulder and 9S looks up to see Eve smiling at him. 'It's okay. Not your fault.'
But 9S sees something in their eyes that changed. He's afraid of what could happen from now on. 9S gives the floor a bitter smile, unable to meet Eve's gaze. "Okay."
---
It was a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon and 9S found himself helping his Mother with the dishes from lunch. It was to be expected, this is what Family do. Especially since Ventuna is off at University. However, 9S could still feel anxiety crawl on his skin like an insect. It was always intimidating being with his Parents, somehow.
Gratefully, Mother seems oblivious to his plight. She stares at him, hands automatically washing the dishes.
9S dries a plate with a small towel. "Um... is there something on my face?"
Mother smiles, focusing back on her task. "It's not that, sweetheart." She scrubs down on a particularly nasty stain. "I'm just surprised your hair is still white."
9S comes to a halt. Did he just hear that correctly? His hair... wasn't originally white? He knows that white hair isn't a common hair color among young people– he's seen the people around him– but surely it wasn't weird... right? Adam and Eve's hair is white. "Uh." Is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Great going, he thinks to himself. How on earth is he going to get answers? The curiosity in him is almost suffocating.
"Did you dye your hair without us realizing?" Mother asks with a playful tone.
9S shakes his head. "Nope."
"Then I hope your brown hair comes back soon," She sighs wistfully, "I've seen pictures and it's beautiful. Such a shame."
His hair was brown. Nines' original hair color was brown. He... oddly feels distanced from this boy he never met. "A shame?" He questions. Mother hasn't seen his hair before it was white. That means Nines' had brown hair at one point before his adoption. What could've happened? It doesn't sound like his hair was dyed from Mother's tone, but... "Is white hair no good?" He forces himself to sound casual– joking-like.
She chuckles and the sound is like lemon and honey. "No, not at all. You strangely suit white." Mother places the last dish, a cup, on the drying rack and proceeds to dry her hands. She grabs another towel to help him. "It's just... unfortunate that it turned out the way it did and why." Her expression grows somber.
9S can't take it anymore. He needs to know. Steeling his nerves, he decides to take a leap of faith. Please work. "Why did my hair turn white anyway?" He quickly adds, "It was brown and then next thing I knew it was white."
Mother looks at him straight in the eyes, a gentle but sad smile on her face. "After all that... happened–" Which 9S still has no clue about– "enough stress ends up making the hair grow white. It's called the Marie Antoinette Syndrome." She heavily sighs and whispers to herself, "You were still so young too. Of course, you wouldn't know about it."
9S never heard of that syndrome before. It doesn't seem deadly– which is probably why he never heard or read about it before– so perhaps he'll be fine. However, his interests have been piqued. 9S helps his Mother put the last of the dishes away and puts his towel away.
"Thank you for your help, sweetheart."
9S smiles. "No problem!" He should be the one thanking her for giving him more info about his other self's life.
He rushes up the stairs to begin researching.
---
9S now knows what Marie Antoinette Syndrome is.
What could've happened to do this to Nines?
---
"Hey, you guys," 9S says while he and the twins were walking to the train station. "That white hair... isn't natural, is it?"
Adam smirks. "Nope!" He says, popping the 'p.'
Eve lets put a soundless laugh.
"We actually dyed our hair." Adam finally supplies.
"But why?"
'To look cool.' Eve signs. 'It was brother's idea.' 9S should've expected that.
"Precisely!" Adam declares, coming to a halt. They've arrived at the train station. "It's going to become a trend and then we can proudly say that we started it."
Pulling out his phone, 9S searches 'dyed white hair.' He chuckles at the results. "It looks like it's already a trend."
"What?!" The screech that comes out of Adam's mouth causes 9S to jump. Before he knew it, Adam grabbed his phone to stare wide-eyed at the screen. "No way."
9S kinda feels bad for him.
Eve moves to sign. 'I told you.'
---
White hair isn't natural- unless you're old. 9S self consciously runs his hands through his hair. What did Nines feel like living a life with abnormally colored hair? Did he lie to the people he met, saying that he dyed it? Did he tell them that he didn't? Did he avoid the subject altogether?
What should 9S do? No one has confronted him about his hair color yet. But someone is bound to at some point. 9S is living someone else's life so he must act accordingly. A noise of frustration leaves his lips. How is he supposed to do that? He doesn't know anything about him!
How can he find out more about Nines without being obvious?
His eyes trail off and land on the mirror in his room. He cringes. Despite looking so alike to how he had looked- this container isn't his. It looks uncanny to see himself without his blindfold. Makes him feel vulnerable. But 9S can't see with his eyes blindfolded, unfortunately.
Glaring at his reflection, he makes up his mind. He's going to find the orphanage that Nines had lived in.