Dan didnt really know what was happening. He was much too relaxed to think of what was happening. He just leaned in too. He was about to press his lips agaisnt Phils when the realisation hit. He immediately pulled away and looked down. "N-No." Dan strained. His eyes teared up as he forced himself to say, "I can't do this. You have Alex."
Phil immediately felt his heart break just looking at Dan, fuck he was so beautiful he needed Alex out of the situation "n-no Dan I don't care about Alex I'll break up with him- I-I'll do anything please." Phil said with a desperate whine, he was so close to kissing him
"You're just saying that out of pity. Please, I don't want to come between you both. This was a mistake." Dan struggled to get off Phil and move to his wheelchair, getting on it. He looked down and immediately wheeled out, back into his room.
"Dan why would I pity you?" Phil said but his heart dropped when Dan said this was a mistake "w-wait what? Why was this a mistake?" Phil said gulping back a lump in his throat
"I shouldn't have come here. I'm messing things up." Dan mumbled and moved into his room. As soon as he got there, he shut the door and let out a little sob.
"Dan you're not messing things up! I don't want to be with Alex I want to be with you- please Dan." phil said with a pleading tone behind the door, hearing Dans cried just made his heart hurt
Dan locked the door and ignored phil. This was not good. Dan was horrible. Phil didn't need Dan too ruin things. Honestly, he wished this would all end and he could
leave, but he had to pay his mum back first.
"Dan please listen to me-" phil begged behind the door, leaning against it "do you really not want this? Was it really a mistake everything that's happened between us?" Phil asked not wanting to hear the answer
Dan took a deep breath and opened the door. "I'm a depressed, suicidal alcoholic that you should've left on the streets, okay? There's no way in hell I'm going to ruin your life by intervening any more than I already am. Please... Alex is good for you. He takes care of you. He's made you happier than you've ever been. All I've done is bother you."
"Dan you listen to me-" phil said holding back his tears "you have been nothing than good for me , I'm the one that drove you to all these things Dan and you not just some alcoholic that should have been dead on the streets you're my best friend." Phil said "you're the best thing to happen to me Dan please- I really do love you."
"So you fell in love with me after I got discharged a day ago, huh? That's believable." Dan said sarcastically and wheeled back to struggle to pull a suitcase up. He almost felt like Phil was mocking him.
"What? Dan no I've loved you since I've know you but now I really feel like there's something between us that can work more-" Phil said as he wiped the tears away quickly "but if you truly feel like everything was a mistake I'll just leave you alone - I just want you to know that I really love you Dan and I can't stand the thought of you leaving." Phil chocked up
"I have no reason to believe you." He sighed and began throwing his clothes uselessly into the suitcase along with his meds. "How can you say that when all you did was yell at me about how pathetic and selfish and worthless I was before I moved out? Was that out of love? Of course not! After that you dated A-Alex. So no way you fell in love then. Admit it, phil. It was all out of pity."
"Pity? You think I fell in love with you through pity?" Phil said almost angrily "I'm not in love with you out of pity Dan, yes I was so shit you can remind me of that everyday, and Dan I really do not think I'm in love with Alex, I'm more in love with the affection he gives me." Phil said "But Dan please I want you to listen to the words I'm telling you- and that's I really do believe that I love you." Phil said
"All you do is fucking talk!" Dan cried and turned to look up at him with big eyes, brimming with tears. "Prove it!"
Phil walked over to Dan and looked at him dead in the eyes "I will- you're so damn beautiful, you give me butterfly's every time I see you, you manage to make me laugh even at the lamest things, you're so strong. Your eyes go adorable and doey when you're interested in something and all of your freckles highlight how soft your face is and I cannot live without you Dan, you're the best thing that has come into my life." Phil said trying to get closer to Dan, he was so close
Dan's breath hitched and he stood up. "You're still talking. Youre still fucking talking. Prove it, Phil. Prove to me that you're not lying right now." Tears ran down Dan's cheeks and he looked at Phil.
Phils didn't hesitate to close the gap between his and Dans lips, the overwhelming sensation of Dans lips moulding against his was causing more sensations than he ever thought a kiss could, the salty tears were somewhere in the mix, but he gently held Dans cheek as he kissed him again, softly to show how genuine he is. The kiss only confirming his feelings for Dan
Dan gasped a little when he felt Phil's lips agaisnt his own soft ones. It took him a moment to melt into it, but when he did, it was like a something unwounded inside of him. Like the tightness in his throat finally loosened after so long. He just kissed Phil back with everything he had.
Phil felt so many waves of relief over him that Dan kissed back, he kissed Dan with so much determination, desperate to show Dan that he was real in what he said. The soft taste of Dans lips was perfect, he felt like he was floating as he kissed him again and again and again. He didn't want this to end, he held Dans hips, and gently moved the wheelchair out of the way, breaking the kiss for a second as he sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Dan to sit down and wrap his legs around Dans waist, needing to keep the kiss going
Dan didnt dare to pull away, because what if this was some dream? Well, in that case, he never wanted to wake up. He just sat in Phil's lap and wrapped his arms and legs around Phil as he kept kissing him, his eyes shut.
Phil pulled away from Dans chasing lips, his hand on Dans cheek "Dan look at me." Phil said softly and quietly
Dan pouted back a little to look up at Phil. His lips were red and pouty, just begging to be kissed again. He whined softly at the loss, "Yeah?"
"I love you, don't ever think that I would lie to you like that." Phil said "please don't leave me and tell me you regret everything it would crush me." Phil said with an achy chest
"I'm not good for you." Dan said. "But I wouldn't give up my time with you for anything in the whole world." Dan smiled at Phil.
"You're right you aren't good for me." Phil said softly, his hand protectively holding Dans waist
Dan bit his lip and looked down. "We shouldn't do this. Youre happier with A-Alex. Just, forget about me. I'll be gone soon enough anyway."
"-you didn't let me finish." Phil said "you're way too good for me, all I did was treat you like shit but you're here, you're here and you're kissing me." Phil said softly leaning forward kissing him
Dan let out a soft whimper when he felt Phil's lips press against his. He could never get enough of it. He kissed back immediately and chased after Phil's lips when he tried to pull away.
Phil loved the feeling of warmth throughout his body with the taste of his lips, holding Dan closer as he clutched his lower back, sliding further downwards to Dans ass for second
Dan blushed as he pushed his ass back in Phil's hand a little as he kissed him, wrapping his arms around his neck.
Phil didn't want to go any further than gentle kissing, he wanted to show Dan that he loved him, not that he found him sexually attractive. He moved his hands back up to kiss lower back, pecking his lips slowly
Dan finally pulled away when he was out of breath. "You're cheating on Alex," He stated the obvious, but he felt like he needed to remind Phil.
"I know- and I know, it's going to kill him and I feel so so bad." Phil said softly gulping "but I can't tell him that it was between me and you, I feel like he'd take it out on you-" phil said thinking hard "I don't want Alex as a boyfriend, kissing you and feeling everything I have for you made me realise that we had nothing but lust and friendship between us."
"O-Okay." Dan nodded. He didn't think this was going to work out at all. Maybe this was some elaborate sick joke? He didn't know, but he was in far too deep. But, he was certain that Alex would not be happy about it. And Dan was probably going to have to bare the brunt of it.
"I-" Phil said pecking Dans lips quickly "love-" Phil said again pecking Dans lips "You." Phil said softly this time making the kiss slightly deeper "and I will do everything to stop you hurting."
Dan didnt know at what point his eyes and watered up, but he was kissing Phil when he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks.
Phil pulled away confused his hand going to Dans cheek wiping the tears "hey hey hey what's up Dan?" Phil said softly and his face laced with concern
"I'm sorry, I just, d-didn't think–" he choked on a sob and wiped his eyes. "–that anyone would l-love me."
"Oh my god Daniel you are too sweet for this world." Phil said swallowing back a lump in his throat "you deserve so much I promise I will treat you as well as I physically can." Phil promised,he genuinely felt in love with him
Dan hugged him and buried his face in Phil's neck. He wondered if he should tell Phil about how he'd been planning on running away after he'd paid his mum back.
"You're so amazing Dan, don't you ever forget that I'm here and that I want you to stay with me until we're grey and old and I'm burning you, knowing you had the best life." Phil said holding the back of Dans head, running his hand through his hair "I love you."
"I love you too." Dan smiled into Phil's neck. It felt really good to say that. Like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He finally asked, "Do you wanna know a secret?"
Phil felt warm and happy that Dan finally said it back to him, his heart racing "yeah of course you can tell me anything." Phil said softly moving his hand to Dans lower back, moving his head to look into Dans eyes
"P-Promise not to freak out?" Dan asked uneasily snd looked away to avoid eye contact.
"I swear I wouldn't do that to you Dan." Phil said holding Dans thighs that were wrapped around him firmly
"I may or may not..." he mumbled, "have planned on running away after I had paid back my mum the money she'd given me for the hospital bills."
"W-what." Phil said, his heart beating faster in a bad way, his head beginning to spin, not getting around the idea
"Y-Yeah." Dan swallowed thickly and looked down, ashamed. It was embarrassing how weak he was.
"Oh Dan." Phil said his voice cracking, "how could you think like that, how would leaving everything behind for nothing benefit you?" Phil said shakily
"I just–" he bit his lip "–didn't think I had a reason to live here anymore I didn't have anything. All I do is burdern the people around me."
"Oh my god I canny believe you would believe that, if you left I wouldn't have been sane." Phil said "you mean the world to me I fought so hard for you to stay by my side."
"I-I, that's not t-true." Dan mumbled and looked down. Alex's words playing in his head.
"What do you mean that's not true?" Phil said gulping with heart ache "of course it true I would lie to you Dan."
"Alex told me how happy you were when you forgot I existed and went on a date with him and stuff." He mumbled.
"Oh Dan-" phil sighed shaking his head "Dan I didn't forget you existed at all, I just thought that you would be okay that day and I didn't realise the time because Alex kept insisting that-" phil slowed down his speech before furrowing his eyebrows "wait Alex said what to you?"
"N-nothing." Dan said immediately, remembering how Alex had said he would hurt dan if Dan told phil.
"No Dan please tell me- what did Alex do to you?" Phil said feeling a little worried that Alex would have said something so wrong to Dan
"Dan seriously tell me what Alex told you?" Phil said concerned about the way Dan was behaving about this, acting like he was hiding something
"I can't." Dan shook his head, clearly not going to budge.
"Why can't you- look no it's fine I'm not going to ruin this by constantly getting on your back I'll just ring Alex later-" Phil said sighing
"No!" Dan's eyes widened. "You can't tell him I said anything!" Dan looked panicky.
Phil gently rubbed Dans thigh softly, his concern grew worse at Dans reaction "why? What'll happen if I ask him?" Phil said confused, he was going to ring Alex whether Dan wanted him to or not, he needed the answers
"No, you just can't! Promise me you won't!" Dan said desperately. His eyes wide with fear.
Phil looked at Dan softly "I'm not going to promise you that because you're really worrying me, you're acting like the world will end if I ask him why he said that to you." Phil said
"No, please, you can't, please!" Dan looked like he was close to tears and he was shaking his head.
"Dan look I want you to listen to me." Phil said cupping Dans cheeks softly "if you tell me what he said I won't need to ring him, but right now you're worrying me sick, you never act like that his and I need to know what's happened."
"N-nothing," Dan stayed stubborn as he looked at Phil, trying to ease his heart a little and tell himself that it was okay.
"Okay I'll just ask Alex, I'm way to worried to let this drop I'm sorry." Phil said with sympathy
Dan bit his lip and nodded even though he was physically shaking. He got off Phil's lap and struggled to lay down as he curled up.
"Hey come here." Phil said chasing after him and wrapping his arms protectively wrap around Dans shaking figure "whatever is making you this scared I will not let it get to you like this, you're strong Dan."
Dan shook his head and just lay there, curled up. This was not going to end well. And he knew it. But he didn't say anything.
"Dan can you look at me I need to say something serious." Phil said softly and gently, bringing Dan closer to him
Dan nodded and turned around to look at Phil, sighing softly. He peered up at him.
"I love you so so much and I want you to understand whatever it is that's bothering you I'm happy to listen." Phil said before leaning in and pecking Dans soft lips
Dan kissed back but didn't say anything. He buried his face in Phil's neck and sighed. He wondered if he should just tell him. "Fine I'll tell you." Dan sighed. He began explaining and telling Phil all the harsh words Alex had ever said.
Phil was shaking with anger and sadness that the man he trusted, was going to give his first time to would do that to Dan. Phil softly stroked and calmed Dan down, kissing him and making him feel secure in his touch
"He told me not to tell you." Dan said finally, panting a little. "Or he'd hurt me. Please don't tell him I told you?"
"I won't let him hurt you Dan, he will not be able to." Phil hushed him softly, he needed Dan to feel secure around him "I will not tell him you told me but I will be going to his house and it'll all be over."
"O-Okay." Dan nodded and sighed a little. "Okay." He didn't sound too convinced. He was still scared. But, he knew there was no other choice.
"How about you have a lil nap for a bit? And then I'll cook us some lunch? Have you got anything you fancy?" Phil asked stroking Dans hair
Dan shook his head. He just wanted to be asleep so he could avoid dealing with everything. He just shut his eyes and let out a yawn to convince Phil to leave him alone.
"Dan-?" Phil asked, his voice soft, he couldn't help but to feel horrendously guilty that Alex had done all this to him behind his back and he didn't even see the manipulation Alex was using
"Sleepy. Can I sleep?" Dan mumbled. He wasn't in the mood of being alive right now. And sleep was the only way he could chill out for once.
"Yeah of course you can, let's get under the duvet-" phil suggested, getting ready to get under Dans covers
Dan curled up and fell asleep easily. He felt warm and cozy despite the uneasiness in his stomach, cuddling with Phil.
Phil could feel the tense atmosphere that Dan didn't want to be with Phil, once he knew Dan was asleep he snuck out of the bed and went into the front room, sitting on the couch with his head spinning, tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't know what to do